When I divorced, I had no children, so perhaps things were easier. I did not even meet my lawyer until the day I went with him before the judge. Everything we did via email. First thing I emailed him was a long document with our 'assets' I guess and bank accounts and things that had montly payments
ie:
-2006 Ford F250 - monthly payments paid to Ford Motor Company
-2004 Chevy Blah - monthly payments paid to SO-n-So
- Savings Account ****567: balance $12.34
- Credit card account ***789
- Washer and Dryer - monthly payments made to So-n-so of $45. Total Balance as of 4/12/2012 is $1234.00
I wrote everything down that we had open and wrote who would take over what, and which accounts where in who's name. I let him sort out the mumbo-jumbo into laywer talk. But it was nice for me and the ex to see and agree in 'real person's talk' who would get what and who would take over what bills. We did not own a home at the time luckily.
I remember in my decree one part of it was what I'd like to change my name to, if indeed I wanted to. I took that paper with me to the DMV and SS office to change my name. So if you want to go back to maiden, make sure your laywer knows!
So sorry you're going thru this. I know it's not fun nor easy.