What to Do? - Bremen,IN

Updated on July 08, 2008
S.H. asks from Bremen, IN
5 answers

Okay ladies, I have two questions. They may be related issues but I am not sure. My daughter is almost seven months old and has always been an extremely happy baby. Never afraid of strangers and played well by herself and with other babies. However, I went on a week long business trip to Atlanta about a month ago and ever since it has been an off and on struggle to get her to stop crying if I don't hold her. I have tried everything! I have tried picking her up to reassure her that she is fine (at which point she immediately stops crying) and I have tried letting her cry it out. She cries as long as I will let her sit there. I am at my wits end. She does not do this when I am not around. For example, she will be at home with my husband and playing in her excersaucer nicely. As soon as I walk in the door (literally) she sees me and starts to cry. Like I said, I have tried every way I can think of to stop this behavior. Also, when she nurses she has started grabbing me and pushing and pulling at me the whole time (I think this may be to a decrease in milk supply from being on the trip). I can't seem to get her to stop doing that either and it hurts! I don't know what to do. I love her soooo much and I want to hold her all the time but I have other kids and a home to take care of (on top of work). She is just wearing me out! How can I remedy this problem? Is this normal? Can I reach a happy medium?

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C.P.

answers from Cincinnati on

Get a comfortable baby carrier(not anything you may purchase at wal-mart or target) and wear her while you do your household tasks. Sit down and cuddle her and sing to her and just love her. She can't say it with words but that is what she is trying to say to you - that she needs you. It probably freaked her out when you left for a whole week.
Crying it out is actually detrimental to a child's health and causes brain damage, I would never suggest that.
Last - remember this is a phase - it will pass. She needs you to help her through it ; )
Soon she will be crawling and getting into everything!

Good luck!

I can recommend some great carriers if you want to email me.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.W.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi S.,
I had a similiar situation happen to me too. I had to go out of town for a family emergency two three day weekends in a row and then was absent a couple days each week during a two week period (deaths in my family). Anyways I a stay at home Mom so me being gone this much really through my 18 mos off even though he was home with is daddy in his own house. Anyways I too wrote into this website and I got some really good advice so I will pass it along. 1) you baby is feeling a little insecure about the one she is closest too leaving. Babies have no concept of time so whether you had left her for two hours or a week that was out of the norm she was thrown off and now she is just looking for some security from you. Some reassurance that you will always be there and return. 2. so here is what I did, I put up with my son needing me and it eventually ran its course (not going to lie I was tired and ready for him to feel secure again but it took about two months)I also would leave and take a little walk a run a short errand where I would only be gone about ten to twenty minutes and then return and love him up. Hope this makes sense and also helps.

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D.M.

answers from Columbus on

I agree that she may be going through some separation anxiety (which is completely normal for her age). I think the advice given is very good and although it may be a struggle now, she will grow out of it.
My son (6 months) is very touchy feeling when he nurses also. He has not gotten to the point where it has actually hurt me. However, I do give him something to occupy his hands with, such as a blanket or a burp cloth but nothing that may distract him too much from the nursing. There has been a couple of occations where he has clamped down on my nipple (I don't think intentionally) and I would pull him off, tell him "no bite" and allow him to continue to nurse. I know he doesn't completely understand what I am saying, but some day he will recognize words and the more I repeat them, the sooner that may happen. Hope this helps

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K.F.

answers from Toledo on

I agree w/ your other responder that this sounds like separation anxiety, and both my girls went through this (my boy has always loved attention from ANYONE, and is the twin to my younger girl, so all children are different...)

My first girl's personality gained a whole new facet at exactly 7mos I remember (and she still has it at 9yrsold!) I think they somehow start to realize "hmmm...how much of my mood affects Mom's mood?"

I believe it's important to stick to, or establish, a routine that they can depend on at that age and make sure all caregivers agree.

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Could be separation anxiety. Don't hold her all the time. I've seen first hand what happens when you hold your child all the time. Can you play with her on the floor? Or in her exersaucer? Put her down, leave your hand on her arm/leg and play with her till she realizes that you're not going anywhere. Slowly back away until there is a space between you. If you leave the room, continue talking or singing to her. It may take a long time for this technique to work, but it's worth it. Good luck! :D

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