I have a long time friend (10+ years) that I no longer speak to. He little brother is getting married in a couple of months. Her mother contacted me because she would like me to attend the wedding and shower. I have met the bride a couple of times, she is not really my cup of tea so I normally avoid conversation. I am really atteneding any event becuase of my long history with the family. Am i required to go to both? And do I need to get a gift for both? I really feel like the bride wants "things" so she is inviting people to get more gifts. That really turns me off. I am not positive that it was her motive since she did not contact me, but from the interactions I have had in the past I feel this way in my gut. I definately plan on attending the wedding, but what are your thougths on attending both. and should i bring a gift both times?
No you do not give two gifts. If you decide not to attend the shower and just the wedding then just send a gift either to the shower or to their home. If you go to the shower bring the gift. Remember you are buying this gift for him as well.
I don't think I would take a gift to both. One gift should be sufficient enough especially since you're not close with the family anymore.
Since you were contacted by the mother, I would probably attend the wedding and not the shower b/c of how you feel about the bride. I don't think you should have to go to both and bring two gifts. Just attend the wedding w/a gift.
If it were me in this situation, I would be "busy" the day of the shower since you don't want to socialize anyway. I would take a thoughtful gift to the wedding reception and be done with it. If you don't want to stay for the wedding reception, then just drop off the gift. This way, the family you like will see your gesture, and the family you don't care for, is none the wiser. The average amount of people showing up for a wedding shower/baby shower is usually 50-60%. You won't be the only one not coming to the shower. If they are going to talk bad about you, they will do it whether you show up or not, because that's just how people generally are. I wouldn't fret over the monetary value of the gift either. Set yourself a budget and stick to it. These people are not aware of your financial situation, so don't let their pettiness rock your finances. Good luck! B.
One gift regardless of whether you go to the shower or not. If you go to the shower, take a gift and then you aren't expected to take one to the wedding. If you skip the shower (which is what I would probably do), then take a gift to the wedding.
Regardless of how you feel about the bride, you are apparently considered a family friend and may have been a courtesy invite on all accounts. You do not have to attend the shower but it would be appropriate to send some sort of gift, find out where she is registered and send a $20 gift card for the shower and another marginal gift for the wedding.
Or vice versa, go to the shower and beg off for the wedding. I always try to do the right thing, how I would wish to be treated, not the way the person perhaps warrants being treated. Could be this woman isn't big in the friends department and they are pushing it just to get a decent turnout at the shower.
Given how you feel, I would skip the shower (and prerequisite girl gift)- since it is a group of the girls, and you're not particularly close to or fond of the main girl. Go to the wedding, get a gift for your friend (the little brother) that is wedding appropriate.
S.
I would certainly NOT give 2 gifts. Also, if I were not close to this family and I had a "gut instinct" that the invitation is really an "invoice", I would have prior committments on the shower and wedding dates.
If you REALLY felt like you have to, mail a small gift.
I hate those invitations "invoices" that come from people I have not heard from in years.
