Hello Mama's
Ok, so I would like to hear your thoughts and opinions on something I witnessed the other day at our local Walgreen's.
I had to go to Walgree's to shop and while I was walking up to the register I noticed this little boy, maybe 8-9 years old, shoving lot's of candy down his pant's, he knew that I seen him do it! I was shocked and saddend when I seen that! I have a 8 year old son too and would hope and pray to god that he would never do something like that! Anyways, I know the workers there and the manager very well, and so I went and told the cashier. Was I wrong for doing that? How come I feel so bad? Alot of people I know said I did the right thing but for some reason I feel bad. I told my husband about it and he said that had I not said something then the little boy would do it again and think it's ok. The weird thing is that I had a "rain-check" for candy bars that I needed to get for my daughters b-day party and when I went in the candy section everything was wipped out! And then I made a remark to the manager saying "you guys really sell alot of candy!" and thats where the manager told me "no, it just gets stolen!".... So my question is, how would you have handled the situation? It's soo sad! I thought about going and offering the kids some money and tell him that I seen what he did, when I told the manager that he told me to never do that only because I would of gotten in trouble too! Thanks in advance for your responses! I for some reason feel sad about the whole thing, I don't know why?
Thank you all soo much for responding! The little boy was alone with no adult supervision! I wouldn't even lt my son ride his bike alone! I also forgot to mention that the cashier called the manager and the manager confronted him infront of everyone, the look on his face is what got to me I guess. Kid's are un-predictable and you never know what mistakes they'll make...But I agree with all of you and my hubby too! He had to learn a lesson...
You did the right thing. The boy needed to learn consequences for his bad choices. If you'd given him money instead, he wouldn't have learned any lesson other than sometimes adults will bail him out of his bad choices.
I can understand feeling sad, but it would be that a boy that age was already becoming a thief.
You know what? Doing the right thing feels REALLY crappy, sometimes. I imagine having a son of the same age, kicked your mommy guilt into overdrive. You DID do the right thing, though! I would have done the same thing, and probably would have felt the same way after. I'm sorry you feel bad, but you absolutely did the right thing!
You're sad because you saw a young child knowingly do something wrong with full intentions of stealing that candy. At age 8, he knew he was stealing. It is heartbreaking b/c you know that your own children wouldn't steal b/c you can afford to buy it and would have done so for him had he asked.
You did the right thing and your husband is correct. Had you looked the other way, you would have been equally guilty of stealing. My guess is this isn't that kid's first time in the store for a "treat", but it may have been his last. Life is about choices and living with the consequences of those choices. Better that he start learning that lesson now with a candy bar than 10 years from now with a car!
I would've stopped him myself and found his mother...
what you did was right...stealing is wrong..period.
I would NOT offer the kid who was stealing money to buy the candy - I would talk to his mom and make her take him up to the manager, return all the candy and apologize...they say it takes a village - and some mom's wouldn't think to make their kids atone for being a thief....at 8 the boy CLEARLY knows the difference between right and wrong...he should be held accountable for his actions.
my son stole a little puzzle book from our grocery store when he was 5 or 6 - I told him that it was wrong - took him back into the store, made him return it, pay for it, then I told the manager he could call the police if he felt it was necessary and stepped aside...the manager spoke to my son - he has NEVER taken a single item again...
Why would you feel crappy for stopping a child from stealing? If he was shoving it into his pants the way you describe he had to have known what he was doing was wrong. You did the right thing, so why are you doubting it? Better that he gets caught now while it's just petty "penny candy" than when he's older and it's grand larceny.
Um...OK....call me crazy, but (and I have an 8 year old son) WHAT was he doing in Walgreens alone?
I would do the same thing. I like to think I would have asked the boy to come to the front with me and tell them what he had done, but until you're in that situation, it's hard to know. I'm picturing what Andy Griffith would've done and hoping I could live up to that kind of integrity.
I've caught kids mid-theft. If they are younger than teens, I tell them that they know stealing is wrong, and I will have to tell the management if they don't put it back, now. They do, of course. If I have the time, I stand there until they leave. If I don't have time, and they're still hanging around, I tell the management anyway, because I figure they're just waiting for me to clear out.
With older kids, I figure that only real consequences are likely to scare them straight, so I report it immediately.
I shoplifted as a child – my mother was so overbearing with my small allowance that I think I figured taking things was a lesser evil than spending my holy savings. But I knew it was wrong, and when a store manager caught me and took me aside and told me how hard it was to make a living when people kept stealing from him, I gave up the habit (it took several tries, because it was a habit). He didn't even threaten me with The Law, he just explained, with sorrow, how hard I was making his life.
My daughter was caught shoplifting with a friend in her teens. I did not try to protect her from the consequences. I could see that she was troubled, sorry, annoyed (with the system, herself, and her friend), a whole range of feelings, and that was good. She had to make restitution (or pay a fine, I forget which) and attend some Saturday classes on stealing. I think it was exactly what she needed at the time. You did the right thing. It may have been exactly what he needed.
Really? Have we come to a point in our culture that when we stop a robbery, no matter the thief's age, we feel bad about it?
If you were screaming, yelling, in your face and demeaning to the little boy - then yes, you should feel bad about what you did. But you didn't treat him as such. So don't feel bad.
You did the right thing - I guess I am really not sure why you would feel "bad" about trying to make sure a child learns one of the basic rules of civilized society and then learns that there are consequences when rules get broken. My guess is that his parents are teaching him nothing, or maybe he's just trying to see what he can get away with. He could even be in there on a dare from an older sibling or friend. But that does not make it okay. We complain about communities and lawmakers being soft on crime, yet are not willing to set firm boundaries and expectations for good behavior when our children cross the line. It starts at home.
I would have said something to the kid about how stealing is dishonest and told him I will have to report it to the manager. And I would, Kids need to learn consequences, and stopping it now is better than then growing up continuing to do it.
I have seen parents telling their kids to steal candy and teaching them how to do it. So, if the child gets caught, the adult acts all embarrassed and acts like the child did it alone.
I'm hardcore-I would have said to the kid "I see what you are doing and it is stealing. Put the candy back right now or I will tell the manager." and then would have stood there and watched him put everything back. After he did, I would have quietly let the manager know what had happened, so he could watch the boy if he ever came back in.
You did right by calling attention to it and making the boy learn the consequences of his actions.
One time my son, unbeknownst to me took a bottle of school paste or something like that from the grocery store. My other son narced on him once we got to the car. I marched him back in and made him return it. To the courtesy booth. I was so angry, yet I too felt bad. He was my son and while we were never rich we could have purchased it for him. Kids do this for who knows what reasons (attention?) (excitement?) (just cause they can?) but the point is you did do the right thing and it does need to be nipped in the bud immediately. AS for feeling bad, oh yes it does feel bad because we are ourselves trying to be good people and we don't want others to be angry or shamed by us, but it had to be done.
