What Age Did Your Kids Hang Out at There Friends House and How Did You Do?

My daughter was 3...she is still best friends with the girl 10 years later even though they moved 45 minutes away.

My boys were pre-school age. We were okay with this when we knew the families....if we didn't, then we stayed.

My now 20 year old was frequently having play dates with her friends from preschool and neighbors without me supervising or interviewing parents and relatives before a play date.

I knew the parents well from preschool or neighbors and the playmates were at my house frequently as well.

Your child is in K! She's making friends.... it's ok! Just meet the parents if you don't know them already. No need for the 3rd degree!!! Trust that you have taught her well and will continue to do so!!

My older son was ready when he was 3. He went camping for a weekend with a friend at 4. My younger son was closer to 6 before he was comfortable going to a friends house, unless it was someone we knew well. They told me when they were ready. Ask your daughter if she is ready.

I let my kids go hang out with friends when they were three. It is 100% a function of do you trust that you have taught your kids right. By the time they could call friends and figure things out it was a non issue

When my daughters started kindergarten I hosted quite a few get together so I could get to know the kids and the parents. (I had tea parties, an American doll lunch (my girls both had afternoon kindergarten) etc. by the time my daughter was invited to someone's house, I already knew the moms so I was comfortable leaving during their play date.

I think after the initial meet-and-greet that you already did, it's time to let the kids play on their own without staying. If a child has some anxiety about this and comes right out and asks you stay then you need to reconsider but if she is initiating play dates and eager to socialize, it sounds like she's ready for you to not be there.

FWIW all of my kids were playing at friends' houses without my company in preschool. There were a couple of friends over the years who were a bit anxious so a parent would stay when visiting or the kids would mostly play at that child's house, but most kids were fine without their parents.

ETA: I'm surprised by the over-protective answers here. Apparently helicopter parenting is truly alive and well! Back off people, really. Go to the house once, chat with parents, and if nothing gives you the heebie-jeebies, back the heck off!

At this age, the first playdate is often both childrens parents meeting at a park or playground. Especially first playdates. Our kids still don't have good discernment-- or at least we shouldn't expect them to. We have to just deal with that other parent. The playdates I made for my son at that age were with families I had some familiarity with. You can hang out at the playground after school and get a sense of the other parent's level of attentiveness, how they handle stress, how they handle misbehaving kids, etc. I don't expect other people to parent or think exactly like me, I just want to see that they are aware (not checked out) and relatively reasonable.

well, way back when!! we had kids on our block and we all knew each other, so the play dates started early - around 3 - they would stay for about 30 to 45 minutes and lose interest in each other...

but friends houses?? I would say 2nd or 3rd grade and I stayed and chatted with the parent before I left.

Depending upon how far it is? I MIGHT let my kids walk over themselves, however, I tend to drop them off.

How to know when she's ready to be "alone"?? When she can go off and play with her friend for 30+ minutes and not come to check to see if you are still there.

It's different for each child.

my kids started hanging out with non-family neighborhood friends around kindergarten. we started off with having them play in each other's yards, as the adults got to know each other. it progressed to them playing at each other's houses while the adults visited briefly or were at least nearby, and went from there.
very organic.
if it's somewhere they need to be driven, it's good that they exchanged phone numbers and that you've chatted. plan on a short time period for the first couple of times- maybe an hour- and stay with her. that should give you time to cover all the important bases (is there a pool, do you have guns, do you see lots of empty liquor bottles or big scary dogs or uncomfortable levels of filth etc) and you can take it from there.
khairete
S.

I think mine were around 8. And only to the neighborhood kids house to play. I didn't really "know" the parents, but had the moms phone number, chatted with her for a few minutes about the "rules" and obviously knew where they lived. I also felt by that age my own kids knew right from wrong and would be able to tell me if something wasn't right or run home if they needed to.

It was also that age when my son and daughter both went on their first sleepover at a classmates house and I didn't know the parents, although I called first and asked all the "right" questions. It went bad. My son is almost 13 and just went on his second sleepover. He had a phone and it was better.

So I guess it depends on how much you trust your kid and how comfortable you feel with the parent. If your spidey senses go off then you don't let them go. JMO. Good luck.

I didn't at this age. Especially with STRANGERS. You are not friends with this family, you are not really acquainted with them other than they have a child in your child's classes. How do you know they don't walk in the door and walk straight over to the liquor cabinet and start a progressing drinking binge every day. How do you know they don't walk in the door and strip down to their undies? Or what if they turn on R rated movies and walk off leaving them for the kids to watch?

You haven't been to their home, they haven't been to yours, you have spent no real time with them.

At this age our kids met up at the park or at a neutral place so they could be supervised by their own parents. That way I got to know them and they got to know me. We could observe the kids playing together to make sure they were compatible and not a bully and a victim.

As you spend time with these people you'll have a chance to see if they parent in ways you can handle letting them parent your child when you're not there and they can do the same with you. No way I'd let a kindergartner spend time with people "I" don't even know.

I allowed my oldest to go on a play date without me when she was in first grade, but I knew the family really well. None of my kids have gone on play dates where I didn't know the parents.

There is nothing wrong with getting to know them , and asking the pertinent questions (do you allow your daughter to go on the internet? Do you have a pool? And especially, Do you have unsecured guns in the house?). If you feel comfortable with them and their responses, then you can probably be confident letting her play there for a couple of hours at a time.

And don't forget to reciprocate. Invite her friend to play at your house as well.

It's a gradual process, IMO. My kids starting playing with friends at their houses at a very young age (2 or 3) with neighbors I knew well, but not with, for example, friends from daycare. In K, when my son wanted to play with friends, I set it up with the other parent so that we would meet somewhere neutral and both parents would stay - a playground, a bounce place, etc - so I could get to know the parents. By 1st grade, I was comfortable sending him to houses where I knew the parents. By 3rd grade he was having sleepovers at those houses, and playing for a few hours here and there at houses where I don't know the parents (no sleepovers if I didn't know the parents). Now in 4th, he is mostly setting up his own social schedule even including at houses where I don't really know the parents (I still confirm dates/times directly with parents before I drop him off or have a friend over, but he does most of the legwork).

My daughter is 10 and I have just begun to allow her to take rides with friends, which we are usually headed to the same place, however she rides with the friend. We have really branched out and allowed her to visit with friends while we are out of state and don't know the families well, but the kids are on the same team. Yes we hover.

Kindergarten. Our kids were ready for a little independence from mom at that point and it was good for them. I always had talked to the parents beforehand and so it was never with complete strangers. I've tried really hard not to helicopter, so my kids don't end up like Gen Z and struggle to function on their own.