Hi Moms,
I have a 3 year old son who is very chatty especially around my adult friends. I understand that it is great for a child to be inquisitive, but what do you do when your child constantly asks the same question over and over to other people and they are getting extremely annoyed? LOL: They get so annoyed that I'm beginning to feel that they are avoiding me! I've talked to my son when he does this by telling him to stop asking questions, and I've tried to distract him. It works for awhile, but then he's back at it again! Is this a phase? Help!
My daughter did that... the way we stopped it was to answer once then ask the question back to her the next time she asked it. What she wanted was to be included in the conversation.
I've recommended this book before here: How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and How to Listen so Kids will Talk, Faber/Mazlich and it might be a good one for you. If he's repeating the same answered question its not being inquisitive, its asking for attention. 3 is young for reasoning, but I found at all ages, stating expectations before a situation helps support the situation. So using that book's "technique" you might have a conversation before a guest arrives stating the problem and asking him to help come up wit a solution. "Last time ----- was here you interrupted our conversation many time with questions we had already answered. That makes it hard for us to visit. It seems like you want to visit with us too? Is that right? What could you do while I talk with my friend while she's here this afternoon? How many questions would be enough? After she leaves we can spend a whole hour reading (or whatever)" Stuff like that. And then if he starts doing it, you can say, "Remember we talked about asking too many questions when my friend is here? You just asked 5 questions and we said 4 was enough. Can you you do ----- like we talked about?"
Make sure you're satisfying his need for one on one time with you before guests come over so he won't feel like he has to compete for attention. The questions might be his immature way of letting you know he needs more interaction. He sounds charming!
I would say it's a phase. Are you sure these adults are getting annoyed? He's 3 and I would think he's just adorable. 3 yr olds rarely annoy people to the extreme that they avoid you especially if they have children of their own. And if they are annoyed...I would say "oh well...their loss". That's your child and he can have his own personality. He will grow out of this...don't worry. I remember when my son was that age we used to joke around that he would go with Freddy Kruger because he was not shy AT ALL and would talk to everyone.
Yes, you spend 2 years getting them to talk and another 10 for them to me quiet--LOL! Really though this sounds very normal. I would say if your friends are avoiding you then they really are not your friends. They should know that this is a phase and will pass.
My son does it too. He's 4 and we have really had to be proactive in stopping the endless chatter. Don't get me wrong, we love that he talks and asks questions...and we go out of our way to explain answers to him and instead of saying 'i don't know' we will try to explore the answer together. However, the repetition does get annoying. For example, last night he asked his dad a question (who happened to be taking a drink at that moment)...he repeated that question 3 times before daddy could even finish his drink, and the 3rd time he actually got a little attitude behind it!!! We have to remind him continually that HE is not the be all and end all, and that patience is a learned behavior that he must practice. I think your son is old enough to *begin* to learn these things, too...and Im sure that your friends will see you intervene and be supportive. It might also help to empower your friends to *allow* them to remind him that he need not repeat himself over and over and over....then they wouldn't feel stuck in the middle of it!
~L.
