Son Who Loves His Private

I just want to add that this is sooo normal. sometimes i notice my hubby doing it at home!!!! It's like males just have to put their hand in their pants!! LOL

MP~
Totally normal. Just be glad that he hasn't pulled it out in public. My best friend's son did that when we were at the shoe store once. We just told him to put it away and left it at that. Later, we had a good laugh!! Other moms totally understand and I know men understand also! They just need to learn to have some self control in public.
Good Luck!

Yes, it is quite normal. I appreciate it is embarrassing for you. He will do it more if he sees this and he wants to control you, or is seeking comfort.
Both are normal needs too.

The best thing I suggest is to ignore it, or if you must ask him not to, in public, do so in a light hearted way.
Otherwise give him things to do, lay the tabe, put away toys, clothes, draw the drapes, fluff the cushions, ANYTHING!
Give hims things to carry when you are out and about, he can get stuff in the super market, draw things in a restaurant... Give him something else to hold, like a toy or arbitarily ask him to hold things for you, keep his hands busy.
This is becoming a habit and you need to break it by drawing as little attention to it as possible.
At home let him do as he wants.
Lots of cuddles from you also helps him to feel secure and not need to self comfort so much.

Hang in there. Good Luck!

SOOOO normal. My mom is a teacher and the way she deals with this is by just saying "Hands out of pants." The key is to have no tone to your voice, not angry or embarrassed or amused. Totally dead faced. They get over it quickly when they don't get a reaction

I just wanted to let you know that I have Twin 5 yr old boys and they both do that. I don't know why but I figure it is a boy thing. So you are not alone.

This is normal, my oldest did it too (and still does it when no one is looking). It really isn't that important, they outgrow it. Mostly he is just interested in his body parts and wants to touch. Girls will do it too as they get around that same age. It is part of exploring their world and figuring out differences, etc. Simply tell him not to do it whenever you see him do it and if he does this in public you can have a talk with him about making sure he only does it in private. Like I said, he will grow out of it, it is perfectly normal. If you are concerned that he is doing more than just touching, you can always talk to him about the feelings he is having, but again, it is just part of exploring the world and themselves. When he gets older he will be able to understand when you tell him about those feelings and waiting until you are old enough, but right now he isn't doing anything that all little boys don't do at his age.

This is totally normal and age appropriate. All you need to tell him is that's perfectly OK for him to touch any part of his OWN body, but that we touch private parts in private places such as our bedroom, bathroom etc. You need to emphasize that he is not to allow anyone else to touch him, and if they do he is to tell you immediatly, and that he is not to touch any one else's privates.

M P,
Oh if you find the answer to this question you have got to let me know. I have an 8yo son who does the same thing. It doesn't matter where we are I am constantly telling him to let go or get his hands out of his pants. He doesn't always put his hand in his pants but he sure likes to hang on.

hi there,
it's all perfectly normal.
Here's the link to a Newsweek article " the doctor will see you know" which adresses your concern about toddler sexuality:

http://www.newsweek.com/id/134338

Oh the joys of parenthood, yes? Ha ha...well, my DAUGHTER, yes, a beautiful little GIRL has done the same thing since she was potty-trained at two. Can I tell you, she's now EIGHT?? I actually took her to the doctor a few years ago to make sure she didnt have an infection of some kind, and while trying his best to keep a straight face, he told me she was fine. Kids are motivated by what makes them happy, and they dont understand why it's wrong at this age. We just tell our daughter that she isnt allowed to do that in public or (ew, gross) at the dinner table. We try to remind her without embarrassing her or being too harsh that she should be in her room because it isnt "naughty" but it isnt something to share with others. I hope this helps and please know that you are not alone! :)

Hello M P,

This is very normal,I am a mother of 7, 4 boys and 3 girls, and it's best not to make a big deal out of it..little boys are always playing with it, because they have feeling in it, so do girls but you might not notice them as much, each child is different, one thing you don't want to do is tell the child that it's bad or dirty which could cause damage later on, as long as they know that that is theirs to touch and know one elses! just gently remind him that he can not do that in public because that is his private moment. My son is 7 and he still does it, every so often, we've gotten to were we joke with him and he will laugh, because we don't want to emotionally hurt him...think about it...your husband or boyfriend still touch theirs! and look how old they are....

I think I remember my son doing this at about that age. I also remember babysitting a couple of kids around that age when I was a teenager and they would touch each other. I can even remember liking to touch myself there at that age! It's normal.

We told our son thaat if he wanted to put his hands down his pants he needed to go to his room and do that....yes it does feel good to them, that is why he is doing it.

Hi M P: Yes its very normal. I had two boys,and around 5 years old, they (discovered themselves.)They are more aware of their bodies,at that age.He will also be more aware of the differences between himself and his little sister.This is all normal and all part of maturing.I'm with ignoring it,as well,unless his timing isn't appropriate. I wouldn't want him doing it during dinner or during a sermon at church lol. Don't make it appear dirty or distasteful, just quietly tell him.this is done in the privacy of home.not in public.best of luck to you and your (very normal boy)

Mom of four boys here, and this is absolutely normal. All of mine did it, and the oldest is now 26. It can be a bit concerning, I know, but it is nothing to make a big deal of. A gentle reminder that it is not appropriate in public is all that we ever did, and they all grew out of it.

Yes I Think You Should Stop It My 5 Year Daugther Dose That & Her Dr. Told Me Too Stop It Before She Go Too Big School. & Then Sometime She Wet The Bed. Mother Of A 5 yr old.

It's normal. Just tell your son that private parts are only to be touched in private and he must go into his bedroom or a private place. Remind him when he forgets. Being isolated may decrease the amount of time that he spends in his "hobby".

As a mother of two boys I have run into this situation - luckily for me I had read an article in a magazine that talked about boys and girls touching themselves. The article stated that it is a natural thing and that kids should not feel ashamed to touch themselves but they should be made aware that this is something that is done in private - that one should not touch their private parts in the presence of others. I have raised both of my boys this way - my oldest who is 19 wouldnt even grab himself on the football field after getting a helmet into his private area.

Explain to your son that that area is private and that he's welcome to touch but only in the privacy of his own room. This is TOTALLY normal behavior. It's just common sense that they be curious about them. But, obviously it's concerning to parents when it's happening in public. Most children discover their genitals at some point and that it feels nice to touch them. The danger comes in when we shame them about it. We can create a real psychological issue if we treat them as if what they are doing is shameful or worthy of discipline or punishment. Be matter of fact about it, that their his and he can handle them if he wants, but ONLY ALONE IN HIS ROOM! :-)

My son is 5 also and is constantly putting his hands down his pants. I think it is just something that every boy goes through. I just let him know that it is not appropriate at certain times. I was concerned at first, but now I know it's just natural.

MP

I have older boys that did that and my youngest is 5 now. He grabs himself in public but he no longer puts his hands into his pants. I have had conversations with him that if he is grabbing himself in public that it means that he has to go to the bathroom. When he tells me that he doesn't have to go to the bathroom then I tell then him not to grab himself otherwise I will send him to the bathroom. Usually when I do send him to the bathroom he does go. I think the extra pressure creates a sensation that they feel like they have to play with. I have told him that it is not okay to just grab yourself when we are outside our home. Make sure every thing you say and do are matter of fact. Simply say that he will not be able to come with you on errands or do fun things outside until he learns not to grab himself. When I see him doing it in public I just whisper to him "let's find you a bathroom" and he stops for a while. If he keeps on doing it we go to the bathroom and he needs to try. Don't shame him when you see him doing it. Just tell him that grabbing himself is not done in public and if he wants to talk about it more you can do that in the car or at home. Decency is more easily taught young.

Hope this helps.

Evelyn

Well, just wait until he's 14 - he REALLY won't be able to keep his hands off it. Oye vey - it never ends. And yes, it's totally normal.

Hi - My son is 5 and does the same thing - It's totally normal for boys to do this (look how many men still do this). However you just have to keep reinforcing that they can only do that in private and they eventually stop the public displays. My son just does it now in the morning watching TV (and I make his stop because other people are in the room) and in bed at night (where has his private time). He doesn't usually do it in public anymore. You just have to keep bugging your son and he'll stop. At 5 years old they can understand what is acceptable public behavior. They just get in the habit and automatically do it, so it may take a few weeks to break the habit.

Good luck.

L.

Hi M P

It's totally normal, though uncomfortable for the adults. Just ignore the activity but casually distract him if you can, when you're in public. This is more for your benefit than his.

V.

My youngest (now 7) used to do that all the time. It would drive me crazy because he would even pull on it thru the leg of his shorts.....being in Hawaii he wears shorts everyday. He would even do it at school and he never really was aware that he was doing it until we said something. I basically told him that it's not polite manners to keep touching it and pulling it. It's fine to touch yourself especially if you need to go to the bathroom or cleaning yourself. He still does it a little but a lot less. Now all we do when we notice is remind him to pay attention to his hands when we see him doing it.

Marie-anne :O)

Like everyone says, this is the norm for young boys. Things move around and have to rearanged I guess. I asume he's toilet trained? Just explain that handling yourself is something one does in private like going to the bathroom. Hopefully he doesn't want others to see him doing that anymore. Tell him that you know what he's doing is normal and try not to associate it as something that he has to feel guilty about. Just treat it as a normal part of life that everyone thinks it best to be private about. Tell him others will notice what he's doing and will probably think he should do this in the bathroom. Talking with him openly, and kindly will most likely get you farther than anything else.