Young Boys Self Stimulating

I think that it's completely normal for any child to do it but for him to be doing it without realizing is what would concern me as a mother, have to tried talking to his doctor about this? They might want to send you to see a behavioral specialist to come up with a way to reduce this "need" for stimulation. Good Luck!

Maybe ask your Pediatrician... I'm sure they deal with this all the time.

He is at the cusp of pre-puberty... and you may ask your Pediatrician when the hormones in boys start to surge.

Your'e right not to want to shame him... but in school, if the other kids start to notice, he will be "shamed" or teased or worse. Or... as you know, that when males are stimulated, they get an "erection" and other things... and this may pose a problem, visually, for your son... because then others may/will notice.... and how will he hide it?

Maybe continue the stress-ball use at home too...

Have you spoken about it to him?

My Husband has a brother like that... and not to worry you, but for his brother, it became a "habit" and something he did whenever he was stressed and it was his way for "relaxing" and to fall asleep. (My husband and his brother shared the same bedroom growing up, so my Husband "knew" what his brother was doing). Then when he became an older teen to an "adult" he was able to control it more... consciously.

But yes, boys do this (and grown men too! LOL) & it is normal self-discovery... although I don't know to what extent is considered normal or not, or excessive... this is why, you might want to discuss it with your Pediatrician, or at least ask the Doctor how to go about talking about it or curbing it in school. He is getting to the age whereby he will "need" to know about how and when and where doing it is inappropriate or not... and especially in school, where there are boys AND girls... and how others will be affected by it.?

All the best,
Susan

My oldest is a girl as well, and she was the child who constantly had her hand in her pants. Putting her in clothes that made it more difficult helped cut down on it happening at school. We werte always very matter of fact and just said, "Hands out of your clothes." It's become a habit for your son, and habits are hard to break, but you need to be consistent between home and school and simply say that this is not acceptable. Equate it to picking food out of his teeth, blowing his nose, clipping his toenails or any other personal hygeine issue (with no shame attached), even hair combing, and explain that in public, others don't want to see certain things. Since we don't want to distract anyone or make them uncomfortable, we floss/wash/clip/whatever in private. And yes, eventually kids grow out of most annoying behaviors, but they quite often replace it with a new one (my daughter twirled her hair until it broke off). You may have to have similar discussions foir different behaviors.

When my son, who was Autism was about five or six, or maybe even a bit younger, we was doing something different to stimulate himself, which would have been VERY noticeable if other kids had seen it. At the time he was in a home program so the only ones who saw it were his tutors (all girls, that year), and us. I just told him, very frankly, that it feels good to touch yourself right there, but you can't do it around other people, because it is embarrassing to them. Those kinds of feelings are private, and if other people see you do it, they get embarrassed, just like they would if you went to the bathroom in front of them. He never did it in public again.
Just be frank. If you see him with his hands in his pants tell him to go do it in his bedroom. He knows he is doing it. He just needs to know that it is inappropriate to do it in front of other people.

this is tough. maybe try to explain to him that as much as it feels good to do those things that he should only do them in private (ie his bedroom) and not at school or in public. i agree i dont think he really knows what hes doing i just think he needs to be redirected to a time thats appropriate to do it. i hope this helps good luck!

S. you don't have to shame him to tell him that the only time he can do this is in private. You cannot change what he is doing, but you can limit it to his bedroom only. That includes putting his hand in his pants. I think it's time he learned about masturbation and modesty.

First off, he's doing it because it feels good. He might also be doing it to self soothe. There's no shame in it, he just needs to be taught appropriate behavior. You might try the "private parts in private places" rule." You might also want to review that no one is allowed to touch his private parts etc, as if he were a younger child. Since he's very dialed into that area he might be more accepting than a kid who is not.

As he get's older I'd make extra sure that any party he is invited to has good chaperoning. As the mom of young teens I can tell you that kids are way more sexually active than we were, and it seems to start in sixth grade.

Good luck.

I would express to him that our bodies are meant to feel pleasure, but there is an appropriate time and place for such things. I would tell him because the touching that feels good to him involves private body parts that the touching needs to occur in a private place, such as his room not a school or in the living room.

You need to talk to him about it. He is going to spend a lot more time being an adult than he is being a child and public mastrubation is not acceptable. He does know he is doing it by now. If he picked his nose all day you would tell him to stop. At 10 my daughter was mastrubating (not in public) and we talked to her about it. It stopped or at least lessened to the degree we did not notice it anymore.

It is unacceptable public behavior. No need to make him feel stupid. It is a natural feeling but he needs to control himself.

S.,
I believe your son knows exactly what he is doing. When he does it call attention to the behavior in a nice way, "Johnny, put your hand in your pocket." You want to replace the behavior with something acceptable. This is also true for his teacher, tap on the desk just says stop, it doesn't replace the behavior with an acceptable one. He will get used to replacing the behavior and will eventually stop.
Good luck,
Wendy

I think the first thing i would do is get him checked out by the doctor to be sure he doesn't have some kind of an irritation. If he's ok then i guess just talk to him or ask doctor for advice on how to handle this. Hope you get good advice. I'v never heard of this but sure it happens.

Welcome to the world of early puberty in boys! The behavior is hormonally-based, no worries, this will go away... but likely at a slower rate than you wish. Alicia

Ask your pediatrician, however my son is 16 months now and "humps" his blanket to sleep almost everynight/nap. Shocking to my husband and I...but after talking to the doctor and researching online we were even more shocked at how common it is. I was told the only time to really worry is if they seem to do it as if they were TAUGHT the behavior...which doesn't at all seem your case.

Hi S.,
My son is 6 and he has been doing this since he was about 3 or 4. Fortunately he only does it at home. While we still have not explained exactly what it is that he's doing, we have explained that it is something you only do at home in private. He only does this at bedtime - it helps him fall asleep sometimes and now he'll make sure he waits until we're out of the room. Your son is old enough to understand that what he's doing is private only and if he wants to do it, it has to be at home, alone. If it helps relax him when he's stressed, then he needs another method to use at school - maybe squeezing some pressure points on his hands or something like that.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

Yes, this happens. With boys and girls. My daughter was in 3rd or 4th grade when the teacher called it to our attention. We talked to her about the inappropriateness in public and the acceptability in private. I think she was mortified and it stopped! LOL ;)