I'm posing this separately, because there is so much to say.
First, let me say thank you to EVERYONE that posted! I needed a kick in the pants to get off my butt. The one thing that spurred me most to immediate action was that I was not being an advocate for my own child. I really appreciate hearing that - well, I hated hearing that, but it was true, dang it! I had already told myself "what if he hurts someone?" - "his mom needs to know" - "he needs help". I'm just the world's BIGGEST chicken about making other people upset!
To address a few other points - my son didn't tell me because at the time it happened, my hubby and I were at a birthday party for a friend, and our 19 yr old was present at the house - sort of in charge. When my son came home, the boy that told his parents came with him, we still weren't home. Andrew forgot about it. He wasn't scared, he was just mad at the time. I specifically asked him if he was afraid of the other boy and he said no, not at all. I did talk to him and let him know how very important it is for him to tell me this sort of thing. He goes "I know, Mom - can I go now?" He also told me that it wasn't a knife, it was a decorative sword - which still doesn't excuse it AT ALL. Also, quite a few suggested calling the police, which I would have if it had been anyone that we barely knew. This mom is a friend, not a "let's go out for ladies night" kind of friend, but a borrow sugar, "hey can you watch my son while I run to see my aunt in the hospital?" kind of friend. I just felt she needed to hear it from me.
Last - it wouldn't be an update if I didn't report that I did call the mom. I did and started off with "I need to tell you what happened with the boys" and proceeded to just lay it out factually. The second I did, she blurts out "OH! HELL NO! That is NOT acceptable AT ALL!" She was NOT happy, but was very nice to me, and promised that not only would it be addressed, but that the sword would be put away. So, I feel better, but a tiny bit sick to my stomach that I had to do it. But that's ok - it was the right thing. Andrew will not be playing over there. I'll let the other boy come over here, but will supervise closely and if they start getting heated, then the playing will end.
Thank you all for your input, I really appreciate it. So for the obligatory question - "Have you had to tell a mom something horrid their child did?" You would think since Andrew is my 4th child, I'd have it down by now, but I'm such a baby!
I'm proud of you! I'm glad it wasn't a knife, but still, it was the thought that count. Next time it could be a knife.
Keep an eye on them and stop the friendship if this kid continues his wild erratic behavior.
*hugs*
YOU GO MAMA!!!
GREAT JOB!!!
Reinforce Andrew NOT going to his house!! He can come to yours. But supervision will be CLOSE!!!
YOU GO MAMA!!!
You're not a baby anymore!! Good for you for getting the courage to call this mom, and to be an advocate for your son!! It feels good doesn't it? Next time, it won't be so hard. Pat yourself on the back for doing it.
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How courageous & brave to face something that made you very uncomfortable and do it anyway.
Good for you!
big hugs glad you stood up for him!
I didn't read your first post until after you had already posted this one. So I just wanted to say WAY TO GO. Good for you (and for her, too!) Glad that things went well in the conversation, and that the other mom actually cares and didn't just blow it off.
As for the sword, just an fyi--just because it was decorative doesn't mean it won't cut and isn't dangerous. Seriously. My son has a samurai sword he earned in his martial arts class. It looks quite decorative and has a cool sheath and stand and everything... and it is still metal and SHARP and can hurt someone. It is NOT a toy. And I'd bet the one your son's friend had isn't "safe" either. It might not have been a knife, no, it might have actually been WORSE than a knife, imho.
But VERY glad you took the bull by the horns and called the mom and talked with her. Sounds like she has her hands full, and knowing other moms will be honest with her has to be a plus for her. :) Good job!
Good for you.
Bet ya sleep better tonight!
So glad you clued her in.
In this type of situation, I alwaysd ask myself "Would I want to know that my kid did xyz?" In this example? YES!
First time reading this ... just posted this on the other one, but if you suspect neglect and from what you said on the other, you should call CPS and have the house investigated.
Good for you. Overcoming fear is soooooo hard. Keep at it, just chip away a little at a time. It is sooooo rewarding.
I really do hope it works out. It is very easy to say oh hell no but much more difficult to parent kids like the one you described.
I know he is only ten but by the age of eight my son had been hospitalized several times for anger issues and that we feared for his safety and the safety of those he played with and went to school with. My son has several medical issues by the way. I am crazy strict with him. I just figure if I was in over my head enough to put him in the hospital I doubt this woman is going to effect change if all she does is yell at him and take things away every now and then.
Good going!!! That must have been hard for you. Hold your head up high! :)
I'm glad that you called and that you and your friend worked something out so the friends are monitored.
GREAT JOB, R.!!
I know I'm not the only one who's really proud of you! And even though your son said he wasn't scared, don't underestimate the effect on him to know that you are in his corner, even when it's hard for you. And this may only help to deepen your friendship with the other mom too. I hope you're proud of yourself too.
I saw your other question first (I work backwards so I don't miss "trigger" questions) so I just answered that one.
It's good that you got this worked out and that mom was on board with you! Don't you feel better now?
I'm so glad that you addressed this! Sounds like you did a great job!
The only awkward thing I have to address is that the boy my son plays with the most in the neighborhood (both boys are 8) has a 6 year old brother. My son often invites the 8 year old to do something, but not the 6 year old. The mom asked me about it once and I just told her that I am honoring my son's wishes. My son desires to do something with the 8 year old, not the 6 year old too. (It was awkward, but not a big deal really).
-L.
