Wetting Pants

Just to let you know, we got rid of the binky last christmas day....just 11 days before his 4th birthday!

They seem to be along the same timeline for that and age as far as when they potty trained. As for accidents, I am not sure, it definitely could be a little regression from missing the bink. My son has accidents once in a while at nap time at school and wears a pull up everynight-I believe he cannot control it when he is sleeping. He does however "leak" a little during the day sometimes and I think that is because he is "TOO BUSY". Maybe at school and home for a few weeks, you kind remind him to go until he gets back on track!

Hi D.,

I think it's the age and a boy thing. My son would wet his pants at 4 in school on rare occassions and home. When asked why, he'd say "I was distracted, I was busy, I waited too long" even last night , he is six now we went over to a friends house with two boys my son was in heaven they ran around like maniacs for hours. I noticed he used the bathroom during that time but when we were leaving he said he peed a little in his jeans. I asked why he said he got so involved and was having such a great time he waited too long to go. I usually remind him on brief sightening at a friends house to go use the bathroom and he does but you can't watch then 24/7 when they are running around. Just a phase just remind him to use the bathroom often when home and I'm sure these accidents will stop. I don't agree with the mom who suggested punishment, at all. These kids after being corrected by being punished are often nervous and terrified if they have an accident they will hide their wet clothes and feel shame. My neighbor follows these methods as well as my husbands mother as well and he told me his years of struggle and my neighbors kids tell me as well. Accidents happen and I doubt your son is acting out because you took his binky, that's coincidence.
Good luck. A. B

My son turns 4 in a month and started school this year as well. I find that any major changes and small accidents happen... My son is also reverting back to wanting to ride in a stroller. It's possible that he might just be adjusting to a new schedule. Try giving him some extra attention. He might also need some reassurances that he's still your baby. It helps him realize that at home it's still safe, he's allowed to make mistakes at home.

It's also possible that he's bladder needs to "catchup" with his body as well. I don't believe all body parts grow at the same rate. Try prompting him to use the bathroom right before you leave and as soon as you get home. I usually ask my son and have to wait about 10 mins before the urge hits him, but he has not had any pee-cidents since mid-october, (wiping himself after poo is a whole other story ^_^ ).

Dear D., I am not sure the accidents are due to the lost binky but they could be. Some children need their security thing longer than others. I am an older mom and as I raised my 5 children I did what worked for me. They are all grown and well adjusted. I am sorry you are worried about other moms judgements. I believe each family should do what they think is right. He is 4. Talk to him, ask him what is bothering him. Maybe he can tell you. Kids are people, just smaller. If you give children respect they will also respect you. My best, Grandma Mary

Hi D.,
While I didn't allow longterm pacifier use, I had one myself til 4 years old, I'm now 42 and nearly perfectly sane, not an axe murderer or anything like that, I still have all my teeth, so don't obsess over or apologize for the binky. It's gone now and that's the end of it.
The pants wetting, however, is another issue. If you are absolutely sure that he doesn't have a UTI, then I'd say to keep in mind that he is 4 years old. He is not a toddler. It is a behavioral thing and it does not matter whether it's from the farewell of the binky or not. If the rule is that he is expected to use the toilet and he's going in his pants, 4 years old is old enough for rules and consequences. He's breaking the rule, and needs a consequence. If he's going in his pants to punish you for taking the binky away, then I would say to step up and take control of the punishing yourself. Let him know that since he is having "intentionals" (I doubt they are accidents) in his pants, that you will be taking him to the toilet every hour since he seems to be "forgetting" to go, that if he goes in his pants, ____________ will be the consequence and that since you can't trust him to use the bathroom regularly, if he has another accident, that you'll need to diaper him if you go to someone else's house so that he doesn't mess up their couches or carpet. The potential for embarrassment might be helpful here. Sorry if that seems harsh but I'm a believer in rules and consequences, and using the toilet is expected behavior at 4.

I have no advice on the accidents in his pants since my son is not at that age yet, but I just wanted to say you should not have to say sorry for letting your son have his binky till age 4. My son is 2 and still has his binky at night and naps and I have NO intention of taking it away from him. It is his lovey. Other kids have blankets and stuffed animals and we don't try to take that away. There is evidence that kids benefit from sucking up to age 5. My niece is 6 1/2 and sucks her thumb all the time...if your son were a thumb sucker you could not take that away. Just wanted to put my 2 cents in on the binky issue.

No I think it's two different issues. The peeing is not related to the binky at all. I'd make sure he doesn't have an UTI like another mom mentioned, and then after that I'd remind him to use the bathroom every couple hours. Sometimes kids get so involved in what they are doing that they just wait a little too long. When he has an accident have him clean up, wash his hands after, and remind him to get to the bathroom a little earlier.

Have him checked for a bladder infection ASAP! He simply pees in a cup for the test so it is easy and it rules out a very likelly cause.

Hi D..
my son is about to turn 4 but he has been potty trained since 2 1/2...BUT he recently like in the last half of year had spurratic accidents...mostly poop tho!!!! No fun at all. I tried to pin point it and for him, i think he was just too busy playing or whatever. It started out as a fluke thing but then got much too regular for me. I kept having to throw away his underwear. I agree with the other woman that by 4 they don't have an option (assuming there is nothing medically wrong)...it is an expected behavior. My husband and I wouldn't yell at him, but explain firmly that it's unacceptable that he keeps doing poopy in his pants and it has to stop. I then would take him to the bathroom often, or ask him often...we went out and got some new underwear that HE LOVED and didn't want to ruin. It did work and he actually was so proud of himself after that for remaining clean and dry. When he would go he'd tell me, I'm such a good boy for not doing poopy anymore in my pants. So cute. He actually had an accident on Thanksgiving...but I think he was embarassed to tell me he had to go and waited too long and he was so sad...it broke my heart. at that point, you just re-assure...you've been doing a great job and haven't done this in so long. This one was an accident...just make sure you make it next time.

Anyway, I hope that helped. Just my experience. :) Good luck.