What Age to Teach About Racism? Not 4 Years Old! ???

Updated on January 21, 2013
G.O. asks from Brooklyn, NY
39 answers

The preschool (age 2-4) that my almost 4 year old attends recently taught the kids about MLK and about being black / white.

While I support this kind of education / knowledge to ensure we don't go back to that kind of ignorance, I'm a bit angry with the school for teaching them about racism at such a young age. My daughter (and most kids at this age) sees NO difference in skin color - they don't care who they play with as long as they are nice. I don't feel it was appropriate to take teaching of MLK to the next level to include racism at this age.
UPDATED: I should also point out after reading so many responses that the kids in my kids preschool actually did hear the story about Rosa Parks - which I do not think is appropriate for a 3-4 year old.

Anyone else have thoughts on this (about what is age appropriate)?

I plan on taking the issue up with the school, but want a sanity check from you wonderful moms to make sure I'm not off my rocker.

Thanks!

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

At 4, my daughter heard someone use the N-word, and promptly told them, "That's not a nice word. You say you're sorry!"

It's unfortunate, but even if they don't hear about it at home, they are going to be exposed to both blatant and subtle racism in the big bad real world. The sooner they know what it is and how not to give in to it, the better.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

There is nothing wrong with teaching children to embrace differences. There is also nothing wrong with explaining that MLK and his message are important, because at one time, people did not embrace these differences. It's a part of history that needs to be addressed. Now if the school started talking race riots and fire hoses at this age, I might be upset. But merely explaining that there are differences is fine.

Even Sesame Street addresses skin color.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ce0yGNG_VEU

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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

I have not read any of the other responses, so forgive me for repeating anything, but simply pointing out that there are people of different races is not "racism". Racism is believing that one race is superior or inferior to all others - that is not what the school is teaching. Children may notice differences in skin color or whatever all on their own - acknowledging those differences is not racist. Racist would be not wanting to be friends with someone simply because they are Black, Latino, Asian, whatever. Or believing that being that race automatically imparts on them certain traits, or that they do not have the same rights as everyone else. Teaching children about Martin Luther King Jr. is teaching them about a man who believed that racism is wrong, who stood up for what he believed in, and that made him a hero. Otherwise, they may not understand why he was important, or why we have a national holiday to honor him. Children can be taught that racism does exist, but that is also what makes it possible to explain to them why it is wrong.

"The Sneetches" is a children's story by Dr. Suess that addresses this very topic - that basically judging others by their appearance, their race, their skin color, etc., and excluding them, is wrong and should not be tolerated.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Here's your sanity check:

In short, what this really amounts to is 'what happens when one group of people believes they are better than another group of people?"

Have you never heard a four year old group of kid shouting 'no boys allowed!" or 'no girls allowed'? Kids do understand exclusion, even at that age, whether race is involved or not. So, to introduce race is not a huge jump for kids.

As a preschool teacher, I used a book by Katie Kissinger in my curriculum every year; it's called "All the Colors We Are" and discusses race through examining *how* individuals got their skin color (through their parents, their ancestors, and the places they lived--which has largely to do with the melanin their bodies did or did not produce). We discover through this study that NONE of us are exactly the same and learn to value our uniqueness.

That said, I do believe that we should be open in discussing race with our kids. When my son was about 3.5 years or so, he met one of my husband's African-American coworkers and when the gentleman went to shake my son's hand, Kiddo whispered "chocolate hand" in amazement.

We do have other friends who are black/African-American, but for some reason, this moment made a big impression on him. Kids do notice differences--it's just that young children don't usually actively discriminate against children of other races, so it does appear to adults that "kids don't see color".

In the book "Nurtureshock", authors Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman explicitly combat the notion that kids don't need guidance when it comes to race. In fact, their research showed that parents who didn't speak to their kids about race and give positive messages about people of other races had kids who were MORE likely to think in stereotypes and racist ways than parents who did discuss it and actively encouraged their kids to enjoy friends from races other than their own. Granted, we don't all always have these opportunities, but to say that kids don't see difference is incorrect, from my point of view. They don't always discuss it with us (and sometimes, that's because we don't open up those conversations), however, I am sure that my preschoolers noticed that skin would be different colors just in the same way they brought up eye color, hair color (who had which ones) or who was wearing the neat tee shirt or dress.

My son will likely be discussing Dr. Martin Luther King,Jr at school this week. We've mentioned him several times; our city has a street named after him, so it's a no-brainer for us. Just like the book 'The Sneetches' by Dr. Suess, we've talked about how it used to be that white people were considered to be 'better' than people with dark skin and how wrong that was. One of his older friends introduced him to the story of Rosa Parks and how she stood up to silly ideas regarding race by sitting down, and so we've discussed that. By not discussing it, I believe we shroud our experience of race in shame. We have also briefly touched on slavery and servants, without a lot of heavy-duty drama or going into a lot of detail-- and this was in answer to his direct questions.

For me, what is 'age appropriate' is what my son asks me about. We watch nature videos which show peoples from around the world, so that's another way to introduce a more 'global' perspective of humanity.

by the way: I grew up in Honolulu, the only white kid in my extended family there (my mom's second husband, my adoptive father, and his family are all Filipino)... believe me, there was an awareness, even if it wasn't openly discussed. But even at four, kindergarten kids teased me for being white... kids DO see color. And you'd better believe my son knows that two grandpas are have light skin and one grandpa is brown, as is his auntie (my half-sister). It's just who our family is.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

MLK day is a part of life, our history and history is taught in school.

I taught 1st grade on Friday and MLK was the entire topic of language arts and Integrated curriculum. Our curriculum is well balanced.

There will be a lot of topics, actions, etc that you may not be 100% ok with that are in the curriculum of your children's schools.

Choose your battles with the schools wisely or you'll be one of those parents who's known for complaining about something all the time. Rest assured that this type of parents are well known among the staff.

There are some parents we just tippy toe around because there is no way they will ever be pleased.

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

Reading over some of these answers I am reminded how very important it is that children be taught our history and how racism has always played a part from slavery to this very day.

Racism and prejudice come in many forms sometimes it's an outright violent or aggressive action. Sometimes it's a slur or shared "joke", sometimes it's exclusion or even built right into the structure of our society.

Most often I notice it's subtle, the insistence that color doesn't matter, that we don't need to focus on THAT anymore because we're past it. That we should just teach "equality" and leave out all that unpleasant, guilt inducing history. To me that is the most dangerous form of prejudice because we will not teach future generations the devastating, long enduring consequences of certain parts of our American history.

Don't sweep under the rug what you don't want to find during your next spring cleaning.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Wow Jo W, talk about white guilt!!!
Avoiding or leaving out unpleasant parts of our history is not the way to educate our children.
MLK was an important man, and an important leader during a pivotal time in fairly RECENT U S history. Our children should absolutely learn about him and civil rights in general, the same way they should learn about genocide (Native Americans) slavery, the holocaust, women's rights and past wars.
Of course this should all be taught at an age appropriate level, and obviously not all of these subjects are appropriate for preschool.
Sugarcoating the past, or trying to pretend it never happened, is incredibly irresponsible.
When history is forgotten, we are doomed to repeat it.
We should never, ever forget, and never let our children forget, what injustices and horrors mankind is capable of!

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

how do you teach them about MLK without the subject of racism coming up?
i completely disagree with jo that a simple discussion of the subject equates 'white guilt.'
like most sticky topics, the 'teaching' about racism is a spectrum, not something they've got their faces jammed into at one particular age. kids who are raised with a slowly evolving consciousness about these subjects integrate them organically. at what age would a child suddenly be old enough to understand it? it's a conversation that ideally takes place in the home as well as at school. it's not something that's taught per se, it's something that kids learn through living. and school is part of that process.
ETA teaching about things that actually happened in this country and still affect it today isn't 'black history and white history', it's accuracy. i'm a fan.
anything else would be whitewashing. :X ;)
khairete
S.

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

White guilt?! Huh?!?

"Mama, who was martin luther king? Why is he famous and celebrated?"

THIS is the context and it makes perfect sense to explain how the world was then, and why he was such an important figure. How can you possibly talk about him (who is the reason my kids won't be in school tomorrow) without talking about skin color and prejudice? And also about courage and strength and compassion and equality and inspiration.

ETA: it can always be talked about in age appropriate terms, editing out violence and extreme stories, and focus on the fact the people may judge others for all sorts of external reasons, from skin color to language to what kind of car they drive, but MLK taught us to judge a person by their character and give everyone equal respect as human beings.

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

I checked out MLK Jr books and talked about it with my kids at that age. My middle son actually had a fear of black people as a toddler! It was completely bizarre as I had only ever seen little kids get along with everyone, but he needed to be taught that everyone is the same on the inside and the whole shebang. We live in a predominantly white area which I think was the source of the problem, but after talking a lot about it, taking trips to other places etc. he understands now at 5 and has no issues. He knows about Martin Luther King Jr. The kids also found the history of racism very interesting and it wasn't over their heads at 4. My oldest daughter loved Mr Luther King Jr books at that age.
I have a huge issue with the vapid nature of many school texts which is one reason I homeschool, for instance, studying the Disney book "Tangled" as "literature" in first grade, doing book reports on it, and watching the DVD (IN SCHOOL???!!!!) rather than the 1600s Rapunzel. And the literature gets worse throughout the grades in our local schools. But teaching about Martin Luther King Jr, especially for the holiday is great imo.

eidt****As for not teaching white guilt to a few posters.....huh? Are we supposed to edit history and take out the embarrassing parts? I teach my kids the right way to treat people and the many WRONG WAYS people have treated each other and still do. There are high schoolers graduating who don't know about Hitler.....don't get me started about the "wishful thinking" teaching going on in PC society. If kids don't know the depths to which people have stooped in the past and still stoop, they won't recognize the warning signs in future scenarios when they know people with those tendencies.

All that being said, the pre-school and first grade level Martin Luther King Jr books are very gentle and focus on the positive.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Sorry Jo, you've got this one all wrong. "White Guilt"? C'mon...

Teaching children about MLK and equality are absolutely age appropriate for pre-school. I'm sure they used positive messages and age appropriate materials.

Don't bring it up with the school, you'll look ignorant.

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P.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

We can't erase our history. Embrace it. Teach it. Learn from it. But it will always be there. If my 2 year old can understand that Daddy and Papa wear glasses but Mommy doesn't, I'm sure she'd notice someone had darker skin than her.

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

A couple of years ago, Newsweek published an article about a study about this. I'll post the article below, so I won't go into detail here, but the researchers concluded that speaking to children about race, the differences and the prejudices, was more effective in combating racism than less-directed conversations about loving everyone and treating everyone equally.

I personally have not yet addressed racism with my almost-four-year-old. But I see no problem with the true meaning and history of MLK Day being taught to young children. Whitewashing our history will doom us to repeat it, and frankly, just because kids don't care about our differences doesn't mean they don't notice them, and process them in their own way. I personally wouldn't take issue with the school over this, because, assuming it was addressed in an age-appropriate manner, I think it is entirely appropriate discussion.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2009/09/04/see-baby...

ETA: Rosa Parks is completely appropriate for this age group. Cross-burnings maybe not, but I can't understand what you object to about Rosa Parks' story.

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D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I agree with most here. Just because your child doesn't care what other kids look like, as long as they are nice (which is great) doesn't mean that she doesn't notice that people look different from each other.

When my son was taught about slavery in Kindergarten (yes, they talked about it in K), when he came home we discussed it. We talked about how sad that was that people treated each other that way and that what a person looks like has nothing to do with whether or not they are a good person. And how glad we are that he can go to school and play with his friend XXX (of another race), because back in those days, that wouldn't have happened.

I admit I was suprised that they discuss it at school with that age group, but I was actually glad, because it opened the door for me and gave me the opportunity to teach my son my views on the topic.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

It's true that young children don't generally care about differences but that doesn't mean they don't notice them.
I still remember going into a McDonalds years ago during a road trip. My then four year old daughter blurted out "wow mom there's lots of black people in here!" Of course I was mortified but I just smiled and quietly said to her "yes there are." Nobody said anything, but there was an older black woman behind me who gave me a giggle and a wink, which made me feel better.
Did my daughter say that because she had never seen black people? No, we live in a very diverse area, she was just making an honest observation.
And if you don't think four year olds aren't already noticing stereotypes (the place where racism begins) you are naive. Disney princesses are white, basketball players are black, housekeepers are Hispanic, etc, etc.
I think talking about race and the work of MLK is not only appropriate but crucial at the preschool level. Teaching young children compassion and tolerance is one of the most important things we can do to ensure the continued development of a healthy and accepting human population.

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

My kids are mixed race. I am white, my husband is hispanic. My eldest son is quite dark and my other two are a bit lighter. When my eldest son was about 3 I was working as a nanny for a family and the little girl, 4, asked me why my son was so dark since I was so light.
So, we talked about genetics. Why he is darker, why I am lighter, why she had red hair, why she had freckles. Of COURSE kids notice differences at that age. All of my kids have.
My kids in school (1st grade and 4th grade) have both been doing work on MLK this weekend for school on Tuesday. We have absolutely talked about racism, different colors of skin/hair/eyes and how it has nothing to do with a person's character. "I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." MLK
I highly highly highly doubt that this preschool decided to sit down with 2,3, and 4 year old children and teach them about segregation, slavery, and white/black seating in buses/bathrooms/schools.
They probably just talked about differences in skin color and equality. I see nothing wrong with that.
L.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I don't think 4 is too young at all to start teaching about tolerance and acceptance, which is what we are really teaching the kids when we tell them about our countries shameful past. My boys are older now, 7 and 9, and this year for MLK day we are watching a couple documentaries on the civil rights movements. There will be violence and things that are hard to watch, but by letting our kids see the past we help them envision a brighter tomorrow.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I just had my 5 year old ask me about Martin Luther King day. I told her that some people were silly and thought that it made a difference if your skin was a different color. Like she wouldn't be allowed to play with her best friend. I don't see anything wrong with teaching kids about it, as long as you're doing it in an age appropriate way.

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H.L.

answers from Portland on

I think it's wonderful that they teach the kids about MLK day that early! It's part of our history as a nation and teaches the children that while there are differences between us, we should all have the same rights. Never too early to start teaching tolerance toward all people or any religion or race. Kids don't care about color and it's fine to teach them early that it hasn't always been that way. My kids think it's so strange that anyone would think less of anyone who happens to have darker skin. My son describes his friends with terms of, "brown skin, dark hair" or "light hair and glasses". It's fine for them to see differences, it's how they treat others that matters.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I guess it depends on how it's taught... I'm not sure exactly what they said that was so upsetting. I have a preschool/daycare program and we talked about MLK, and did art relating to it. All my kids seemed to learn is that people are all beautiful no matter what color their skin is, and that MLK believed that all people should live in peace and be equal.

It can be taught with other exercises as well, like allowing the kids with brown eyes to go outside first or kids with blonde hair to get snack first, and then talking about why it isn't fair to give preference to someone just because they look different.

In the school my kids go to, they start teaching about MLK in kindergarten and they include more information as the grades go up. It was age appropriate and I thought it was great.

You don't know what kids are being taught at home. Racism starts early in homes where it exists, so no, I don't have a problem with it being addressed early as long as it's age appropriate.

ETA: I too was puzzled by the term "White Guilt" , so I looked it up.... "White guilt is the individual or collective guilt often said to be felt by some white people for the racist treatment of people of color by whites both historically and presently.[1] The term is generally used in a pejorative way (and in a partisan fashion within American political circles). White guilt has been cited by many conservatives and libertarians as a way for liberals and others to induce white Americans to support the policies of affirmative action and redistribution of wealth. White guilt has been described as one of several psychosocial costs of racism for white individuals along with the ability to have empathic reactions towards racism, and fear of non-whites.[2]"

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J.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Im sure on St Patricks Day, they did something for that day, and the same for valentines day, memorial day, ect. It seems normal they would do some sort of lesson for MLK day. I wouldnt make a big deal out of it. Pretending racism doesnt exist doesnt make it go away. Its always funny to me that black kids know they are black, Hispanic kids know they are Hispanic, but white people dont know what to tell their kids, so they dont tell them anything. Talking about race is like using a dirty word or something. Look at this as an opportunity to have an open dialogue with your child about race and discrimination. MLK was a very important man in our history, I think its good they are learning about him.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I don't believe white guilt should be taught at any age!

If we raise our kids to consider everyone equal, in other words no one is beneath them, this all sorts itself out. Teaching white guilt only causes people to look at each other differently.
______________________________
You don't have to teach kids some people were oppressed to teach them everyone is equal. Trust me if your kids believe that everyone is equal then no matter who is being treated badly they are there saying hey, you have no right to do that, you are no better than them!

__________________
I am sorry but why must you teach racial differences? We are all equal, teaching racial differences is the problem, not the solution.

What happens when a white kid sees a black kid bullying another black kid? They walk away because they have been taught they shouldn't judge, they don't understand, they are part of the problem. When you teach everyone is equal you will find a child will not see two black kids, they will see two kids one being bullied and get involved.

We do our children no favors acting like there is white history and black history, we are one country perhaps we need to start acting like it.
___________________________________
Wow it is just sad that people would much rather teach that people in the PAST! made unfair judgments based on race than concentrate on moving forward, lets not do that. Until we stop teaching reasons to see thing differently racism is going to continue. We teach about a lot of cultures fighting over race and then the war is over and we move to peace. Why is it in this one area we refuse to move to the point of peace? Sad, really sad.

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R.S.

answers from San Antonio on

The book that was read to my Kindergartener at school on Friday was an awesome example of telling children about who he was and what he was all about...it talked about his passion for peace and showing people love no matter how much hate or violence was aimed at you.

They talked about how people used to think that different colored skin made people different from each other and how now we know we are all the same.

They talked about how he had a dream that all people could live together in peace...and how that dream has come true in our country...they looked around at how different they all are from each other...boys, girls, black hair, brown hair, blonde hair, red hair, different shades of skin tone and that Dr. King's dream came true we are all together working/learning/living in peace.

It was beautiful the way his vision was described...and how do you not discuss skin color when talking about him...and in the public school here in Texas it is a requirement to teach about him and his life. Even about the fact he was a minister and his faith in God.

I couldn't have asked for a better discussion of him on an appropriate age level. I am glad I volunteer in our school and got to hear about him too.

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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

As long as they taught the history in an age appropriate way, I don't see why this is an issue.

Parents make the mistake of thinking that addressing differences is going to make children notice them. This isn't true. Our kids already notice that some people have darker or light skin, the same way they notice that some people have darker or lighter hair. There is nothing wrong with noticing these differences and talking about them. The book Nurture Shock has a chapter on racism and kids that is very interesting, and basically research supports the idea that we need to explicitly tell our kids that skin color does not tell us anything about who a person is, not discussing and assuming that our kids don't notice doesn't cut it.

And Jo, wth is "white guilt" and how does it relate to teaching kids about MLK?

ETA:
Sorry Jo, but you got this one wrong. Teaching that we are all equal is not the same as teaching that we are all the same. We have differences in appearance, and historically those have been used as reasons to treat groups of people as being "less than". Ignoring the past won't make it go away, and the only way forward is to acknowlege what we have done wrong and learn from the mistakes of the past. Further, I think it is naive to pretend issues of race have been resolved and no longer need to be addressed.

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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

Well, just because your child hasn't yet been exposed to ignorance doesn't mean other kids haven't. It's certainly not too young to have that conversation with a child, and just because she hasn't expressed anything doesn't mean she hasn't noticed or questioned it yet. Small children often just assume kids who are darker are dirtier. We talked with our children about human difference and acceptance from a very early age -- maybe because we have quite a few interracial families and gay families in our neighborhood. Personally, I'd rather not wait for my child to ask another child why she's so dirty. I'm a little more proactive than that.

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

My kids learned about it in Kindergarten and at first I thought that was too young. I didn't want them to start noticing the differences.

But the reality is, they start noticing those differences at age 3. boy/girl? blonde/brunette? light skin/dark skin? The difference is that they don't care. It's more of a way for them to categorize things. They are just noticing factual attributes about people.

The other thing that I noticed when my kids learned about MLK is that they couldn't understand what the problem was. They would retell their lessons in a "can you believe those crazy people way back then" kind of tone. So while they are learning facts about past American history, it is not causing any kind of racism in them or even teaching them to take race into account. It gives the a sense of being able to recognize differences in people and celebrate them for those differences.

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

I find nothing wrong with starting early, as long as it's age appropriate.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I do agree that we should teach out kids everyone is equal. However, our kids WILL encounter racism. And, history SHOULD be taught. ALL history. I don't think they can wrap their heads around it at 4, really. I think it's not teaching them the moral of the story, so it's kind of pointless. I don't think it's wrong, but I do think it doesn't accomplish anything.

In high school I had a pen pal from Germany. (My friend hosted her family in a missionary program when she was very small, and they kept in touch their wholes lives. We were the same age, and I loved getting international letters.) Anyway, with email and all...we didn't send letters too much. We mostly would have conversations online through chat. I was talking about a history project and that led us to Nazi Germany. Well, they didn't really teach her about that. It was glossed over in text books. They were taught very little, and shielded in all ways from the truth. I was shocked!! Do we really think German people shouldn't be taught about the Holocaust, so we don't teach them "German guilt?" I mean, really? What about not teaching about Woman's Suffrage, so we don't teach "man guilt?" No, we don't have to teach that someone was oppressed, to teach everyone is equal. We HAVE to teach that someone was oppressed, so that we can move forward. History DOES repeat itself, when we make ourselves ignorant. I just think a four year old is far too young to really get that. I think equating lessons about MLK, to white guilt...shows how badly we need to educate every generation about him. It would be OK to say MLK was an important man in history, who helped a lot of people. To actually get into racism with a preschooler, I think is silly.

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

I don't have a preference one way or the other . . . I think it depends on the kids involved and their interest in the topic, etc.

That being said - this is issue #1 of about a thousand that will come up while your kids are in traditional school.

JMO.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

MLK day is talked about on the news, etc. so kids are going to pick it up. 'm not sure if 4 is too young or not, but it is the age when kids really become more aware of how people are different, so that may be why they are talking about it. My son, who is in kindergarten, has been talking about it (he's 5) because they talk about it at school. I explained him that MLK was working to help change how people treated each other, because some mean people treated people that were different colors like they were not important. You can't really talk about MLK without talking about racism. I would check with the school to see exactly what they are communicating, because the adult perception of racism carries a lot of nuances and baggage. The basic "people are different colors but we are all equal, and some people were mean and didn't think so" is a fact.

We are beige (my son said we aren't "white" - cause hey, look at the color of paper, so I gave him the "proper" color name- LOL). His babysitters up until he started school were an exchange studeint from India, and then a young black girl that was studying childhood education in college. He sees that people are different colors, but doesn't care. We once watched a tv show where chefs were competing. I think 1 was black (blue shirt), 2 were hispanic, and 4 were white. He pointed out the black chef by his BLUE shirt, not the color of his skin :)

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N.L.

answers from Tampa on

It's not that your daughter does not see a difference in skin color...it's that (as you mentioned) she doesn't doesn't care. My 3 yr old "knows" our neighbors on one side are "black" and our neighbors on the other side are "white" just like she knows that mommy (asian) and daddy (white) don't look the same. She knows that her sister has blond hair and blue eyes, while she has brown hair and brown eyes.

Kids see the differences, and it only confuses them when adults refuse to acknowledge what they, as kids, plainly "see." What's important is to talk about how we treat people the same, regardless of the differences. I think 4 years old is plenty old enough to talk about how people were being silly and thought that skin color made a difference (because to them, it IS silly!).

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

Something similar came up in my daughter's preschool although not specifically about MLK. The kids in her class had a moment and none of them even realized that they had different skin colors. I just used it as a teaching moment that people are made in all different sizes, shapes and colors, but we were all equal on the inside.

My 1st grader DID get taught about MLK in school recently. He mentioned it and I just explained that he was a very great man back in the 1960s that believed in equality for all people. I told him that MLK was very important in the Civil Rights movement that gave all people the same rights.

I did NOT talk about the ugly side of racism or bring in violence or anger in the discussion.

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E.B.

answers from Denver on

I have always thought that the current approach is wrong. We have African-American History Month, Asian-Pacific-Islander History Month, for example, where school students focus on certain individuals solely based on their race.

My idea would be to come up with 9 or 12 categories (9 for the school year, or 12 for the calendar year), such as Government and Politics, Medicine and the Healing Arts, Visual Arts, Performance Arts, Science, Space and Ocean Exploration, Computer and Robotic Technology, Agriculture, etc.

Then, students and the general public would be introduced to persons in that category who have contributed to humanity, past and present and future, famous past people, current people, and the faces of the future in those categories, even if they're very young, and even if they're not world famous (yet).

For example, let's take Performing Arts. You could create a list of people like Paul Robeson, Beverly Sills, Winton Marsalis, Yo Yo Ma, Kiri Te Kanawa, Izthak Perlman, Beyonce to start with. Now look at that list: that's just off the top of my head, and it's just musicians (there's also a ton of dancers and other performers you could add), but they're on there because their music has changed the world for the better. But on that list are African-Americans, Pacific Islanders, Asian-Americans, physically disabled persons, persons of white-European heritage, men, and women. You could also add people who are teaching music lessons in inner city neighborhoods, and people who teach music in hospitals to children with cancer, who may not be famous.

That way there's no racism, sexism, etc. People are recognized for their achievements, their contributions, their dedication to their art or science. That would get our future generations thinking about humanity, and when they hear the name Mahalia Jackson, they don't think "black woman", they think "gifted singer". When they hear the name Booker T. Washington, they don't think "black man" they think "educator who overcame great odds", etc.

I think it's time to stop labeling people by their race and start celebrating them for their making their world a better place by their hard work, education, determination and creativity and their willingness to give back.

That's just my idea.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I wouldn't mention it to the school, but this is a primary example of why I am homeschooling. Unless the topic of skin color is relevant to a child, there is no point in discussing it --yet. MLK sure, but, even then, I can think of a million other things I would prefer 2-4 year olds to be doing. Learning about MLK isn't one of them!

I'm not mentioned it to my children. I have a very bright almost 5 year old, and I see no point in mentioning MLK day --yet. For starters, she isn't old enough for "history." She sees no difference in skin colors, so I see no point in bringing up racism. Racism is outside of her conceptual framework, because she has never seen it or experienced it. When we start to learn about history, we will of course discuss it, but until then? I see no point. Hell, my kids have two black cousins. They've never, ever even mentioned or asked why their skin is a different color!

When my kids ask relevant questions to the topic, we will cover it. Until then, I see no point.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I think a lot of it depends on the area you live in. What makes up your neighborhood and the attitudes in your community.
If you live in a racially mixed area, but you see prejudice toward one group, then a talk on racism is warrented.

I live in a mostly white area and I still hear racial slurs from time to time. Some of the people here have not realized that Polack jokes went out with Archie Bunker. They seem fixated on differences not simularities.

This may have been the teacher or school's way to handle a slur at the school.

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

Just curious but would you have rather them not acknowledge who MLK was at all? Or would you have rather they talked about MLK as a great leader but not address the issues of that made people follow him to begin with?

No right or wrong answer here...just wanted to make sure I'm understanding where you are coming from.

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☆.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I think it's appropriate to tell children that they are all the same on the inside no matter what color they are.
What frosted me when my son was 4 was his teacher talking about Rosa Parks in class. He could not understand the difference between civil disobedience and plain old disobedience. It took me forever undo the damage!

L.P.

answers from Tyler on

Didn't read all the responses, so I may be repeating. I don't think it is ever too early or too young to teach tolerance, acceptance and equal rights. THAT is what MLK was about, not only race. If that is how your daughter's preschool views and teaches the students, you may want to revisit what school she is attending. Before you make any major changes, I would ask for a meeting with the teacher or school director to find out how this lesson/holiday was presented to get a clearer vision. Is this all coming from your child's take on the lesson? Could the other student's have said or changed the meaning of the lesson to change the heart of the lesson? It just seems to be too morally wrong to be part of a preschool curriculum or lesson plan.

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

at 4 my son had no idea about "race" and i was happy he didn't. he described a black boy in his class as "has brown skin". it was just as though he had said, "the one with the glasses."

i actually kind of agree with Jo - i was raised with little to no mention of "race" at all. we learned about the history at school, and that was the end of it. i had a boy that i was very close to in high school, who happened to be black - it was never, not even once, mentioned by myself, my parents, no one.

simply a non issue.

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