What's Your Opinion on Good Time Spacing for a Third Child?

Hi I have three boys and for me I like that they are spaced out. I have a 10yr,6yr and a 6 month old. I love it because I can enjoy each age more plus I don't have a lot of patience. Also I have some big helpers. It is great for me, I couldn't have them so close together. But if you do go for it. I have some friends who would not have it any other way.

I have a daughter who will be three August 9th. and my son will be two October 24th. so they are 14 months apart and I am pregnant with my third child. I feel that it is good to have them back to back like that so teaching them both will be a breeze.

I think it is all on what you can handle. My daughter and my son are a little more than 2 1/2 years apart but my next one is going to be a little closer to my son than that, they will still be 2 years apart but only by two months. I personally felt it was a lot easier to have my daughter older because she showed an interest in helping out. But it is certainly how and what you feel you can do.

Hi
We had our first child when I was almost 21 yr old. We had our second child when I was 30 and our third child when I was 32. We had tried earlier between first and second child but God must have not planned it that way for us. The boy's always enjoyed each other even though they were normal fisty boy's. I always wanted a playmate for our daughter who was first born but guess it was just not meant to be. Personally I found that almost three years apart is the best age difference. Good luck and keep God in control.

My girls are 3 yrs apart, which works great for me. I think it all matters in what you think you can handle. I did not want to in diapers, so I waited a bit. I would think 2-3 yrs apart would be great, I think that over 4 is just too far apart. Nothing in common.
I am one of eight btwn the ages of 48-32, the youngest and I are 7 ys apart and have never been close. The one older that myself is 3 yrs older and we getting along great.

My three are about 3 1/2 years apart - its just what works for us I think. That way I only had one to buy diapers for - we are trying for #4 and the timing will put the third and 4ourth more like 4 years apart but I think they understand more what it means to have a little sibling too. And once you get past the adjustment of two kids, number 3 is not that much different.

It is all a matter of opinion. Some people think it is better to have kids closer together and some would rather wait a little longer. I think between 2-3 yrs. apart is good. My kids are all just a little over 3 yrs. apart. I think this is good as they usually get along well. It gives your body time to heal.
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7 and 4. The oldest was born Nov. 30,1997, the middle was born Dec. 25 2000 and the youngest was born Jan. 22, 2004.

You ask the question like you have control over the issue! Believe me, that control is not completely yours. And trust me, chaos doesn't end when they go to school. The only way that having them close together would help would be if it meant you could put them on the same team, lol!

Our boys are nearly 5 years apart, not at all by choice. But it has been wonderful. We got to enjoy them both as babies and toddlers without another baby/toddler around. Now the oldest is in college, and we are able to attend all the games and functions of our HS'r without feeling like we are shorting the older. (And, we will only have one in college at a time, which is a financial blessing!) I saw some of my friends trying to balance all the activities of their close-in-age kids and was grateful we didn't have to do that. And I was very pleasantly surprised to learn that boys five years apart COULD be best friends.

Relax a little, and enjoy what you have. You will get all the babies you are supposed to. I know I did!

We have 3 with a 4th on the way. Our oldest just turned 4. There is 18 months between #1 & #2 and 14 months between #2 & #3. It took us a bit longer to get pregnant with #4 so there will be 22 months between #3 & #4. We are older parents 36 & 37 and wanted a larger family. So we crammed them together. Once you are out numbered the control issue get more complicated. For us, it is important the we are very consistent and fair.

What I love it that we have our own play group, they seem to advance faster (learning from one another), they are more interested in the same things.

With any new addition there is a schedule adjustment, in my opinion, once you get past that, for the most part things are easy sailing. It helps if you husband/partner is fully engaged. You will not be able to do it alone after 2 kids. BOTH OF YOU WILL NEED TO TAKE BREAKS (away from children)! This may sound weird, but, the fact that we have good sleepers, has everything to do with it. The rest of the stuff you can learn to deal with.

Hi Abigial! My name is H. and I am also a 26 yr old SAHM. My first 2 girls were 20 months apart (planned) and we have always loved that. They are now 4 and 6 and are great friends and playmates. I decided to wait longer for our next one (she is almost 2) and I am really happy about that decision. For me, I needed a little break to get the first to under wraps and outta diapers! :) I was so glad that I did too. When #3 came along, I had 2 awesome helpers that were almost 3 and 4 1/2 and it was wonderful. I am planning the next and last one the same way. To each their own though. If you decided to have them all close then it would be fine and you would manage. I was just at a point where as a mom, I had to let go of some guilt and waiting for # 3 helped me relax and spend some time with my girls so that I was prepared for that next phase.
I would ask God to help you make the decision that would be good for YOUR family and in your heart, you will know. Blessings, H. Grounds (____@____.com)

Hi A.,
It's been passed down from one generation to the next in our family that a woman should wait at least a year between pregnancies. Guess what...medical research now supports this "family spacing plan" because a year allows your body to fully recover from previous pregnancy and you alleviate increased risk of preterm or premature birth.

We have five kids,with the first 4 being 2 to 2 1/2 years apart. Our last two are 4 1/2 years apart (and yes the youngest was planned) but I now wish we would have had another one in between so the youngest one would have had a sibling at home to pal around with. Our kids played well together, fought well together, and as young adults are best friends. Their younger sib is included in all their activities when all the kids are together, but I really think it makes a difference having them closer together in age.

We have 3 children and the first 2 are 20 months apart. #2 didn't sleep as well so we decide to not have the next baby quite as close. #2 and #3 are 38 months apart. They are girl/boy/girl. Even though the first two are closer in age the second two are closer maturity wise. The oldest was almost 5 when the baby was born and see was a great help. Wouldn't have had it any other way. Now they are 16, 15 and 11 and everyone is so busy.
I don't think I would have waited any longer though because when the oldest was starting to get interested in activities, brownies, soccer, riding lessons, the youngest was just about 2 so she was easier to bring along.

This summer all of my kids are going away to different activities and just last night I said to my husband, I think it will be very different with no one here.

Good luck
T.

we also have 3 children. the oldest are 17 months and 17 days apart and the youngest two are 15 months and 3 days apart. in some aspects, like with school, i would have rather spaced them more, but when i see how much they depend on each other for different things, i wouldn't a thing given the option. my oldest son is teaching my daughter to read, because he learned this year and my daughter(middle) is very protective of her baby brother. hope this gives you some insight on things. by the way my kids are 6,5, and 4

Hi A.! Here's a funny one for you! I have two boys who are 10 and 11 years old -- 15 months apart. It's great, because they are on the same ball teams, enjoy the same things, and all that stuff. We also have a little girl who is almost 7 months old! The boys are great with her and always help out. The nice thing is that the boys are getting older and wanting to go off outside and play and do their own thing, like go to friends houses and things like that. When they would leave to visit friends, we felt like the house was so empty. Now that we have Kaelyn, we are able to enjoy every minute of her now that the boys are so much more independent. No matter how you do it, it will be a wonderful addition to your family!

I have 3 (almost 4) kids spaced close together. The first 2 are 21 months apart, second 2 are 22 months apart and the 3rd 2 will be 25 months apart. I LOVE IT!! I'm sure that you will hear that whatever you decide to do will be great. I know I love having them close, they all play together well and I have never totally gotten out of the diaper mode. :) Good Luck!

(SMILE) Hi A.,
From experience both ways...I have 5 sisters and we're all really close, when we were kids and even more so as adults. And even more so, we're all females too...lol..we're my older sisters are only a year and a few months apart, than their was a 8 year gap, than I was born and than my little sister who's only a year and 3months younger than me. We all fought, yet we all would stand up for each other and play together and enjoy each other. We were very close. Now I have 3 girls, 2 are very close in age..well almost 2 years apart. Than my youngest is exactly 8 years younger than my middle child and 10 years younger than my oldest. My oldest isn't too close to her and always complains about having to play with her or do anything with her. My middle child adores her baby sister and would do anything to make her happy or feel important to her. My older sisters and I had spats off and on, but more so we still talk and love seeing each other, we also still hang out. (well when I was back home) Am from another state. But I would go out of my way to be there for any of them if they need me. I hope this helps you on my behalf of being on both sides. : ) Good Luck!

We have three children, ages 2, 4, & 6, and we are expecting twins in just a few weeks. We love the fact that they are so close in age and play together because of their similiar interests. Even my daughter being the oldest with two younger brothers, they all three seem to get along pretty good and play together ALL the time. They also like the same/similiar tv shows, which helps a lot!! We have also been blessed with good sleepers, and that sure helps, too. As long as you don't mind having two in diapers at once (or 3, as we soon will have!), I say go for it! =) We didn't have much of a choice, since we had our first at the age of 29, but we wouldn't change a thing. Good luck!!

I can only tell you my story and maybe it will help you decide. I have a 13 year old boy, an 8 year old girl, and a 7 month old boy. i thought I was done after 2 but could not decide. God decided for me and now I have the three. I am having a hard time adjusting to a baby after having my freedom while my older ones were in school. On the flip side, my 13 year old is very helpful and my older two were starting to not want to do things with me anymore so now I will have the little one the keep me company. I think this is a very personal decision and there are benefits to both options. You are still very young so you have plenty of time for the 3rd but like you said you may want to get the heavy chaos over with.

I think it's really about how you feel. None of my kids were planned. My oldest was born in June and right after his 3rd b-day I gave birth to my second son in July then right after he turned 3 I had our little girl in Aug. All 3 years apart but I love having them that close. My brother and I are 6 years apart and we were never close until after I graduated. The only downside with my kids is that we have one birthday after another.

there are so many pros and cons for spacing them close or farther apart...

make a list of both - both you and your hubby

then after a few days or a week of brainstorming, compare them and talk about what would work best for you...

we didn't have a choice - we thought we were done having children after our 2 girls.... God had a large spacing plan... when the girls were 9 and 12 we had our "little man blessing"... One big plus is that we have built in babysitters and next year when the main sitter is off to college, our second daughter will take over :)

I have 3 kids under age 6. There's 3 years between the first two and 2 years between the 2nd two. It's not that bad because my oldest is in kindergarten all day. If he was home all day then I think I'd go insane. :-) That said, I really like the 3 year spacing between the 1st and 2nd. The 2 year gap between the girls was a bit more hectic just because the middle child had just turned 2 a few weeks before the baby was born and still needed alot of help with things. Now 9 months later, she's 2.5 and much more independent (and out of diapers!). All 3 kids play together... well, as much as a 9 month old can play with others. :-) I'm sure they'll all fight alot - the 2 and 5 year old already do. But they also play together nicely because they aren't too far apart in age.

I have friends who have a 6-7 year gap between the 3rd child and older siblings and the younger one hates it. Sure the older ones can help out mom but the youngest has no "built-in" playmates.

As the effects on my body by having 3 kids 5 years apart... it took a little longer to bounce back but then I'm also 35 now. I lost the weight fairly quickly after baby #3 was born but still working on toning up - especially the stomach. But overall the pregnancy and labor wasn't much different than the other 2 because I had time to 'recover' between pregnancies. I did have to stop breastfeeding my daughter a little earlier than I (or she) wanted to because breastfeeding while pregnant is very exhausting! She was 20 months (5 months pregnant) when she weaned.

Ok so this is coming from a girl who wants number 5 lol, and i'm your age, so i might be bonkers here but anyways, closer is better, my first two are 16 months apart, and the next two were 23 months apart and then my step daughter whose been around since she was 4 is only a few months younger than my middle son. It's been chaotic but wonderful, i'm actually afraid that number 5 who will be at least 6 years younger than the current youngest is going to be much more difficult than any of the others just because we are starting all over. i have to say though had i spaced mine out a little further i might not be wanting another so bad, lol. best of luck.

I have both, and as there positives to both. I do see though how when you have a huge space it is easier though to give each child more attention while they are young and to just be able to focus on the one than worry about all of them. Plus when you have them close it is all over with, the pregnancy, baby stage etc.. They other is that you are not trying to help them though college all at one time.

I have two daughters 19 months apart. They are now 7 1/2 and 6. I also have a son who will turn 3 next month. I enjoyed the older two girls being close together and didn't know any different if it was any harder. They share clothes, like much of the same things, and keep each other occupied. My son is 3 years younger and I think it is perfect. The girls mother him and he loves to be with him. They help him get dressed, watch over him playing, etc. I think I needed the little break between kids and to make sure the girls got some of the individual attention they needed (they tended to get treated like twins by many people). It may have made it easier for us since the third was a boy. I worried that the third may feel left out if it would've been another girl. I'm kind of glad that my kids aren't all spread out 3 years, though, or we'd have kids in all completely different interests, activities, and age groups. Just my opinion.

I have three kids all within 4 years of each other. (17mos between 1 & 2 and 22 mos between 2 & 3 )They are now 7, 9, & 10. I love it this way. It was hectic when they were younger but I think in a way also easier. The 10 year old will still play with the 7 yr old alot. When we go to the movies we can find one they all will like. Vacations are easier because they are into similiar things, such as Disney they were wanting to see and do the same things. I like the fact that we can come up with games, tv shows, or activities that they all will enjoy.

I know others that have them spaced apart and that has worked for them. I think there is no wrong answer, just what works for your family!

I have 3 children ages 12,8 and 4. There are of course many benefits to being so spread out. There is less competition, so less fighting. There is more self reliance, so easier on me. There was only ever one in diapers at a time. I now have an in house babysitter, which I can tell you is a BIG benefit. But there are some cons.
They are all at different stages and that can cause many complications. Finding age appropriate activities for such a spread all at once is sometimes hard and someone ends up sad or mad. The TV is a big thing beacause the younger ones are exposed to the older kids shows and it's really hard to manage unless I am going to put everyone in a separate room which I just think is crazy. Getting them all to play together at the same time can also be a challenge. The oldest has a particularly hard time with the youngest. They do try when I insist.
So the question is would I do it this way again???
Probably not.
I think if you have the energy just get the chaos over with. This way your diaper days will be over sooner, your children will have more in common, Your vacations will be easier and I'm sure there are many other reasons that I will never know.
Whatever you decide just enjoy the ride. There is no perfect way to take it!

Hi there. I've experienced both sides~ I had my first son when I was 20, and my twin sons came along 25 months after that. I had three in diapers for a year! (that part wasn't so fun lol!) Then I had my little guy when I was just about to turn 30. (older boys were ages 10, 8, and 8) Even though is is WONDERFUL to have older children who are able to and love to help with the baby, I am so thankful that I had the older three so close in age. They drive me bananas with their bickering... we've had to break up a few duking-it-out fights along the way, too. But they are all best friends, and it is just awesome to watch them grow up together! They always have someone to play with at any given time of the day. And as much as they complain about each other, if two of them are gone, the one left at home is lost without his brothers! I was born 7 yrs after my sister, and 6 years after my brother... we're pretty close as adults, but it stunk growing up having NOTHIHNG in common with my sibling because they were so much older.

You need to do what works for you! I have an 8 yr old daughter, a 5 year old daughter and was suprised with daughter number 3 in December. My 8 and 5 year old love her and are a constant help...although she is only 5 months old and not in their stuff yet! :) I do find it a little harder to spend 'quality' time with the baby, as my older two are always on the go!

I am 29 and I have 4 girls ... 9, 6, 3 1/2, and 1 I am also a SAHM. I have to say that my 6 year old and 3 1/2 year old are pretty darn close. (they are 2 years and 4 months apart) My older two are 3 years apart (almost to the day) - while they are close ... they arent as close as the middle ones. Its hard to say who the baby will be close with. There is almost a 3 year gap there too. I havent ever had 2 in diapers at the same time. While I think its nice to have the space I like the spacing with the middle two better. Of course everything depends on their personality too. I think you should go with what you can handle ... obviously if the thought has crossed your mind - you arent very overwhelmed. It doesnt hurt to start trying - God has the final say anyways :) ... Have a great day and good luck!

In general the longer your body has to recover after a pregnancy the better. I have 4 children and there are pros and cons to close together and far apart. My 2 that are 18 months apart seem to have bonded more than the 2 that are 6 years a part. But you have to take into account their personality differences. The oldest(15) and the 2 youngest(3.5 &2) get along great. My 10 year old does better with his brothers(15 &2) and doesn't care to spend time with his sister(3.5). I have heard good and bad stories for all circumstances. My advice is to pay attention to your body and have a family discussion about it. How does you husband feel about another baby? Do you have the finances for another? Would you like to go to work outside the home at some point? It can be a little difficult to keep up with an older child (or 2) and take care of a little one. Of course taking care of 3 little ones can be challenging also if they are not well behaved. Also, the older you get the longer it takes for your body to recover(in general). Hope some of this helps :-)