Twins + a 2 Year Old

Updated on August 29, 2007
C.L. asks from Albany, OR
27 answers

I have no idea how I am going to feed two babies at once, and take care of my 2 year old, I won't be able to pay for daycare anymore, as three childrem will be to expensive. So now I have to find an at home job of some kind. Does anyone have a situation similar, and how did you or do you handle it? This is scary and I'm stressing already my husband says we can do it, but i don't think he understands what is really going to happen...how do i cope with this?

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A.H.

answers from Portland on

Well, my situation is the opposite. I have 2 and 1/2 year old twins and a 9 month old. And my twins help out so much with their baby sister. At 2 they are eager to please you. I would utilize it all you can. Even little things like. "Hand mamma the bottle" or "Can you throw the diaper away?". Don't stress about the twins. You are given what you can handle. Most couldn't do twins. I have faith in you. If you need any twin advice, let me know.

A.

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J.

answers from Omaha on

C.,
I know of a great business opportunity that you can do completely from home. The startup cost is VERY small, please contact me if you are interested. I hope to hear from you

J. ###-###-####

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M.H.

answers from Portland on

I know how you feel and it is very difficult but also worth it. My twins are now 16 months and my other son just turned three. The first year is very hard but you can do it and it gets pretty fun after that (busy but fun). My husband worked out of town for the first few months after the twins were born so I agree with the previous advice that it helps to focus your attention on only what is necessary. Give you roldest the attention he needs when the twins are asleep. Also the swing and bouncie seat were incredible. I didn't breastfeed after the first month and even then I pumped and we used bottles. One thing that we absolutely loved is called the bottle bundle. We would prop them up in boppies with the bottle bundle and their bottle and you get them both fed with hands free feedings - it helped tremendously. There is also a moms of twins group in Portland called Full house moms and dads. Let me know if you need anything and I will be happy to help. Good luck.

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M.C.

answers from Portland on

Hi C.,

I have 11-month-old twins and a four and a half year old and can relate to your dilemma.

I had to quit working because we could not afford childcare for three children on my salary. Fortunately, we were able to work out a budget based on my husband's salary to support the five of us without my income. We basically went through all of our finances and cut all the "fluff". So now we borrow DVD from the library instead of renting and NEVER order take-out. I know we are lucky that we can manage on one salary and that may not be your situation.

As far as feeding two babies at once: I am still nursing the twins (even though we struggled with some latching problems in the beginning) and have a specially designed nursing pillow that helped me nurse them simultaneously. Now they are big enough and we're all experienced enough that we don't need the pillow as much or I nurse them separately.

I know it is stressful right now, but it is more important that you are taking care of yourself during your pregnancy. I carried my twins full term and they weighed 7lbs 8 oz and 6 lbs 10 oz. I did a lot of research about successful multiple pregnancies and taking care of yourself (along with eating 175 grams of protein every day) is really key. Healthy babies will be a less stressful impact on your family when they are born not to mention cost less to care for!

I hope you know about the twins support group, Full House Moms (www.fullhousemoms.com). Connecting with other twin moms was helpful to me.

I hope some of this information is helpful to you. Good Luck!

-M.

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J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Well, first of all, you have a husband who thinks you can both do it, so that's worth its weight in gold!! Of course you CAN do it, it's just that you're nervous about how hectic it will be. Second, you have at least six months to figure this out, and I'm sure you also have some friends and family who can help. If not, there are probably local high school girls who can help out--when I had my baby, I paid my neighbor's kid to walk our dog for a few weeks. As for the money, since you're an office manager you probably have good typing skills. You can take a local class (call the hospital) for medical transcription and make pretty good money from home (if you have a computer) just typing from recorded tapes and emailing the final documents. Or ask your office if you can do any of their typing/database/stuffing envelopes, etc. admin work from home. I think there are some companies that will pay you to take customer service calls from home--look online but be VERY careful about who you trust. Parents magazine has done some stories on at-home work, so check their website. Third, start enlisting your 2 year-old's help now, and by the time the twins are born, your older child will be able to get you diapers, put toys away, etc. Fourth, and MOST important, take care of yourself and try to de-stress as much as possible. God doesn't give us more than we can handle, and you can do this. If you keep yourself stress-free, you will be able to feed both babies (the more they nurse, the more milk you make) and also save on formula!! Believe it or not, I'm actually a bit jealous as I only have one baby and it looks like I may not be able to have more...count your blessings along with your troubles and you'll always find the blessings are more plentiful!! Good luck...

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L.K.

answers from Omaha on

Don't Worry you will be able to handle it. Tired yes but able to do it. I was in your situation about 4 1/2 years ago. I had a two year old and had twin girls. I was still working and they only went to childcare 2 days a week. What I was told by everyone that had twins was SCHEDULE SCHEDULE SCHEDULE. You need to keep them on the same schedule if one gets up to eat get the other one up. I sat in a recliner and had one twin on my left side and the other next to me propped up with a pillow and feed both at the same time. My husband would put both twins in their bouncy chair and feed them that way. By doing this both girls would pee and poop at the same time so changing was easy if one needed change the other needed changing. During the day if one was hungry and other sleeping I would feed that one to have some 1:1 time and then wake up the other. I was lucky because my twins sleep through the night at 14 weeks. We only had them in the bassinett for only 2-3 weeks then got to big (my twins were 38.5 weeks at birth and 7lb 1 oz and 6 lb 7 oz) then we put them in a crib together and then stayed that way until around 6 months. Even now the sleep in the same bed more often then sleeping alone. My twins were identical with no marks at all, how we solved this issue was to have then wear only on color ie Casey would only wear yellow and Dani would only were green. That way it was easy to tell who you had. We also put nail polish on Casey's left foot to help family memeber and their sitter.
I wouldn't lie it was hard but we managed and have 3 healthy and happy girls. For my older daughter I had her help me get diapers, clothes and even feed( this lasted 2 minutes) she liked being mommy's little helper. She is now 6.5 and still loves to help mommy and daddy. If you have questions feel free to email me ____@____.com
Congrats on your new bundles to be and relax it all works out.

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J.B.

answers from Lincoln on

I quit my job about 16 months ago to stay home with my son. My husband and I agreed that to bring in some extra income I could watch a child at our house. So this summer my friend had a baby and I am babysitting for her now and another friend of mine is moving back here from Texas and I am going to watch her baby as well. My son is now 3 and he is already a great helper! He tries to entertain the baby if she gets fussy and goes and gets a pacifier for me. Maybe see if you can find some kids to watch at home if you are worried about money. I used to work in a daycare with infants, I had a room with four babies by myself so sometimes to feed them bottles I would sit on the floor with a bouncy seat on each side of me and feed them, then take turns burping them. If you are nursing I've heard that the football hold works well and you can nuse them at the same time. Hope this helps!
J.

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K.Y.

answers from Cheyenne on

Like everyone else said, you WILL get through it- the first few months will be the hardest, you will be very very tired- I went months without sleeping for more than 1-2 hours at a time, and sometimes it seemed ages between sleep for me. I did nurse, and PLEASE take the time now to go and talk to La Leche league or someone if you are feeling scared about nursing! It can be done, and now that mine are 1, it is so much fun to nurse them both at the same time! They are pretty funny now!
Keep in mind that though some may mention formula feeding along with nursing, that babies do digest formula differently than breastmilk, and you should pick one or the other for the best health of hte babies' digestive systems.
I know you mentioned possible financial problems, and formula is a big expense, when you also have to buy diapers and stuff. Nursing is free!
Above ALL, right now you need to be focusing on your pregnancy with these twins, and making SURE you are eating at least 120g of PROTEIN every day!!! This is the best way to assure you carry your babies to term and good birth weights. Talk to a local home-midwife and get some advice on such things that your OBGYN may not be telling you!
Take care! Email me with any questions you may have-
____@____.com

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J.M.

answers from Las Vegas on

First, Congratulations on your exciting news!! TWINS!! The key to success is to plan ahead but take it day by day. Go to your nearest library (to save money) and find books on twins.
They will offer loads of information. Do you have family or friends that live close or that could possibly fly in for the first few weeks?? Ask for help! They have so many mom groups for newborn support, ask the hospital that you will be going to for some referrals! Just remember you CAN do this!!
Good luck!!!

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V.

answers from Boise on

Your husband is correct, you can do it!! We have a 12 year old, 4 year old (this week is his birthday) and a set of twin girls that are 18 months. It is a long story of all that we have done and continue to do, but I can tell you that you can do it.

We actually live in Twin Falls, ID and would be more than willing to talk to you about some of the things that we have learned and been through.

If your interested, email us at ____@____.com

A little about us, I am 41 year old dad, my wife is 37 and she is now a stay at home mom.

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J.E.

answers from Salt Lake City on

C.,

I am in the exact opposite situation. I have 14 month old twins and find myself 14 weeks pregnant with what I hope in only one baby. I am a stay at home mom, I didn't think that I would like it at first but now I love it. I read the advice that has been given you and just let me say that its okay to cry because I am sure you will, everyone has and it will get better but it took my twins until they were a year before they were sleeping through the night and teething is a nightmare still. they were so early that I was told not to expect them to adjust quickly and they didn't. Just remember it is okay to cry, and never be afraid to ask family friends or even neighbors for help if you need it. You don't have to do it alone.

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T.J.

answers from Portland on

The most important thing to do is not feel stress! I know, easier said than done.

One of my friends was in a similar situation. The way they managed was to have the dad work days and the mom work nights. That way they didn't have to pay for daycare. There are customer service positions and call centers that need employees at odd hours. You could even try an after hours dr's office or hospital since you have office management experience. It might be a good short-term solution that could even become a long-term solution if it works for you!

Best wishes,

T.

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J.B.

answers from Omaha on

I have one mom that comes to my daycare and she has twins,she just drops of the one for about 5 hr or so if that helps

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K.V.

answers from Portland on

you and i are in the same position! i have a nine year old boy, two year old daughter and i am 17-weeks pregnant with identical twin girls. there is a support group i just joined called full house moms. it is dedicated to support and info for moms of multiples. they have meetings once a month in the evenings (the 2nd thursday night of each month, i think.) and you can bring your little one too. check out their web site for more info. email me if you'd like to talk to someone who knows what you're going through!

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T.K.

answers from Chico on

I had a friend who had twins. She said they had seperate eating schedules and she would feed one and then the other. She breastfed and supplemented with formula once or twice a day. If they have the same schedule, there is a double football hold, I would talk to a lactition consultant...

As for daycare, my mom did in home daycare most of my life (i'm the oldest of two). You could try to do that or look for someone who offers home daycare.

Sounds like you have a supportive husband, so I'd say you are pretty lucky right there. I know it can be difficult to stay positive at times (I tend to be a worrier myself). Maybe there is a local mom's group you can go to for support as well.

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M.

answers from Boise on

I had twins over four years ago when my oldest wasn't quite 3 years old. It is hard, and the first year is really tough. I gave up a lot of stuff just to "simplify" my life - I got a really basic haircut (low to no maintenance) and hardly ever switched to wearing just foundation (a cream to powder). Anything to cut time here or there will help as you will be VERY busy!

My twins are four years old now and absolute joys. They always have someone to play with and it is so fun! So try to keep perspective and tell yourself "if it won't matter in 5 years, it doesn't matter now".

If you choose to work, it will be difficult - not only if you are breastfeeding, but because you will be tired and so very busy. I worked a little after they turned a year, but opposite my husband's schedule. I would recommend if you have to work, work away from home because it would be difficult to work a job in-home with the twin babies.

I fed mine both at the same time (but I bottle-fed), and I had two high-chairs. They slept for the first 4 months either in a swing or a bouncy-seat (that vibrated). We bought rechargeable batteries for the swing and seat since we used them so much. Twins are usually smaller and it helps them to be elevated so they can breathe easier until they get a bit bigger.

If you have other questions or want more info, feel free to email me! ____@____.com. I would also recommend finding your local twin moms organization and getting involved. Good Luck! It's possible!
M.

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J.L.

answers from Portland on

Well I think you will find that most if not all of the data entry positions you can do from home are scams. I know it seems overwhelming right now to think about how hard it will be to raise your twins and your 2 year old. But, by the time the twins are born, your 2 year old will be 3, or close to it, right? So he will be more self sufficient then, than he is now. Everything will work out, and though there will be difficult times, I think once you find and set a routine that it will be easier. I'm 24 and I have three children, all boys who are 5, 3 and 2 and I have had to stay home with them as well because we can't afford daycare. I started my own business with Arbonne, I don't know if it would be a fit for you, but you can definitely check it out and if you're interested, I can get you more information. But I wish you the best of luck with whatever you choose to do and also with your babies! Congratulations!
J.
http://www.arbonne.com/company/sizzle.asp

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F.H.

answers from Portland on

You can do it! If finances are an issue for daycare, you may qualify for work-related daycare assistance from the state. Go to your local DHS office and pick up an application. This will at least give you some time to rearrange schedules or jobs so you don't have to worry about it. You may need to work off your husband's schedule (somebody work days and someone work swing or nights) for awhile. This would be tough, but you could do it. I have had to do this before and you just need to make sure you leave yourselves time together on the weekends so you can recuperate. Good luck!

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A.B.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hello. My name is A.. I'm a stay at home mom with 10 month old boy/girl twins. I don't work from home so I can't help you with that situation. However there are tips I can give you about taking care of two babies at one time. I took care of the twins by myself until they were about 6 months old. It was hard at times and you will need some support from your husband, family and friends. There is a great club for Mom's with multiple children called LVMOM's. They have a great bunch of woman who are willing to help out and give great advise. www.lvmoms.com I joined them this year.

I do have to say the best thing that worked for me is organization. You have to be very organized with twins. Plus you have a two year old too. I would start training your two year old how do be more independent with things if they aren't already. Also, training your child to help out with the babies will be a great help. A friend of mine took her 3 year old daughter to a class about getting a new addition to the family before she gave birth to her son. That help out a lot.

Email me with questions and I will let you know what I did to survive everything. You will get past it and don't be afraid to ask for help.

A.
____@____.com

G.C.

answers from Reno on

I�m not to sure about the twin thing even though it runs high in our family. I know I can give you info about working at home because I have three children and have decided to make it a go for work. I've done some research with billing at home and all the hospitals and doctors offices won't contract out unless you have already been doing this for several years in an office. Then I looked into having my own business with grants available but the down fall was that my children, one who is handicap, would have to be in child care. I couldn't do it. Then there was http://reno.craigslist.org/ that offered at home jobs by the hour. Now let me let you know that my youngest is now one and time is precious because children grow so fast and then they are no longer babies and than no longer toddlers and so forth. So for me to have to fight for the time I have my children or the time I can give to them is hard enough as it is. So I've found the perfect job that I can make my own hours with and not have to sell or keep products around in my office. My friend of 20 year has been doing it for eight years and five years for our company. If you are interested in it just tell me a good time to get a hold of you and a number and I can tell you all about it. My friend would join because I have just got started in this business and am still learning the ropes. In regards to a moms group I am joining one here and have hear good things about it from another mom I met this summer. It is called MOPS Mothers Of Preschoolers. You can also have infants and children up to the age of five. They meet 2days a month and the dues are very little to nothing depending on your circumstances. Childcare is even provided for the little ones and preschool for the older ones and this is in the same building the number for info is ###-###-####.
I hope I was able to help you and look forward to telling you more info if you are interested.

~G.

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A.E.

answers from Las Vegas on

I know exactly what you are going through. I have twin 3 month old girls and a 2 1/2 year old boy. I was so freaked out at first, like you I didnt know how I was gonna go it. But you know what you just do! You will figure it out. I feed my girls at the same time. I put them between my legs and give them their bottles. (Im not nursing, cant help if you plan to nurse) Its not as hard as I first thought is was going to be. With my 2 year old I just ask him to help anyway he can, bring me diapers, wipes stuff like that. I also make time for him. While the twins are young they will sleep most of the time esp if they are early like most twins are. While my girls were asleep I played with, read to, sang with my son. You will be amazed at how natural it is. If you have problems or feel overwhelmed, I did I think we all do, there is a twins group in Reno. Nothern Nevada Moms of Twins, look it up in yahoo and its also in the phone book under Moms of Twins. I belong to them and they are a GREAT help. Good luck and Im here if you need me!! Also you can get WIC they will help with formula or other stuff like Milk, juice, Cereal for your babies, and you while you are pregnant. Hang in there, you will do great!

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S.C.

answers from Las Vegas on

Relax and breathe!!!! I have a five yr old son and 4 mo old twin girls.i also had a "freak out" period and was a retail manager for 10 yrs,also realizing i couldnt possibly afford day care for three.i decided to stay home.i know a two year old is a bit more difficult than a 5 yr old but all ages have challenges,your husband is right you can do this! You will be tired,money will be tight and it will be noisy,but you will also find a routine that works! Rememberr new borns eat every 2-4 hrs but also sleep 20 hrs a day,it will allow time for your 2 yr old and by the time it gets more hectic everryone is somewhat settled in.when in retail i worked for the body shop(like bath and body works) they have an amazing at home business!it has been very successful,just go to the website.
Whats really going to happen is you will have two new amazing babies to be in awe at!it is all worth it and not as scary as it may seem.use every resource you can (do you have friends you can get gently used items from?)ask everyone you know for help and stay calm for your babies! If you have any questions please ask!im new to mamasource and would like a mama "friend".

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C.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

C.,
When my twins were born my son was 3, so I can relate to how you're feeling. I just remember being equally excited and terrified.
I'm a stay at home mom and you're right, childcare for 3 kids is just too expensive. Just tighten your belt, do without the things you can do without! And you may want to be prepared financially to quit work much sooner than you might think. It's likely that by your 7th month or so you'll really need to be off your feet. I got put on full bed rest.
As far as feeding two kids at once, changing two kids etc. it's not nearly as bad as you might think. I used a nursing pillow to wrap around me, their heads in the middle with their bodies under my arms. Don't let anyone discourage you from nursing twins. My doc told me that a womans body can make enough milk to feed quads. Ouch! Nursing saves time because you don't have to prepare stinky formula, clean bottles or make trips to the store. Nursing, especially with twins, will save you a TON of money in the long run. Another perk is producing enough milk for two burns mucho calories. My baby weight just fell off. My best feeding tip is when one wakes up to eat, wake the other one so they can establish similar schedules. That will make for a lot more sleep time for you.
Get ready for your stroller to be your best friend. I had the Graco DuoGlider. It was reasonably priced and the carseats click right into it which saves time and energy galore. Whatever stroller you decide on, don't get the side by side kind. They're too big to take anywhere and a total pain.
Try not to be so scared. It's a crazy, hectic experience, but awesome. One day you'll hear of a friend or aquaintance having twins and you won't think "oh you poor thing" it's more like "oh you're so lucky!"
I hope this has helped. Feel free to message me about anything.

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A.B.

answers from Lincoln on

WOW!! You are going to be busy. I think that the most important thing is to SAVE your money now so you aren't so stressed when the babies get here. You are so young and will have a lot to do... make sure that your husband is there to take all the stress off you!!!

Good luck
A.

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C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I agree with all the advice already given, and I don't have any on the work from home. However, I just wanted to let you know about the twin sale listed below. Might be an opportunity to join and meet other mothers with twins.

Super Sale ~ Bake Sale

SL Mothers of Twins Fundraiser
Saturday Sept 16th
8:30 am to 12:00
Reams Parking lot
8725 So Highland Drive
8 Families are registered to sell (so far)
There will be a variety of items:
Infant & Children�s Clothing
Toys ~ Games ~ Books
Basic Baby Needs
Swings, Highchairs, Bouncy Seats
And Other Miscellaneous Goods
(CASH ONLY)
PLUS ~
Hot Chocolate & Coffee
Muffins and other baked goods too

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T.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi, I also had a 2 year old when my twins were born. It is really hard to nurse them at the same time. Advice that was never given to me. Nurse one at a time!! You need an extra hand to re adjust, or play with the other child. If you dont plan to nurse, I put both of my girls in my lap and fed them a bottle at the same time.
About working at home, I have my own business selling beef jerky, this is something simple you can do while staying with your babies. Please contact me via email, I would love to chat with you!!
my website is: www.pearsonsjerkys.com and my instant messenger is: ____@____.com for MSN and tonisjerkys for yahoo. :)

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J.T.

answers from Honolulu on

C.

I understand how you feel. I have a 6 yr. old, a 4 yr. old and my 1 yr. old twins. I had to quit my job as a store manager because it was not worth paying for daycare for my Twins and my four year old. The financial situation is the hardest thing for me to deal with. I am 28 yrs. old, a stay home mom and my boyfriend works two jobs to get us by. But we do it. You may need to cut down on some luxuries but you'll be okay.

Nothing can prepare you for twins not even having children already. It's a whole different ball game. But your motherly insticts will kick in and guide you. I had boy/girl twins they were born premature. At 18 weeks I already went into pre-term labor and was put to bed rest till my due date. I went in again at 24 weeks and was put on medication to control my contractions. Then finally I gave birth at 29 weeks. They were about 3lbs. each. And they stayed in the hospital for 5 weeks. Because they were premies they did not have the sucking reflex so they were feed by tube. I used a breast pump as soon as I got out of surgery for my c-section. Because now u need to feed for two.

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