Hi mums, I am 32 and have been married for 10 years. We have a 5 yo son. Our relationship has always been rocky but lately it's hell. He is criticising me 24/7. Nothing I do or say is good enough.We both full-time but ne never helps around the house. I am the one doing it all:cleaning, cooking, playing with our son...he is in front of the laptop all the time. But he is the one to criticise. I am tired of all this, I am sick of all the name-calling, tension, yelling, cursing and threats about divorce. We live in his home and everytime he finds some fault or I disagree with him I always get" pack your stuff and get out". I feel so disrespected and humiliated, I hate to see my son witnessing all. When we fight he always starts in front of our son and tells him that I am a bad mother, a bad person and that he shouldn't love me. Of all the things he says this is just heart-breaking. The "issue" is now that I had to go off the pill because I don't feel good on them, so he has to use a condom. He refuses to wear it so I turn him down. He goes crazy, he literally throws a tantrum each time he doesn't get his way. I am so sad and I asked him if this is his love for me and for our son. He threw me out again, asking for divorce. I am wrong here? I cannot just please him when he wants it and how he wants it. I have always given in, let him have things his way but nothing good came out of this. He isn't respectful, not to say loving...I miss the affection. He doesn't give any affection at all. It's hard for me to live like this and would like to here what you would have done if you were in my shoes. Thank you and God bless!
leave.
do it today.
there is no hope in this scenario.
do NOT give in to the sex demands!!!!!!!!!
sorry, hon. this is just awful.
khairete
S.
Yes, you are wrong in continuing to stay. How many times does he have to invite you to leave before you actually do it?
That isn't love, and that isn't a "relationship".
Get out and show your son what a strong woman looks like, please, before he learns how to treat women from his father.
Welcome to mamapedia.
Where are you from? If you are NOT in the US - I don't know what your country does for battered women.
First of all - you live in "HIS" house? Really? You're married. it's your home too.
Why did you marry this guy?
Why have you stuck around for 10 years?
What exactly are you looking for? You have chosen to stay - WHY?
He wants a divorce? Call him on it!
He wants you to leave? Fine. Take your son and leave.
Regarding sex? Find another way. He doesn't want to wear a condom? Okay. He's talking to you. You two aren't compromising. What is he willing to do? Does he want more kids? Obviously you don't want more kids with him. Did you talk with your doctor about what other forms of birth control you could use?
There is so much going on in your post, to be honest, I don't know which to address first. Your marriage sounds messed up. You are teaching your son how to treat women by staying with this "man". Have you discussed marriage counseling with your husband? If he's not amenable to it, you should go on your own so you can find your voice, find your backbone and figure out what you are going to do.
NO ONE else can tell you what to do. This is YOUR life. What you will get here are suggestions. I suggest you figure out if he's worth keeping. Only YOU can make that decision. I don't live your life, I don't walk in your shoes...
Good luck!
so you stopped being intimate with your husband and now your wondering why he is crabby? make an appt with your dr and try different birth controll. there are many options. and all of them will be different.
then make an appt with hubby and a marriage counselor to resolve this.
I can count two times each that my husband and I told each other to leave. Our last round of counseling (we went two separate occasions) we learned to NEVER say that again. We know that if one of us says it, we 100% mean it and the marriage is over. That's horrible.
There is a LOT wrong here. I'm 32, married 11 years - and if it was this bad ever I wouldn't stay a minute longer. Go.
It will be so damaging to your son if he continues to see his father treat you this way. You must put an end to this behavior. On the other hand, I can't imagine refusing to have sex with my husband. That too is a deal breaker. sounds like you should consult an attorney and tell your husband you will gladly gran this th edivorce he has been asking for.
this is no way to live. I wouldn't call it a marriage either.
Do you want to save your marriage? Are you and your husband both willing to go to marriage counseling? If not? I'd plan an exit strategy.
I know I'd be cranky too if I wasn't getting sex. I know Tyler would be cranky too. You choose to go off the pill. did you discuss this with him BEFORE you got off so you could find out other birth control options? You say you miss the affection, but if you unilaterally decided to change birth control methods without discussing it with him? He has every right to be upset.
Personally? I would plan an exit strategy. Next time he says "I want a divorce!!" Give it to him. Go to a lawyer and find out what your state allows. Oh wait. You are from the UK aren't you? I say that because of "mum". Get to an attorney and find out what your rights are, no matter what country you are in.
Start saving money. Plan to be able to take care of yourself and your son on your own. Not like you aren't doing that already.
Be prepared. Stop being his door mat to wipe his feet on.
