Sleep and Crying It Out.

I recommend the titles _The No-Cry Sleep Solution_ by Elizabeth Pantley and _The Baby Sleep Book_ by Sears to help you solve sleep issues without crying.

I tried it one time with my first child when she was a toddler and came to the realization that I wasn't going to do it when it felt awful and went against every fiber in my being.

There is scientific evidence that crying it out can be harmful. Makes sense to me.

Ok, first let me say I am opposed to the cio method. When mime were that little i would put there receiving blanket or mat on my chest then have the baby on top of it. When they fell asleep, the blanket was warm and they were not put on a cool bed. Also the blanket had my scent on it and it made sleeping in her bed easier. Next time you are together with your family, explain that when she is asleep she needs to be in her bed. There will be plenty of time for them to hold and play with her when she is awake. Babies do not need to be held 24/7.

It's rough when they don't sleep isn't it? However any child under a year is way too young for any kind of CIO method. Can you go to the library and get a copy of the No Cry Sleep Solution? It's a great book!!!! In the mean time your girl will need you to be there to soothe her to sleep. Dr Sears has a website www.askdrsears.com and there is one called Kellymom.com You will find LOTS of help there. Good luck!!!

6 months was a tough age for sleep for my son too. We used the CIO method only after the 5-S's stopped working. We comforted him after a few minutes of crying. We kept a strict bedtime routine with a bath and reading the same book. When we checked on him we kept the lights low, used soft words, white noise maker and avoided picking him up. It took about a week but now he's a great sleeper. Stick to your guns and soon your baby will be sleeping 12 hours or more through the night.

I feel your pain. I have a 5 1/2 month old boy and he is having sleep issues too. My husband also stays and home with him during the day while I work. Before I went back to work, I had Tyler going to sleep in his own and sleeping through most of the night. Since then, it has been downhill as my husband uses any means necessary to get him to sleep. He will not let him cry.

Two days ago, we went to a new pediatrician and they gave me some pointers. They said to lay them down drowsy and pat them on the back for a few moments. Then, if they cry, let them cry for 20 minutes or so. If the crying seems to be letting up, then let it go. If not, check on them and reassure them every 10-15 minutes.

We altered this method a bit and it seems to be helping. We put him in his crib at naptime/bedtime and let him play until he gets cranky. Then, we give him a pacifier and pat him on his back till he doses off. We plan to adjust this along the way. Once he is going down easily, we will stop patting his back.

I do not like hearing him cry but I think 20-30 minutes will not hurt him. Sometimes, if we let him cry for about 10 minutes, it wears him out enough that when we come back into the room and pat his back he goes right to sleep.

I hope this helps.

Hey A.!

There is nothing wrong with CIO, it is the only thing that worked for my baby. When my daughter was 3 months old I had to let her CIO. SHe is on a 3 hour eating routine (check out Babywise by Ezzo) and when I first started the first two days she cried through all of her 2 hour naps. It was so hard but by the third day she would cry about 30 mins of her naps and sleep the rest. By the eighth day she would cry about 15 mins and then sleep the rest. Now when I lay her down for naps she doesn't cry at all, she has also been sleeping through the night since she was 9 weeks old.

CIO is hard on moms but so good for you and baby. It teaches your baby the valuable lesson of learning to fall alseep on their own. If your baby learns it now you don't have to worry about having a toddler who can't sleep in their own bed or rocking your 5 year old to sleep.

Some helpful tips for coping with your baby crying is take a shower, vacum, do the laundry. Also if your baby is still crying for long periods of times listen for breaks or pauses in her cries. That lets you know she realizes nothing is wrong with her, she is just upset she is not being held.

Good luck!

Most people responding don't agree with the CIO method, however I DO!!! We used that method on my daughter at 4 months and she has been sleeping through the night (10-11 hrs) since 4 1/2 months. We had to put up with the crying for almost an hour each night for about 3-4 nights. Think of it this way... they learn to self-soothe and put themselves back to sleep. It's not harmful, it does make you sad and you want to go get them sooooo bad. I figure if you let her cry it out 50 minutes, you shouldn't have given up. But that's the hardest part of it all. I even cried tears myself. I do have to say, my baby knows her naps, knows her bed time, wake time, etc. She has a great bedtime routine and sleeps so well. If you are interested in doing the same thing then I recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits: Happy Child" by Marc Weiss. There are other methods explained in the book and you can choose which one would work best for you. Good luck.

P.S. Also consider having a bedtime routine so she knows to expect bed and sleep. And, try using a sound machine with soothing, calm noises. A river stream always works for my little one!

I rocked my daughter to sleep until she was 11 months old, and even know still rock her before laying her down. You mentioned that patting her back calmed her down to sleep...maybe rock her & pat her back until she sleeps? That's a tough situation, because by that age my daughter wanted nothing to do with swaddling, but yet she was still way too young to CIO.
Remember they are only babies for so long...take advantage of all the snuggly time you can now! Good luck!

I am SOOOO against the cry it out method. Think about this... you are a tiny little person, still new to this world... you depend on someone else to fulfill your every need... you have very limited communication skills... you cry to tell someone you need something, but they never come. It would be incredibly scary and I personally think it is cruel. My son is going through the exact same thing and is also almost 7 months. He was FANTASTIC at putting himself to sleep before the holidays... but then all the disruption to his routine and a cold for a week screwed it all up. I have gone back to nursing/rocking him to sleep and then putting him to bed. If he wakes up I put my hand on his tummy and calmly soothe him to sleep. Each night is getting better. It is hard, some nights have taken 2 hours, but he is worth my time. I will slowly shorten the rocking time so that he is going down awake and eventually we will be back on track. This is all very similar to the No Cry Sleep Solution and it works!!

One other note... even the man that was all for the CIO method, Dr. Farber, has recanted. He said that he does not believe that children should be left to cry alone as people have taken it. He says that people have taken his ideas out of context and too far. He only thinks that they should be allowed to fuss and not always picked up if they start to cry, but rather encouraged to calm themselves with gentle, more distant support. He does not agree with letting the child cry alone in a room for a long time.

I hope this is helpful.

What is your bedtime routine? When it's nearing bedtime I give my 9-month old one last bottle, take him to his room and dim the lights and read him a couple books. Then I turn the lights off and rock him through a couple lullabies. He's usually very relaxed by the time I'm done and has no problem falling asleep on his own. If he fusses, I return to his room to pat his back and give him his pacifier. On the rare occasion that he's very upset, I will rock him until he falls asleep. They are young and want to be reassured so don't hesitate to give her some extra attention if she has a bad night.

Dear A.,
I went through the same problem. Only I was much crazier than you, because my son was 13 months before he had his first full night of sleep and he was about 17 months old before he was sleeping through on a regular basis. I went to the local bookstore to try to find some books with expert advise. And I found it in this great book called "Solve Your Childs Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber, M.D. There are alot of details about what associations your child has with falling asleep and making sure he has the proper ones. And if there are no medical reasons for him not sleeping, they recommend letting him cry but on a small level. Start with waiting 5 minutes before you go check on him. When you go check on him, only calm him down with hugs and kisses DO NOT get him out of bed and only spend 2-3 min.. Then leave and let him cry a little longer this time, 10 min. then go comfort him if he needs it. And for the third wait 15 min. and continue at 15 min. waits until he falls asleep. The next day start out with the first wait 5 min. longer than the day before so start at 10 min, then 15,then 20, and stay at 20 until he falls asleep. Again the same the next day, start at 15 then, 20, and then 25. Most likely you won't need to go much further than this. I only had to do this for two days and we've had many nights of wonderful sleep since.
I think this method is easier on both of you cause you still feel like you are comforting him and he knows you are there and feels comforted.
Hope this helps a little, it was the only thing that I found to work.
A.

I must say I am not for this method. I tried it and it never worked for me. I think she just needs some time to get back into her regular routine again. It sounds like she just wants that extra love and cuddling form you. Does she fight sleep? I have a two year old that we still to this day have to wrape in a blank and put to sleep because she will fight and fight.. Sorry I could not help more. The only thing I suggest is try swaddling her in a blanket and hholdig her tight close to your chest. It works for us!