Same Name as Friends'/acquaintances' Kids?

Updated on July 01, 2008
M.F. asks from Minerva, OH
31 answers

Hi ladies-
Thought I'd throw this out and see what opinions people might have. We just found out that baby #3 is a boy, and we've always liked the name Andrew. There is one other little guy in our church named Andrew who's about 5 months old, and they call him Andy. (We'd probably use the whole name, or maybe Drew for short) I have another friend who lives 4 hours away, but we keep in touch by email, and her 6-month-old is an Andrew too. Question is, should we be concerned about possibly giving our little guy the same name? Do you think the other moms would get mad? (and if so, should I care, or would that just be a "their problem" kind of thing?) I don't know if it would change our minds one way or the other, but I'm a people-pleaser and wouldn't want to purposely offend anyone...thought I'd seek some input on the topic. Thanks! :-)

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the responses--you confirmed what I was already thinking. DH says I worry too much about what other people think, but I think that's a chick thing :-) I'll probably mention something to our friends, but we'll go ahead and name New Baby what we want...we won't "ask permission" to use the name (it's not like they invented it!), but we'll give them a heads up. Thanks for caring!

Featured Answers

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P.B.

answers from Canton on

Don't worry about what others think. If you like the name and want it---------use it. Some families have the same name for their kids as do their relatives. No big deal. Just tell them that you have liked that name and decided that if you ever had a boy, that would be his name.

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S.H.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I have always loved the name Katie and wanted to give that name to any daughter that may come along. I was concerned about the abundance of Katies out there already. We now call out Katherine Elizabeth "KatieBeth" it still uses Katie but is unique enough that I have yet to meet another little girl by that name. Can you come up with a variation on Andrew that is less common than Andy or Drew?

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C.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

First suggestion would be to ask them if they minded your naming him Andrew. Each may think you are honoring their son not stealing his name.
Another suggestion is what about using Andrew as a middle name.
We were going to name our first Vincent and change it to a middle name. I wanted to honor my father whose middle name is Vince. He has 2 grandsons with the same basic middle name Vincent and Vince.

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K.P.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Hi M. I myself would name my baby what I wanted to. When we had our daughter I wanted to name her Kimberly but none of my family wanted me to so I didn't. I am ok with her name now but I wish I would have been more mature and named what I wanted to. Of course there were many Kimberlys at that time. Good Luck and choose what you want.

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P.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

If you like the name, use the name. In reality knowing 2 or 3 other families who have used the name isn't so bad. I had two cousins named Cathy, two cousins named Patrick and 3 uncles named Bob. It made for interesting family gatherings but we all survived well enough.

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P.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

M.,

I too had that same issue 19 years ago ironically the same wonderful name too... Andrew I had one girlfriend that had a baby about 8 months before my Andrew and another due a month after me they both chose the name Andrew for their sons. I told them both that I love the name and also since we were going to call ours by the full name and they both had already chosen Andy and Drew they didn't seem to mind. The other thing I want to point out is these relationships are not necessarily long term. Heck if you tried to find names that nobody else had and you liked the next your son might go to school and there are a dozen "name never heard befores" just like him.. Name you baby what you want.

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E.S.

answers from Cleveland on

I understand what you mean about being a people pleaser. But if you like the name Andrew... name your son Andrew. I had the same problem. My pastor's granddaughter is named Emma and she was born about a year before my daughter. But I decided to name my baby Emma anyways because I have always wanted that name for my child. I spoke to the other mom about it and told her why I was going to name my daughter the same name (we both had complete different reasons for choosing the name). And so now there is two Emma's at church but they are two very different little girls. So go ahead and do what you want.

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S.K.

answers from South Bend on

I wouldn't worry about it. Name your child whatever name YOU like and don't worry about other kids. There are so many kids out there w/ the same names, he is bound at some point to know a few w/ his name. I am S.. In grade school I had 3 other S.'s in my class!

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K.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

He's your kid, name him what you want! I get really irritated at people who would get mad over the name you picked out for YOUR child!! In a way, I think it's flattering for someone to name their child after me. If someone does get mad, I wouldn't let it bother me. I'm also a people pleaser, but I found that there are some things I have a right to do how I want. Naming your child is one of them.

BTW, my daughter's name is Drew...yes, a boys name for a girl. So, this is why I can say, do what YOU want!! lol

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K.S.

answers from Cleveland on

This is YOUR child... who you will have forever. Your friends/acquantances may change. We thought we would live in Louisville forever...but now we are in Ohio.
The only time I think it should cause hesitation is when it is family.
If we had had a boy, we were going to name him Alexander. The first was a girl. Subsequently, my husband's twin sister had a boy and named him Alexander (she didn't know we had picked that out). So, if we have a boy, we'll choose something different.
BE HAPPY with any choice!

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A.P.

answers from Dayton on

Hi M.-

Name your baby the name you and your husband like. Don't give it another thought- especially since Andrew is a popular name- it's not like you a coping anyone!!
Good luck w/ your pregnancy-
A.

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L.F.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I would not be worried about the other moms. Your son is not going to have the same exact name so. You have to remember this is your blessed little one so name him as you feel you want. I have 2 granddaughters that have unique names and my sons got flack for it. Sadrah Abbott and Ryann Alandra. They still did what they felt they wanted for the girls and for that I am grateful.

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K.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi M.,

Congrats on your baby boy! I am also having a boy in Nov :)
I thought of naming my daughter Nicole, like my niece. I had mentioned it to my sis and she said it would be interesting but she didnd't have a problem.

A year later, she got pregnant and it was a girl.
My daughter's name is Mia Rose - Rose is my moms name.

My sister - with the girl Nicole - asked me if I minded thatshe gave her daughter the same middle name. Lexi Rose. I said no, of course not!
I wouldn't have minded Mia either, in the sense that it is just a name....

I must tell you that Andrew was on top of our list too ;)

I wouldn't worry. Let them know, I wouldn't ask necessarily, I'd mention it.

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B.R.

answers from Columbus on

M.,

Name him Andrew and don't worry about the other Andrews. Congats!

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E.B.

answers from Fort Wayne on

If you absolutely love this name then use it. It is your child, you name and raise him the way you want. But, if you see your friend a lot - 6 months age difference isn't huge so they could be good friends with the same name. Like you said, you could always shorten it to Drew if they call their baby Andrew or Andy. I don't think anyone would be mad that you gave the same name as their baby and surely they would get over it quick.

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J.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

Don't worry what others name their children I take it as a compliment when people name their kids the same as mine. We just had people at church name their child the same exact as our 2 children (1st and middle name) and I thought wow I still love that name and I'm glad we chose it. Congrats on the upcoming birth of number 3. Best of luck in your decision go with your gut!! :)

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A.B.

answers from Columbus on

If this is the name you are being called to give your child,then do so.
I also have a son named Andrew...we call him Drew for short. If it becomes a identity conflict then maybe use his middle name. Either way, this is YOUR baby and YOUR gift to him. DO what you heart says to do.
A.

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S.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

I would mention it. I was on the receiving end of this one and I was a little upset when someone came into church and had named there new son the name we had picked without mentioning it to us. Espically since we had told everyone what we where going to name him. (the other boy is 1 month older) We worked it out, but I would mention it.

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M.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I personally think its ok to name your child whatever name you wish & no one should be offended. You can share it w/ the other individuals & let them know that the name was picked out even b/f you conceived just to be polite. Apart from that you should be good to go.

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J.B.

answers from Dayton on

Some people get sooo mad if someone else has the same name as their child. My daughter has the same first and middle name (although spelled different) as my best friends boyfriends, sister. Crazy huh! Anyways, I didn't know that was her daughters name when I used it seeing as how I don't see them that often. Other family members have told me that apparently, she is not happy that I used HER name. Well, my daughters first name came from another friends name. It is her daughters middle name and I asked if she minded if I use it and she didn't. My husband chose the middle name after a little girl we used to babysit that we adored. Anyways, my point is that somewhere, someone else in the world is going to have the same name. It's not like your friend invented the name Andrew (it's my husbands name too). I will say that I have had so many people tell me that I can't use certain names bc that is the name they want to use when they have a child. But I was the one who was actually having a child! i was a sucker and itr bothered me, but now I don't care that my daughter has the same name as some other acquaintence. Like I said I borrowed her name from a friend anyway. I will say this though, I do think it can be rude if it is someone you spend quite a bit of time around and could get confusing for the kids. For the most part, don't worry about it and name your little guy exactly as YOU want to and not what other people want.

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K.R.

answers from Dayton on

My opinion is name the child what you want. Friendships wax and wan anyway. Down the road, who knows you may move or they may move. His name should be something for him, not everyone else. Sometimes people in the same family have the same or similar names, but these are friends, not family so go ahead. Name him what you and your husband want to.

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N.R.

answers from Elkhart on

Use the name you want. It is your son and if you like Andrew name him that. I knew a little boy named Andrew and they always called him Drew. I thought that was cute.

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E.J.

answers from Columbus on

We named our son the same name as his uncle (my husband's brother) but we just asked he and his wife if they minded that we use that name or if they planned on using it in the future. They were actually thrilled and flattered that we wanted to use the same name. About 6 months later my sister in law gave her baby the same middle name that we had given our child, which is also my husbands middle name....but they didn't say a word to us. It did bother me a bit (even though I know that is elementary) and I am over it now, but I would just say to ask if they mind so it gives them some heads up. Chances are even if they don't completely agree they won't say anything but they will have the heads up. And if they do have an issue that is their problem and definately name him what you want to name him! Good Luck!

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L.W.

answers from Columbus on

Hi M.,

I was adopted by a great bunch of families who have known each other forever. When we all go on vacation, it's like the Big Chill. Throughout the year, marriage and childbirth, there are now multiple Jens, Katies and Scotts, Mikes etc.... One of the Katies is pregnant now, and we are all lobbying for our own names, or something that includes as many duplications as possible.

It's like life. And I keep telling my ever-so-sensitive 9 year old this. If you laugh at something and embrace it; no one can get any pleasure out of teasing you or being mad. And, quite frankly, if they still are, they don't belong in your life!

Congratulations on your new life!

L. (2)

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D.I.

answers from South Bend on

If you like the name then go with it. It doesn't matter that friends of yours already have kids with the same name. I wouldn't worry about what they think at all. If someone says something just tell them you like the name and you are going to name your son Andrew. There shouldn't be any reason for the other moms to get mad. If you have always liked the name Andrew make it a point to say so if another mother has an issue. Anyway if anyone has a problem with you naming your son the same name they need to get a grip.
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7 and 4.

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A.K.

answers from South Bend on

In my opinion....he is YOUR son and he should be named what YOU want him to be named! The others chose that name because they liked it and you just happen to have as great of taste in names as they did! :)

I have had a girls name picked out for 9 yrs now....I have three boys! I don't care if it was the most popular name in the USA, I'd still name my little girl Cailey Elizabeth! My sister's littlest's middle name is Elizabeth. To me, I don't really care and I also know that my sister wouldn't care either! (I asked her!)

No matter what you name your child, there will be other children out there with the same name! Name your child whatever you want to name him! That name is obviously precious to you and I think that is what is most important.

P.S. I love the name Andrew!!!

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H.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

You name your baby what you want to. If it were a really unique name I might be a little more hesitant, but Andrew is a very common (and good) name - it's my son's middle name. I don't think anyone would be offended, maybe if it were your sister I can see it causing some confusion, but a friend 4 hours away and an acquaintance at church is nothing to change your plans for.

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J.S.

answers from Terre Haute on

Hi M.,
You said you liked the name Andrew right...?? I believe if you and your better half agree and love the name...go for it!!! You already have his nickname picked for him and its a really cool nickname. There's always reasons why ppl name there kids certain names anyhow...some are after a persons family member, some just like the name, some want to name their kid a speciific name due to the fact of a famous persons name or childs name...and so on...Some just want it to be different.
If your afraid to offend anyone, maybe you can ask the other women if it would offend them. And let them know why you want to name your son Andrew...and be honest! I doubt that they would get upset, I think they might be flattered and enjoy it. Good Luck and Congrats!!!

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H.H.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi, M. --

I think names are one of the most important things you will ever give your child. If the name Andrew is something that strikes a chord for you, then surely, you should use that name. The fact that other people near you have used the name should be inconsequential. I do know that people can be weird about this kind of stuff -- like they will think they've "laid claim" to the name or something, but that's just plain ridiculous. If you get any sass, you can just tell them that your Andrew will likely be in the Peace Corps in Outer Mongolia where he's sure to be the only Andrew around...

You guys should do what you feel is best for YOUR child. Andrew apparently means something like "man warrior" -- what a cool, strong name. It's also one of the most popular names in the US (http://www.thinkbabynames.com/meaning/1/Andrew) ... so, anybody who'd quibble with you choosing "their" baby's name should check out that link, realize it's a very common name, and then get on up over themselves.

You GO, girl! He's your son, you choose whatever name you like!

Take care,
H.

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K.H.

answers from Cincinnati on

Why should they be upset?! They should/could/might feel honored that you like the name that much. Life's too short to worry about little things like that. If they do have a problem with it, it's their problem, not yours. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi M.! If you like Andrew, by all means, name him Andrew! Put the shoe on the other foot, would you been upset if someone else liked the same name that your child was named? Maybe they will be pleased to think that you both favor the same name for your kids! Go for it!!

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