What Keeps You up at Night?

I know what you mean.

Over the years, I've trained myself to have a little box in my head. Into that box, I put all my worries and anxieties that I *CANNOT CONTROL* and leave them there. Sometimes I will pull them out and give myself permission to think about then, freak out about them, cry about them for a while. But then they go back into the box, because to leave them out would mean crippling anxiety which would disrupt my life...and I don't have time for that. It's taken me many years to learn that I MUST NOT worry about things out of my control. And if something is IN my control, then I should go ahead and deal with it.

Although troubling, the events of the news don't affect me much anymore, they fall into the "out of my control" category. My biggest worry right now is what will my son do after HS graduation. He's on the Autism Spectrum and has so many issues which will make his adult life so very difficult. I worry about him, but at the same time, I know there are things his dad and I can do to help him be a successful adult. I have no doubt that he WILL be fine, but getting there will be hard and seeing him struggle is always difficult.

So, yeah, sometimes I end up staying awake at night thinking about "stuff", but more often than not, I'm able to use that box in my head to lock away my worries...at least until I fall asleep.

What keeps me up at night? On a bad night, ALL of the things you've mentioned. On a good night, spending some adult time with DH. I try really hard to put all the bad stuff out of my mind but it's hard. I'm often up until 2 or 3 am too.

It really upsets me when people make assumptions about other people's financial situation. Until you walk in someone else's shoes, don't assume anything. Maybe she worries about the income because they have been through years of escalating medical costs and bad health, none of which is their fault. This is a woman who has taken in foster children and takes care of her FIL in order to give them a better life, probably to her own financial detriment. And maybe she's not the wealthiest of people, but what Gamma has provided to others many of us never would.

Life insurance is the very last thing those of us who have lived in poverty think about. When you are concerned only about living day-to-day, paying the bills every month, and feeding/clothing/housing whomever depends on you, end of life issues get pushed to the back of the line. Only those born into privilege have a hard time understanding that, and it shows a lack of empathy and compassion to say, "Well, if you would have planned better you wouldn't be in this spot, so it's your own fault!" What kind of person deals a blow like that to someone who needs comfort and is here looking for commiseration?

The other night I had a Coke with dinner. That was a mistake. I should know better than to have caffeine after 5pm.

In all seriousness though, I remember reading a study that rates of depression are higher in people with high IQs. I'm not sure where the news media falls into that equation, but I imagine that with intelligence comes a desire to be informed. So there's a correlative factor there.

I sleep rather poorly when my husband is away. We're both in the military, and when he's away on duty I find that I have odd dreams, wake often, and have a difficult time getting up with the alarm. The night before last, I was dozing and I swear there was a woman standing over my bed when I looked up. Scared me so much that I gasped, reached out, and then had to turn on the lamp. I know I was dreaming, but I don't ever have these kinds of dreams when my husband is at home.

Anyhow, I guess that's a round about answer. I pray your husband gets well very soon and returns home.♥

I wonder if you tend to be a very sensitive person.

The study should have said, for some people current events and news can be a contributor to depression . Or People with depression should avoid unsettling news if it upsets them.

You have stated on here you do know that depression is a chemical imbalance in a persons brain. So outside forces, could make you sad or upset, so in a healthy brain a person could work to move on or past bad news, warnings and loss.. We compartmental these things into. what we can handle and what we cannot. What we can control and what is out of our control.

Where a unbalanced brain needs assistance, so avoiding things that can upset THAT person with things that could be a problem for them.

I need to be informed. I cannot abide people that speak about things thy have no knowledge of. It is frustrating when they do not wanto or cannot be told the truth. With facts we can deny, but that does not make us well rounded people. We have a right to say, well that may be the truth but I do not like it, but to try to tell a person that has the truth, that is not true, makes us look frightened and ignorant.

I have learned to say." I did not know that." "I had not heard that. I am going to research that further, give me your source for this information."

Or I can state the source of information for what I am stating.. OR I can say, "this is my opinion.". or "This is how I feel about this."

Sometimes a person that speaks with no facts, can really be setting themselves up to be frightened of change. Frightened of the unknown and end up isolated because they are not able to move along with all of the changes and new information that everyone around them have knowledge of.

I always ask myself. Is this information that could be a possibility for me and my family?

Is there anything I can do with this information?

Is this something I can help solve or change?

If no is the answer I move on. If it is something I can control in my life I take action.

Life is not something we can control or hide from.

If we try to control everything or cannot change or hear ideas and actual news, our world becomes very small.

We will meet less people, We will hear less ideas, We really miss out on progress and change.

A lifetime can be very long and lonely if we do not participate.
Families grow up, they change, they become their own people and that is good. It means we raised them to think for themselves! That is an accomplishment.

It in no ways offends me when our daughter disagrees with our choices or beliefs, because she can articulate to us her point of view and we honor that. It means we have raised a woman who can think and make her own decisions and that is the goal.

Worry keeps me awake at night, but I worry more about things I can control. I am a news junky so I read the paper and listen to the all news radio station. I don't tend to stay up at night worrying about it. We are big planners, so we are prepared financially for deaths or job losses. My parents and in-laws are dead, so we don't have to worry about aging parents. We are in pretty good health. Our kids are healthy. I worry about the more mundane, such as my "to do" list, home repairs and renovations, what to wear, what to make for breakfast. First world problems, I know. When you don't have big things to worry about the small things lose perspective...Also, if I have caffeine anytime past 4:00pm I am up all night. When I can't sleep chamomile tea, watching something boring on tv or getting out of bed to do housework help me get to sleep.

Like you, worrying can definitely keep me up at night. There is nothing worse than waking up at 3 a.m. and allowing your mind to start thinking.

I did wake up around 5 this morning and start worrying just a little about ebola, but I managed to stop it and go back to sleep for some much needed rest.

Family issues are usually the things that keep me awake, vs. world issues.

Sometimes when I'm worrying, I remind myself of this quote by the Dalai Lama: “If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”

I just started taking melatonin and Sleepytime tea, and although I get up to pee three times a night, it seems to be working.

I up and very awake at night worry about the world my children will be living in after I am gone. The thing is, that I am usually able to sleep well, but lately, things do seem to be getting more crazy.

I worry about my gay son. I worry about the possibility of him being attacked (a young gay man was just murdered in a hate crime here in the Bay Area, so it does happen, even here.) I worry about people who truly hate gay people. I have encounters all the time where I have to lie in order to protect my son. That kind of stuff makes a person anxious.

I worry about my African-American nephew who is growing up in a city where just simply who he is means that he is considered to be dangerous. (He has already had some experiences like this.)

I worry about the environment. We are in the middle of a huge drought. It is horrifying.

I worry about gang violence.

I don't worry about money, but I do worry that I am working so much that I am some how damaging my children. I never did seem to work out a good family life/career balance. I love not having to worry about money as I grew up very poor, but I do feel that I have had to make other sacrifices.

I too try to avoid a lot of the news. I can't read the paper without crying.

I stay up thinking about dying and my to-do list. I have an elaborate plan of what I would do if my hubby were to die. It begins with calling my best friend, telling her to quit her job, and then we'd move near another friend of mine. Together, we'd all start a bakery/cafe. I'd first fund the kids college funds fully, but hubby has lots of insurance. I'm more worried about how I would get up every day without him, with three small kids. He is my rock.

I'm slowing down too. A toddler at 42 is silly. I'm a very energetic, fit 42 year old, passing more for 32, but this toddlers is killing me.

It is scary to me that you think that their thesis was correct! That isn't depression, that is exactly how one's mind acts when given a question close to going to sleep that it cannot find the answer to!

I took calculus when I went back to college which meant I was building on knowledge I learned 20 years earlier. I took it as a night class so after every class I got the worst night's sleep ever because my brain was compelled to keep working the formulas until it was comfortable with the new knowledge. Thank god it was a summer class but that wasn't depression, no one in their right mind would call that depression.

Were you are Phoenix or something? Trying to figure out what school would call that a depression study.

If someone is trying to make sense of what they saw on the news they will have a sleepless night but that isn't depression. Lord!

Might I suggest you stop perseverating on things you do not understand just before going to bed? I had no choice with my calculus class but you have a choice. At times this happens to all of us but you choosing going to bed as your time for thoughtful analysis? Seems much easier to stop doing that than inaccurately calling it depression.

ADDED: So times are tough, I hear you. All the more reason you should spend a few minutes a week staying informed. You do have some power over the greater direction of society. If past generations used hard times as an excuse not to participate in the process of democracy where would we all be now? I think there are a lot of people all over the world who are living in misery and would give anything for the right to learn and vote.

So you have purposefully stayed uniformed about current events because of a single study carried out years ago? I really question the logic of that.

I think all Americans owe it to ourselves and our children to stay informed and use that knowledge to make life decisions. How do you vote without gathering information about what's going on around you?

I get that we all have times when the stresses of our personal lives cause sleepless nights. I think it's human nature to go there once in a while even though we know worrying won't change a thing.

It's the bigger, societal and world issues that we can have an impact on. You can't help to solve the problems you know nothing about. You know what really worries me? The complacency of my fellow citizens.

ETA: Life insurance is not just for the rich. The premiums are very low when you are younger. I have been in insurance over 25 years and so is my husband. I can't tell you how many calls we get from people who are seniors and just then want a quote on life insurance. But if you think it's too much when you're younger, you can't get it at all when you're older. I wasn't being unsympathetic to her situation. I'm actually probably more sympathetic than most because I hear it all the time and it makes me very sad. And I didn't assume anything, she flat out said, "I'm worried about what I will do for income when my hubby goes". A life policy is there for that exact reason. That's all I'm saying and maybe some younger family will see this and start to plan ahead while they can.

Original: I'm sorry you are feeling like this but you are a perfect example of a family who appears to have not planned financially. Most of your worry seems financial and getting a life insurance policy in place when you're younger and healthier would put your mind at ease for your financial years when you're older.

That being said, our pastor spoke about worry a few weeks ago. It's a very high percentage, like 93% or something, that what we worry about will never happen, or if it does, it's something that we couldn't change anyway.

The only news I watch is Sunday Morning on CBS which is on right now. I'm not big on getting bad news every single morning and evening which is what the daily news is. And I'm in AZ so I already know what the weather will be. LOL

It sounds like the things keeping you up is normal life issues. Maybe you can seek some counseling or friends who are in your same age group that can support you. What about checking out a church that can help guide you also?

I don't know that you can do anything to help your husbands heath issues, nor can you slow your FIL down from aging. And I don't think you can add to your income to pump up money for your future unless you win the lottery since you are older and don't simply have the years to put into.

That being said, you didn't ask about all that but I hope you can find something that makes you feel better. What keeps me up at night is peeing. lol Good luck.

Work stresses keep me awake when they get particularly serious. My husband's depression and associated behaviour also causes anxiety. Money troubles used to keep me up, but I've sorted those.

If you're a Christian (I'm agnostic), you can simply hand over your troubles to Christ or God to take care of. How nice is that? It must be a wonderful thing to have faith.

Different things keep me up sometimes . . . and usually it is weird stuff like why my first marriage ended, etc. Things I can't change, so why am I worrying about them?

If my son is out late working I will wake up with a jolt if he hasn't texted me that he's home (he usually does).

For some reason news stuff doesn't get to me but I don't watch much news either.

Hope your husband gets back on his feet and feeling better soon Gamma G.! And I hope you get some rest!

I do stay up on current events. I work in a library- it's inevitable. I have to say foreign terrorists and deadly viruses do not worry me. It's more of the things that happen close to home. In the last two weeks, several children locally have been hit (one killed) while waiting or getting on the school bus. Two of the accidents have been hit and run. Several teenage kids have been in fatal accidents in the last couple of months. I feel so bad for their families, and it's so sad. These are the types of things that keeps me up.
I read before bed. This is how I relax, and when I am drifting off, I try to think about the story I am currently reading. I have found this helps.

What keeps me up at night? Menopause.
That's about it.
IME, it's almost never the stuff you worry about that actually happens.
It's the stuff from left field.
If there's a topic that concerns you? DO something to decrease the likelihood if devastation if it happens.
For example: death/death of a spouse: get life insurance, set up so eone to be a guardian of the minors, etc.
For example: illnesses: hand wash, look vigilantly for symptoms,etc.

Truthfully, for me, some of the most concerning topics are US on US tragedies--school shootings, police brutality, low minimum wage, tax decreases for the 1%, and political gridlock. Every day stuff--not the bogeymen across the world.
Ebola? Be GLAD you live in the US with sanitation and running water! Get informed. Knowledge is power. Knowledge=positive action.
I think your professor did you a great disservice by suggesting it's better to live in an uninformed box. It's never good to live with your head on the sand. Uninformed people tend to believe everything they're told.
Hope your hubby is just fine. Get info and an action plan from the doc.
Good luck!

I don't loose sleep over the news. I don't dwell on and panic over it. The facts are that the news overblows and over sensationalizes it to get you to watch.
Just to pick one thing you posted about. More kids catch and die from RSV than EV-D68. Don't see me panicking over RSV either. Use Common Sense. Wash up, avoid those that are sick etc. The vast majority of people getting it are not having issues, those that are have other underlying issues. I am no more concerned with this than I am with any other virus my kids could get. I would prefer them not to get sick but if they do, oh well, we take care of them.

Things that keep me up at night...
Hormones in over drive. Menopause is fun...not.
My kids. Between what's that sound or light or nightmares or I need a cup of water or whatever.
The cats. We have 4 cats. It is not out of the ordinary for any 2 of them to think it's time to wrestle with each other on top of me while I attempt to sleep. They also choose as I'm trying to fall asleep to insist that they get my undivided attention. Never mind they had all day to have asked for it.
My husband snoring. Thankfully this is not nightly, but still.
Back to my kids. I have a couple of sleep walkers and sleep talkers that keep me on my feet.
Every so often I will do a run down of what needs to be done and what didn't get done but only if I an seriously stressed out from other things during the day.

The rest. So much of it is out of my control. Staying up all night worrying about things I can do nothing about beyond the obvious Common Sense things is just not worth it. I hear about it, voice a concern in conversation with my husband perhaps and move on with my life. No obsessing, no sleepless nights.

Gamma G., this is so well-written. You should try to get it published on some online magazine.

For me, I lie awake thinking that if I died in my sleep, how will my things (and which things would) be packed up to be shipped to my family. I live alone and away from any nearby relatives. Thank God for good co-workers who definitely would call and get the building to open the door to see if I am okay. But, yes, that keeps me awake and with a somewhat a clean home---just in case...

Blessing to your husband's recovery and to you FIL's health and long life.

I have gotten caught up in those kind of worries. You can really depress yourself continuously. I've written out a will, and my husband and I will get it all formal and legal and stuff. Once that happens, it will lessen some of that worry. I'm not afraid of death , myself. It's losing anyone else that terrifies me. Especially my son . Anytime he is sick, I get sick with worry.

Now it isn't healthy for me, so I have started using essential oils to help relaxation, and diminish anxiety symptoms. It has helpe tremendously, especially at night.

I think the main thing lately that has had an effect is ISIS. The journalist from NH and the men after him. That really got to me. As a human, as a person/ mother/ sister / friend. It's horrifying.

The main thing is to limit your exposure to a degree in which it doesn't keep you from your life. I watched so much need coverage, I would just start sobbing . Then I'd get angry, etc. keep yourself informed, but know what you can and cannot handle.

I worry about my husband and kids. That keeps me awake sometimes.

There are some things in life that happen that are beyond our control. I don't particularly watch the news much. I tend to focus more on what goes in my house. We can make plans for when certain things may occur, to reduce these fears and anxieties.

Every night, I listen to old radio shows on my iPod. There are apps that stream hundreds of episodes of a wide variety of shows for free. I usually listen to ones I've heard many times, so I know what to expect and there are no cliff hangers. Just enough noise to block out worry thoughts, the only thing that typically keeps me up. If I wake up during the night, I listen again, and I'm asleep within minutes. I don't know why it works, but when I was a young kid, CBS radio mystery theater was still on the air (early 70s) and I would listen to it and inevitably be so tired I couldn't stay awake (it came on at 9pm and it was the closest thing we had to having your own TV back then). So the habit started in childhood. It's a bad habit, but it works and it helps me sleep much better than any medication.

So, I try not to worry and don't watch the news but do keep up with some world events and politics via articles. The following occasionally have me up at night.
The idea of anything happening that would hurt my daughter ( but try not to obsess about that)
Sometimes particular situation from work ( I work with children with disabilities and there are always some that I connect with very strongly and worry about or try to problem solve when I should be sleeping)

I consider myself lucky because rarely am I kept awake at night, I normally say I'm going to bed and am asleep 15 minutes later. Last night was different, I had to watch my Pats do their thing on the football field (especially after such a poor showing the week before). And more importantly, I was replaying the last 10 years through my head....today my husband and I celebrate our 10th anniversary :).