Transition from My Bed to His Own

I would start by putting him in his own bed after he falls asleep. If he wakes in the middle of the night, put him back in yours for about a few days or a week. If he does not wake up great, it was easier than you expected.

It DEFINITELY IS a transition where he will need extra reassurance and maybe even demand a little more attention from you when awake, so that he can know that you still love him and are not mad at him. So extra hugs, kisses, and words of affirmation may be needed during this time.

Then after a week, if he wakes in the night, reassure him he is ok and then if you have to, let him cry. Of course as always, make sure he has all of his essential needs met (diaper change, drink, pacifier, etc.) so that you will know for yourself that he really is only crying because he is not used to this new situation.

I have 6 boys, I had to eventually just let him cry. Crying will not hurt him, and it is good for him to get out some extra stress. You may need to put a pillow on your head.

Going in there 5 minutes, to reassure him,,, then add 5 minutes to make 10. Go in to reassure in 10, then the next time wait 15 minutes, and then the next time 20 , and so on, until he gives up! If you have a 2 way baby monitor to where you can talk to him instead of going in there, it makes this a lot easier and he does not actually have to see you, but just hearing you lets him know you care. This lets him know that you are still there, but gives him time in between each reassurement to wear himself down. This process may take 15 minutes or about an hour- depending on how determined he is and how determined you are.

It could take 1 or 2 nights or up to about a week, which means that you will lose a little sleep,,, so go to bed an hour earler if possible, but it will be WELL worth the night time inconvenience and feeling of tired. You may want to take extra naps during this transition period. Crying will not hurt him- trust me- as I said, I have 6 boys. They all slept with me, except 1 who did not like to sleep with me because he slept better in his bed and preferred it from birth. LOL.

I just wrote this suggestion to another mom...sorry if the he/she and age doesn't fit your situation!! Just didn't want to retype it!!

Couple things people either agree w/ me about or hate!!!:
0. Set her bedtime 30 min to an hour before it normally is. My boys are now 4 and 6 yrs old. To this day, they sleep one hour longer in the morning..and more sound thru the night, if I make them go to bed 30 min before I normally do! Weird!
1. To transition my first son into his bed, I took my mattress and put it on the floor beside his bed. Then used the book requested...go in after 2 min, then 5 min, then 10 min, so on, to reassure them. That way, you're not constantly getting up out of bed...your right there!!
2. Bring a chair next to her bed. Start or finish your night time ROUTINE w/ some books. She can sit in her bed and you can sit in the chair. Then she'll associate positive things w/ her bed.
3. If there is a particular 'Mommy' scent like a perfume or something, wear it everyday and spray some on the side of the mattress or pillow(not where she's huffing toxic fumes all night!!) She'll connect w/ the scent and not feel so alone in her room.
4. I HATE to say this to someone I don't know...but make sure your husband isn't using the crib too much during the day so it's easier for him. I know a 2 yr old behaving the same way towards her carseat after the mother gets her back from 'dad's weekend'. She flails and freaks out at the mere sight of her carseat. It seems they strap her in there when she's too much of a handful. If your daughter is spending too much time in there alone during hours she could be cuddling or playing and socializing, the crib is not going to be a relaxing place!! Sorry to have 'asked or accused that'...I have no idea what the dad does during the day from reading your personal profile!! Pls don't be mad! Just trying to help!!
5. MY BIGGIE!!...My boys' cribs were next to their windows. I put about 10 pacifiers on the windowsill. Everytime they woke up in the night(as soon as they could pull up)I would go in there, pull them up to standing and walk them over to the windowsill...make their hand pick up the pacifier and stick it in their own mouth. Two wks of doing this and they pull up to get their own!!! No more getting up every two hours!!!! Yippee!!!!

Ignore the previous crappy response. It's your life and if you want to move in with your boyfriend congrats!

Secondly move his crib in your room. take off the drop down (if it has one) and bunt it right up to your bed. Show him it's not a scary place. Let him continue to sleep with you for a few more days, then start transitioning to sleeping in the crib. Reassure him that your still there.

Also try a toddler bed.

Hi Maegean,

Well, it's not just single moms that find having the baby in bed to be easier :) It's often the only way for those of us with babies that have a high need to be close to their parent(s) to handle the situation. I would first bring the crib into your room and put it right next to your bed with the side down. Then when he falls asleep in your bed, you can move him over into the crib fairly easily. Then if he wakes up, reassure him that you're there, so that he gets comfortable being the crib and learns that the crib is not bad. Over time, you may be able to put him directly in the crib after you rock him to sleep and then even put him into bed and pat his back until he falls asleep. It all depends upon his disposition. My boys were both high need, so they slept in our room until they were over two - when they were older, we put a twin bed by our bed and then later moved that same bed to their "big boy" room. My experience was that crying it out doesn't work - it might seem to have the effect you want, but it really teaches them you're not there to meet their needs. You will have a transition with your son when your boyfriend moves in and you do need to do everything to make sure your son's emotional needs are met. Another option is the approach suggested by another poster and that is to put a mattress on the floor by your son's crib and stay there till he falls asleep. That might work well once you show him the crib is a safe place to be in your room, but you may have a long way to go in that transition given his current reaction.

M. do it now and don't wait. My son is now in elementary school and still sleeping in my bed. I didn't want him to cry himself to sleep when he was little so I always gave in and let him come back into my room. I wish I had listened to my friends who said "just let him cry it out one night and he'll be over it". They all had children and probably knew what they were talking about. Be stronger than I was and make the decision now to move him out of your bed. You might try putting a mattress on the floor next to your bed; that's what we're trying now and it seems to work some of the time.

Hi,
I have 2 childrena and I also work for a preschool. I have a suggestion for to try if you like.
First... Take the crib apart and remove it from his room all together. Place the matress on the floor and start having him take naps on the mattress. You lay on the floor next him at first to help him fall asleep. This may take several days or even a couple of weeks for him to get used to. Once you have him comfortable with naps, start him at night. This should be less frightening for him thatthe crib and will also help to ease him to a toddler or twin bed.
Good luck!
E.

we too co-sleep. love it! my concern with your situation is that your son is going to have issues moving to a new bed so mom can have someone else in her bed. just a thought.
good luck.

Your first mistake is moving in with your boyfriend. Don't move in with your boyfriend. Wait until he is ready to marry you, then do it the right way. You have your son as a responsibility right now.

As far as the transition...wait until he falls asleep in a rocking chair whiel you are rocking him to sleep, then move him to the crib. You need to remove him from the bed completely. Keep the crib in your room next to your bed. If he wakes and cries, allow him to cry a little, then soothe him in a rocking chair.