Worried I Don't Enjoy My Kids Enough

Sounds completely normal to me.. I have felt this from time to time especially when I have a million things to do and I am exhausted.. Try to get some balance and me time.. Hope this helps..

You are not alone! My almost 3-year-old hardly plays independently so that makes me her playmate. I'm flattered and will look back on it when she's a teen and wants nothing to do with me, but there are times when I do tire of bringing her stuffed animals to life with a script she creates. I do admire her creativity though :-). But no, you are not alone. Sounds like you need some adult stimulation to balance. Sign me up!

You. Are. Perfectly. Normal.

I love my kids, too, but I found them to be extremely tiresome when they were little. All those games with My Little Ponies, all those tea parties, etc. Ugh! They were fun the first few times. After several YEARS of that, it just got boring. I'm just not a "small child" person. Now my kids are 15, 12 and 10 and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE hanging out with them. They are turning into fun, awesome people. And I think one of the reasons we're so close is that I put in the time when they were young, bonding with them and engaging them on their level, boring as it was for me (ok, it wasn't *always* boring, sometimes we did stuff that was really fun, and sometimes THEY did stuff that was truly funny!)

So, yeah, don't worry too much about feeling like you're faking your enthusiasm. But keep doing it anyway, it'll pay off someday.

I can completely relate - there are all kinds of competing demands on your time from kids, home, cooking, cleaning, bills, husband, you may rarely get a chance to have an adult outlet. It's why I went back to work. I found being at home full time made me resent my kids and my husband. Being at home full time does not have the same adult rewards as working outside the home - adult friendships, monetary rewards, professional outlet. Now that I'm back at work full-time-PLUS, it's the opposite - I wish I had less time at work, and a little more time at home, and a little more time on my own for just me. I feel like I'm an AMAZING 8 hrs/day mom but a HORRIBLE 24x7 mom. With daycare, I've picked a great group of adults to help enrich my kids' life, and with my work outlet, I'm able to prioritize what I do with my kids when I'm with them. It's not always perfect, but it's good for us.
I think it's all about finding a balance that works for YOU. If you need an outlet that brings you joy, or even just a break from the kiddos, make it happen! Maybe that means finding a mom's day out at a local daycare or church for a couple hours per week that allows you to have some time for YOU, or to catch up on the things that pull your attention away from your kids. Or maybe it means finding a part time job or volunteer opportunity that is fulfilling in a professional way. Or maybe it means finding some playdates or a MOPS group (Mothers of Preschoolers) that allow you to catch up with a friend while the kids get a change of pace. Or maybe it means recruiting your husband to help with some of the household chores so you can actually enjoy your kids without the growing list of to-dos in the back of your mind.
In any case, don't feel alone! Try something new. And keep an eye on your depression, and get it evaluated if trying some new routines don't help!

I think it's pretty normal. You love your kids, think what they're doing is cute, enjoy playing for a bit and then you've exceeded how many times it's fun. My daughter LOVES to play a version of hide and seek with me which entails hiding under her blanket and having me find her. Fun for me about 2 times, but she could do it hundreds. Playing baby? She could do it all day, and it bores me to death after about 5 minutes. Playing in her room bores me after a few minutes, too. We aren't toddlers or preschoolers, so that's to be expected. I think that as long as you are spending time every day enjoying your kids and that your kids would overall consider you a fun person to be around, you are probably just fine.

TOTALLY normal!!!
Just because you love your kids doesn't mean you have to love and enjoy every. single. thing. they do.
There's nothing wrong with saying, with a big grin, okay guys you keep working on that routine I'm going to finish dinner now, you can show me after!
Chances are they will have moved on to something else by that time anyway.
You know how I most enjoyed my kids? Not by constantly playing with them, or watching them or entertaining them, but by making them a part of my life. Talking to them, reading with them, having them shadow me in the kitchen and garden, teaching them how to do things. But they spent a LOT of time on their own, too, playing and exploring with each other, I was (am) their mother, not their 24/7 playmate, social director or audience, and neither are you, so don't feel like there's something "wrong" with you because there is not :-)

You are totally normal. I just don't think any sane, intelligent person loves every minute of being with kids. Sometimes it is tedious. Cut yourself some slack.

You may also find you enjoy your kids more if you spend some time away from them doing something that makes you happy on a regular basis. Find a sitter or daycare, or leave them with dad or another family and go take a class, see a movie, join a book club, go to the gym, meet friends for dinner, whatever floats your boat. Try to do this at least once a week. I'm guessing you will be happy to see your kids when you get back, and knowing that you have time scheduled for yourself makes it easier to tolerate those moments that are less than great.

Good luck!

I can totally relate to what you're saying, it especially applies to when you're the primary caretaker of little kids.

I was never much of a "player", didn't like pretending with my kids, it just didn't feel natural. I've also sat through a few less than riveting "shows" in my day. My advice for you is to start cultivating interests in them that you do enjoy and that you can continue to enjoy together far into the future.

I love literature so I have always read aloud to my girls and find this a great bonding time we all enjoy. Same for gardening, creating things, cooking/baking, spending time in nature and visiting museums. Those are MY (and my husbands) interests and now they are my kids interests too. As they grow there are more and more opportunities to incorporate more mature activities into your family life.

You may have to sit through some mind numbing performances, you are showing them you care just by being present. Before long you'll be taking them to plays and maybe if you keep fostering their interests you'll be watching them participate in real productions in the future.

Seeing my oldest in her first high school play this Fall made all the hours of watching from the couch worth it.

No time for guilt, show me the Mom who doesn't feel that way sometimes and I'll show you a big, fat LIAR.

Hi, I wonder the same things. I was just complaining to someone yesterday on why do kids need a whole two weeks out of school during the holidays......LOL

Cleaning and dusting can wait for tomorrow,
For babies grow up we learned to our sorrow,
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.

I have this on a plaque above my buffet next to pictures of my grandchildren. The oldest one started middle school this year and the 2nd starts next year. Wow, it seems like yesterday I was rocking their parents!!

I think you need to find a Mom's group or friends to go out with once or twice a month. Dinner and conversation with friends, kids home with dad can refresh you in so many ways.

Your words echo my thoughts perfectly.

That is why I was always on the go with my kids. If we sat around at home it was tedious and boring. I took them places like the zoo, the museum, theYMCA, the bowling alley, the playground or a playgroup where we would all be entertained, or I would have a chance at adult conversation or at least fresh air and a change of scenery.

I could have written this. My 6 year old recently made up a dance for me. Sorry but there was nothing to it and it was LONG. OMG. She wanted to do it again. I couldn't fake enthusiasm again!! I felt kind of bad. Maybe we're both wrong but you're not alone. I've also wondered many times how some people find some things that strike me as kind of boring so joyful and I just don't know. Fortunately, most moms I know seem to feel the way you and I do so I don't feel too badly. I wish I was a mom who thought every little thing was amazing but i don't. Doesnt mean I don't love them SOOOO much. But I figure everyone is different. Moms have their areas of strength and weaknesses too... I do try to capture moments though. ie: our children dancing is so cute so a snapshot in our heads is something to hold onto. Doesn't mean I don't find 10 continuous minutes of it boring though...

All I can say is.... I am jealous. I work full time. I would love to spend more than an hour in the morning and a few hours in the evening with my 4yo and 1yo. I loved my 2 week vacation over the holidays and wished it was more.
You are most likely taking your time for granted, because you know you have it. Easy to do. Remember us working moms that would love to be with our kids wiping their lunch mess of their mouths, walls, floors, etc. than at work while strangers take care of our babies.
good luck.

Being a 24/7 mom is 24 freaking 7!

It's amazing to me that some working mothers just don't get it. We must always remember the grass is not greener. Ya know? Yes, it's great to have time with your children. BUT you are MORE than just a parent! Don't lose sight of that. I struggle myself cuz my free moments are consumed by chores and school work. But there is only so much block building and such that an adult can do! And when you literally never see other adults... It can be overwhelming and lonely.

Winter sucks! :( I'm stuck inside and BORED!

But when this passes I will be taking my girls out tons. To the zoo, museum, park, store, wherever!

Right now my oldest runs around the house screaming. And then the baby copies her. Oh great! Time for Mampedia! :)

Hi, Mama:

First of all, you need a schedule.

Put in a time that is convenient for you and the children.

Get a appointment book from: www.ataglance.com
with 3 columns and put in the time that you can enjoy your
children everyday. Let them know what time is there time.

Good luck.
D.

Just to offer some perspective. I am a FTWM, sometimes when on a conference call, I find myself drifting off and thinking about the need to dust. Mind wanders when you are not fully engaged.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

You're definitely not alone. Plus, the feelings are magnified when the kids are sick, when you and/or hubby are having a bad day, or when the kids pick on each other. Dishes and laundry are tedious chores which doesn't help. Trying to be "on" 24/7 is exhausting - especially when mom is sleep deprived to begin with. It's hard to get out, but force yourself when you can. (I'm an older mom with chronic pain, so I know it is difficult. But worth it.) I'm where you are - wishing I could be "more fun" for them but not having the energy for so. much. repetition.
Hugs, and good luck!!
=)

I think you are totally normal and anyone who doesn't admit that their kids irritate them at times, especially SAHMs, are just not saying it but they are feeling it. You're just more honest than most.

I am a grandmother raising my granddaughter. I now look back on raising my daughter and realize that I focused too much on THINGS and didn't take the time to "stop and smell the roses." As a result, I feel like I missed so much quality time with my daughter. Of course, when I was raising her, I was a single parent so EVERYTHING was my responsibility. I things I THOUGHT were important, were really not so much.

So even if you have to fake your enthusiasm, it's okay. The point is, you're sitting there and in 30 years, you'll remember that you took the time to sit there and you'll be glad you did.

ETA: Princessmamma, what is it that working mothers don't get? You've stumped me!