Was Trying to Help Someone. What Do I Do Now?

Shouldn't she be the one to do the calling? You could refer her to people and she should be the one doing the work...not you! I would not worry about, just next time you see the people you called just make light of it like it's no big deal. i seriously doubt anybody would be mad at you for that! Explain to them you were trying to help her out and she put you on the spot, tell them not to feel obligated to do anything.

Well is she's that pushy, she'll make a good saleswoman. Sheesh! I would call every one of those people back and tell them you were put on the spot because she was standing right there. Tell them not to worry about it if they're not interested. If she asks for any more help, politely decline.

It took me a second to figure out you meant a sales job. Do you mean she's part of a pyramid scheme? If that's what's making you feel ill then you can call your friends back and explain that your cousin was with you when you made the calls and you had promised to help her out. After she left you realized that the company she works for is one of those pyramid schemes and that they're under no obligation to listen to her presentation.

I don't think it's nearly as big of a deal as you're making it out to be, so please don't feel sick over it. It's easy enough to remedy. And your cousin will soon figure out that it's a business scam and that she's not going to get much money out of it at all.

My sister-in-law just got involved in a similar model except it's apparently legit (Qivana) and luckily she hasn't hit me up to buy anything. She's acting like a cult member about it because she's making money early on, but once she taps out her first time buyers she's in for a hard sell.

Not a big deal. Just call and talk to your friends and explain! Let them know that they should feel NO obligation to sit through the demo. That you were just helping your cousin out by giving her more experience and the calling other people was part of it. NO BIG DEAL!

Oh my-I would counsel her to quit that job if I were her. What a horrible way to make a buck. I would call your friends and tell them what went down. Be upfront and honest and say by no means should they feel obligated to let her present.

I would not do anything right now with your friends. I would call your cousin in law and tell her, in a assertive yet polite fashion, that you called a few people as per her request, but that from this point on if any are interested, they are to contact her, not you. Inform her that you will give her contact information, and would she prefer if she give out her email or her phone number?

If your friends call back, I would say that you were trying to do a favor for a family friend, and now that you have done that favor she will take it from here, and here is her phone number or email to further inquire.

You were more than nice to her about all this. Should she have the audacity to get upset over you dispensing her email and phone, lay it out to her in a clear, assertive, yet polite fashion -- without apologizing or showing any regrets -- that you were asked to help and that is exactly what you are doing.

Consider it a life lesson for her in her young age -- the art of hustling to get your own. Asking someone else to do your job is the fastest way to get fired.

Also consider it a life lesson for yourself -- to find a way to say no and not get trapped into something you don't really need to do. I struggle with this too...but a friend of mine taught to me learn how to reflexively say "Can I get back to you?" instead of thinking about it for a moment and then saying yes. Always remember that when someone asks something of you, they are rarely thinking of you, but rather thinking "how does this benefit me?" Therefore, they are often very short-sighted on what benefit there is for you - if any at all! It is a selfish position that many naturally take. You can protect yourself by reminding yourself that you are NEVER under any obligation to decide right away (unless there is an emergency!) -- it almost always can wait a day or two.

I wouldn't worry about it if you were polite and not pushy on the phone. I wouldn't call and apologize over it. There is nothing to apologize for you were just asking if they would be interest in having her do a demonstration for them. If you bring it up and apologize some of your friends that are interested in the demonstration might change their minds. I would talk to her about how uncomfortable it made you feel being put on the spot so she won't do that again.

Ouch, she put you on the spot and unfortunately you felt obligated to contact your friends. I would simply have said that although I support her in this first job, I am not contacting my network of friends so she can try to make sales. This type of selling is pressure and often makes the person getting the demo feel obligated to purchase. I hate that but I am one of those who will either say no thank you to a demo or no thank you after I've seen the demo.

I would not call the friends but when I see them again, I would apologize and explain that you were put on the spot, failed to say no, gave in, and that you will never do such a thing again.

We had a neighbor who had a knife demonstration and afterwards she emailed everyone about having the sales girl come to our homes for a demo. I just trashed the email and never responded because I am not into door to door sales.

Don't beat yourself up about it. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes.

I would let it go until the next time you see them or speak to them for other reasons. Say you see 'mary'' at the grocery store or at church--- did you ever hear from my friend __? Sorry about that... I was put on the spot and I HATE those things myself... sorry about doing that.

They'll probably laugh it off with you, sympathize with you having been put on the spot and then say how much they hate them too. Be sure you tell them you are glad they aren't holding it against you and laugh.

That's all that's needed. I've had friends do things like that to me (gave out our number to a friend selling something) and it doesn't bother me. It is much easier to just say "no, not interested" because I don't know the sales person myself. My friend was stuck in a hard place, and they didn't promise I'd do anything. No big deal.

First, if you feel bad contacting your friends, next time you see them or talk to them, just say, "I wanted to apologize for calling and leaving a message about X. A family member is selling XYZ, and I was pressured into. Please know that our friendship is of value to me, and I won't do that again."

Then, tell your husband's cousin that, after thinking it over, you do not feel comfortable with doing that. Tell her that you will recommend anyone who brings up the topic to contact her directly.

If your relative is going to be in sales, she MUST learn rejection. Tell her you do not feel comfortable dragging your friends into her pitch and you don't want to purchase her product.

Blessings...

I don't know what is to feel bad about. They will either show up or not and they are under no obligation to buy. Just being able to present her pitch will give your friend some great experience and practice. No harm done = )

Is it a knife company? I noticed them at all of the exits of the High school graduations..

I even had a young blind friend go to the interview process. It was terrible and I was so mad at them for being so vague about the job she would be applying for.

My young friend had to hire a cab and then have the driver escort her to the business, she interviewed and realized this was not something she would be able to do, call another cab to return her home! All of this because they would not be honest with her over the phone!

The knives are good quality, but door to door sales are impossible if you do not know a ton of people.. You could always call and apologize and let your friends know they are in no way obligated and promise not to do this again.

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I would call each of your friends and explain what you told us. Make sure they know they should not feel obligated to buy anything or accept a demonstration.

Hind sight is always 20/20. Now you need to be honest with her and tell her that sales tactic is not the best. Tell her that it made you feel uncomfortable and put on the spot and that is never a good thing when you are trying to sell something. If the customer offers that is a different story, but don't tell them they need to contact someone before you leave. Then tell her that you are calling your friends back and let them know the situation and if they still want to help her out you will let her know.

Call and apologize, then you can let it go and move on. I'd also let the girl know how uncomfortable this has made you.

I would call and apologize to your friends. Explain the situation you were in and I am sure they will understand. If your cousin comes back to you for more help politely tell her that you have done all you can. This is a tough situation...hope you feel better about it soon!

Tell her that you agreed to help her by listening to her pitch. Your job is over. She is asking way to much for you to call people on her behalf etc. If they are interested, she needs to talk to them directly. Tell your friends who you called that you were doing a favor for a family member and if they want to talk to her about her product or whatever she is doing, they can contact her at _______number. Then you are out of it completely.

GL!

M

ditto what YoMama said!