How are you coping with needs of your child for her dad and the needs of your own for your husband? We are enrolled in groups and clubs, we stay busy but that doesn't work. I joined a gym, lost weight but that doesn't work but I lose weight and feel great. I look like I did before my amazing daughter was born and my drive has increased with every pound lost. I need advise, please.
My daughter is 6 years old and she is wonderful. My husband is overseas and he working for a private company. The economy have made it difficult for my husband to work here. We have only seen him on skype. He signed a contract to work for a year. I swaer I didn't know it would be this hard on me and my daughter. How do I help her constant sadness and my lonliness and my going through puberty animal crazy drive. Taking the bull but the horns (I think you mean self satisfaction) doesn't work for me. We are the busiest girls(my daughter and I)and nothing stops the feeling of this hole in our gut.
I think this is a conversation you need to have with your husband.
I don't know how old your child is, but I will say that family dynamics DO change when children are born.... there is another person to consider in the family now.
I'm not really sure where you are having the problems.... your post is rather vague...
There is also the possibility that this may be tied in with a post-partum depression... you may want to talk to a professional about this.
Are you talking about the fact that he is not home because of his work?
Or he is not around emotionally?
Or both.
I noticed in 2008 you were having this problem back then.. This has now been 3 years. You need to speak honestly with your husband and also you physician.
Losing weight is great, but if you are not happy in your heart, you need to figure out the reason why. Be HONEST with yourself. If you cannot say it out loud to your self, no one else can help you.
You are also not alone. Many of us out here have been where you are. It is very normal. But YOU are in charge of your own happiness.
Your child deserves a mother that is healthy physically, but mostly emotionally. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help and to expect to be happy. You deserve this so ask for the help.
I am sending you strength. People want to help you. It is a gift you give to them, when you ask them to help you in tough times.
Aaahhh your question became much clearer in the follow up So What Happened..... If you reread your question... you probably saw why everyone was so clueless as how to reply. Thanks for clearing it up.
Have you considered finding a neighborhood church that has a good program for kids and young families? A lot of churches have small groups that you could get involved in and the people there might be a wonderful extra support group for you during this time. Thankfully, a year goes by pretty fast and you have that to look forward to.
I do encourage you to not let your daughter feel your sadness. Spare her those grown up feelings. A kid feels helpless and out of control if she sees her mom sad and crying all the time. These are her formative years and even though this year is darn hard...it too will pass... take it from a mom who knows...three years from now will be a blink of an eye to you someday and another and then another, till you wonder where they all went...
Six years old is such a magical time and this time of year should be all about making happy memories for your daughter. Get into the spirit of her little heart and take her to sit on Santa's lap... go to church on Christmas...look forward to your husband's return and how he will be blown away by your weight loss. These my dear ... in your young life... really are the good old days... believe me... you will look back and remember them as not so bad thirty years from now. I guarantee it.
God bless~
Your question is slightly confusing...do you mean you want to have sex with your husband but he seems not to be into it? If that's the case I strongly suggest you just take the bull by the horns, so to speak! Intimacy can be difficult after a child is born, especially the first born, because you have this whole new being, you're tired, everything has a new perspective, etc. BUT, seriously once you do it you'll remember how fun it was and how you got that baby in the first place! ;)
If you're the one with the issue, then my advice is basically the same. Personally I think for women it's easier to go longer without it once it's been a while...I mean we find ourselves slightly more content, so once again, just take the bull by the horns, you'll be happy you did!
And...if this isn't your question at all, well sorry, but my mind usually goes straight for the gutter!
Congratulations on your weight loss. It sounds like you may be a little depressed so I'd start with my doctor as something as simple as a thyroid issue can make you feel like you are lonley and never enough. Fix you and happiness will come easier as no one else can make you happy it is from within.
Why don't you move over to where he is for the summers?? I'm of course assuming that he is in the private sector....
my husband is gone months on end. He is India born, and his job also requires him to manage teams in India. So on occasion he has to go there to manage. So while its not a year, its several months each year. Its hard. I can totally relate. Skype sometimes makes it harder, because you can see and hear him but you cant touch him. Sucks. I do keep busy as well, sex is not that hard for me cause I lost my drive after the 3rd kid. In that area I am fine when he is gone. However I suffer greatly for not having another human around. Especially at night or morning coffee. Thats the time we get to talk together for hours. Sometimes I just need a human hug and its not there. I get a bit weepy. My kids usually are ok for the first week or so but about 3 weeks in they get to missing him. Its not easy, we just deal. What your doing is about all ya can do. Just dont give into urges and start messing around. That will really ruin everything!!
I'm not sure how to help, but I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of and praying for you.
After a 2nd reading, it sounds (your post is pretty vague, so it really is rather difficult to know exactly what the issue is) as if your husband is not returning to his pre-parenthood desires for you? Is that it? If so, then Jo W is right. You need to talk to him, and maybe let him go with you to any follow up Dr appts you have. Some men are "scared" to touch you after you have given birth. Some men aren't "scared" so much as mentally everything changes to you being a "mommy" figure. You have to talk to HIM to find out what is going on. If it is the former, then perhaps a visit and discussion with your doctor will help. If it is the latter, or something else, then you might need him to talk to a different kind of doctor.
Best wishes.
After your "So what happened" : That information rather changes the whole question I think the rest of us thought you were asking, lol. Not sure how to help with that, I have never had to do that. Maybe some of the military spouses on this site will be able to make some good suggestions.
<<hugs>>
