What to Do When You're Just Not Ready??

Goodness I can relate! I had a c section with both my children, with my second, my first child was only 2 as well and lets just say my mom isnt very helpful. My husband worked nights and it was just really hard. I remember crying out of pure exhaustion. It wont be easy but its temporary! Find someone to help you with your children and concentrate on your new baby for the days you are in the hospital its not easy but it has to happen, they will be fine. Lots of moms gave you good ideas, ask friends or church members to help. Let me know if I can help you. Good Luck.

N.,
Try not to worry.

First, you need more people in your life.
Church, neighbors, friends. If you don't have a church I really suggest you try some out after you've recovered. It is so fulfilling to have that support as well.

Second, you need to make up with your mom. You don't have to give in... just say, "Mom I heard you were mad at me because I said you are a ___ and you know what, you are a ___ but you are also a wonderful mom and grandma and I need you."

Third, you will be fine. Mine were all 1 year apart and I have 3. Fortunately, my c-section was first, then I had vaginal. But your 2 year old will be fine. Maybe confused at first, but fine.

Stock that freezer with some ready made meals. Stock the cupboard with cereal and canned goods. Make sure the baby has enough diapers for a month and that your kids are taken care of and you are good to go!

When I went in for my c-section with my 2nd daughter, my 1st daughter was only 15 months, and leaving her was the single most stessful part of the whole thing! I have never spent the night apart from my girls, who are now 7 and 6, except for those 2 nights that I was in the hospital. IF I could go back and do it again, I would arrange for a bed in my room so that she could have slept with us. It was have lessened my stress during the whole thing.
WE have no family here and no "close" friends to rely on-- only a few neighbors and acquaintances... so I know how hard it is. However, it will all fall into place because it HAS to, and as soon as you see that little face, you'll forget all about that external stress. If nothing else, you can get someone to watch your children during the section and then have your hubby take care of them-- maybe set up some games in your hospital room, a dvd player, etc. and then have him go home at night to sleep.
Good luck!

N.,

First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy! Secondly, I am sorry that you are having so much stress, especially at such a special time in your life.

Where are you located at? Do you have any friends that could stay with the kids at the hospital while you and your husband deliver? Anyone from church or a play group?

I know what you mean about the lack of help. We have no family here and feel badly asking friends to watch the kids for a 5-hour dinner and movie date. Plus, the money involved! We just can't justify a $100+ date night every week (once everything's paid for.) So, the kids usually go with us...how romantic! lol

I will be praying for you and your mom. Take care!

N. -

I just had my 3rd Child in November and I had stress closer to the due date so I understand where you are coming from. I wanted to have everything ready to go and I wanted my family to provide for my kids at home just as if I was there. Some of the things that helped me where just to write everything down about things that go on for while you are away. I made meals so that there was food already ready in the house and then I felt a little more prepared. I know how hardships can happen with Mothers as I have been there too. I have a feeling that she will come around and I agree with someone see if your husband can talk to her if you can not or make an unexpected visit. Good luck and congrats on your new addition.

Say a prayer then call your mom. Let her know how stressed you are and that this is not good for you or the baby. I am sure she wants you and the baby to both be healthy. Tell her your other children feel safe and comfortably with her. And that they are excited and looking forward to spending time with her. I think maybe she needs to be assured that she is loved and needed by your whole family. Although this is not the finest time for her to be acting selfish, but she doesn't have to know that!

I think right now is the time to focus on you and your children...not on any petty, non important issues your Mom is dwelling on. She is going to miss out on something pretty special. You need to stay strong and focused and nonstressed. Can your husband talk to her? If not, do you have any friends that could/would help you? Do you belong to a church? I know how difficult it can be with a new baby and little ones at home. You don't know me, but I have 5 kids of my own (almost 19, almost 11, twin boys in Heaven and a 4 yr old), so I have the experience, if you need some help you can always contact me! I wish you the best of luck and I'll be praying for all of you! :o)))

First and foremost you owe your mother an apology. If it was something (even though small to you, may be different to her) that you said behind her back- not to her face, it hurts regaurdless of the degree you feel she should feel hurt. I am not at all coming down on you- I know that it must be so tough right now- but she may even feel a little overwhelmed also as in thinking "here I am bending over backward to do these things for her and she is complaining about these little things about me" if you catch my drift. I know this because my mother is VERY active in my life and helps so much with my daughter- and sometimes I know it's tough for her too- and there are times I have said things that have hurt her- but I also make sure that she is recognized for all that she has done for us (also being the very one I can count on at all times). Just call her and GUSH about how sorry you are and you didn't realize what you said would effect her that much. You know, although it may be a small matter, I have first hand experienced times that such a small thing threw me over the edge- one day I'm okay with a joke about getting "chunky" because of my pregnancy and the next day it throws me into a crying "I hate being pregnant!". Please don't be upset with your mother for being hurt by something you said- just try to be understanding as hard as it is sometimes- it will in the end make you feel MUCH better. I wish you the best of luck with everything and with your new baby! God Bless!

I had to leave my 16 month old when I had a scheduled c-section with my son. I was so stressed out! My mother came to stay with her and everything went great. I wanted my husband to come home while we were in the hospital for my daughter sake. So he would switch with my mother he came home and she went up to the hospital with me. We also bought her a new kitchen to play with to distract her a little bit. As far as your relationship with your mother goes I think that needs to be held quickly. If she will not pick up the phone then go over to her house. Tell her you need her to be your mother right now not a friend who gets upset about words that were said or not said. Being a mother you know that if your child comes to you and needs your help you will do whatever you can. She will do the same right now she is being childish. Go to her asap!