Retirement Money in a Divorce

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Good luck.

First off I agree with Toni V., and this comes from experience. I work for a TPA (Third Party Administrator) that handles the benefits for unions. I work in the Pension Dept and we are required to let the member know whenever an inquiry has been made against their account. If you are not yet discussing divorce, by making inquiries discreetly this may be your best solution. However, if you openly discussing divorce with your husband, contact the Administrator since they are the best source of information.

I can tell you that legally in the state of CA you are entitled to 50% of the Community Property (from the date you are married to the date of separation, not date of divorce). Your Final Judgment of Dissolution (final divorce decree) will tell the administrator if you are entitled to the pension benefits (you can waive your portion if you want when you are discussing your settlement agreement).

Once you've gotten the divorce finalized you will need to then contact the administrator and ask for a Sample QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order). Basically, the instructions on how to payout your portion of the benefits. Remember, not all divorce attorneys are licensed to do QDRO's. However, you can have a legal document typing service, paralegal, or legal aid help you create your QDRO.

I really hope I gave you enough basic information to get you pointed in the right direction. I am sorry to hear that after 23 years of marriage, your husband has forgotten that he has a person to share his burdens. Good luck with whatever you decide.

-S.

I am not 100% positive, but I believe you are entitled to half of it because California is a Community Property state. Check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Community_property for more info on Community property states. Your best bet though, is to speak to an attorney in California that may be able to provide a definative answer.

Also for inexpensive or free legal help, go to any of the following websites and I am sure you can find someone who can assist you. Divorces can get very expensive, so you may need all the financial assistance you can get. http://www.lawhelpcalifornia.org/CA/index.cfm
http://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/guide/legal_index.shtml
http://www.usattorneylegalservices.com/free-legal-aid-cal...

You can also contact the California State Bar and they should be able to provide more information on cheap or free legal services.

I think it depends on laws of the state. In this state if the people are married over ten years then the retirement is split 50/50.

My sister in law got divorced about 8 years ago. She had been married for 30 years to her husband. When they divorced she was able to get half of his retirement money. He had been steady stashing all through the marriage and she had been adding to it as well from her daycare payments. he had to pay her a lump sum and then also payments for like 5 years. I would make sure you have a good lawyer. If you were home taking care of the children while he works then you deserve some of it.

His retirement I don't know...his social security yes, from as much as I know about this...which granted is not much, but my mother just recentlt went to the SS office to check. As long as you were married at least 10 years you are eligible to receive his social security, or a percentage of it. But it's either his or yours, not both. Make an appointment w/ your local social security office...they can answer any questions you have regarding this, perhaps regarding retirement as well.

Good Luck!

I know in the state of CT, the wife is entitled to a portion of the retirement, but this usually settled when the retirement benefits begin. Laws vary from state to state.

You'll probably need to obtain a QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Oder), which needs to be prepared by an attorney. Are you in the middle of divorce, if yes, you should consult your divorce attorney. Note: The QDRO is usually not prepared by the divorce attorney.

If your legally married, you should contact the people who are issuing his retirment paychecks. They may be able to give you some advise.

you are always intitled to part of his retirement having been his spouse for so long. Unless you signed prenup giving up those rights. I have had many friends who worked little or not at all and then ended up working to support the family and their spouse took half of their retirement. Some states are different when it comes to community property. But if he has a pension (which he should not have touched yet) you are still entitled to part or that as well.

Go to your nearest legal aide office. They should have referrals for attorneys who will meet with you for little money. Here it's like $30 for an hour. They can answer questions like this for you.

Good luck!

I think your entitlement to any retirement not yet collected will depend on your divorce settlement. I think you really need a lawyer to advise you on this specific case, but I am pretty sure you CAN get some of it. I hope your (ex?) husband gets the help he needs to kick his addictions this time through!

I recommend that you DO NOT contact any agency that is issuing checks in your husband's name unless you have been designated to act on his behalf. This would be something that they would/should immediately notify him about. Do your research quietly and efficiently. The less waves the easier the transition.

Dear T.,

Make a list of ALL your assets and debts, include his retirement, 401K etc and any monies that are deposited to joint accounts, include yours as well. I believe there is low cost or no cost agencies that will give you a consultation. If you have all your information prepared in advance, they will be able to give you the best advice.

It is a drag to live with an addict (of any kind) and even worse to feel lonely when you have lived with someone for so long. If you feel there is no hope to save your marriage, then you need to move on for all concerned. I hope your children are in college and doing well. I wish you all the best.

Blessings....

I used to live in CA and am now in AZ and I think both states are 50/50 for "all assets" which include any funds. Google your county website and it may have the info in there. Good luck!

I think you are entitled to half the retirement. sorry for your troubles...

I wouldn't listen to the people who are trying to tell you that you probably won't receive your community property share of your husband's medical retirement. It sounds like they really don't know what they are talking about.

Go ahead and start asking around for recommendations for a good family law attorney in your city. Even if you don't have all the money for a retainer yet, you probably should be able to book a free consultation. That's the way the attorney knows whether or not to take your case and you can decide that the attorney deserves the business you will give him. I don't know if the attorney will answer specific legal questions during that meeting but a lot of attorneys that I have known in the past usually don't mind dispensing a little bit of free advise.

Best of luck to you.

Hello T.,
Having law enforcement officers in the family I know they have talked about this topic often. I would keep in mind that you need to have a tax and a lawyer that can deal with all the compications of the PO Union. I believe from one friends experiance working with Social Security may get complicated as well but if you have all your information gathered it may not be for you. I know that the laywer on the radio Len Tillem, seems able to answer many questions and I understand from his show that he accepts e-mails. So look him up. You can also talk to most attorneys for a short period of time for free.
After the years you have both invested I am sorry that you can't work it out. That must be hard on you. It is one thing to have a husband pass away, like I did, and another to have to deal with the pains of a broken relationship. I am very sorry.