Unrulely 5 Year Old

Updated on February 09, 2008
K.W. asks from Oklahoma City, OK
4 answers

My 5 year old has become a little monster. If you tell her to do something she will look right at you then walk away. The taskes are not hard simple things like take your shoes to your room, hang your backpack up, put your cloths in the basket. I have tried to ask her to do it but then she can say NO and there is not much I can do because after all I asked her to do it. She also will just not respond at all and even lately she has started to cry and even yell she is not going to. We have tried spanking, time out, grounding, taking away things she likes, and we have tried rewards when she does what she is told. She will be good for 1 day then the next day she is in trouble again. We have a weekly board where she can see what she needs to do and how many markes she has. at the end of the week if she has enough markets she gets $1.00 to spend at the dollar tree. We are getting the "can we please I will be good I promise." To which with in 2 mintues she is already acting out again.
I have caught her jumping on the furniture, going out side with out anyone else, hiding so I can not find her, and it is so bad that my 2 year old is starting to do the same thing. There have been no sudden changes in our home nor in her daily routen. She has good and bad days at school but no changes there. I am at my wits end with this child. We ignore her when she is acting out and tell her we can not hear her because she can not hear us. She tells me her bones are what makes her bad. has anyone been down this road before? PLEASE HELP.....

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So What Happened?

I would like to than every one for the advice. I am going to make a trip to the Library and look for the books that you have suggested. My husband and I BOTH will read the books and come up with a course of action.
I will keep you posted as to what happens next.

More Answers

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T.L.

answers from Peoria on

Hi K.,
I've previously shared this advice but it has helped my house with 2 boys (one with adhd) and 2 girls.

You could try out the 1-2-3 Magic System. It is written by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D. I have four children and one of my sons has been diagnosed with ADHD but this system has worked for all of my children. It takes a few weeks to get it implemented into your daily routine, yet is far worth the benefits once the kids understand your terms of discipline. Contact your local library or the school library to see if they have a copy of the book or the video that you can watch for free. The book is the winner of the National Parenting Publications Gold Award. It says that it is effective discipline for children 2-12 years of age. Good luck!

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

This is what I have done and it really has helped.

The "board" is good and keep up on that. Sit down with her about the house rules. Don't make it too lengthy just simple and to the point of what you expect her to do.

When she acts out, give one warning. If she back talks, aruges or continues, immediately put her in time out in an area where you can still see her but away from you. I find a chair against the kitchen wall was the best spot for my son.
Tell her she will need to do a 5 minute time out. Do not speak to her. Her time will not start unless she's calm and sitting down. Set a timer within her sight. If she gets up or runs off, do not say anything, go get her and put her back in the timeout.
If she's been sitting in timeout but tests the limits by talking or acting out again, reset the timer.
When the timer goes off have her turn the timer off.

She may rebel and may even really try to push her limits. She's testing to see how far she push you. It's really a game at the point when they do that. Just remain calm and focused with the timeouts.

I do not push my son to tell me sorry after his timeout, at that point it's over and I'd rather move on with our day. I will explain why he was sent to time out. Then go about the day.

You have to stay consistent with catching their good behavior and making sure they are getting plenty of "free unstructure play" and it helps if those around her follow the same punishment you do.

Best of Luck.

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T.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I have a three year old that is starting to do this as well...has there been any changes in the household? Is there any step children? what are their ages, I beleive that may be our problem...He is just wonderful when it is just him and I, but bring the rest of the family in and whammy.....let me know what you try and whether it works. Its hard to implemnent anything in this house, with the step child...long story

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C.I.

answers from St. Louis on

Mother of 4 here, 1/2 monsters 1/2 angels. Any recent changes in her surroundings?

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