Wife Wont Let MIL Spend Time with Child, Because She Is Jealous of Her Care.

Well it's not fair to compare the two relationships in the first place and it's really not fair to try to control which one is "better". Your parents will have their own type of relationship with their grandson and so will your in-laws. She sounds unreasonable about it. If I were you I would try to protect your parents time and ability to develop their relationship with their grandchild. It's not their fault that your wife is jealous. Perhaps you could have your parents visit with him without your wife present. Don't forget that turn around is fair play. You could insist that your parents have equal time and that she not interfere. You have no idea how long of a time your parents will be around to enjoy their grandson. Don't waste that precious time with silliness.

Unfortunately this sounds like just the beginning of conflicts on differences in parenting styles.

Tell your wife that kids emulate what they see. If they don't see her hugging and holding hands with her parents, your child would be less likely to do so as well. Some people show their love and affection in different ways. She needs to be the example she wants to see in her child.

My mother always rushes up to hug my daughter but my husbands parents do not. However I make a point to rush up to my inlaws and give them great big hugs and my daughter would always rush right behind me to follow suit. Sometimes you need to be the change you want to see in your own family.

Very difficult situation you and your parents are in. But your wife is being ridiculously controlling! Your son is going to have different relationships with different people all his life. They are HIS relationships, and should not be interfered with by his parents, even at this young age.

I have to say that I was much closer to one grandmother than my other grandparents. We lived closer and she spoiled us rotten. :) But I really appreciate and respect my other grandparents for who they were. I'm sure I was much shyer with my grandparents than my other grandmother as a small child as your son is now. But remind your wife that there will (hopefully) be years for your son to get to know his grandparents and love them, he might respond to them differently as he gets older.

We just named our son after the grandfather that I wasn't as close to as a child. Relationships change over time. I hope your wife can leave your son to make his own bonds with his grandparents. He will surely feel the love from all of them, even if they are different. And if he enjoys your parents more, it would be such a shame to take that away from him!

Good luck.

I read the other responses and I tend to agree. If your son saw some affection between his mom and her parents, he might follow suit. It's worth a try!

This is a tough situation, but she's being unreasonable in her expectations. I'm actually in the same situation where my son and daughter prefer my in-laws, but I try not to take it personally (even though it DOES hurt). I love my in-laws, and they are wonderful people, just as my parents are. I recognize that I have no control over their feelings and relationships, and I love that they love all their grandparents, even if they favor one set over the other.

Please don't let your wife decide who your son gets to spend time with. Your parents are just as important as hers, and they deserve just as much love and affection from their grandson!!

I agree that this sounds like just the beginning of issues the two of you may run into, but I think you need to pick this battle. Only you can decide how to approach her about this, but you need to let her know in no uncertain terms that you absolutely will not limit his time with one set of grandparents to try to foster a closer relationship with the other. In fact, the opposite may happen if your son feels forced.

Is your son able to undertstand your wife's parents? In other words, do they speak with an accent? My father in law does and I definitely notice that my kids are a bit uncomfortable around him because he speaks differently. I don't punish them for being uncomfortable, though. His style is very different than my parents'. The kids are very different and much more carefree and comfortable around my parents.
I'm sorry, this doesn't really help you with how to deal with the situation...just some insight.