Will a Special Ed Child in the Class Influence Selecting That Pre-school

You don't understand why people would fear that a special needs child in a class will take up a whole lot of the teacher's time that might otherwise be spent with the 'less' special kids?
I've seen a few classes where a special ed kid monopolizes the teachers time.
It's not always handled well, and the rest of the class can flounder unless they can really do well with very little direction.

That is crazy. Why is anyone even privy to this information, it should be confidential.
I have a child who has a diagnosis of Autism in my preschool classroom...he has good days and bad days same as any other child in my class.
I cannot imagine a parent walking in and saying I do not want my child in a room with a special needs child....and they certainly are not someone I would be friends with.
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this.

I'm sorry if this sounds mean, and having fought the autism battle when my daughter was young I do understand where parents of children with special needs are coming from, but I would worry that my child was getting less attention in a class if there was a special needs student.

In most cases there are so many kids in a classroom and so little one on one time as it is, and when you add in a child who needs extra attention, that just means there is less attention for the group as a whole. This goes for discipline issues as well.

However, if the class room is set to handle one, or a small group of children needing that extra attention, then I think it can be a wonderful learning experience for kids to learn to work with others who may be different from them in whatever way. It's about the school, and if they are equipped to meet the needs of ALL the students for me, not just if there is a child with special needs.

I wouldn't send my kid to a school that told me that.

If the child is special needs, they should be going to preschool run by the town with other special needs kids. If they are in a "regular" preschool, the parents are doing the child a major disservice. That is the bigger issue to me.

No. I would not intentionally avoid a school or classroom because there was a child with special needs.

ETA...after reading your addition I'm going to say go ahead and run away from that preschool and find someplace new. If they are going to tell you this now then they will likely blame your child for every bad or questionable thing that happens in their classroom. Find a place that will welcome you and your child.

It sounds to me like the teachers are looking for an excuse to throw you out because they can't/don't want to deal with your child. But they don't want to feel like meanies (or are afraid of an ADA complaint), so they're taking the passive-aggressive route.

Get your child out now. Teachers who feel this way will often either deliberately or subconsciously provoke your child into his worst behavior and/or allow/encourage the other kids to do the same. In my decade of early childhood teaching I've seen it repeatedly and it always makes my gut clench with fury. It's much, much more common than any decent person would think. This dynamic does tremendous harm to both the scapegoated child and the other children who are being trained in how to bully.

Regrettably, you don't have the power to educate or discipline the teachers. Make a complaint, if you can. But most importantly, get your child out of their care as soon as possible. Extended time in this school will likely do harm to him.

Good luck.

after my child being choked and attacked by a mean boy, i can say HE would be a reason not to enroll. also, there was a huge boy in my dd's class who had these violent screaming fits. i would not have enrolled her in a preschool with him because he was out of control and dangerous.
SPD would not be a reason for me.

Not unless the child was taking a significant amount of the teachers' attention & the other children weren't getting equal attention. If a child needs one on one attention, they need to be somewhere more suited to that.

I never got the opportunity to see who else would be in my kids' preschool classes before the first day. As long as the child isn't overly disruptive or abusive, it wouldn't bother me. If the children are going to public school they will be exposed to many different kinds of children so starting in preschool is no big deal.

Not at all - I think it would be a great experience for all involved. That pre-school sounds horrid! If at all possible, please go somewhere else because tif they said that, I don't think they would give any of the children the love and education they deserve. Honestly, that makes me ill to just hear someone said that to you. HUGS!

No it would not (and did not) deter me. People are odd as you stated in your what happened! Unless your son is parked out in the office of the preschool where people actually come to enroll and are literally chasing them away.... I imagine he's smaller than the parents who enroll so does he also have a big stick or something? Sorry to be ridiculous, but this got to me. They need to just shut up and do the right thing!

I also think this could fall under Hepa (there are some ladies on here who know there stuff and will hopefully chime in) My thought is if t's considered a medical issue they by Law can't tell anyone else. They shouldn't but some people need a law to do the right, honorable or common sense thing.

Find a new pre-school! That's not the way they should act. Why are they even telling anyone about your child? I have heard the same thing from parents about my son, just the other day a parent said because he's bipolar he shouldn't be allowed in regular school with normal kids. Really? But to answer your question no it would not stop me from choosing the school, but if i found out they were singling out your perfect child yes it would then.

I'm wondering if there is some miscommunication.
"Chasing away" children and actually "running them off", as in their parents not enrolling them, could be two very different things.

Maybe he IS trying to chase the kids away and they are just letting you know that. Maybe he's feeling protective of his preschool and doesn't want the other kids there. Maybe the other kids coming to enroll makes him anxious.

Like I said, unless the school is actually losing enrollees because of your son's behavior, them letting you know he's behaving this way doesn't seem inappropriate. You would rather not know?

To answer your question, my kids have been exposed to children with all types of disabilities and/or special needs and it wouldn't prevent me from sending them to a particular school.

Best wishes.

The only reason I would consider leaving a pre-school is if they were not dealing appropriately with issues. If there were a child that was violent and the school didn't deal with it, that would be a problem. Otherwise, that's just a weird thing to say - how can he be chasing away kids trying to enroll? Kids don't enroll, their parents do, and he wouldn't be exposed to the kids till after the parents enrolled. Something's fishy...

I disagree with it, but unfortunately it does happen. The elementary school my children went to had integrated classrooms where the Special Ed students were mainstreamed with all students. My kids had classes with students with hearing impairments, speech problems, vision isssues, behavioral problems, mental illnesses, learning disabilities, etc. Many parents balked, but I embraced it. I think it was good for my kids to grow up seeing that some people have hardships. I have no doubt it taught them some wonderful attributes including empathy and compasion. Did some of these kids cause a distraction at times? Yes, they did, but life is not an ideal self-contained classroom and I feel strongly that allowing my kids to grow up in an atmosphere that resembled real life will benefit them.

I would want to know much more about why they are saying that. I had a little girl once that was supposed to be high functioning autism. But mom was severely bi-polar and not on any meds and she was such a mess that her daughter was feeding off her instability. She was completely out of control, hitting, screaming, throwing herself onto the floor or into walls, and I had to beg and beg mom to take her someplace else and she just kept begging for more time. It did get to the point where all my daycare moms would see me struggling with her and felt that she was dangerous. She was DANGEROUS, but mostly to herself. I did not lose any parents. But everyone was so glad when she left and they all talked about it for a long time after. It's been years now since she has been gone and a few of my families still bring her up once and awhile.

We all know that kids act up when we are on the phone or otherwise occupied with another adult. Is it possible that your child has acted up during interviews?

Not at all. My daughter had two in her kindergarden. Actually its a blessing in that since the special ed child gets a helper teacher, my daughter had an extra adult in the class to help her. Its not your kid who's chasing away students. It would be probably that lady or the teacher or some other kid. Now I did have a situation once when my kid was 4. She took a make up gymnasitc class and it turned out to be a special ed class. That was not the problem. The problem was for some stupid reason the teacher told my 4 year old. I need leave you in charge for a minute while I go get something. All the special ed kids where twice her age. Poor kid ended up peaing her pants. But again thats not the special eds kid fault or my kids fault. And She has been in many classes with special ed kids since. I remember one poor kid who use to bleed out of his ears. It was always so sad you wanted to cry but you know that kid was the happiest kid I ever met.

My son actually goes to a daycare that specializes in children with special needs as well other children. I personally feel that since it takes special people to care for children with special needs then they will do a great job with my son. Also I think it's helps those children to be around others that are more advanced, it's a ying and yang thing. If people don't want to enroll because of a child with special needs, then they are nasty people and you don't want their children influencing yours anyway! Also why aren't the teachers explaining to the potential students parents about the disorder? Knowledge is power, they may not have understood a situation but if given the necessary information they probably would change their mind.

Just to clarify, my son does not have any special needs, but he's only 6 months so who knows!

Wow. That's supremely unprofessional and very likely untrue. My middle daughter has Autism and part of it means she also has SPD. In preschool we were figuring out her diagnosis and getting evaluations done and getting her set up with special services through the public school while keeping her in the private preschool. The school was so fantastic (and accredited too) that we kept her back from what would have been her kindergarten year for an extra year of preschool with their blessing.

The school was happy to have her, and they had a couple of teachers that had special ed backgrounds. She had one of the teachers both years and in fact G inspired her to take classes to become a special ed teacher. And do you know that with their willingness to work with the public SpEd program and Early Learning Center where all of the kindergarteners go they earned a phenomenal reputation in town and surrounding towns as being compassionate and the go-to preschool. People went to them because they were known to work well with special needs children.

Having special needs kids in mainstream classes even as early as preschool is good not just for the special needs kids but for the teachers and the other students as well. It's how people learn to be more than "tolerant" but to be compassionate and kind to those who are different.

That said, I would start looking for a new preschool and I wouldn't say anything to the current one until you've found a new preschool and are ready to make the switch.

Actually, I would. I would WANT my child to go to a pre-school that served kids with special needs as well as typically developing kids. At a previous job, I worked for an agency that provided services for children and adults with developmental disabilities. As part of their programs, they operated several pre-schools which had integrated programs for both kids with special needs and typically developing kids. This was deliberate because they found that the kids with special needs benefited from being around the typically developing kids and achieved more. The typical kids also benefited because it gave them a chance to be leaders and taught them a lot about dealing with people who are different. This school also had a very low teacher student ratio so everyone got lots of attention. If we hadn't moved I would have wanted my kids to go there.

My son's daycare/preschool had a little boy with cerebral palsy until this year when the little by when to kindergarten. Everything worked very well. The only concern I would ever have in this situation would be whether the staff was prepared to handle a child with special needs and manage the entire class effectively but that is a management/staff issue and has nothing to do with the child.

I think it is appalling that they told you that and if it were me I would be looking for another preschool.

Some people may, in good and bad ways. Some will think it positive- showing their child different people and others a negative- if there is a special needs child, mine will get neglected or that their child is in class with a retard (please pardon the slur). It really just depends on the person.

I would think of it as a positive.

How would anyone even know that?

I don't think that it would deter me if I liked everything else about the school. I imagine most schools have a child with some sort of special need these days. The important thing to me would be how the school handled the child to make sure that his needs were met but also that he wasn't disrupting the class. There is a boy in my son's class who has some behavioral problems - nothing diagnosed as far as I know, but he definitely requires extra attention and discipline. It can be frustrating at times, but I love the school and certainly wouldn't take my son out because of this other boy. I can't believe the school would blame your child for others not enrolling.

As a mom to a special needs child this is so sad:( I'd hope no parent would ever opt out of enrolling their child solely on the fact that another child is different from theirs. It breaks my heart:(

No.
But it is generally assumed, that the special needs child, will have an Aide in class with him/her.
Because, a Teacher is not a trained 'Aide' per the child's needs/disorders.

The school probably meant, that it is not the actual child chasing away kids trying to enroll... but that the other parents, if they know a special needs child is in class, may then not want to enroll.
And yes, the school has no business, telling other parents, about this.

I am so sorry that preschool is doing this to you. I think that is obsurd. I would see them saying that he needs to be in a class with others with special needs. But to think that it would drive others away?

Before I read your "So What Happened" I wondered how sivere the special ed was. Truly this should not matter but I questioned if they considered a learing disablity special ed. I would not be i nfluenced to run the other way if there was a special needs or a child with a physical difference. As a matter of fact I would find it to be a plus. For my own selfish reasons of wanting my kids to be exposed to other people and learn to be a friend to everyone. Education is not only about books its also about social skills and if we can learn to corporate with others and there differences at a young age it will follow them to there employment if they end up working with "different" types of people not to shun them or be shuned for there own difference. (sorry about my spelling its my learning disablity !)

Sweet mother, how would anyone know?

Oh my goodness that is awful. I would avoid this school like the plague - I can't get over that they actually said that to you. I would never not send my child somewhere just because a special ed child would be there. My dd had a little boy in her class with severe autism and adhd. She LOVED him. She was so caring and was always making sure he was ok and she was only 4 at the time. Her teachers were always telling me how this little boy brought out the best in the other kids. They were very protective of him. :-) I think it is not only good for the child with special needs but also for other kids to experience kids no matter what there difficulties in life are and it teaches them to not be scared or rude to them just because they don't understand.

That absolutely sounds ridiculous to me. If your kid has a sensory disorder then they should make provisions for any situations that may cause alarm to him. If your child is 3 or older the school district should step in and provide therapies etc at his preschool. I can guarantee it is a benefit to all the kids to have him in the class, he learns about the real world and the other kids learn to accept.....

Don't let their idiotic comments bother you, just ensure he is receiving assistance to learn to cope.

Good luck,
DH

honestly~
I would rather my chidren be in a class with a special ed child. You learn so much being around anyone with special needs. You learn how be more caring and unselfish. Some can teach you the true meaning of friendships and loving with out condition.

The school I went to all student were in the same class. Then at different times of the day ( subjects that were beyond thier grasp) they would go to thier homeroom and learn on thier level. We had all areas... MR, MD, MS, autism, deaf, LD. One of my great friends found out he had MD in 3rd grade. By 6th grade he was in a wheel chair. We were great friends up until he passed away 6 years ago. When in elementary school I became kind of an out cast because I loved to play with two girls that one was classified as mentally retartded ( IM not being cruel, that is what they said her diagonises was) and a deaf girl. They were the funniest two people I have met to this day!! I still have some contact with them but being in a different town I don't see them very much but when I do I get the biggest hugs from them! They taught me sign language so we could commincate and when I was in middle school I got every book I could get my hands on and taught myself sign language. Then in high school I took classes at a local college for it and was very fluent in it. I worked with the "special people" in thier homes and one on one with an austic girl in school as her aide. If it wasn't for our school mixing everyone I never would have had that experience and wouldn't have gone into that field of work. I loved it! I gave it up to become a sahm.

Now there are a couple of kids in my kids school, but they are high fuctioning and I always tell my kids to give them a chance. They just want friends like everyone else. It touches my heart because my oldest has taken two different students under his wing in and out of school. So from my experience I was able to guide my kids in the right direction. I think everyone should have that experience wether they grasp on to it and run or just run.

I hope you find a preschool that will be more excepting of your son... really all of us have something wrong with us in one way or another, some its just more obvious!

I'm really hoping what you're saying is that people would want very much to enroll their child in a class with a special ed child for the opportunity for their little one to interact with that child and learn compassion, and that differences can be celebrated. What a great opportunity for little kids that is!
So I read your "so what happened" after I wrote this, and I am concerned, as are many others, that your child may not get the best treatment in this school of they have such an odd attitude towards him. It sounds to me like an excuse to avoid having him in class.

I guess I don't get what you are asking. Are you asking if you should seek out a class with a special ed student or avoid such a class or something else?

Good luck to you and yours.