Trying to Get My One Year Old to Stop Hitting and Pulling Hair!

Updated on November 23, 2006
D.C. asks from Harrisburg, PA
3 answers

My one year old has recently started to hit and pull hair. I know she's just playing and doesn't realize that it hurts but I want to curb the behavoir early. I have been grabbing her hands and saying "No!" sternly as well as giving her other things to redirect her attention but she is very stubbron and countines to repeat the actions until she is put in her playpen or crib. I do not want to hit her back becuase I don't think thats an effective teaching method and becuase my mom tried it when she was snatching glasses and all the baby did was hit my mom. Is there anything else I can try or is it just a matter of staying the course untils he gets the picture?

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So What Happened?

Alright so I'm going to stay the course and keep doing what I'm doing. I'm also incorperating the idea of showing her to hug not hit. That sounded like something that would work well since I think she likes the physical contact. Also I am going to try and start teaching her some sign language after the holidays becuase I think she's trying to say something but can't communcate it well. Thank you everyone!

More Answers

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C.J.

answers from Harrisburg on

Doing exactly what you are doing is the key. Redirecting he attention, and telling her "No Hitting" is great. My daughter is at an age, where she will go to do something like hit, and or touch something she is not oo, and she will say,"NO" before she even does it, so she understands she is not to do the following. Kepp up the great work. Dont hit her back, and you are correct when you say,"that is not an effective teaching method". They dont understand just yet, that it hurts. They are displaying feelings, and because they can't talk, they have no other way to show you there feelings, than to get frustrated and or hit, cry, temper tantrum etc...You are doing a great job.

1 mom found this helpful
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H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Sounds like you are dealing with it appropriately. The only suggestion I would have is that you tell her "no hitting" or "not nice" or "that hurts" but don't make a big deal out of it or offer a lot of attention over it. Just quickly move her on to an appropriate activity or new toy. You don't want to reward her with attention by fussing too much over her hitting. Instead give her attention with the new activity and get her interested in playing with it.

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H.T.

answers from Philadelphia on

D.,
My son used to laugh at me when I would give him the stern "no." I know it's appropriate, but with his temperment, it just never seemed to work. So I decided a softer more gentle approach that I read in "Positive Parenting".
When he hit me, especially if it was in play or just trying to get my attention, I would say, "Please love mommy, don't hit. Hug." It took a few days of emense patience, but it was a huge success.
One day, he was hitting my friends coffee table with a spoon, and I told him, "Don't hit that," and he stopped, hugged the table and gave it a kiss. :-)
If he does bit or hit in malace, he does get a time out. He loves his crib though, so it's not entierly punitive, but it just gives him time to reset or "work it out". He doesn't cry or anything, but he always comes back with a renewed attitude. But the previous has worked so well, we don't have many time out's that he doesn't ask for anyway.

Another friend of mine had a hitter, and we bought him one of those punch bags that pop back up when you hit them. And when he hit, we'd redirect him to the bag. Depending on your childs temperment, maybe this is a better solution.

Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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