Feeling Guilty for Feeling Bored!

I think it's totally normal. I've felt the same way at times, but I always come around to realizing that things are just fine and that I'm not so "stale." It's important to find something that you can enjoy at home, even if it's something you only get to a few times a week. Reading or writing, art or some sort of puzzle...or some sort of charity work you can do from home. Maybe try to find a local MOMS Club. Bottom line: I know what you're going through; I've been there...and I think those feelings will pass. They did for me. So feel better. It'll all be okay!

Totally normal. It will not always be this way. Great that you have work you enjoy - make sure when you are there that you are 100% into it and really focused (i.e. not feeling guilty about being away from him.)

Also, do things that you enjoy as well, and your enthusiasm will spill over and engage your son.

Of course you adore him! DON'T feel guilty. Put that energy into coming up with more creative outings and maybe with another mom and baby! Reach out to someone else who may be feeling the same way.

Hello R.,
I know how you feel. I have a one year old who is very active and I love it but it is difficult to keep him entertained. His favorite thing to do though is play in the water in our back yard. I have a slipping slide for him that has a pool at the end, it has two lanes so he can crawl all over or walk all over and it shoots water up in the air like a sprinkler. I got it at wal-mart. It would keep him entertained all day if I would let him.

B.
www.MoreForMyBaby.com

This is totally normal!! You are busy but you don't have anything that keeps your mind busy. When I had two little girls 15 months apart, both in the baby/toddler stage, the thing that kept me happy was joining the local Moms Club. I even did a co-president thing for a while and loved every minute of it. I started a playgroup within the club, and those women are still my friends! Check into it - if there's something like that in your area, it can be a sanity saver!

i wouldnt beat yourself up over it. this is something new to you and you are still adjusting. i am a mommy of a boy who is 22 months and it was really hard for me because i was always busy taking care of my baby boy. not that i am venting but my hubby is great but i was breastfeeding and he really couldnt do much. i did a lot of things that i wanted to do and took my son with me. if i wanted to go shop or run some errands or whatever i took my son and made him apart of it. i think that as long as you are involving him thats all that matters. you dont have to go and do something everyday. and of course it gets a little boring at times. we are adults and we dont sit and play all day for hours and hours like our sons can. i think that it is normal. i would just try to add more things you like to do during the week. and make sure you let you be you at the same time as you are a mom. it will be more enjoyable. hope this helps.

I don't think you have anything to be ashamed of. Becoming a mom, and having your entire life turned upside-down is overwhelming! Unless you were around kids on a daily basis before, you have no clue what the days are like, as you probably led a primarily adults-only life! And there is no way to prepare for it while your pregnant---period. My oldest son is now 7, and when I had him I went from working full-time in a hospital, to being an at-home mom. Bored doesn't EVEN begin to describe it! I would say that it was really depressing at first. Beside that, he was born in December and then we lived in a snowy climate, so even the park was out of the question! So believe when I say you're definitely not alone with how you feel.

I now have a 2 year-old boy also, and things are very different the second time around. I've learned that as much as I want to stimulate my son's interest and keep him active, I can't constantly run to the park, have play dates, and go on field trips for him. We have to be practical and get the work done. It's the daily chores that get things done, and keeps him happy! Really, he accompanies me to the stores, where he loves the bright packaging and we work on vocabulary. He loves to carry in the bags from the car with just a couple of things in it. We hit Home Depot and pick out plants that he helps plant (he loves to dig and get dirty) and water. While I'm doing yard work he'll kick around the soccer ball or help me dump clippings into the trash can. And he now has his own wheel-barrow, gloves and tools. He'll also help collect dirty clothes in a special basket for the laundry and he tries like heck to throw it into the washer that looms over his head!

I've found that by make these activities fun for him, it makes it less monotonous for me, too. Sure we enjoy trips to the park and the zoo when we can, but it's making the everyday chores an event that clears away the boredom, and really has been a learning experience for us both. And showing him the importance of the everyday chores now will hopefully help him respect a good work ethic later!!

I'm not sure if I can say your situation is abnormal. You didn't say how old you were, which may play a factor in how you are feeling. Sometimes when you are older & have been working for awhile and before you had your baby,you become a custom to that life style. You had your own routine and now the routine has changed. Having a baby can be overwelming at times. At any age, to have a baby is a big adjustment. It is a lot of work caring for a baby. They don't come with a manual so, therefore, you are learning like they are learning. It is understandable that you may feel bored! Your an adult, he is a baby.... You will find that you are way advance for the toys he has.LOL! What I am trying to say, at his age, exploying at the park is great! You have been there, done that.......Your advance! You may not realize it, but he is taking in everything he sees,Everything! He is like a sponge, soaking everything in. Try doing things to explore in the park and watch him grow as time goes by. Once he starts responded to the things you showed him, your gonna want to feed him more just to get the satisfaction of being amazed on what you are teaching him and how he is responding to it! I am a mother of 3 and have basicly been fortunate to be able to stay at home. I couldn't see myself having someone taking care of my babies better than myself, so, I decided to be a stay at home mom. I can remember back (28 yrs.)my eldest, in the beginning would cry when I would left her in the day care while I was in the gym. But, the sitter should of been more attentive and occupied her enough to let me enjoy my workout. That is what they are there for and that is why the Gym has a day care facility.It is natural to check on them through the window, but it's taking a chance of them seeing you, and then the crying starts again. They say by playing pee-pie is a game to teach them that you will be back. Play at home and then when you take off, Say pee-pie when leaving and arriving. Can't say it will work for everyone, but is worth a try.You are the main person they see everyday. The teacher! Your baby has trust in you like no other and you want to keep that trust but they have to learn to trust you as well. Reassure them that you will be back by saying, Mommie will be back, like when you go to the kitchen, bathroom etc. Then make a point to say Mommie is back! The more you leave them the older they get, the better it will be. Maybe start leaving for about 15 minutes at a time and build up. Keep in mind every child is different, just as you and I.I am sure your husband is crazy about the baby, and they need time to bond together too. This is a good time for you to have time for yourself. Also, children learn at a very young age to manipulate. Be consistant!!!! Your the mom! But when you say no, and they ask why....don't say because I'm the mom" Communication is the way of life! They need to understand the reason behind the NO answer!As my number 3 arrived(18yrs now), later in her years, I started working....Oh My God! It was wonderful!I was an adult! I was a person who was feeling good because I was doing something that made me feel useful. A self of belonging. As your kids get older as mine has, they tend not to need you as much! Ouch! That's when it gets sad. When you go to work, do you feel at ease? If so, that's ok! It doesn't mean you don't love your husband or your baby! You need your time too. Not only, to go to work, do something for yourself! You have to make yourself happy or there will be problems later. Don't feel quilty for doing something for yourself! And certainly don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing for yourself. You also need to make time a lone with your husband. Date! Date! Date! That will keep the love strong......Trust Me! I have been married a long time, going on 30 years. I have a wonderful husband and have three great kids and wouldn't of done anything different raising them. Now, I'm not saying that we are the Clever Family, and that I haven't been on that roll a coaster ride. I have come to realize that everyone life is basicly the same. We as women understand each other better then men, because we are different then men period.
In closing, I must say, my baby will be graduating soon from high school and soon off to college in another state. The bond is very strong between us. It has been a nice ride to be a mother at home and has been very rewarding! I thank God that I was able to be at home to guide my children first hand. I know there are mothers out there that have to work. To have two incomes to survive. I took a lot of sacrifes for my children,but it is a gift to me that will last a life time. To see them strong, brave, educated and a good head on their shoulder to make the right choices in life. I would like to think the reason behind that was because of me. To read on paper from your daughter, "My Mom Is My Hero, she is the one that I know that I can depend on" is worth all the years of a stay at home mom. I have a grandson now... and guess what? Yep, I am at home taking care of him almost everyday! I thought I was going to retire soon, but here I go again!Never thought, I could love another baby that I didn't give birth to as much as I love him! But didn't think at my age I would be doing the mom thing again! Being a Stay at Home Mom is my profession, a profession that doesn't have a retirment plan. I enjoyed my job! But I know, it doesn't stop at 18 years. I continue to do for my children for the love I have for them. Best of Luck and enjoy your baby, because they grow up so fast! But you MUST give yourself "ME" time!
God Bless you and your family:)

I COMPLETELY know how you feel! I have a VERY active 18 month old. In fact, by the time I got home from a short trip to Walmart last night I had to have some space from him. He drove me crazy not wanting to sit in the basket but also not wanting to hold my hand when he got down. Then he wanted to throw stuff out of the basket and have me give it back so he could throw it again. So I know all about that. I don't get to stay home with him but I did watch my niece during the day until she was two. And I absolutely loved watching her, I still miss it and I wish I could be home with my son. The only problem was that I felt like my mind needed some exercise. That is probably your problem as well. What I suggest is maybe an online class (if you can find time for even that). I also used to take my niece out in the backyard and read while she played. That way I could use my brain while being with her. I don't know if you like to read or not but that's something. But even if none of these work for you, you're not alone in feeling this way.

I think your feelings are normal - that is I how I felt about 40 years ago with my first child. It is good that you have a part time job. The best thing I can think to suggest is to find a friend in about the same circumstances as you are in. Then you can go to the park - or where ever - and do it together. I think you are lonely as well as guilty and bored and adult company and conversation might help you. I hope this suggestion helps you.

R.,

It is quite normal to feel yourself in a rut.One idea would be to take your boy to the library story hour. He will get some interaction with other kids and you can interact with other moms. Another idea is that you could try little art and craft projects together. My 16 month old loves to color and glue, but you have to keep an eye open so he doesn't stick it in his mouth. Finger paints are fun, but a little (understatement) messy. Read stories and do songs with motions (itsy bitsy spider, I'm a little tea pot)
When you go for a walk point out the flowers and the grass and trees. Your walks will be less boring and this is also a good way to learn colors and increase vocabulary. I hope this helps. God bless you and your family
M. K.

yes, it's noraml....i feel the same way at times....but i remind myself that this time in our child's life is so short, and i want to cherish these moments. try mixing it up a little by changing the activity...and find mew mommy friends to do the activities with...there's "mom's club" and "mops". look the both up for a chapter in your area.

keep trying the YMCA. it might take 15 or 20 times but eventually he will decide that he wants to stay and engage in the other kids! have you tried staying long enough to get him engaged with a toy or another child before you slip out of there? I used to work at the Y and sometimes I would help out in the kids area, some of the workers are less patient than others! ask to please try to be patient with your son once or twice to try to get him past the crying, so you can work out and he can play, after all that's why you pay your membership dues! If that doesn't work go to the head honcho and ask if you should cancel your membership or can they try to get your son past his abandonment anxiety issues so that your membership will work out for all concerned. by the way , You have to willing to let him cry it out too! no one will die from it I promise! doesn't he go into daycare when you are at work? the Y should be no different, you have to have some time to yourself and it's good for him to learn how to entertain himself a little too. I had an only child and he had to learn how to be his own best friend! We were remodeling a big house one room at a time and he spent a lot of time in a high chair in the room with us (for his own protection). He always played for hours growing up, entertaining himself. he is a happy well adjusted 22 yr old fighting for our freedom in Iraq. hope you find the help you need

Join a moms group or MOPS program. I know of plenty in the Austin area. Not only will your son find friends his age to play with, but you will meet new people you can talk with who probably share your feelings. My son is the same age as yours and separation anxiety is very common. Why not take him with you into the pool at the y? My son loves the water and it tires him out for a great nap!
Maybe your feeling of being bored or unfulfilled is just you wanting to feel accomplished at something? Perhaps you can learn a new skill like sewing or cake decorating. Maybe take your son to the children's library reading time....they do crafts and other fun things. You can find your cake decorating books there, too! :) You can find recipes for edible playdough so you and your son can play,sculpt,eat!
You can visit different parks so the one you go to all the time doesn't get boring. Search for a childrens museum nearby. They are full of fun. The one in Austin has a tunnel slide my kids love and a great toddler play area....lots of hands on activities.
Have you introduced your son to coloring yet? He will just scribble, but kids love it! Just watch he doesn't try to eat them. If he is too active, teach him to do summersaults, logrolls. We have such fun with our son rolling all over the floor. When he is good at rolling, take him to a park that has a great hill and roll down it!
Hang in there, mom, you are not alone.

K. -

Sounds like your son is at the age of seperation anxiety anyway so it will be difficult to leave him. Try a Mothers Day out program which are sometimes in churches. All that you are feeling is normal and nothing I haven't felt myself. My youngest son was very active and we couldn't go out to eat or to grocery stores either. When he didn't develop speech like he should I had him evaluated and discovered he has a Sensory Integration disorder. He's now 7 and the greatest little soul but man those years were hard! It helped when I had other mom's to talk to or meet up with. Maybe you can start a "mom group" at the park or in your town. As my mom says, this too shall pass. You sound like a very devoted, loving mom and he's a lucky little guy!

Hi R.,

I have a super-active kid that I adore too, and I was VERY bored during parts of her early childhood. I tried reading, which I had thought I would be able to do when she was a baby, but I got so absorbed in the novels I was reading that i didn't shift her from breast to breast right and screwed up my breastfeeding! So I switched to tv, and got so attached to certain tv shows, which became my friends, that one day when she was sick I didn't want to take her to the doctor until after my favorite show was done!! I know I sound like a lunatic, but being the mother of a young child is notoriously lonely work, especially when one is outside of any kind of community, and I totally was. As my daughter has grown, things have gotten SO much better. She herself is a lot more fun to spend time with -- even though she is still a handful, she can make me laugh now, ask interesting questions and understand the answers, and get the same kind of pleasure I do out of, for instance, watching ducks courting. And for me, being in a full-time job is a mental and emotional life-saver. I am just not cut-out to be a stay-at-home mom, and when I see other women on the list express joy over being SAHMs, I rejoice in the marvelous diversity of human beings -- because honestly, if I'd stayed home until now (my daughter is six), we'd have been in the headlines by now. One thing that amused me is my husband always talked about it being ideal to have a parent stay at home with our baby before we had one, and as my career allowed for me to take some time off, I stayed home for the first nine months, coming quietly unglued. And I do not mean, by the way, that i didn't love my daughter with every atom of my being. I loved her and love her now so much it hurts. When I am away from her for more than a few hours, I physically yearn to get back to her. So none of this is about love or caring, but about how one can stand to spend one's days. It may also have to do with my being 40 when I got pregnant and already having worked for well over a decade in a career I love and that is very stimulating and satisfying to me. Anyway, I stayed with the baby because I could, but once my husband, who had been so gung ho about maximizing childcare with a parent in the home, and had even talked about home schooling, became self-employed, I was amused to see how EXTREMELY averse he was to any talk of childcare in the home or certainly home schooling! It was rather comical to me, how easy it was for him to paint this idyllic picture of a child having all the benefit of always being with one or the other parent and secure in their own home as long as the OTHER parent was the one who was supposed to supply all of this detailed attention!!! (and be criticized for all the ways the results were not to his liking!) Anyway, for me, childcare is the key to a happy home life -- I read studies or just editorials sometimes claiming children do best when they are cared for at home, but I just can't see how it would be true in my case, where lack of intellectual and social stimulatiion rapidly led to ugly fights with my husband, anxiety, depression, and the decision that spanking was okay if I couldn't get my daughter to behave in any other way, a decision that was a complete break with my fundamental child-rearing beliefs and the product of my lack of parenting skills -- skills that, as long as I was home with my daughter without a break, were actually deteriorating rather than improving.

Once I got back to work and shared childcare more equally with my partner, my childcare skills improved, the depression dissipated, and my time with my daughter became what it should be -- a mixture of fun and joy and hard work and self-discipline. When I was "on call" around the clock, I still had periods of fun and joy with my little one, but I just didn't have the inner resources to be self-disciplined or to really exert myself in the ways that childcare requires -- the mental picture I have of my inner, emotional position was of someone crouched in a corner with her arms over her head in an effort to just fend off the next blow. I became quite dysfunctional.

Anyway, I think boredom is normal, and, sadly, so are more severe psychological problems. For me, getting any and all support was both necessary and, over time, extremely helpful. That meant not only getting back to work so I had some space away from my family and didn't feel oppressed, but also therapy, lunches out with friends, exercise (I did find that swimming WITH my daughter was the one activity that was just as good for me with her as on my own -- that became a really important part of both my and her weekly regimine), dates with my husband and weekly lunches out to see how we were both feeling about the division of labor and our daughter's overall condition.

Sorry if this is more than you ever wanted to know -- when I started to write about boredom, I realized unexpectedly how much more severe than boredom my mental state was during the first year or so. I certainly hope that for you, it's just a question of some boredom that can be resolved with some extra lunches with friends!

All best wishes!
M.

I can't tell you if it's normal, but I can tell you that I have felt that way. I work full time and take care of my son in the evening while my husband works. Especially this winter it was dark for most of the time I was with him, which made activities hard to find. I was definitely feeling bored and restless.

One thing I found that helped was signing up for a class for him. We go to a Little Gym class once a week now for 45 minutes each class. It doesn't sound like much, but it breaks up the routine enough that I enjoy the rest of my time home more. There are lots of classes out there like music classes at the JCC or Gymboree/Little Gym classes that don't cost too much.

Another thing I find handy is my Ergo Baby carrier. I can wear my son on my back and go for walks or do housework. He enjoys the closeness and the better view, and I enjoy having him safely contained on my back. Also, it's great exercise having 26 extra pounds on me while I work!

The last thing I've found helpful is giving myself a break. I try not to watch much TV with my son, because I know it's not great for him, but I've started allowing myself one show in the evening. It helps to break up the evening to get to check in on my favorite TV characters.

If nothing else, just remember that this too will pass. Before you know it he'll be talking and way more interactive!

I feel your pain! I have a 16 month old and work part-time as well. On my days off I feel guilty doing housework or shopping, because I feel I should use those days for "quality time" with my daughter. I love her dearly, but it is hard to balance everything, isn't it? Have you tried the the Children's Museum? http://www.austinkids.org/ It is fun and different, and they have special events for children under three. It is pricey, so not an every day thing, but a fun change of pace!

R.,
Being bored/unfulfilled is normal at this stage, because you give and give. Do not feel guilty for wanting more for yourself. Jack needs a Mom that feels fulfilled in her life. I am glad you have a part time job where you can talk to adults, but you need time away that is just for yourself, to fill up to recharge. Going to the park is great, but invite other Moms with you. Have another Mom go with you to the Y, where both children are in the daycare. Maybe Dad can watch the Son while you go and have a message done on a Saturday or have a girls night out. Jack needs to bond with Dad too. My advice to you is to recharge your battery so you can be a better MOM.
Hope this helps, LD

Try StrollerFit. It was a great tool for me when my daughter was young. The support of other moms was helpful and there were also activities planned after exercise and mommy night activities that help keep you sane.
I have a 13 month old firecracker who keeps me busy but I always remind myself that she did not ask to be here so I entertain her as much as possible but I also am learning that not taking care of ME is also not taking care of her!
I am currently working full time b/c staying at home was driving me NUTS but I cherish the time when we are together.!!!

Well, You are not alone. I am a mom of four and even though you feel busy all the time it doesn't give you "Me" time. YOu should check out playgroups in the area, they have a lot of great ones you can find online. A lot of times women do lose themselves when they get married and start a family. We as women get wrapped up in the daily chores and duties of being a mother and a wife we forget to take the time to be women. Take 30 minutes a day and do something just for you. It will really make a difference.

K. Haynes
The MOM Team
Moms helping Others Work From Home
____@____.com
www.mykidsaremyeverything.com

Dear R.,

moms alone with their babies is a fairly new phenomenon in human civilization. The original setup (think hunter-gatherer societies, but also villages and farms where much of the work was outside, and where families were extended) was that all the moms worked together while taking care of the children at the same time. Now we live in nuclear families where the dad leaves all day (often) and with fewer children (so mom has no help with the childcare). And no female companionship, and few chances for children to play with each other.
Of course we get bored! Babies can't talk about anything interesting, no matter how cute and adorable.
My attempts at solving this problem has been 1. always bring a book or magazine (children don't need to be interacted with constantly. As long as we are watching to make sure they don't get hurt, they can be enriched by exploring things on their own) 2. Seek other mothers to meet with as often as you can 3. Think about daycare 4. go places with the child that interest you. Museums, zoos, theater (Miller outdoor theater has great shows that are free and family friendly-my son used to be mesmerized by some of the musical and dance numbers and I got to enjoy them too). 5. Avoid confining the child in a stroller too much (at the zoo, for instance, I used to let my son run around as much as possble where he wanted to go--who cared if he didn't want to see all the animals I had planned? Sometimes he would spend half an hour with a stick he found in the grass, and that's when I pulled out my magazine/book). Running and walking of course has lots of benefits for their fitness, and it tires them out so that you can enjoy their nap later. And they are not as fidgety and cranky as they get when they have to sit in the stroller too long.

So, there! I was still bored often, but I survived... The most important of all of these, though, for me was to seek out other mothers. Also, the phase you're in might be the most difficult one if he is just learning how to walk--then you really have to be alert all the time, and run after him since he always looks like he's going to fall over! that might make the options above difficult to put in practice, but I think # 4 and 5 are really vital at this time.

good luck!

G.

When I read your situation, I automatically thought of myself when my boy was that old. He is now 18 years old and he is still VERY active and he keeps me on my feet. Sometimes I want to strangle him and sometimes I just want to love him. I Love my son very much and would do just about anything for him but I am also a human being with my wants and needs. When we stopped doing the things we like doing, its natural to feel sad and bored. You are now adjusting to a big change in your life. From now on your life wont be the same....so you need to find time for your needs and wants. I belief that every mom needs a break no matter how much you love your children. Dont feel guilty either for taking time for yourself....Good luck!

My son is 16 months old and is also VERY attatched to me. His name is Jackson..weird, must be a Jack thing. :) Anyways- Dont feel bad for feeling bored. Moms need breaks too. I love my son to death but at 7 months old, after being out of work and school since becoming pregnant with him, things got a littl monotonous. I needed to get away for my own sanity. Now I am in school FT and work PT and he is in daycare for about 5 hours a day. It has given me the opportunity to breathe and to be a better mom all around.

Not saying that you need to put him in daycare by anymeans...but you need to have some you time. It's essential. Happy mommy=happy baby. Good Luck with everything!

I know how you feel. I joined a women's Bible study at my church. I was able to have meaningful conversation with other women in my same situation, occassionally go out to eat with them and form some friendships.

I had 2 kids 1 yr apart and my oldest was extremely active. We still did things like McDonalds and the occasional resturant, but not with other people. The kids can't "be good" for you to have adult conversations, so you have know you are going to be watching the kids together or just plan adult trips another day. But through that they did learn about eating out to some degree.

you take crayons, crackers, cheerios, a couple of toys. You let them munch and play while you wait for the food. You feed them off your plate--I ordered quesadilla/nachos/cheese enchilada. And you know that as soon as the food is gone...you leave. ;-) We only ate out once a month or so because that is all our wallet and our sanity could handle. But it was well worth it. LOL

I also did crafts. I did cross stitch while they napped and did painting or something I could include them in as they got older. ;-)

Oh and as for leaving him. Some kids dont' do well in certain environments. I taught preschool and left my kids some. I found mine did better and many do...if you leave them alone. A greeting and introduction is neccessary and then distraction with toys, then letting the child alone to assimilate himself into the group as they move the group into different activities. Mine did better with structured play. So while he may cry at the Y, he may not cry at mother's day out or some other type of setting. Don't give up, but try some different things until you find what works for both of you. And for what it is worth all kids that have only been with mom have a period where they begin to learn to seperate from her for short periods of time. My tips would be to make sure you always give him a hug, tell him in firm kind voice that you will be back at lunch time/after nap time/in an hour. So while he does not understand that time frame, he will begin to learn that you say goodbye but you ALWAYS come back. He will begin to associate his day in segments and events seperate from you. This helps him learn to be left for short periods and be totally comfortable with it. ;-)

Good luck

Romona,
I understand exactly how you feel. This isn't uncommon at all. My daughter is 18 months old and I stay at home with her and my husband works. It does get boring! I love her to death and I absolutely LOVE the time we spend together, but I do tend to want to do something more interesting. If there is anyway, I would say join a play group with other mothers in your area. You need some adult interaction. That way there are rotating ideas of different and fun things to do each week. There's this place called Texas Jumping Bean. It's supposed to be a lot of fun.
Also, plan a girls night out once or twice a month and leave your son home with hubby. I've started doing that once a month, but it has made a HUGE difference. Just getting out and feeling like I'm an adult again and doing more adult things is really rejuvenating.
Also, if you want help starting a play group, I live in North Austin. Let me know if that's something you'd like to do.
-F.

My daughter was the same high energy level. It may sound silly, but what helped me was to take her to those little music or gym classes. It made her happy and gave a bit more structure to our days and I looked forward to interacting with adults!
Try one out and see if it is something that you would like to do. I was suprised that I actually liked it....I think because she liked it so much, I enjoyed it as well.
Good luck!

Give yourself much grace--you're normal, and it sounds like you're a great mommy!

No real advice, just a simple little activity my toddlers have all loved at this time of year. Grab a basket of empty plastic Easter eggs, hide them and let him gather them. I did this today with my 18-month old and she had such fun! Of course she was watching as I hid the eggs the first several times, so she caught on very quickly. We have hidden empty eggs hundreds of times at our house and they never seem to get tired of finding them. It's really fun when the big ones are old enough to hide the eggs for the little ones.

God bless you, R.! You're doing important work!

I don't think your boredom has anything to do with your lack of love for Jack at all. What it has to do with is lack of challenge. It is not much of a challenge for you to do toddler games (esp over and over again!) I know. You can relish in the challenges your child gives you everyday...his great level of energy for one! Soon Jack will want to learn to read, and sing new songs and keeping him busy will keep you busy! Find a mother's group with kids Jack's age so you both can share and make friends. FWIW, I got super bored with my second girl, like I wasn't already bored with my first? I had to endure 8 years of Barney the Dinosaur and do all the same girl-y things all over again! Trust me, more and more interesting challenges are headed your way. Enjoy this time!

I think it very normal. You should try to do a girl night at least 1 a week with other moms that need to get out like you. I am not sure what area you live in, but in the Cypress are there is a gym (Cypress Academy)and they have a Mommy and Me class. Maybe this would be good for the both of you and this way you can get a little exercise as well. Hope this helps. Everything will fall in to place, just always be positive and positive things will happen.

Hi R.. You shouldn't feel bad. I think all moms feel like this sometimes....I know I have. We moved away from all of our friends and family almost a year ago and its been very hard on us. Even though my 3 kids keep my hopping there is days where I do feel bored.

Do you have friends that have kids?? How about doing something with another couple??

My biggest thing here is that most people only speak spanish and we dont speak spanish at all so I haven't made any friends at all.

Also if he is crying every time you leave him that is completely normal. Children at this age are very very attached to mommy or daddy. My son is 21 months old and even still when I leave he cries for me.

R.,
I think that you are feeling like I did staying home with my daughter after years in the workplace and "grown up" world. I would suggest joining a Mom's Club in your area if you have one or getting together with other moms and children of similar ages. I think that we get "bored" always doing what our kids can do because we did that already and mastered those skills so, where we can appreciate our children's learning and growing adventures, we don't want to always relive them ourselves. Letting my daughter play with other "little" people gave me a break as well as giving her peers to grow and learn with. Try it and see, you may just find the satisfaction you are missing in your time together.

Hope this helps,
C.

I think its completly normal to be tired of the same park every day. Any one would get board doing the same things over and over and soon your little one will get board too. Try going to childrens musumes or a gym for little ones. Also places like Chucky Cheese get pricy but once in a while he can go nuts there and get some of that energy out. A bike ride with him on the back. Summer is comming up and swimming would be fun for you both. Hope some of these ideas work. Leave him with dad and go re-boot for yourself. Most people get a break but new moms have to take them for themselves!

I have a 23 month old and I am currently a part-time stay at home mom...I can relate..I get bored too! I also take him to the park and on walks..I have also started going to the Texas State Aqui, Museum, The Lex and other fun things. I can say that C.C. doesnt have many fun things..but when we are done doing all that we come home and just hang out. He is starting to talk more and saying ABC's and 123's so that helps. I truly enjoy watching him do things that he has never done. They say to treasure these times...I have been writing in a journal and getting pic scrap books together...This time can also be for you too....When he sleeps anyway...It is totally normal for you to be bored. You are used to doing and going when you pleased and now you must tote another little life with you. It will pass and things will start to get even more exciting. ALso try to look at things positivly and plan your day and activities...good luck and enjoy

Good morning, R., When my girls were that age and a little older one of the most fun things we did was go walking in the rain. (My neighbors thought I was crazy !) Everyone had their own set of rainware-boots, coat,hat and umbrella. The only rule was that you couldn't go in water deeper that the top of your boots. It's just too much fun to jump and splash legally.
You REALLY need some 'me' time everyday. Even is it's just sitting on the front porch contemplating nature while the little one takes a nap. It's good for him as well as you. Just as you and your husband need some 'us' time every week.
The other responses are really good too esp joining the YWCA/YMCA, the local library. I'm not sure where you live but the Harris County Library System has great programs for kids of all ages.
Thought: if you're bored going to the park everyday, he probably is too.
Have fun and keep us posted on your progress. Hugs, S.

I feel the same way and my son is extremely active which makes it difficult to do certain planned activities (like the Little Gym, music class, ect). I am a firm believer in treating yourself!!! I have been working out early in the morning before my husband goes to work and LOVE my style/fashion/gossip magazines! I love my space and freedom but I do love my son more:)!!!

My son also very active. But if you do not take your son to a resturant and/or shopping he will not know how to act when he is older. You have to show him and ignore the people who stare, which they will I get it all the time. In a resturant, I bring toys or right 'GoldFish' deck of cards, but when he doesn't sit down and I take him to the bathroom and we have a little chat, sometimes a swat on the butt. If the behavior continues we just leave, that is at a resturant or any other place, like the mall, the park, grocery store.

There are many Mom day out programs and play groups that you can join that you both can have an outlet. He can play with other little kids and you can have a adult conversation with other mothers. This helps your sanity, you need and deserve it.

Don't feel guilty. It's normal. Although you love your child, he isn't very good at adult conversation.

You and your husband need to spend some time every week maintaining your relationship, without your precious child. Get a a babysitter.

At that age they need stimulation everyday...
- go to the park (try different parks), zoo, childrens museum, play areas at the malls, McDonalds, Chick-fil-A. Join a moms club that may have other activities. Check you librbry for toddler sing a longs and storytimes. Put a sandbox in the back yard.

This is normal! Find a local moms club and join it. Google MOMS Club Internationl. Good LucK!

Hi Romona!
I am S. and I don't have any children of my own, but I have babysat like a million times before, I know how it is to get bored with the same old same old, so my suggestion is to take them to some source of water(when it's cold even a bath will do) and put on there goggles (you need a pair too preferably both pairs should have snorkels) and just put the face in, it's so cute to see them so interested in a minnow or even some ordinary grass that the water overlaps! And the kids always loved it! Also if it happens to be raining and you have a marine science museum in your area or even a lil distance out of the way, it so much fun to see all the various aquariums. And the Children will be in awe of the turtles and seals and penguins! Just a suggestion but honestly museums and kids mesh so well together it's scary, like they know some secret that we don't! well hope that helps and have fun!
S. S

Have you thought about a play group, with other moms with toddlers? That would give you an outlet too. To be with other women with children around your childs age. Chedk with a local church, put a note on a bulletin board, some Starbucks, some stores, have these.

I felt the same way with my 17 month old son. I looked into Storytime, which are usually in the mornings at various libraries around Austin/Round Rock/Cedar Park. I found this list in the Austin Family magazine (free). There's also the Children's Museum downtown that always has activities and storytime. There's also free live music at noon @ City Hall, or music at Ruta Maya Coffee for children. Austin has so many events for familys! My son loves to be around other kids and is full of energy, so maybe you're son needs to be around other kids. This will allow him to explore and not be so attached to you. If you can, have your husband take care of your son one weekday evening or weekend so you can take a few hours for yourself. A lot of the boredom for me was because I didn't do anything for myself. Once I was able to get away for a little while, without feeling guilty, I felt much more relaxed and complete. Moms need to NOT forget about themselves. Hope this advice helps. Good luck!

Don't feel guilty! That is totally normal. I have 2 kids and still feel this way sometimes. I think it just comes with the territory of staying home with our little ones. Try to find a play group so that while your little one is playing you can enjoy some adult conversation. My youngest is active as well and when we try to go out to eat we try to go to very kid friendly places that way we can shovel food in while the little one plays.

Everyone has there down days, just don't feel guilty about it. We all need our own time, even if it is just sitting down for 10 minutes and not doing anything while our little one plays in the other room.

What, you don't have the same interest in the same things as a 16-mo old? Blasphemy!!!

Just kidding with you. You can't expect yourself NOT to be bored....you've grown out of toddler experiences a long long time ago. And I don't know of ANY mom who gets excited over the same stuff as their kids (unless their kids are in their teens or older). Poking at bugs and breaking things bore me to tears, I know.

It sounds like you need to find yourself again. What made you happy before kids? What hobbies did you have - go back to what you did in your free time in high school even (unless it was drinking and drugs!). What's stopping you from getting back into those hobbies?

Just from experience, I've found that if you're into something that makes you happy, your kids will catch onto that excitement too. I got back into cooking - at 16 mos, there are a ton of fun things to do in the kitchen (sorting dried beans and cheerios into cups, mixing flour, etc). Set up a bowling alley with plastic cups, or fill a bowl of water for him to pour things into. I also got into gardening (what kid doesn't like playing in the dirt, planting seeds, pulling weeds, watering with his own can?), and scrapbooking (my toddler has his little art studio that he plays with along side of me). Not only do I get some time to enjoy what I love, but my toddler learns something new to play with every day. Best of all - it's FREE, and can totally be done in your home (my boy is active as well, and it's definitely draining to take him ANYWHERE). Give it a try!

R. darlin', welcome to SAHM central, LOL. Barney and Dora just are not that entertaining to moms. You can only clean the house so often and read Dr. Suess so many times before wanting to run screaming down the street for some/any adult conversation.
Joining mom groups is fine as long as you find one that the moms are not so totally wrapped up in their kid that the only thing they talk about is how many times "little Johnny" said "I love you Mommy".
You might try a "Mommy's Day Out" thru a church to take care of your son while you go to the gym. They generally have more for the kids to do then the Y's daycare. Plus, he'll know that you can't be called out of yoga class just because he throws a hissy fit.
My boys are 18 & 13 and I still have bouts of boredom,LOL. Hubby hates it because when I get bored I refinish something or start a building project. Right now I'm working on building a bed for our room. I just wasn't happy with what I was finding in the stores and decided to do it myself.

BTW: where do you do hair? I'm in SERIOUS need of a new hairstyle-heck a style period, LMAO.

Looks like you've had some good advice already, but I wanted to emphasize the point of getting yourself a hobby that is separate from your son. Learn something new, relearn favorite pastimes. Go to the library but stop by an area for you (fiction, nonfiction, music, whatever) before going to the children's section. scrapbook, sew, music,cook, etc, etc. There's a lot you can do while you are at home beyond taking care of kids and the house.
My boredom stopped when I started learning new things by reading books and using the internet in addition to joining play groups (socializing is just as important)

I feel the same way sometimes. But, I don't want to spend much money. Luckily we found a playgroup to join. You could also look into a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. If you can't find a playgroup, ask around and start your own. We take turns hosting at our homes and sometimes to parks and such.

yes it is normal, very cute to watch them figure out how to use their bodies, and you love them to pieces, but... well, what saved my life, and it took some time because we kept moving, was getting together for playdates with moms you like. even if the kids aren't exactly the same age, they still interact with one another, or at least are highly entertained. friends make the world go round, i tell you...

I wonder if it would help if you made some of your outings and activities purposeful? Think about what special thing you want to show your child or do with your child that day and work toward it. Having goals, plans and purpose might make everything that much more interesting for you. Try The Toddler's Busy Book to give yourself ideas. Also think in terms of yourself sometimes--when you're at the park, have a goal that you will do ten squats while he's on the swings, or maybe you are going to scrapbook the outing so think about unique pictures you could take. Good luck!

First thing i am going to say is DON'T FEEL GUILTY!!! I am a completely SAHM and I feel unfulfilled A LOT. I is tough when you have been in a work place for a while with in/out boxes and goal setting and deadlines. When you come home, however part/full time it is and have none of that it is pretty hard to convince yourself that you are of any good. I battle that constantly.... and I am here to let you know that you are not alone. I don't know what kind of faith background you have but I want to let you know that you are doing this for a much greater reason than any of us can realize. Just think of those days that your son attacks you with a hug, out of the blue and as he may be active, be thankful for his health that he is able to run and jump and play. I know that people are going to give you advice for play groups and activity centers but if that isn't where you feel comfortable taking him that ask moms to bring their children to your place to play with him. It will keep him in his element and his surroundings and you don't have to worry som much about his level of activity. When you are working out, I would suggest maybe getting to a point of asking the workers to only come get you if he is hurt or sick. Becasue he will cry it out if he thinks it will work... he doesn't care how long he has to do it. Maybe start out in smaller increments. Yes walking on your own with him in the stroller is another good way to get out and the park is always a good thing to fall back on. You both get out of the house and he gets to run off that energy. However, whatever it takes I would suggest finding time for yourself no matter what it is you are doing. I haven't been doing that lately and I know that it makes me feel worse.

All in all I just want you to know that I think that you are doing a great thing for your son and you are not alone in the way that you feel. The other thing that I know that helps is that you need to express the feeling to your husband and be honest with him that you need his help and he can encourage you and lift you up when you are feeling down. He should be your number 1 cheerleader but just know that you have another one here too.

A.
PS Where are you located I am looking for someone who can fix my hair and I don't want to have to just take the luck of the draw at a Master/Super Cuts.

I think what you are feeling is completely normal. I have a 2 1/2 yr old girl and i know that I have and still do at times feel the same as you. A couple of suggestions of activities to change things up are the moonwalk places, the ones around my house are free for children under 2 and also have "toddler time" a couple of mornings a week. Also I would check your community website, I live in Pearland and on the Parks and Recreation website they have a ton of classes and activities for toddlers during the week.
I hope this helps.

It's NEVER agood idea to get down on yourself for feeling any certain way.
I would get involved in mommy baby excursions with other Moms. there are tons of them, and it gives you a break while he plays and it is a good transition for him because you're still there.
Plus, you make alot of good friends that you can look forward to seeing;many in your same situation.Good Luck!
-Angela Peace

My daughter is 15 months and the same way. We can't go do anything at times. Defininetly have to run and hurry if we want to go shopping or out to eat.I am 28 weeks pregnant and have had 3 jobs each for about a month before they didnt work out. And just recently I've faced a decision either look for work or just stay at home. She has so much energy I thought it was good for her to play all day with the kids at daycare. But when she gets home she still goes wild and just wants to play.Im staying home now and faced with the same problem.I dont know how to entertain this energized child.

Yes, what you described is very normal. Have you tried a Mommy and Me class? I take my son to My Gym and he loves it and it is an opportunity for me to interact with adults. I couldn't do the Y either...too loud, too many kids, too little supervision, and too many kids coming with in runny noses. Does your neighborhood have a playgroup, or does your church have a Mom's Group? Hope this helps and gives you some ideas.

Don't feel guilty for feeling bored. It's obvious that you love your son. But it is also obvious that you are are a participator and not just an observer and therefore need more stimulating interaction. Perhaps getting involved with other mothers with young children where you do activities with the children at the same time being able to nurture your own adult needs might be the answer. Being a parent is great, but I still remain an adult and the stimulation that keeps me learning and growing through my interactions with other adults also helps me be a better parent. Your enjoyment of time with your child must be built on your ongoing mental and spiritual nourishment. So "chunk" the guilt and look for positive ways to enrich your "mental Diet." Being a mom adds to you, it shouldn't take away.

I am a mother of 6. My youngest are 5 months and 2 years old. First of all you do need time for yourself. That is where your greatest unfullfillment comes in. How about volunteering at church or somewhere? iS YOUR HUSBAND OR BABYSITTER AVAILABLE FOR YOU TO go to the nail shop, walk in the mall, to the spa, or find some woman's group that you are interested in. Storytime at the library? Find a play group. Walk through the mall, go to the aquarium, zoo. I am not sure where you L. but katy mills mall in katy has a very colorful and exciting restaurant called "Rainforest Cafe he would like. Hope this helps! P.S.-The YMCA has activities and a lot of fun places like the Little Gym have great things for you to do with your child and the Ymca has babysitting for you to go on your own, even swim time for mom and baby! Hope I helped!

R., it's natural to feel that way. All moms need a day off so stop feeling guilty and if your son cries at daycare, let the daycare know that he needs to cry and that he needs to get used to being around other kids. As it stands he thinks that all he needs to do is to cry and mama will come running.
Change up your day also. You need time for yourself.

Good Luck,
Wolf

R., this is pretty normal, in my opinion. When I chose to stay at home with my son, I was worried about the same thing so I jumped into all kinds of playgroups. I met so many wonderful people with kids my son's age. It wasn't just a playdate for my son but for me too. As they get older and become a little more difficult, it is so nice to have someone to talk with and share ideas. Sometimes it's hard to put yourself out there. Next time you go to the park and see a mom with a child about the same age, strike up a conversation with them. If all goes well, exchange numbers and just make yourself call. I don't know if this would be hard for you but it was hard for me. I forced myself to do it and now I have a wonderful circle of friends! A couple of things you can do with your son....Capital Gymnastics has a play day on Friday mornings for $5. Good way to meet other moms too. All of the local libraries have lap sit a couple of times a week. Barnes and Nobles has story time too. There's Brushy Creek Water Park in the summer. Lakeline Mall has a free indoor playground by the men's Dillards. Just a few ideas to get you out and about. Another idea is to start a walking group with women who have kids in your neighborhood. It's nice to have someone close by so you can arrange last minute play dates and such. Trust me, you are not "odd" for being bored around your sweetie. You need some adult interaction too! :) Good luck.