TOO Attached??

I think this is very normal. It made me crazy, too. :) Just try not to leave him much; it WILL NOT spoil him. You have to help him trust you. And maybe a sitter just isn't a good idea right now. I didn't leave my son at all unless he was asleep because it was too hard on him. He's much better now, but he has had phases of separation anxiety. They are rough on everyone.

9 months is when my now 15 month old went through the seperation anxiety stage. It lasts a couple of weeks, during which he is needing to be assured that he is safe and loved. Once he gets the reassurance he needs, he'll move on to other things. This too shall pass, but if you're not patient enough to get him through it, it may last longer than expected. Good luck.

I know you don't want to hear "it's a stage", because for Mother's who have gone through this we nod their head saying "ahhh poor girl, this too shall pass", Mother's who are actually going through it at this moment are saying "AGGG, what do I do before I pull my hair out"

Here's what you do. Make it a game. Sit him in a room, say "Bye bye, Mama will be back" and leave the room, 2 seconds later, pop back in, "YEAH Mama's home" and have a little dance, a hug and a kiss and then leave the room again, this time wait 5 seconds and so on. He will think is this a game and all of a sudden "bye bye" is NOW fun (because right now all he knows is that "bye bye" sucks)

Do it a few times a day and gradually you'll see that you can stay out of the room longer. He will start to get bored waiting on you to return and start to entertain himself, but he knows you'll come back and when you do, it's FUN DANCE PARTY TIME!

Mark my words, when he leaves you running into to Pre-K, you're crying and he's saying, "BYE BYE see ya Mommy", you'll remember back to this time and miss the old days for just one moment, then you'll smile because you raised a well adjusted child.

Good Luck, God Bless!

Hi If you do have a babysitter I would set up a time every week to have your son go to them same day same time make it a routine. and when you drop him off make it quick do not hang around. He will grow out of this but this really is how 9 month olds are and it usually does not last long.

Hi S.!

It's that golden age! I remember it well, at 9 months old, our baby was very clingy. There is just something about that age that makes them that way.
I know it can be frustrating, but I promise, "this too shall pass!" If you just can turn it around in your head and think,"my baby will never want to be around me this much ever again, I should enjoy it!" Hang in there S.. :)
L.

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I had that very problem with my daughter and she's 3. I had to go back to work after being a stay-at-home mom for 2 1/2 years so when I found out that I was going to be starting a new job, I reserched sitters and found one in our area and asked her if it would be ok to bring her over for a little while every day until I had to start my new job. Every day at a different time I would take her over to the sitter's house for a couple of hours but before I left, I would always tell her that I'll be back in a little bit. For a few days she cried the entire time but within a week she learned that I was telling the truth and that I really was coming back for her. Now she tells me bye before I even get out the door and she doesn't cry anymore. Just give your son some time to adjust to having someone else watch him and always tell him that you'll be coming back soon to get him. Before you know it he'll be fine with whomever you have sit with him.

Good Luck to you,

M.

Don't blame yourself he is just a baby...it is a phase and he will outgrow it...look at it this way--he's bonded with you...maybe in an extreme way right now, but without the bond he feels with you what would he have? anyway my daughter went through the same thing...my husband couldn't even calm her when she would start screaming...but i just had to have a few moments to myself...i actually had to sneak out of the living room crawling between chairs to get away, then my husband would give me at least 20 minutes but i was not allowed to talk anywhere in the house or she would hear me and start screaming even louder...good luck...i remember how hard it is...babies aren't spoiled--they r loved!...now 2 year olds are a whole different story.

My daughter was really attachde to me at that age, I wass, and am a single mother, so it was just me. I started working when she was nine months old, and I worked at my babysitter's house tow days a week for a half day, which helped with the transition, luckily my friend ran a daycare. My friend was great, when I was leaving she would distract my daughtersomehow, and I would leave and she'd bee fine, she didn't even realize I'd gone. If she didn't do that my daughter would throw a fit when I left, I think it helped that there were other kids there.
Things will get better in time, but hopefully this helps you in the meantime.

Yes, this is how 9 month babies are, and congrats on having a great, attached relationship with your son. Hang in there because it will get better. Keep leaving the room when you have to so he learns that you do come back. Babies live in the moment and all he knows is that you are leaving and he doesn't want you to. It will take time for him to learn that you will come back.

When my boys were that age I read up on child development so I knew what to expect. There are lots of web sites and books that can help you understand what is going on in your little guy's mind.

Good luck.