What Do I Call Him?

I like the list that Anna Lee gave. Find something you are comfortable. With my 2 cents worth, I would suggest Beloved.

It sounds like you are talking about those times you meet someone for the first time or meet with someone who is just an acquaintance; just not someone with whom you are willing to spend the time explaining in more detail.

Best of luck to you both!

I refer to my husband as my guy, my man, my dude, my other half etc. I mostly do call him hubby, but I use all of those and they sound fine and I think they would apply to you guys as well. I never even called my husband my boyfriend when we were dating. It seemed juvenile to me to, I mean I was 30! We often joke that we were never boyfriend and girlfriend, we just dated and got married;)

Since you are in Texas, if you call each other husband or wife you could be considererd legally married.
I know many older couples that always call their spouses "sweetie" or "better half" or something that is really cute and I assume it is their actual spouse but who knows?
How about just using his name?
I'm married and depending on my mood , he is my husband (which really sounds sort of possessive-like my dog) or just his name or that blonde guy I live with.
I agree that boyfriend sounds a little young and insignificant. So maybe significant other would work best!
Good luck!

You may not realize it but you sound really judgmental and self-righteous when you say you don't need a piece of paper to say you're in a committed relationship. Trust me I don't think of my marriage as just a piece of paper or a ceremony. It is a covenant that my husband and I have made with each other and God. We take it very seriously. The government then recognizes our marriage and gives us certain rights hence the piece of paper.

Why complicate your life? If you are committed to one another what do you have against marriage? Are you thinking you may find that in the future you might want to leave and don't want to pay for a divorce. Because since you have children together you will still end up in court for custody, visitation and child support issues. I am just really confused by your question. I think you'll find that your children as they grow older will be confused as well by their parent's relationship to one another. This may be "the look" you're talking about.

Why try to sugar coat the truth. He's your boyfriend. You have done everything else together like have beautiful children, live together (i assume), are committed, etc. then why try to confuse people. If you feel ashamed go get that piece of paper so you can tell people the truth about your title. That "piece of paper" is powerful then you won't feel like you sound juvenile anymore.

I guess he is "boyfriend" or "Susie's daddy" because you can't say hubby or fiance........Or just introduce him as "Bill" or whatever. People will infer that he's with you & your daughter & will see him as your man & her dad.

I think you can call him your boyfriend, that is what he is. If people have a problem with that, its not your issue, some people are just a little thick. Other names you can try is 'significant other', which is kinda long :), or 'my man', or 'my other half' (not to be confused with 'better half' :)). But honestly, I personally would just stick with 'boyfriend'.

If you buy a car or a house and the seller says you don't need any papers what would you say? That piece of paper is important for your children and for legal purposes. "We both feel the same about having a commitment relationship without needing the ceremony or piece of paper at least for the moment-or longer(my feeling more so than his)." What kind of commitment is that?

I know it's a bit late, but...

I had a friend whose significant other was in some legal trouble, but in order to visit him (long story, not going to air it all here), she had to be married to him. Anyway, she simply had to open a bank account with both their names on it, and that enabled her to call their relationship a common-law marriage. Do you have any official document (other than a birth certificate) that has both of you on it? House lease? Bank account? Car title? Ta-da! He's already your common-law husband, as long as you both publically claim it (and, thanks to recent law changes, are not the same sex). "Husband" is fine, and in a sense, accurate. No one needs to know the particulars, unless you want them to.

He is your boyfriend so I would just leave it at that. If you have no intentions of getting married then why worry about what others think. Just call him your boyfriend. I will say, however, as your children get a little older, it will complicate matters; at some point this could becoming embarrassing for them (that you are not married). Just something to think about. A couple very close to me have been together for 11 years (they do not have children and won't until they are married). However, even after 11 years, they still call each other "boyfriend" and "girlfriend."

How does 'my significant other' sound to you? There's plenty of people who never get married, but there was one post on here a little while ago about someone who was shut out by her father-of-her-childrens family while he was in a coma in the hospital despite the directive they signed with the hospital. Being married gives you rights and makes you next of kin and while having in-laws can be a pain, there's nothing they can do about it because being the wife legally puts you ahead in the pecking order - before his parents and any of his siblings (and it puts him ahead of your parents and siblings, as well). It's something worth thinking about.

You could say He's the Brad Pitt to my Angelina Jolie.

Best friend and the father of my children.

I just called him by his first name like everyone knew who he was. When they'd ask who is that? I'd say, "He's my manfriend!" (Or I'd just fall back on significant other if I was in a hurry). Eventually we got married because I needed the health insurance. Eloped and the wedding cost $111 bucks. Mostly for the cost of the license. So romantic I know! But hey, we're still together and the best of friends so it worked out ok.

I have to tell you though, after we got that little piece of paper that said we were married it made referring to him a lot easier. Calling him husband was SO much easier than fumbling around with any other title. And boyfriend is such a juvenile term. =/

About a year before we got married I just started calling him my husband. I didn't care if it wasn't technically true. He was in spirit even if we didn't go get married and it saved the raised eyebrows and annoying questions.

Also, just wanted to add, getting your union "legalized" just makes everything easier and gives you rights as a couple that you would have to fight for without it. If you go to the hospital for whatever reason, being legally married just greases the wheels and helps everything move along without a hitch. It provides an umbrella of protection for the two of you that you wouldn't otherwise have. It'll protect you from a bunch of legal hoops you'd have to jump through for a lot of things.

I started "dating" my husband in 1995 but we didn't get married until 2003. And the only reason we did was because we hit a legal roadblock where they were not going to let me be on his insurance because I wasn't his wife. They didn't accept "domestic partner" as an option and neither one of us wanted me to be without healthcare and my job didn't provide it.

In my own experience just sucking it up and signing the paperwork to legalize the union made life a lot easier for me. Buying a house, giving birth in the hospital etc.

My husband and I felt the same as you for several years before we finally wanted to get married. We were Christians way back then. I had issues about whether a ceremony & a piece of paper actually made us more committed, so you won't get "the look" from me :) My parents were divorced, my dad twice, half of my aunts & uncles, as well. We got married when we finally decided that WE wanted to. I didn't have the issue you do, though, we had children after we got married: it just took forever to get pregnant is all. Just call him your boyfriend if the situation calls for it or your Children's Daddy. That's what he is. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks. You don't have to explain to anyone if you don't want to. However, don't lie. If he's not your husband, don't call him that. Find a phrase (that's the purpose of your question) that you are comfortable with that is not a lie. He is your boyfriend. When (if) he becomes your fiancee, then you can call him that. The only way to get away from "sounding juvenile with BF" is to get married. Also, getting married will help with insurance for yourself if the one his job offers is cheaper than the one your job offers.

It doesn't matter if you're married or not when "describing" your relationship. With all of the different relationships, I sometimes catch myself saying "my-kids'-dad-my-husband" because I wanted people to know that I am married to my kids' dad, not a remarried/unmarried mom since I don't wear my rings. I'm not a jewelry person and my husband is fine with it even though he feels "naked" without his rings :)

Smiles! and Congratulations on your Daughter and Soon-to-Arrive Little One!

His first name
Love of my life
soul mate
partner in life
My honey
My love
My man
My mate
Significant other
My guy

J.,

Call him by his first name around the people who already know you and introduce him by his first and last name to new people.

Nosey people might ask about your marital status and you can take it from there.

Blessings.....

I don't see why you can't call him your boyfriend. About not getting married you guys already made the commitment why not make it official?

If you have been together in a committed, monogamous relationship for 7 years or longer, in most states he can be considered your husband by civil law. That means that he's not your husband by certified marriage, but he has similar rights in terms of a life partner. In most states this is called 'common law marriage'. I don't know if this applies to you guys in your state, but thats what I know.

I agree with Traci K. - "BF" sounds like its not serious, even though it clearly is. I'd just find a cute, sophisticated nickname like "Sweetheart" or even partner....

You'll find what suits you, best of luck!

You could always introduce him as your better half, significant other and what not. Who cares what others think about not being married. You both know how you feel in your hearts and that is all that should matter. Everyone has opinions good or bad but they are opinions. Its your life and you should live it the way you want to rather its being married or not. Technically if you have lived together for a certain amount of years and you have kids together you could be consider common law married. Some States acknowledge that. You know some people don't need the formality of marrigae to be happy or be together as though they are. I have a family member who has lived with girlfriend for 30+ years and have never gotten married and they are extremely happy. SO I say to each their own.

I am in the same situation and always say "husband" not only for simplicity sake but because we are truly married in our hearts and are more married than a lot of legally married couples.

I don't think people assume same sex if you just say "partner." Yes, "Life partner," but just "partner" could be husband, boyfriend, etc.

I TOTTALLY feel you on this one! I'm 30 and I feel ridiculous calling my bf, my bf! I feel like a kid lol. We often refer to eachother as husband/wife depending on the situation, if we're looking for furniture, talking with a contractor etc. its spousal if its people my age its bf, when we have the kids its husband etc. My gf has been with her bf for 20 years, with children, they refer to eachother as husband/wife.

At first reaction, I like "my man" for the introductions, but as Donna posted below, I really like "Beloved."

I'm not a fan of "partner/life partner," but not because of the possible gender confusion. . . I don't like using it when referring to my gay family, because it sounds way too businesslike.

Oh, I feel you. I hate the term "boyfriend" beyond mid-twenties. I was over thirty dating my husband, and I referred to him as my "sweetheart". It felt kinda funny at first, but that is what he was, my sweetheart; and I would just say it like it was his official title. People got the idea that he was certainly more than a boyfriend but not legally my husband. Then, they could use whatever labels made them feel comfortable later on...but I did correct "boyfriend" when I heard because that grated on me.

Good for you for not letting other people's labels direct your path!

I like, My Other Half. But if you've been living together for a while, you probably are considered common law married and could call him your husband.

I am in the same boat and call him my other half. people ask why I call him my husband even though we are engaged and my boyfriend half the time. but we have a kid together and reside in the same house so I found it easier to call him my other half. we are not married because I am the one holding out and some complications that are no ones business but ours. so quit explainging and call him your other half. :) ps mine is my worst half. :) good thing he has a sense of humor.

I live over in the UK at the moment and actually I would say a very significant portion of people choose to live together for years and have kids and do all the "marriage things" buy property, etc and not get married. Over here they (including a lot that are married) refer to their other half as their partner. I would go with that and if you are worried about gender confusion I would try to drop in the pronoun as soon as possible :D
Good Luck!

date, young man, beau, escort, companion, gentleman friend, steady, lover, inamorato, sweetheart, man, gentleman caller, suitor, flame, paramour, truelove, admirer, wooer, fellow*, main man*, old man,my dude, my hunk,

also look up synonyms for boyfriend.

I say my Sweetheart. It sounds more natural and loving than significant other and more grownup and committed that boyfriend. Boyfriend insinuates it's not that serious of a relationship. I hate that.

He says my fiance. If that works for him, that's fine. But to me that seems like we have set a date or something. I'm committed and don't really want to get married. So fiance seems odd to me, but I think he sounds proud when he says it.

A word to the wise on "common law" marriage. In Texas there are 2 requirements. 1) Cohabitate for 6 months 2) present yourself as a married couple. You have to call yourself husband and wife on things like insurance papers, etc. But this make believe marriage is very real and you have to get a very real divorce. You can't just call yourself divorced!!

I had the same problem before I got married, and we also agreed that BF /GF sounded so juvenile, so we decided we would introduce each other as "My Significant Other". Sounds a little more sophisticated and implies more than just dating. One can translate this to mean: complex, finely experience and aware. The dictionary describes it as "not in a natural, pure or original state , deprived of native or original simplicity, highly complicated or developed. Your relationship is pass its original state. You have ties that bind both of you for life with your children.. plain and simple you are more than BF /GF.....you both have a significant other, not his wife but definitely not labeled as his GF. Hope this helps.

a little late, but if you are committed, then significant other is good to use when dealing on a more formal level, and partner when talking more casually.

BF does sound funny, just too young. the reason i dont like DD daddy is it gives an idea that you may or may not still be with him, and it puts the definition of you relationship with your daughter, instead of you. if you were married, you would say husband, not your daughters father, even though you still have children. pick something that is representive of you and he as a couple, not just the kids relationship.

to make it even easier, the moment you bring him up initially, say "my partner john and i ..." that way, you can refer to him by name at all times in the future.

Why not just call him your significant other?

Just want to say I like your So What Happened response.

Spousal equivalent works for me. :-)

I feel the SAME WAY, BF sounds like something out of high school, LOL... I call my BF my guy, or my man. Of course, his family calls me his wife ALL THE TIME and it's almost a little irritating since there's no ring on my finger! ;)

My boyfriend and I call each other fiance a lot. Even though we aren't getting married anytime soon, we know one day we will so we feel that term still counts. On here I type boyfriend just to be clear. How about significant other or my man? (on a side note I always hate when i do say boyfriend people automatically assume he is not my daughters dad....and he is!)

I have a friend who has a husband (or so I thought). After we were friends for a while I found out that they are not married. They have been together for 8ish years. They are not married, but for all intents and purposes, he is her husband - so that's what she calls him. Who's gonna question you?!

I have come across this same dilemma in the past and wondered the same thing. When I would say my "bf", for some I reason I would always feel compelled to say "and my daughter's father" because I felt like some people just assumed she wasn't his since we weren't married. I finally realized that I had no need to define my relationship status to anyone else and to hell with what other judgmental people thought---"get a life uber-religious right" is my philosophy =) Especially when it concerns people judging because we weren't married. I would frequently use "partner, my guy, other-half, and even the old ball and chain jokingly..." I would sometimes say spouse or significant other, but the latter is a mouthful when used in general chit-chat, imo Use what feels right to you and learn to perfect the "get a life" look so you can have a response when these other folks feel the need to communicate non-verbally ;)

Have you asked him what he wants to be called? And what does he call you?

I think at 5 years you are considered to be in a common law marriage, so you can call him your husband legally at that time..

IDNRTOR - that's I did not read the other response and found this question on your page.....I like what you wrote about the breastfeeding comment to the mom in the store....You sound very insightful....

How about "My Mr. Big". lol

You could go by his name, whenever appropriate, and fiance when people do not know him by his name. My boss refers to all the workers' significant others as "fiance" if they are not married. I think it sounds more professional/mature than boyfriend/girlfriend.

i was in that situation before i married my son's dad. we were together for 7 years before we got married--we just never felt the need to get married. but i did refer to him as my husband...so much easier than having to explain why you aren't married to him. also to at school in my son's class i used his last name for the kids to call me -it was easier too on my son so he didn't have to explain why i had a different last name. but the teachers knew of the situation so it didn't bother them. so go ahead and call him your husband!!!

very late... but same sit. here, I call him my "hubby". :D