My 3yo DD doesn't know any kids her age. Lately, we have been going to the park daily, and she has discovered the joy of playing with other children. Every time we go now, she starts asking where her 'friends' are.
There have also been a few times when my DD REALLY hits it off with another kid. The other day, for example, she and another e little girl played together (actually played together, having conversations and everything, which is huge for my DD who just recently tested out of having a speech impairment...) for nearly two hours. When it was time for use to leave, both kids were very upset. The little girl was there with her grandparents, and I wrote down my e-mail address and asked them to pass it to the parents if they wanted to meet somewhere for a play date. I never did receive a message back from them, but oh well.
I'm really not sure if I scared them off, or what. Do you find it weird when another mom tries to set up play dates when your kids hit it off? (I also understand that it is entirely possible that the grandparents didn't pass the info. along, or they are too busy, it's inconvenient, etc.)
What would the proper procedure be to try to set play dates up in the future? I am typically too shy to actually bring it up. The email thing was actually the only time I have ever tried to do it, because the kids were getting along soooo well. Usually, I just casually mention that we are at the park at the same time every day.
ETA: I HATE giving my number to people, until I have at least gotten to know them a bit... Which is why I gave my email address instead. This is something I feel quite strongly about. Maybe I will set up a FB FOR this situation, and use that with the Mommy Card suggestions. Lol.
I would totally write an email to someone who requested a playdate. I don't think you did anything weird!
"Proper procedure " for having your kid play with another. I hope your are kidding. You go to,the park, if kids hit it off, get phone number and then cal to see if they would like to come play at your house or at park again. I keep asking "when did playing with other kids" become formal. Sometimes being spontaneous works very well! Like maybe if they are at the park and its lunch time, maybe suggest having lunch together at a local spot.
I agree with Victoria Rae. I wouldn't respond back by email, but if I were the other mom and saw you again at the park and the kids really hit it off and I hit it off with you, then I would be more inclined to suggest an outing together at another public place. If this is your neighborhood park and the other child is a neighbor then that would make it more comfortable too.
Just keep going to the park and other places such as the library, zoo, music classes and local children's museum. Even if you don't meet people at these places to have play dates it still gives your daughter opportunities to interact socially with other children her age. Many churches have a MOPS group which is specifically geared for moms of infants, toddlers and preschoolers. My children and I have met many friends that way. We also attended Gymboree for awhile and met friends through preschool. It's easier to make friends when there is a connection of some kind.
I don't think they are blowing you off intentionally, but maybe just testing the waters. You really have to be cautious out there anymore! Kudos to your daughter for breaking out of her shell a little bit though!
Hope this helps!
A.
Sounds like she is ready for preschool so she can be with kids her age twice a week for 2-3 hours at a time.
I think the thing to do is to tell the grandparents or parents that the kids had such fun, and you will be coming back to the park on Saturday at 11 AM and hope their child will be there as well. Keep having public play dates even if they are scheduled long before you try to do anything in anyone's home. You give your name, your kid's name, and say you hope to see them again. I think you "graduate" to emails and phone numbers after a few sessions, and also after they see your daughter playing with other kids. Go to more than one location so it doesn't appear that you are "trolling" for friends!
When you think about it, setting up a play date with a child in your kid's preschool class is just as much "getting together with strangers" in the beginning as meeting a kid in the park. All friendships and all play dates start out with unfamiliar people becoming familiar with each other.
Also make sure that you don't emphasize how hard it is for your daughter and how much the other child helped. People are reluctant to have their children be the therapy to help another child past his/her obstacles. It's possible that you were so excited with something so huge for your child that you came on a little strong or needy.
But capitalize on your daughter's success and suggest to her that maybe she will find some more new friends at the park, the children's museum, the library story hour, and so on. Continue to help her branch out and eventually you will find someone. If you go to a regularly scheduled program such as the library's 8 week story and puppet play program, whatever they have, you will become more friendly with other parents and more trust will develop.
I would think it was weird after only 1 meeting. But if you are at the same park every day and she plays with the same kid every week for a few weeks then you and the parent would strike up a friendship of sorts. then it would be ok to inquire about a playdate. People can be weird now. and just because someone brings a kid to the park on a day doesn't mean they are not casing houses at night of the new friends they set up a playdate with. far out there yes but things like that happen.
I got Mommy Cards when we recently moved. I keep a few in my purse. They have a picture of me and my kids with my facebook page address on them. If I or my kids hit it off with someone we meet somewhere...park, library, chick fil a play room, where ever...I give the mom a card and tell her we are new in town, looking for new friends and would love a FB message/friendship to get us started if she felt the same way. Then the ball is in her court and I hope for the best. BTW, take advantage of privacy settings, "friend" and "unfriend" wisely.
Continue going to the park. You can't lose by doing that. You may even run into the little girl again - with parents or grandparents. Also, you will run into other little ones and their parents. Also, consider being a part of a meetup group in your area. Don't be afraid to do an info exchange. Swap a # for a number. :-) You could also invite prospects on another public fieldtrip somewhere else fun, like an inflatable bounce house, picnic, another park, etc. Continue to be friendly, of course exercising parental wisdom, but if you continue to be hospitable, that is what you can expect to get in return. It can take a while sometimes to connect, but it does happen. Continue to have a winning and positive mindset that you will connect to good folks and be ready for your new connections/friends for your daughter. :-)
Maybe next time, try leaving your name and phone number. I think I would feel weird sending an email to a random person who passed it on to my parents or in-laws at the park.
I do not like to use texts or emails when trying to connect. I feel they are too impersonal & I need to hear that voice on the other end to be able to "read" the situation.
& you sent your info home with the grandparents. Are you sure they're the grandparents? Did they actually introduce themselves as the grandparents or did the child call them that? My husband & I are older. Based on our appearance, we've been wrongly called grandparents many many times!
& one more thought: they may have lost the info before reaching the parents. & since you've not met the parents, perhaps you may not like them. AND do you know it's a Mom/Dad parental unit? It may be Dad/Dad or Mom/Mom!
Not saying you are assuming & are in error. Simply saying.....until you actually sit & talk with the parent/parents, you don't know enough to make any assumptions. :)
You know, many people don't follow through, but we've been friends for years with a mom and little (now not so little) girl we met on a playground. We exchanged phone numbers, one of us (I no longer remember who) called, we played together in the park the following week, the one after that, and so on, until eventually went to each other's homes... This was 8 years ago, and we're still friends.
This friend came up with a great idea. She has "mommy cards," just like a business card, but with her family's names and contact info. When they hit it off with someone new they give them a card.
I don't think this is weird! I agree with a below post that mentions "Mommy business cards" - you might want to get some, they are a cute and "official" way to give people your info.
If they don't email you, their loss! Just keep going to that park, you'll probably see her again.
I would have thought you were really odd and been leary of your way of doing this. Though thinking about it after reading this I think that would have been an over reaction.
It would be nice if you could find a nice group of ladies who are already having a play date. I have never been to one where the parents drop the kids off and leave. That's just not what I'd want. I would tell the parent if they left their child and they acted up I'd be swatting them right alongside my grand kids so they might not want to use me for free babysitting...lol.
I always did enjoy the group of ladies we had for playdates. We did it at the local LDS church in their cultural hall. The kids could ride their bikes and run amok in all that room. We had a great deal of fun.
If you have a scheduled play date with some other ladies then you could have invited your child's new friend to join in that group.
