How Can I Stop Worrying

Worry is completely normal and anxiety helps keep us from danger, but I do understand what happens when it gets out of control. The biggest thing that has helped me put perspective on life during these times comes from the Bible - Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. (Matthew 6:34 The Message)

Hi M.,This happened to me all three pregnacies.It feels as if your mind is a mouse on a wheel turning and turning with worry and it won't stop.So many woman I have talked to go through this,You are just getting ready to protect another child.You know how much you love your first child and now your body is getting you ready.I couldn't watch the news because then I would be scared something would happen to me or my children.Talk to your Doctor maybe she can give you something for anxiety while pregnant and just remeber the world can be scary,but you are blessed with one child and the future is bright because you have another miracle on it's way.Hope this helps a little :)

A little about me:

Married, stay-at-home mom with three awsome children that are my world...

It is definitely normal but absolutely controllable. Definitely discuss this with your ob next time you visit or if you are feeling particularly overwhelmed, put in a call now.

You can use something called a 'stop tactic' to stop yourself from getting all caught up in your anxious thoughts. This is going to sound really strange and hokey, but it can and does work. Put a rubber band or a stretchy elastic bracelet around your wrist. When you find yourself becoming consumed with these thoughts, reach down and pull the band or bracelet and snap yourself. You are NOT trying to hurt yourself - I am not encouraging you to inflict pain! When you pull the rubber band, literally say 'stop' to yourself. Sometimes people need a physical diversion to stop their thoughts, impulses, and cravings from spiraling out of control.

Every pregnancy is different. With my first I hated my husband and thought I needed counseling, but then vented to my mom about it and then was fine.

With my second child I cried over everything even silly commercials on tv.

With my third child my husband said I always had my dukes up ready to fight. I had the shortest temper and was still struggling greatly, though my son is 35 weeks old, until the other day when I confessed to my aunt that I was having big problems. Now I seem to be doing so much better just because I spoke about it.

And then I have the added issue of being a worrier by nature. I had a tremendous problem for quite a few years of imagining the most horrible scenarios in my mind when I would drift off to sleep. I would imagine terrible things happening to my children or my husband as I was drifting off and that would make me have terrible dreams and then I would worry myself to death about stuff I didn't know was bothering me. I would stress about everything.

I finally started praying every time I realized I was doing it. I prayed for the Lord to wipe out all those negative scenes I was depicting in my mind. I started sleeping better and worrying far less.

Sometimes I still find myself dreaming about terrorist attacks and what I will do...how will I save my children...It really is silly. I gathered up a list of items that I found on the Homeland Security web site. I have discussed with my kids what to do in case of a fire, or emergency. I have talked to them about strangers and what to do if someone tried to take them home with them (that's how I put it so I don't make them crazy with fear). I've done what I think I should to prepare in the only way I know how for terrible things or events and I leave it alone.

I find that as long as I do something that needs to be done for any given situation then at least I've tried to prepare and that eases my mind.

And then finally I have to repeat to myself that somethings I can't do anything about and I have to let it go. I pray the Lord with protect my children and family and home. I ask the Lord to send legions of angels to guard my kids...and that's all I can do. I do my part and then I ask the rest of the Lord.

Now I don't know your religious background...how you feel about God or any of that, but that's how I do it. I hope it helps in some small way.

I know there is alot of craziness going on in the world. Just remember these are you children and how you raise them and teach them is how they will turn out.

Hi M.!
I feel your pain! When I was pregnant with my daugther (who is now 10.5 months), I was constantly axious about everything! It got to the point that I didn't even like making the commute to and from work for fear of being in an accident and harming my unborn baby. There's not a whole lot you can do at this point except pray and continually remind yourself that worrying will do no good. In fact, it just puts more stress on you and your baby. The good news is this - as soon as I got my first period post-partum, my axienty went away almost completely! I know that may seem a long way off right now, but just keep in mind that your condition is temporary. As hard as this may be, just try to relax and enjoy your little one and your new pregnancy. Remember, you're not alone in this! There is so much talk about depression during and after pregnancy, but not much about anxiety. It is a real condition, though, and many women suffer from it. I'l keep you in my prayers!

Your hormones are raging. Turn the TV off! Try to put things in perspective. We have it great here in America. Just look around and then think about the families in other parts of the world who every day live in fear of attack. Think of the people going hungry every day. Take a step back, do some deep breathing and have faith that all will be fine.

We also just elected an incredible human being to help guide us into the future. We will be fine!

M.,
I am a labor doula and I have had 3 clients or potential clients in the last 3 months who are going through the same type of things! I have experience with this and would love to help you out! If you would like to send me a private message feel free!
S. Bailey CLD
Aurora
www.tendermomentsdoula.com

You probably weren't as anxious with the first pregnancy. Things are getting worse all the time and the new stations report the same bad things all day long. Don't listen to the news. Let your husband or friends tell you anything that you need to know without the gruel. Be cautous but you can't become obsessed. You must teach your kids to be leery but not afraid. Don't talk to strangers! Stay in their own yard. While they are small, you could be in the yard with them and you'll see that they will be o.k.

Well for one the hormones might be playing tricks on you, on the other hand you might feel this without if pregnant or not. Plus no pregnancies are really alike.
The world is a mess, but we all adapt to it.
After being hit upside the head by life 2-3 years ago, I started to read a lot and learned just to trust life.
It might not work for everybody, but I strongly recommend reading books like Lousie Hay: you can heal your life or books/DVD's by Dr. Wayne Dyer.
reading these books allows you to focus on you, take a breather from daily stress and worries and become more positive about your life.
Good luck.... it really worked for me, or I would be a total freak out today:-)

Hi M.! Unfortunately I'm no stranger to anxiety as I've dealt with it for many, many years and I'm sorry your experiencing it during your pregnancy. I'm actually pregnant with my second and like you am way more anxious and nervous with this pregnancy. With my first I was excited for each and every appointment, this time around I'm totally nervous for each and every appointment. Definately talk to your OB about your concerns because your constant worrying and anxious feelings are probably not good for you or baby, at least that's what I've been told. I've been on Zoloft for about 2-1/2 years now and it's really helped me but I've had to adjust to a lower dosage now that I'm pregnant and it's definately taken some time.

Good luck to you and congratulations on your pregnancy!!

It is very common to suffer from anxiety during a pregnancy, even if you haven't had as problem before. Anxiety can really impact your life if left untreated. I suffered from terrible anxiety during my pregnancy with my daughter. I waited so long to seek help because I was embarrassed about how I was feeling. What do you say to the people that constantly say stuff like, "Oh, this must be the most wonderful and beautiful time in your whole life!" "Pregnancy is the greatest gift and you must love every minute" Not that these statements can't be true, but when you are feeling crappy they don't make sense to you. I honestly was mad at myself for feeling sad during what was "supposed" to be the happiest time in my life. If you are feeling like this, don't wait it out and talk to your doctor. They can help you figure out a way to cope with it. Your anxiety may just be fleeting and go away on its own, or it could stick around. Please at least mention it at your next visit and bring it out in the open.

I remember having the same worries after my daughter was born. She was less than a month old and if I out her on the bed for a second I feared I may fall and bump my head and pass out and by the time my husband came home she would have fallen off the bed. Or I would put her down on the floor and wonder what would happen if an earthquake came and knocked the furniture down on her...o and so many more crazy things. It has gotten much better, but I still worry. I just try to avoid exposing myself to things that will make me worry and realize all parents have thought they were bringing their kids into a crazy world. It is all normal unless you start behaving irrational and I am sure family and friends will let you know when that starts to happen. Just relax and raise happy healthy kids who will make this world a little less crazy!

M....I can't totally relate to you. I felt great during my pregnancy(emotionally); I had a real sense of well-being. But that all came crashing down a few weeks after my son was born...I suffered with postpartum depression and anxiety. Because of what I went through, I would urge you, as others have, to talk to your doctor. Reading books and trying to change your thoughts are helpful pieces of advice, but sometimes it is not possible to stop this on your own. I would want someone monitoring you to make sure that it doesn't spiral out of control. In my case my OB didn't really have the knowledge to help me, so I had to see a psychiatrist. I would urge you to do the same.

Sounds like generalized anxiety disorder. It's very common, especially in mothers/women. There are some anti-anxiety medications that are safe to take during pregnancy. You can talk to you doctor about it. One of my good friends had trouble with anxiety and she took an anti-anxiety med all the way throughout her pregnancy because she knew she would be better off taking it then without it. And the baby is just fine. She of course took a med that was approved by her doctor and known to be safe during pregnancy.

Turn off the news and TV for a week- have a "news fast". Live in the moment as much as possible. Do the things you should do to create balance if possible: talk with a good friend, take a walk,have a play date with other moms and share concerns.

If you really feel like it is acute, speak with your doctor. Probably want to avoid any drugs with a pregnancy. If your doctor can suggest a good psychologist that is also great! Psychologists are not just for "crazy; a good one can be great for restoring perspective and just acknowledging the daily challenges any stay at home mom who is pregnant faces as well as helping you deal with the anxiety that you are having.

Good luck! J. (mom of 2 and grandma of 2!)

In todays world and economy its hard not to. I used to worry and be anxoius about so many things- it really didnt make any sense. I then went to a retreat at my church last feb (CHRP) and it really changed me and my way of thinking. before that I used to hang out with people that had the same negative thinking and I really broke free of that- I still see them on occasion but I have new friendships. I also learned when I felt that way- no many people want to be around you because it brings them down- this also had an affect on my now 8 year old who was very negative so when we sat down to dinner at night we each had to name 3 things we were thankful for and would write it down and we could not repeat it- try that for 3 weeks- then each day we were looking for something to be positive about.

I know what you mean - I was the same way with my daughter. I worried so much when she was an infant. I was sure she was going to die while we were sleeping or something else just as horrible. I still constantly worry about her making her way through the world and avoiding all the bad people out there.

If you feel like your worries are preventing you from doing things or impacting your life too much (i.e. no sleep, not doing fun things so nothing bad happens) I'd talk to your OBGYN.

I would also have your thyroid level checked. Hypothyroidism can lead to anxiety/depression. Although the "normal" range is OK for nonpg women, if you are pg, you should be in the ideal range. Different doctor's offices have different ranges but they are usually 1-5 or 1-4. If your doc's office says 1-5, you should be in the range of 2-3. If it's 1-4, it should be under 2.5. Don't let them tell you it's OK because it's in the "normal range." If your level is above 4.0 on a 5.0 scale, you can have some of the same symptoms as someone outside of the "normal" range. Just get it checked - you are probably perfectly fine and this is just normal pg jitters, but it can't hurt.

I also agree with the thought control. Whether you use a rubberband or just mentally stop yourself. I have anxiety issues and when my thoughts start to go to anxiety mode, I literally just mentally say, no, I'm not going to go there and replace that train of thought with something I love: I can't wait to watch ER tonight; What should I make for dinner? I'm so glad it's Saturday, etc.

First, I think this is very "normal" and you are not alone. Second, have you ever done yoga? I know this sounds odd. But since I have been going to yoga three times a week I have been sleeping better, feeling better mentally and yoga will also help you stay fit during pregnancy. Opening your chest is a big thing mentally and as your breast grow and the urge to protect that belly makes you curl your shoulders over it does effect your mind. (I know, way out there, but try it!) Can't hurt!