Trying for 2Nd Child Pros and Cons Need Advice:) Thnx!!

Have you and your son's father gotten married yet? In July you referred to him as your "sons father", so I am assuming that you are not married.

Honestly, I would suggest that you get married before you guys have another child - I may just be a little old fashioned - but after 7+ years together and one son - it may be time to make the commitment and ensure that your child(ren) will be cared for. What does your boyfriend say about having another child out of wedlock? Does he want to? Then he needs to step up and marry you.

You were unsure in February about having a 2nd child - and you still seem unsure. So just wait on it. If you need encouragement to have another child, then you are not ready to do so.

You where pining over a "lost love" from over 10 years ago in July. Is this the impetus for having another child?

Get your life in order. Get your head straight. Get your relationship straight.
All before you bring another child into the world.

Lower your standards. That was a big thing for me. With only one child I could still clean my house, spend time with my husband and squeeze in me time. With two I have had to adjust my way of perceiving good enough. There is only one of me and yet the demands are ever present. I let the house slide far more than I ever have. Then again family and couple time trumps housework and chores so I have lowered my standards about my house. Something had to give and it wasn't my husband or my kids. Ultimately you find your way; it is not always pretty but so long as everyone is clean, fed and happy my day is considered a raging success. Good luck.

The pro - watching my kids play together. Pure, simple joy on their parts. My baby belly laughs at everything my toddler does which in turn sets my toddler to giggling like a maniac. Absolutely priceless and worth all the growing pains of adjusting to two.

So you are past your high school crush? Because bringing another life onto this planet will surely make that better?
Find yourself first, then worry about another baby.

A.:

So you want to have another child with a man you don't really love? You posted about thinking of your first love "every day of your life" and you want another child with your husband? WHY? Why would you do that to a child and your husband?

You asked this question back in February as well -
http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/7930919444489175041
got a lot of great answers then too.

You need to get your first love out of your life - your brain - your heart - and use all the energy you have been using pining for "what could have been" and use it on your marriage. If you "settled" for your husband - then you need to sit back and rethink what you are doing. You made a commitment to him. He deserves better than half of your heart.

As to kids? I would NOT add any more to your family until you get these issues resolved for your first love.

Hope this helps!

Look at it this way. You still need to make dinner for 3...instead you'll be making it for 4. You'll still need to get out the door. You'll just have one more in tow. It really is much easier going from 1-2 than 0-1. You just won't have that overwhelming culture shock that went along with #1.

No, I do not think you should have another child until you and your boyfriend complete some premarital counseling, deal with your issues, and then get married.

Cons, bringing another child into an unstable marriage? You are more than a little obsessed with your ex boyfriend.

I am being quite serious, you post about this obsession quite a bit. You need to figure that out before you bring more kids into the picture.

Congrats A.! I have 6 yo son. After a lot of thoughts, I decided to have another baby. I just found out I'm positive.
I am sure you can do it :)

For me it just fell into place...you just add one more to the mix. Mine are about the same age difference. At first, the baby just needs to eat/sleep and snuggle so you actually have more time than you think. BUt ye syou have one more to get ready to go out the door. By the time the baby starts staying awake more and becoming a little more of a handful, your oldest will be getting more independent. It's a good balance :) And yes, the house work gets pushed off a little more but remember they are only little once and they'll remember the time you spend with them more than the house.

Well..we have 3 kids so we must have figured it out and managed with our second ;)
Sorry, couldn't resist.
I was terrified some days while pregnant with my second. My first was not(and still is not) easy. There were days I would loose it, wondering what I had gotten myself in to and just knowing that it was never going to work and it was a stupid idea that I was now stuck with.
But, honestly, it wasn't even half as bad as I thought it was going to be. Sure, there were days that I wanted to rip my hair out and run away. But all in all it was a lot easier than I ever thought it was going to be. We just took it as it came and a schedule and system worked themselves out.
Same with when our third came along.

Very hard to prepare for, but well worth it. It does take a bit to get the swing of things, but didn't it take a bit for the first as well. Your sons age is prefect to help get baby out the door. He can carry the diaper bad and keep baby entertained in the back seat while in the car. Going from one to two is the biggest difference for me after two you just go with the flow and it all works out in the end.

So your first will be around 4 1/2 maybe five when you have another. Basically totally independent and in nursery school or getting ready for Kindergarten. The transition should be easy. You have done it before, so there is nothing new.

I actually spend all my time with my first. The other two are easy ;-)

You are already doing the work, it really isn't much more.

Try the baby-whisperer book. My 2nd and third kid sleep great at 5 weeks. In fact, the third was doing 12 hours at 10 weeks! So sleep doesn't' have to be an issue ;-)

I think it's just one of those things you learn on the go. Just like bringing home your first child. Every situation will be different, so you just have to crash-course your way through the first few weeks, until you find what works for ou.

Have fun! :)

You'll be ok. We have 5 tiny ones age baby to early elementary school.
We get 5 kids out the door each morning. Ask me in 20 years how I survived. You just do it. You will adapt! :)