Why My Boy Is Very “Generous”

Updated on January 11, 2011
B.B. asks from San Francisco, CA
14 answers

I have a one-year boy who seems very cute and obedient. He is also very sensible and smart, and plays very well with other children. But there is one thing I can’t understand: he never protects his toys. Even when someone snatched away his toys, he would stay calm and never cry. I don’t know why my boy is very “generous”. Is it caused by his personality or other reasons?And what should I do to guide him.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Why would you want to try to guide him over this at 1?
Some little kids cry over every little thing. Maybe he is just mellow and a toy isn't all that important to him.
My son never cried over that kind of thing either and he was wonderful at sharing his toys as he got older.
You will be writing a different post if he hits the "everything is MINE stage" and throwing tantrums about it.

Don't worry.
He's fine.

5 moms found this helpful

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T.W.

answers from Denver on

This could just be a personality trait that may not be all bad. People tend to think someone is a push over if they let things like this happen, when in reality they are probably the person that doesn't get stressed out over the small stuff, and last time I checked, generosity is a good thing. = )

All that being said, I think you may be jumping the gun a bit. He is only 1 and just may not care too much yet. When kids hit 2 or 3 they start laying more claim to their stuff. All 4 of my kids are totally different in this area and my first one certainly was more like what you are describing. As he got older, he began to protect his things yet always kept that sharing nature, which really worked out since he now has three younger siblings to exercise his patience with.

Just let your baby be, he doesn't care yet so you shouldn't either. He is who he is. Now, if he is older and starts getting bullied or something like that, you probably need to intervene, but for now, he is just a baby, enjoy.

Good luck.

8 moms found this helpful
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B.P.

answers from New York on

Seriously? He is 1. At this age, everything is interesting to him plus he might be a mellow child. If this is your biggest worry, you are a very lucky lady.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Sounds like a great trait to me....he might develop wanting to keep his toys later but this sounds great. I would encourage him for being such a generous boy.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

I don't think it has anything to do with generosity, that is a really deep idea. He just does not mind right now. He is not really even playing with other children at thsi point, he is there, they are there, that is the extent of it for a one year old. Easy going babies are a blessing, and he is still a baby.

The only things you need to guide right now are langague, fine and gross motor skills, and learning how to deal with more solid foods and getting teeth...he has so much to do and learn ahead. In a year, he will be a different boy. Nothing to do but enrich his environment wtih lots of langague and every day opportunies to explore.

Watch his milestones and make sure he meets them, and don't take wait and see for an answer if he misses one. Development is too important...and that has nothing to do with your question, just something I like to share when ever there is an opporunity! Time is free, but you can't get it back once it goes by...

Enjoy your baby!
M.

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i'm not sure what the problem is.
he's only 1. he will go through many many development stages yet, and may well become territorial about his stuff.
while he'll probably develop generosity easily, i doubt he's actually generous at this point. it's just not important to him. and that's cool. why try to guide him to become anxious and protective?
khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

He's 12 months old. He doesn't know his elbow from his butt cheek. There is nothing wrong with him. Would you rather have him scream, cry, and throw a fit?? My son is 19 months old and does the same thing. He's very laid back and go with the flow. He generally picks up another toy and continues having fun. Sometimes, he'll take the toy back. He's a very easy going and fun little dude and that's just him. I would never want him to react, if that's not what he wants to do. I'm kind of happy to have the kid who doesn't freak out when kids steal things. He is such a good boy and I think he just doesn't care. He is not timid, hesitant, and he certainly doesn't have confidence issues. He's a happy confident, happy go lucky boy. It's not a big deal to me, because it's not a big deal to him. In fact, I think he's quite advanced in his ability to cope. I wouldn't worry about it, mama.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from San Francisco on

you are blessed and i think you should praise your son for sharing so well. my kids fight over everything even at that age.

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A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

My daughter was the same way at this age, but when she got a sibling, she started to learn to speak up for herself!! It will happen with time.

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E.H.

answers from San Francisco on

My baby is 1 too and does the same thing..but i'm not concerned she is only 1!! I wouldn't worry too much about this unless you would rather have a mean child or one who gets upset all the time over every little thing. You should be thankful you have such a laid back baby.

S.L.

answers from New York on

My guess is he finds other children more interesting than toys. Enjoy it while it lasts!
don't be surprised if it changes one day.

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

My 9 year old girl was the same way. Her preschool teacher asked if she could work with her so she would not let kids take things away from her and she would be more assertive. At the time, I thought it was great that a teacher was watching out for her and teaching her to stand up for herself.

At 9, kids sense she doesn't like conflict and will take her pencils and not give them back. I talked to the teacher after one incident. She thought my daughter stood up for herself just fine. Then I pointed out "But the boy kept her pencil." The teacher said since they all had yellow pencils, she didn't know whose it was(the list said "plain yellow pencils only" .

So now we bought some very unique pencils in hopes of stopping that, but she still just lets it go most of the time. Also, she was given a huge bag of silly bands and she actually gave everyone away within a week. I don't care if she doesn't want them, but I don't want her just doing it because kids insist.

I did enjoy the times where she played with kids without getting upset. That is the advantage of having a kid like this.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Personality is both natural & environmental. Maybe he will just be gentle and will not sweat the small stuff.

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I think it is his personality...you are lucky to have a sweet, laid back child. He will be a sweet, laid back adult when he grows up.

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