Why Does Boyfriend Have His Son Call Me Aunt _______?

Not a clue as to 'why' all of the sudden.

BUT, for years, my kiddos called my fiance "Mr. First name" as a sign of respect that he was an adult.

"Mr. First Name" died in april of 2013. Over xmas, they ALL referred to him that way.

Perhaps this change of name is because you will soon be a relative? (a proposal soon??) Other than that, I have NO clue.

BUT, my kiddos, when younger, never referred to ANY adult (when under 18) by their first name alone.

I am an 'army brat', and a former military spouse. Other than a few life long friends that were 'army aunts/uncles'...all adults in their lives had a 'title'.

Five is young (IMO) for any child to be on a first name basis with an adult...no matter the relationship.

Best!

"Honey, why is XXX calling me Aunt BonBon instead of BonBon like he's been doing for 2 years? I find it slightly insulting and odd and I want to know why he's doing this".

Jennifer,

Nine months ago when you posted, you were scared to get attached to the kid and met him 4 months into the relationship...and you didn't "Feel" it...

Now nine months later, you are STILL with the guy...so now he's got his son calling you Aunt Jennifer? You were having thoughts before that it wasn't right. Maybe this is your clue that it's not right?

I know I told you 9 months ago not to invest any more time in this guy or hurt his son, but here you are still involved. Why are you still there?? Did your feelings change???

Why can't you ask HIM this question?? If you can't ask him?? This relationship is a waste of your time....

Good luck!

i don't get why you're asking a bunch of strangers instead of your boyfriend.
how is this even something to tiptoe around?
'dude! persimmony snicket has always called me 'broomhilda.' why on earth do you now have him calling me 'aunt broomy'?
question answered.
:/ khairete
S.

Why don't you ask him?

I think you need to ask him.....why speculate?

Why don't you ask your boyfriend this question? After two years together you should be able to talk to each other about pretty much anything.

You've "been together" for 2 years...why not ASK?

Ask him.

Some people I know use "Aunt" as an honorific for people close to you, even if they aren't relatives. I have a "Great Aunt" who is actually my grandmother's college friend, and for years I did not know any different. If you don't like it, then tell him it's not necessary or offer something else. I'm not usually fond of children calling me my first name straight up, but I made an exception for my sks. With many friends, they are Mr. and Ms. or Miss First Name to my DD. Maybe they heard it used somewhere and liked the idea.

Perfect time to practice your communication with each other! If you've been together and serious for 2 years, communication shouldn't be an issue.

Ask him!

I do feel it is not appropriate for a child that young to address any adult by first name only.

Bottom line: You both need to communicate with each other.

Speculation: Probably because it gives you an aura of "legitimacy" around his family. But that begs the question as to why he doesn't give you the only "legitimate" status that is appropriate to you which would be "fiancee" or "wife."

If people don't believe in marriage, OK, but don't borrow other family "status" names to satisfy some need for a social construct (when one doesn't really believe in social constructs).

JMO.

PS: I'm not suggesting that you get married either. But if it were me I wouldn't stay in the relationship much longer and let this child get super attached to you, only to break it off later. That's just me though.

You should really ask him. This is the kind of issue where the more time you spend trying figure out why he did something the less likely you are to accept the reality of his reason when you find it.

Be open when you ask him. Try not to make assumptions, actually look for information.

You may find that he wanted his son to give you a title that indicates a relationship between you and the son, rather than just your name which places you as simply an acquaintance. You may find that his SON asked if he could have a special name to call you. Whatever the case, your purpose for asking is to find out, not argue.

THEN, decide whether it's okay with you (people are supposed to have some say in what they are called, and he kind of took that from you and caught you off guard).

HTH
T.

I would guess he doesn't want the inlaws to know you're a couple. If the son sees his grandparents infrequently they may not know who you are. Iprrhaps the inlaws don't approve of their grandson using only first names. Is there a court order that requires he not live with a women? Do his inlaws disapprove of him dating? Perhaps he's separated but still married. Who else was present? If a woman close to his age was present, I would wonder if he's seeing her.Because this happened at his inlaws I suggest this is related to them and the visit.

What is his explanation? If you can't ask or he won'the give an explanation, I suggest you take another look at your relationship. Couples need to be open with each other.

Maybe to make it seem more like you are really part of the family. Maybe he can't think of something more appropriate to call you.

I've had the same problem. I was never sure what my kids should call grandma's boyfriend (common-law) or my sisters boyfriend (common-law) or my sisters ex-husband.

You really should ask him why.

The only way I could realistically answer this would be to ask your boyfriend. Since I don't know him, I suggest you ask him.

I read your last post about your fears about getting too close to this young boy, so may your boyfriend is putting the same distance between you and the child that you yourself put?

And you are visiting the in laws - so that may mean that your boyfriend hasn't told them about the seriousness of your relationship? And he's putting a more distant title in front of your name, as if you are a friend and not his girlfriend?? You've met them (and before you met his son) so this is odd behavior.

I'm not sure why you mention that you are caucasian and from the midwest. Are you suggesting some cultural background for us to consider?

A red flag is that your boyfriend has suddenly changed the routine.

But with the last post and this one, you are showing that you and your boyfriend don't have very good communication. There is a fear of commitment on both your parts. I think couples therapy would be a really good thing. You aren't sharing with each other at all, and this little boy is in the middle of a relationship that isn't solid.

I'm guessing that it has to do with his being around his family. If I were you, I'd say, by the way, what's up with the Aunt stuff??

What does he call you or refer to you as when HIS dad is not around to the boy? You are assuming it has nothing to do with his parents.

I am not in your situation and sometimes I get stumped when referring to people who are step or ex in-law relatives. Do I introduce my cousin's dad who divorced my aunt as 'Uncle Joe' to my kids? I just do not know what to say sometimes and one day will say it one day I may not.

I wish there was an official proper title for you (the girlfriend of the father) so things would not be awkward.

edit: I do think I would be a little creeped out by 'aunt' because that would be the term used for his sister in the traditional use.