What Do You Think? - Austin,TX

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I say no way Jose to his deal. I say sell the house and split it evenly. Or let him buy it from you. He is definitely working this to his advantage.
Im sorry to say, but I would atleast call a lawyer for a free consult just to see what they suggest.

HELL no. Do not go along with this deal. Sell the house and split the proceeds 50/50. Get child support and alimony in writing. Go see a lawyer, its worth every penny. I don't think a lawyer on the planet would tell you to go along with this idea.

Please make an appointment with a lawyer sooner than later. Good luck!

NO, NO, NO, Suz Orman says No too. Your lawyer should say NO if you get one. The reason is, He could stop paying the mortgage and YOU would be responsible. BUT you would have NO claim to the asset, it would be his. Now, fast forward to when you do want to purchase a house (It may not take a man to do this ppphht!) THAT mortgage will be on your credit report as an amount you owe because techinically/legally you do. When Mortgages were being sold like hotcakes and with the same regard, this sometimes wasn't an issue, but now it could mean you not getting a home even with a new partner with an excellent credit rating. HE PUT TIME and money into the house? NO NO NO, it is community property you BOTH own it. Don't let him railroad you into a situation that could be devastating! Imagine creditors coming after you for $1900 if he stops paying and having the LEGAL RIGHT TO DO SO. Imagine finding the perfect home, sitting down with a mortgage officer only to find out you have way too much debt because, you are liable for the mortgage on a home you get no benefit from and that home you are looking out is (POOF!) GONE. NO NO NO He is NOT looking out for you, the marriage is over in his mind and he is ONLY looking out for himself. He is NOT even looking out for his children. If he was so selfless he would let YOU and the children stay in the home and get an appartment. NO NO NO. You need to prepare yourself, this may be a battle, don't let the fact that this person used to be on your side, he is NOT anymore. That's not to say it can't be amicable but be wary! Don't say yes to anything you are uncomfortable with. Don't let him pressure you! You are also right about the roommate, but not sure you would have control over that no matter where he goes.

Forgot to add, All the best to you and I am sorry you are traveling down this road but know there are better things for you ahead. I also found a link that explains better than I probably did.
http://www.nocourtdivorce.com/articles_text.phtml?article...

I agree with Victoria W.

To be honest, it sounds like your husband is trying to pull one over on you. You are entitled to more. NO agreements or division of property and assets should be made without an attorney.

I am so sorry you're going through all of this. And, I'm sorry your husband seems so focused on saving his house. It seems as though he just wants to kick you and the girls out and move on with his life. And, he's already planning your next marriage...I would consult and attorney!

First, I am sorry about your husband deciding this. Do you have support in real life? My friends all did Divorce Care and one claimed it kept her from a breakdown.

Don't sign anything. If you think he will come back to you, you are wrong. Get a lawyer and let him negotiate for you. You are going to get screwed over and you don't even realize it because your husband is playing you.

Oh my...you need a lawyer. You are getting the screw-sorry. Wondering whose idea it was to not get lawyers...I am guessing his. So sorry that you have to go through this, it must be terrible. But please take off the blinders and get what is rightfully yours.

Ummmm.....no, do not agree to this. Either sell the house and split it or keep it for yourself. You have kids to shelter. You could just as easily get a live-in nanny and work more if you had a home to do it from.

He wants you to move out with the kids? And then do what? Struggle in a tiny apartment? While he pays a fraction of what you are really entitled for child support? From a non-income source like a roommate? That can't be garnished?

You even state that you were under the impression that you were working on the marriage, and he "informs" you that it is over. Wonder what else he will announce down the road....

Get a lawyer. Fast.

I think he's trying to screw you over.

HE wants the divorce? HE can move out and PAY THE MORTGAGE. PERIOD.

DO NOT let your children get screwed over and their lives upheaved because daddy is a horse's behind.

DO NOT sign ANYTHING with out talking to a lawyer - I understand wanting to keep costs down - but for HIM?!?!? It means being able to screw you over BIG TIME!!!!

If you have a joint account - take half the money out and start a new account. TODAY. TD Bank is open on Sunday's. Not sure if they are in Texas.

DO NOT let him mess up the kids lives to a smaller place because "he can afford it' HE NEEDS TO LEAVE AND PAY. PERIOD!!

DO NOT let him screw you over so he can "live it up"...no fricking way.

Do a lot of praying. Find a good lawyer and make sure that you get taken care of!! Don't let him off the hook so he can be a single man again. He has kids to take care of...man up dude. don't like? then WORK on the marriage. I know YOU are trying - but him? Taking the easy way out. DO NOT LET HIM.

GET ANGRY. DO NOT LET HIM TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU!!!

Luvmygirls -

Do not quit claim any of your ownership in the house - this is your largest marital asset and should be divided equitably between the two of you. Sue W. is spot on with her advice here - have your portion paid out to you - you will need it to set up a new home for yourself and your children. Also, consider the home furnishings - do you want to be paid out for them, take some with you, etc. think this over.

Child Support - my state has a standard mathematical equation that calculates this - it is a certain % per child after adjusted take home pay. You hubby is, or course, welcome to pay more than that, but learn the law and ensure you are at least getting the standard amount.

Alimony - since you have been a stay at home Mom for most of your marriage you may be entitled to this - maybe not forever - but long enough to help you get established in full time employment/financial independence.

Living arrangements/visiting with Dad -
My child support/custody agreement has a clause in it that basically states that neither my ex nor I can have persons of the opposite sex who we are not related to us through blood, or we are married to, stay overnight in our homes when the minor child is present. The local judge here who handled our case adds this "morals clause" to all of his agreements. While this does not pertain to same sex room mates - you could ask to have a similar clause put into place that also speaks to *any* non-related person. You children are simply too little to be able to tell you if they are uncomfortable with your husband's room-mates. My son is now 14, and is right now spending the night at his Dad's - who has now has a male room-mate. BUT, I have known the room mate since we were a couple and am totally comfy with it. Also, my son is old enough to tell me if something was "wonky".

Taxes - decide up front, and in writing, who gets to claim the children on income tax every year. I know of couples who have not done this and every year it is a race to file b/c whoever claims them first gets the exemption. Just crazy.

Custody - think about this. Do you want joint custody? or do you want primary physical custody with Dad having ample visitation?

Insurance - who is going to cover the children's insurance, out-of-pocket medical expenses. This should all be laid out in writing.

Summer camp, day care, clothing, etc. - sometimes this all falls under child support. Sometimes these things can be listed separately as additional support.

Bank accounts - I may get slammed for this - but - if you have a joint account you may want to go ahead and move 1/2 of it to a new, individual account in your name.

Please know that I pray that this works out amicably and equitable for you. But, I am a horrible realist and, right now, your head is spinning, and you have yet to disagree with him on anything. It may be, that the moment you disagree, that things go south.

Please be prepared to get yourself legal advice if that happens. I understand you desire to spare the expense - but an attorney would be in your best interest, and your children's interest.

Good Luck Sweetie
God Bless, know that you and your children are in my thoughts.

Run do not pass go do not talk to your husband anymore or agree to anything. Talk to an attorney and get a consultaion. You should live in the house with a friend that if need be can take care of the kids. You have more than what you know about coming to you and HE is trying to make it seem like he is doing you a favor? Please!! Do not fall for this he has no intention of looking out for you. He is looking out for himself and he doesn't care what you have or get. You probably will get $650 per child. Ok maybe not that high but look at what you could be getting. Honey get a lawyer for the love of GOD and take care of you and your kids.

He's trying to SCREW you.

(first hint: he wants to "give" you what he's charging to rent out a single room in "his" house that he wants to keep??? Because you and the kids can then turn around and rent a single room? Nope. This isn't an "allowance" or "give" you situation. This is his legal obligations for the care and rasing of his children and YOUR rights to your family assets. "I can afford the house, so I get to keep it is BASS ACKWARDS thinking. )

Unless he's completely happy with you getting HALF of all your assets AND 100% of all the legally REQUIRED child support (which his plan doesn't even meet a fraction of), plus % of pensions/401ks, you NEED a lawyer.

At a bare minimum... spend the apx $300 to go do an 'informational appt'. This is a couple of hours long appt (billed differently than the normal hourly rate in most firms) where you get a layout for the legal process of divorce in your state, figure out what's most important to you/ what isn't a big deal v what you'll fight tooth and nail for, potential problems (typically either custody or assets), what is and is not legally possible, and bring all of your financial information and sit and ***run numbers***. Most attorneys will do a 3 part layout for you. Best, Probable, and Worst case scenarios.

At the very least... go *run the numbers* with an attorney and find out what you are legally granted.

When I ran mine I expected "half the house"... but no. The way our assets divide legally (worst case scenario) I get the house 100% outright PLUS a rather large 'payout' (to make things even out) on top of child support, but alimony is iffy in our state, AND 105 credits of college (my own) paid for. Now I WOULDN'T be able to afford to pay the mortgage... but that's easy. I can either sell it, or I can lease it out. But it is NOT his just because he can afford to pay the mortgage.

What kind of man want to force his children to leave their home!!! He sounds very selfish and you are going to thank god someday that you are rid of him. Go to a lawyer before you make any moves!! And do not move out of the home that your children are comfortable and used to. They will be going through enough changes and moving I don't think is something they need right now. Remember one thing if you are going through a divorce he isn't your friend any longer, now you have to look out for the future of your children. It doesn't have to be a battle but it has to be fair!!! Good luck to you!!

Wow I am impressed, all you mama's really know your stuff, kudos to everyone.

One additional thing that came into my mind is that since you have been a SAHM you may be entitled to a portion of his pension, 401k etc. And don't forget he should be paying for 1/2 of daycare costs. Do not sign a quit claim deed until you are completely satisfied & you get 1/2 of the equity, also make sure he can refinance the property FIRST before you sign the deed, your name will NOT get off of the mortgage till he refinances even if you sign the deed. Best wishes

I have to agree; seeking counsel sounds like a good place to start, even if it's Legal Aid to begin with. My husband bought his ex out of her share of the house and absorbed a good portion of their debt onto himself, and there were no kids involved; this was part of their divorce decree and a quit claim was then signed.

I agree, too, that having a roommate living in your family home when the girl's visit might be odd. I do think it would be less odd if the roommate were in his new digs, only because it wouldn't be a 'stranger' in the family home. It's smart to be wary of this.

It may be that he can be ordered to buy you out, pay a certain amount of alimony and child support-- and all of this will be decided too in conjunction with the custodial decree.

Just a question: (and I haven't read your previous posts) has he lied in the past to get out of 'trouble' with you, or said only what you wanted to hear and not what he really meant? The only reason I ask is because if he has a pattern of saying what works in the moment to get what he wants/assuage you, then it may be that he's willing to do it again. What happens if he *doesn't* get the roommate-- does he then NOT pay you the $650 but would still be the sole title-holder on the house? What if he changes his mind and decides to move in a girlfriend, so that a roommate is less appealing? Some things to think about. It sounds like he's ready to move on and take care of himself and his needs. Time to make sure you do the same for yourself and your girls.

And that line about you "having the benefit of remarrying"... wow. Bit presumptuous if you ask me. Doesn't he have the same 'benefit'? But he's expecting *you* to find a new husband to buy you a house? Sorry to be blunt, but that's what it sounds like to me. Either sell the house or make him buy you out.

Even giving you husband the benefit of the doubt here, this is not a good deal. Even if he has good intentions of helping you and even if he doesn't intend to screw you over, this is all weighted to his benefit. And it all depends on him keeping up his end of the deal. Again, not assuming he's a jerk or a con artist, there are too many variables and this leaves you with no power or control, you are at his mercy. If something should happen where the single friend doesn't pay/moves out/whatever, or if hubby loses his job, then where are you? It goes bad fast, and then your relationship as co-parents goes down with it.

Selling the house and splitting the proceeds makes the most sense. But you should totally talk to an attorney or mediator. Just a consultation to see what's fair and reasonable from this.

Sorry you have to go through this. You're very nice to try to preserve a civil relationship, but please don't put yourself in a bad situation trying to avoid seeking counsel. If he has a big problem with this and turns sour, then he never planned to keep a civil thing going anyway (it would have been something else).

Please make an appointment with an attorney and just talk to them. They can advise you of what you are entitled to and what is "fair" and what is not. If the kids are living with you, your kids are entitled to be receiving support from the non-custodial parent. And there are guidelines that those are based on--it isn't some arbitrary number that you guys decide on together.
The home sounds like marital property. So if he wants to stay in it and you quit claim it to him, you are probably entitled to receive some cash, and I don't mean $650/month from the roommate. I mean... the value of the home is 'x', you are entitled to half that. He can buy you out (refinance to come up with the amount he needs to buy you out). Plus any other marital property or debts.

Just talk to an attorney so that you know what's what. It doesn't have to get nasty, but you don't want to be taken advantage of either. And just because you consult with someone doesn't mean you have to "hire" them to "do" your divorce. They can sit down and go over what your situation is and inform you of what is what legally. You can't make reasonable decisions about what is right or fair without knowing the facts of where things actually stand. Get informed. Then go from there.

talk to legal aid, the hour is free. there is no guarantee that a roomie will come about with rent until ur girls are 18, you need something more steady, child support and alimony, too. sounds like the house is gonna be the party house. talk to legal aid at least you'll kno what ur rights are. i cant believe you and girls are practically being kicked out.

Get the name of a good lawyer (ask around) OR make an appointment with a mediator. A mediator can help to hash things out on paper for much less $$ than a lawyer. After that's done, you EACH get your OWN lawyer and talk everything over with him/her. Do not attempt to do this without involving a third party - you will be sorry. Just because you're parting "friends" doesn't mean that you'll be getting your fair share for yourself and your children. I'd also have a big problem with having my children visit him when there's another person living in his house.

I would suggest getting a mediator. They are usually less expensive than lawyers, and more interested in getting an agreement, not a battle. We used a mediator and finished in three two-hour sessions for about $1500.

About the house. You are entitled to half the value after the mortgaged amount (the equity) of the house. When I divorced we had an assessment done to find out the current value, then we refinanced the house taking half of the equity out. I got a check, he got the house with a bigger mortgage. Do not sign the house over to him without finding out how much equity you have in it.

I would have huge reservations about my daughter(s) living in a house with a male roommate. I'm not sure legally how much say you have in who lives in his house, after it is his. But I do have a friend whose daughters did not spend any nights at their dad's house after he got a male roommate (with two pit bulls. yeah, smart guy). I'm sorry, but the whole "single friend roommate" sounds fishy to me. I wonder how long that person would be male...

Get a mediator, please.

NO NO NO! No single men around your daughters! Your husband is an idiot if he thinks thats appropriate. You never know what kind of perv is lurking beneath a nice guy facade. Get an attorney. Couldn't you sell your house and split the profit? Then purchase new houses? Get an attorney.It's wierd that your husband is all for you marrying again and you aren't even divorced yet.What happens if the supposed single friend moves out and he can't find another person to move in and you're acustomed to the extra money then what? What if he finds another tenant because he is desperate for the extra cash and it's someone he doesn't know? Then where does that leave your girls? Has he thought of this? Proably not. Get a lawyer.

First of all... he WILL leave you high and dry.
He is angling for HIMself, only.
Once the divorce if concluded, he will leave you high and dry and/or back track on all of his "promises" to you.
AND you would not have had Attorney help, so even more so, you will be left, without a paddle to row your boat.

To NOT have an Attorney- benefits HIM.
Not you.

Even if you hate each other or not... more often than not, after the divorce, the guy... will seem to forget, all of his promises per finances/financial help/ and child help.
And you will then have no way, to correct it and get him to step up to the plate.

You need an Attorney.
You NEED to CAREFULLY, decide on child custody.
There are different kinds of child custody.
ie:
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/types-of-child-cus...
http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/a/typesofcu...
http://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/types-of-ch...

You need an Attorney, per child custody.
Be SMART about it.
Research it.
DOCUMENT everything.

Yes, your girls being around some stranger living with him... what the hell? What if Your Ex, leaves your girls with this person to babysit??? And you do not know???? What then?
AND what if he wants to take them on a trip? Or take them out of State????

So MANY, ramifications.... per visitation and custody and you will not be able to control that, without an Attorney AND the courts.

Really, everything happening is for HIS benefit.
He knows that.
He knows that.
He knows that.
You should know that too.

As the other women said: you will get screwed over.
Do not be naive.
Be smart.
Get an Attorney for yourself.
Or have family help you if you cannot afford one, or look for Pro-Bono Lawyers in your State.

You need a lawyer. Things may be civil right now but they can turn quickly!! You live in such a big city that you can look in the phonebook or on the internet for low cost lawyers. Sometimes they are just paralegals that donate their time. If he refinances the house then he has to give you half of the equity in the house and you can get some extra money for another house or whatever. He also owes you alimony and let the court figure the child support. Men do not like to be hit in the wallet so that is why he is not bringing this up. Things still do not have to be unruly if a lawyer is involved but you definitely need to speak to someone.

Make copies of his work statements, bank statements and such & keep them for yourself. You can do this without an attorney, by using mediation. However, I would get a consultation with an attorney first to see what you are due & how much child support you should get. Do not let him decide what is reasonable, that is what the courts are for. Don't start working that much extra until after you settle everything in the court system. You can ask for rules to be put in your agreement such as a background check for all roomies, girlfriend & or babysitters that Daddy has at his house. I think it is called a morals clause. Just remember the same goes for you & whoever you may spend time with. There are so many things that you can have put in your agreement, but you really need to see an attorney to figure it all out. Doesn't mean that you have to use them in court, but just to get good info for mediation.

I hope this helps. I wish that I had know a lot of it when I went through my divorce...

You have gotten some great advice so far, but I just wanted to say that your husband's "plan" sounds very suspicious, inconsiderate and ridiculous. You might be better off involving a good divorce attorney so that you and your girls are taken care of properly. You deserve better.

I stronglysuggest you at least have a consultation with a divorce lawyer, whether or not you hire him/her, to tell you what the advantages or dangers are of your husband's plan. Sorry, sweetheart, but it would be extremely naive of you not to have a legal mind help you consider the consequences.

Ummmm...I don't think that's how it works.

Ask him if he would care to BUY half of the house from you? Then you can use that money PLUS the court ordered child support for 2 kids which might be around what he was going to "give" you anyway!

If his net income is less than 6000/mo, you will be awarded 25% of his net monthly income. I'm guessing 25% of his income is more than 650/month if he is paying a 1900/mo mortgage.

I would really advise you to get an attorney. Better to pay for O. now than to pay for an unwise decision for the rest of your life. And you need to look out for your 2 small children. Good luck!

I agree with getting a lawyer, but I don't think you should struggle to stay in the house. If it were me, I would be fine with him taking the house and paying me extra(child support PLUS what ever you two agree on for the house or maybe he would also take any/all debt you both have) $1900 a month is really high. You need to find something that is not that expensive, but is still nice enough for you and your girls. Keeping the house with that high of payment will just get you into financial trouble that you don't need.
Sorry you are going through this.
~C.

I'm very sorry you are having to deal with all of this. I know you don't want to use a lawyer, but using one isn't always about hate or anger. Sometimes you just need a third party to help you figure out what is fair and beneficial to both of you as well as your children. You could even see a lawyer together as a mediator, not to fight each other, but to respectfully provide advice and guidance to you both. There are probably things that come up or could come up down the road that neither of you are thinking about now. A lawyer would have enough experience to know what these things are and help you plan for them together. This is new to you and emotional. A lawyer, if you can afford one, would be able to help you sort your needs out based on facts and figures.
Good luck to you and wishing you strength.

It sounds like a crappy deal. He is essentially leaving you, let him find another place to live, let him jump through hoops. Personally, I think the house should be sold & you should both start fresh. And really, why do 2 dudes need THAT much house?

He may be playing nice now, but once things start not going his way, things can & will turn ugly real quick. I would get a lawyer, personally, to protect you, your money, property & kids.

Get a lawyer.

Get a lawyer.

Get a lawyer.

If your husband can afford the mortgage on the house (even with a roommate) then he can afford to pay you a SUBSTANTIAL amount in child support PLUS temporary spousal support (until you get back to FT work) so that YOU AND YOUR GIRLS can stay in the house and he can go get an apartment. Of course a house that size is way more than you need, so I would push to sell it and move into a place half the size that you can afford.

No...no....no do not agree to this. No way. You need a lawyer. You need to split every thing up fairly...what you describe is NOT FAIR. You will need child support and alimony support. Do not take this meager offer. I know tht you want to keep this friendly....but you need a lawyer.

Do not agree to this. get the house appraised and you are due half of the proceeds if you were to sell it outright to someone else. if he wants to buy it then he needs to come up with the money to give you. or you both agree to whatever the amount is and he has to give it to you when the house is sold. also his "give you money from the friend" etc won't fly in court. he will be given a set amount of money as child support and maintenence until you get on your feet. I agree to your not taking on a 1900 house payment. but don't agree to any quick stuff. get a lawyer and protect yourself. sounds like he wants a party house.

I admire your willingness to work this out with out going through the courts and spending ALL that $$ on lawyers and such and give you mad props for staying civil towards each other! Now, with that being said...how about a compromise?

He gets to keep the house AND he takes your name off of it so you are no longer responsible for it BUT you get an appraisal done, figure out how much equity you guys have, as of this minute, then he refinances it and takes out 1/2 the equity and you get that. I think it is a bit unfair that he is asking you to walk away from the house empty handed, b/c that IS what he is asking you to do. When the time comes that he does eventually sell it (and you really have NO idea when that time will be) he will make $ off the house and I think you are entitled to some of that $.

In regards to the $650 a month child support...I am thinking that might be a tad low? Not sure though about what yours and his income is...I suggest sitting down together and looking online at your states Child Support calculator...most states have websites where you can go and you guys just plug in all your numbers (together) and see what $figure$ it spits out at you? Then go from there and if you need to adjust accordingly you can but at least you both will be informed on what the dollar amount would be if you did go through the courts...that way you won't feel like you are getting hosed and he wont feel that he is either, ya know what I mean?!

Don't know what to say about the 'roommate" situation? The other ladies say something about a 'morals clause' but do keep in mind that whatever you put in for him will apply to you as well. The way you stated it, it is almost like your husband is saying he 'needs' the roommate to pay you any $....which CAN NOT be the case...he is gonna have to pay you child support no matter what (based off his work pay/salary), unless you guys are going to do the 50/50 split with custody??

Don't forget to figure out health care expenses...and who is gonna be responsible for paying/carrying the health insurance and the dental insurance? *My husband and his ex-wife BOTH carry insurance for their kids...so they are double covered and this has worked out really good.

You also need to have writing put in (whatever document you guys write up and have notarized) about future expenses like sports, braces, and all the extras that will and do come up. And don't forget about who claims the kids on the taxes? *My husband and his ex-wife each claim one child, which works b/c they only have 2 kids like you....if I were you, I would ask for the youngest one b/c there is a really big gap in your kids' ages.

Good Luck!

I have several friends who got divorced and in most cases the wife stayed in the house with the kids and he paied the mortgage and moved to the apartment.Some sold the house and moved on.Not sure what your husband was thinking when offering this to you.

Just wondering if you have an update for us? Best wishes!

Even if you had a legal document you would need to sue him if he didn't follow through.

I almost suggest letting him life in the house by himself and you move in with family for a while. He has the job, so he can afford to keep it right now.

Not a good idea... Two men would never need 2800 sf. You both need to sell the house and each take half the monies to put towards a new residence. He then needs to pay child support as well as continue to pay the daycare costs of the eldest child. You and he can split the cost of childcare for the baby - which will be more expensive.

Lots of luck!!!

Whoa. Your instincts are right about a few things and these are the most important in your case - No, you do not want to remove your name from the deed. No, you do not want your children staying in a house where a single stranger is living.

Lastly, your husband's plan seems to assume that you will get re-married "soon". This should not be an assumption. And it gives me the chills that a grown man would choose to send his wife and children off to a small apartment while he stay in a large home because that's "all he has".

To keep the peace, I suggest sharing your primary concerns (house deed and stranger) and recommend speaking to a lawyer for a consultation just to "get ideas" on ways other couples have managed this. In this way, you present your meeting with a lawyer as simply a fact-finding mission.

Good luck.

You have awesome advice and since what I would say is in pieces in your other responses i will just say when you get the house (which your crazy if you don't lol) and he pays the mortgage... do NOT let your daughters just chill with dad and his single guy rmmate. I assume he'd still have them around in an apt he lives in. He is insane thinking that is okay. I'd do the run the numbers lawyer and attempt for no overnights if he has roommates or something to that effect. He sounds selfish to throw yall out of the house and naive when it comes to children around other adults like that.
He's trying to take advantage of you, my ex tried it too.. we didn't have a house but had other stuff and he was a dangerous person in general for my lil one to be around.
And if he is still smoking weed then you need to opt for supervised visits. If he's high he's not responsible and if his weed smoking friends are over they get high and aren't responsible and aren't thinking clear. It's a bad situation to put kids into :) Good luck :)

YOU NEED A LAWYER!!!!!!! Don't do anything on "he said/she said" - if not for you, then for your kids.

get a lawyer!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my sister tried to resolve her marriage this way and it was a train wreck. the only people who can even hope to divorce without legal council are young and have no children. get a laywer, get a lawyer, get a lawyer.............today. best of luck. :-) S.

Lawyer lawyer lawyer!