What's Acceptable for a Nine Yr Old Girl

Hi A.! I understand exactly what you are going through! I have 3 kids myself....ages 10, 7, and 2.....2 girls and then a boy. The oldest just turned 10 in Nov. We expect exactly the same things out of her. It doesn't mean she does them. We have to tell all the the kids to clean their rooms (obviously the 2 year old has a lot of help). But the older 2 won't do it unless we tell them to. When we do, the 10 year old usually does it without much complaint. When she actually is willing to play with her brother and sister, they do end up doing things they know they shouldn't. I don't know which of the older 2 started it sometimes....but it obviously was one of the older 2. As for her things, she has gotten better at taking care of things. She doesn't get as many things as she used to. She used to get something every time we went to the store. I think having less things helps them appreciate and take care of what they do have better. We tell the 10 yr old constantly that she is the oldest and the example and on and on and on. I just keep telling myself that eventually it will all sink in and she will understand. Of course, she will probably have kids of her own by the time that happens! But she is a good kid otherwise, gets good grades, and her teachers love her.

Point of the story....I believe it is normal behavior for your daugter. As long as she isn't being a behavior problem at school and isn't disrespectful to you, then I think she is fine.

Good Luck!
T.

ok, my sons are 11, 8, and 7. they do their chores, with much complaint, but it gets done. usually right the first time.. my oldest is the instigator most of the time.. obviously, having 3 boys there is always fighting and rough housing.. your daughter is the oldest and has more responsibility so she lets go with her younger siblings. she is also at the age where she wants to test her boundries (kids are starting younger these days). there is no miracle cure, just be stern and give a time out and send her to her room, with out the tv, cd player, dvd player, mp3 player or etc. tell her she has to set the example and you will not tolerate any unacceptable behavior.

My 6yo takes better care of his things than my 8yo or my 12yo. He's also the one who "follows the rules" better and is generally a more responsible kid. I really think it has a lot to do with personality.

I think what you expect from your daughter is fine. Keeping her room clean is one of my 8 year old's jobs. Just remember clean to you and me is not the same to a child. I also have a 5 year old son and they fight like cat's and dog's. I hope it is just a stage also. Let it run it's course.

HI A.,
YES KEEPING HER ROOM CLEAN SHOULD BE HER JOB,
I HAVE 5 CHILDREN WHO I STARTED GIVING CHORES TO AT AGE 2.
LITTLE THINGS , PICKING UP TOYS, TO EMPTY THE LITTLE TRASH BAG.
NOW AT AGE 11 MY DAUGHTER MATES ALL THE SOCKS AND CLEANS UP ALL OF HER MESS
AT AGE 10 MY SON PICKS UP HIS MESS AND TAKES OUT THE TRASH
MY SIX YEAR OLD IS SPECIAL NEEDS AND HE HELPS SORT LAUNDRY , CLEANS HIS MESS UP AND SET THE TABLE
MY FOUR YEAR OLD HELPS CLEAN AND SHE EVEN SHAKES THE RUGS OUT AND HELPS WIPE OFF THE KITCHEN TABLE
MY FOUR YEAR OLD MAKES HER BED (SO DO ALL THE REST) SHE FIXES THE PILLOWS ON THE COUCH AND EMPTIES THE LITTLE TRASH CANS STILL

JUST BECAUSE YOUR MOM DOESN'T MAKE YOU A SLAVE. IF YOU DON'T TEACH THEM THIS NOW, HOW TO CLEAN UP AND THAT NO ONE IS GOING TO DO IT FOR THEM , THINK OF THEIR LIFE WHEN THEY ARE GROWN.
LITTLE CHORES GIVE THEM RESPONSA AND ALL KIDS NEED THAT .
I HOPE I WAS OF SOME HELP TO YOU.

Hi my name is B.. I have three children. Anyway my oldest is 11 and is a girl Im having the same problems. Im hoping its just a phase!! Well lets pray it is!

I think she is very normal, who LIKES to clean, but unfortuantely we all have to. What if you do a reward system with the 3 of them? If they get so many stars by the end of the week, they get a treat, ice cream or something.