Going forward, if you use a member's real name after they have changed it for privacy reasons, I will automatically delete that post. If you have a response on the forum which includes a member's real name after they have changed it, and you would like to keep that response, please go back and amend it now. Otherwise, it will be deleted if it's reported. Thank you.
*** If you have changed your screen name, please do not go back and report every post where someone used your previous screen name. Those posts will NOT be deleted. But if someone keeps using your real name, after you've changed it, I will delete those posts. FYI.
Gamma, it is fine to reference member's screen names. Just like did your's. And if a poster offers a child's name, you can reference that too. What I'm speaking about is when a member, for whatever reason, changed their screen name to be more anonymous, but other members continue to call them by their real name. My philosophy, when in doubt, leave it out. Thanks for asking for clarification.
Julie... thank you for asking clarification, as this is certainly getting confusing. I'm sure you're not doing anything wrong. This is probably a message meant for a handful of people who understand it perfectly. Rather than send each one of them emails, I posted something here. But... you can sign your own name. You can use other's names who have willingly come forward and have no problem with you using their name. However... if you KNOW someone has changed their name and prefers not to be called by that name... stop using it to antagonize them. <---- perhaps that should have been the original post?
What Diana B said. Thanks Diane.
But...but...but, my "real name" is on every response and every question I've ever written. You're gonna be pretty busy!
Sorry.
:(
I don't quite understand why people are having so much difficulty with this. It seems straightforward. If I am listed as "D. B. from Westborough", then no, nothing will change. Nobody's deleting it! As the moderator said, if I CHANGE my name for privacy reasons, and my account is now listed as "Ms. Daffodil", (and if I also change my city to East Oshkosh") then everyone has to call me Ms. Daffodil. You can't keep referring to me as "D. B. from Westborough" if you comment on any of my questions or responses. If you do, you are violating my request for privacy. Then AND ONLY THEN will your comments be deleted. Right?
Seems very simple and straightforward. I can see someone not understanding this if they are new to Mamapedia and didn't know that there had been some changes made for privacy reasons. But long time members should understand this (and they are the ones who may know people's original names). No one should have a problem with it. It doesn't affect 95% of the members anyway because most don't engage in the calling out by old names.
Frankly, I think it's nice of the moderator to post this now, rather than have to email everyone down the line to explain a policy no one knew about. Now everyone knows. Simple.
What I find so funny about this is that knowing my full name, my address heck my social security number, my user name, put that into the search bar here and you will get Joy F W in NYC who wants to know how to change a diaper.
Not sure how using someone's real name harms anyway considering this but I learned the odd way not to use people's names when someone got their knickers in a twist last year. Whatever, lesson learned.
Theresa I will make sure I never call you Theresa again!
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I did not imply this is a diaper changing issue. No one calls the OP by name, they do to refer to other answers. Considering the very sad search feature you are not going to find someone's answer, let alone know that another poster was talking to that person.
I am saying regardless of outside knowledge of the person there is no way her man is going to find Theresa's post here because I said hi to her here. Just not possible. Now if Theresa posted a question about gardening, and I said hey Theresa did that rash turn out to be an STD, he could find that but then I could call her dog breath and he will still know I am talking to her.
I am using Theresa because I already have permission from her to use her in return for deviled eggs.
I have no problem with this rule if it helps people sleep at night but I just wanted to be on record saying it is silly.
i tend to look at the MP mods' posts with narrowed eyes (vis-a-vis the ongoing defensive blather about what they did to catwalk) but this one seems pretty sensible and straightforward.
i've seen angry members try to 'out' other members by blaring their real names throughout their posts. not cool.
i think this is a good guideline and appreciate knowing MP's stance on it.
khairete
S.
Thanks for doing this! I have seen others here do this to be mean: "Well, SunnyMom, aka YunisMominSanJose, what are you really suggesting?" They're deliberately trying to "out" people who've changed their names to have more privacy.
ETA: People aren't concerned about privacy over diaper issues, but rather when they are talking marital problems, brain disorders and other issues where they might want to stay anonymous. A lot of sensitive topics are discussed here.
I'm confused. How are you going to do this?
My name is S. H.
Are you saying each time my name was referenced, it will be deleted?
What purpose does that serve?
How does that protect me? & why the Hell does it need to be done?
Ditto to what Theresa N said....okay, I used her name....do you delete this?
I truly believe there are more useful ways to utilize your time!
Hi MP Moderator M,
ETA: OK, Thanks. Good to know that the majority won't be made to change for the few to whom you're addressing this.
ORIGINAL-------------------
For those who use their real names and sign off our posts with that name, do we have to change? Or just stop using our name as we sign off? Or is this just a warning not to use OTHERS' names in our posts?
At first this post says "Going forward……" but right after that, it says "If you have a response on the forum which includes a member's real name" to go back and amend it. So, I'm confused…. are you saying if there is a name mentioned in the CURRENT questions we need to amend?
How far back do we have to go to delete names if we've used them? When I use a member's name, it is almost always to say something like "Go back and read Suzie Q's response. It's the best I've seen yet" or something like that. (I just did that a few minutes ago, and it was to point out a really great response). Do I have to go back and change all of those? If so, how far back?
Please help clarify! I don't have time to change hundreds of posts!
Thanks!
ETA
Thank you for clarifying. I was so confused by this notion! Now I see I was completely off track.
I see what you mean about the names now.
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I often use a name or something when I'm trying to make a point about a similar interaction that has several people going back and forth about something, I do NOT use real names.
It's not like we're saying Hey! I live in OKC and I'm going to be at Coits at Western and I-40 and will be there for lunch if you want to drop in and my name is...Coits has closed down since I've moved away so that's not even giving personal information...
I use OKC as my town because it's my home town and I live nearby. I often use letters or fake names to make a point but I would never use a real name that is anything like one of the people in my life have.
I guess I don't understand how you could go through each question and each response and if someone says "I want to know what to do with my 5 year old, johnny is such a sweet child but he's not taking naps anymore".
That's not giving personal information.
SO could you be more specific and perhaps use an example? Of course changing the names to protect the innocent...lol. Sometimes I do better with an example because my mind goes everywhere with possible situations.
I think part of Julie's point was that the search feature on this site is very poor. Perhaps that is another issue that could be addressed.
Also, she was saying that knowing someone's real name doesn't really do anything. Maybe my name is Michelle. Maybe my name is Stacy. Maybe it's neither of those. So what? What would anyone be able to do with the knowledge?
I appreciate you trying to keep things safe, but we've had several moderators come on here and stir up problems and make promises that I'm just a bit skeptical that you will actually delete posts. I hope you will follow through, but until I see you in action, I have a hard time believing you will actually follow through.
If we repot a post using our previous name, how do we know that our report will go to you, not someone else who will ignore the report? This has happened to me in the past, hence the distrust.
Please try to make Mamapedia safe for us again. Thank you.
