Toddlers in Pageants

My ex wanted to do the pageant thing with my daughter when she was little and I refused.
Kids don't need to be spray-tanned, wigged, lipsticked, and rouged, and paraded around like prize poodles. Even poodles don't need to be subjected to that.
I don't care if the prize was a full scholarship to Harvard, I wouldn't do it.

Personally, never in a million years would I do something like that! I cannot imagine a sweet 2 year old with a spray tan and fake teeth, and the way it is overly glamorized makes me sick. These are children, not 20 year old girls! If I were you, I would enroll her in a dance class. She could still perform in front of people and feel all girly, but it's not taking away her childlike innocence either.

she is young.
Little girls like playing dress up and being "Princesses."
They don't understand the adult connotations of it.
They just think it is 'fun.'

then you have to think, about what you want the pageants to teach her?
About herself, as a young girl... and how she is perceived.... by Men.
And, by others.

And how will the pageants, impact her own values???? and priorities?

There are other ways, to save for college.
If you start now, with a college fund, by the time she is college age, you will have a nice savings for her.

A scholarship at what price, I would ask.

Gonna have to vote "no" on the glitz pageants. A friend of mine has a 6 yo that has been doing natural pageants for about 2 years and they love them. AND are there scholarships at the natural pageants? If not, I'd wonder why...

Take the entrance fee(s) and start a college fund--or contribute to it if you've already got O. established. Money better spent, I'd think.

I watch toddler's and tiaras. There is nothing glamorous about those little girls! Except for the talent, its all fake. I think the glitz and glamor pagents send the wrong message. That even after you put on a wig, fake tan, and a $400+ dress, you still are not the prettiest one there.

The natural pagents on the other hand I think are okay if you're little girl goes into it for the fun aspect and can handle the emotions of possibly not getting a crown.

My advice is to take the money that you would spend on entry fees and costumes and put it in a savings account.

M.

I'm with Denise. She might like them now, but soon they'll be an obsession and that scholarship will be a moot (sp?) point and she'll only do them to win. Have you ever seen toddlers and tiaras?? I suggest watching that show. It sheds a light on what kind of mom's and toddlers are out there aiming to win and doing nothing short of murdering a barbie doll to win.

Just MY opinion:

I would say don't do it...you say you can keep her in natural pagents but after just one you are willing to make an exception for state. I think it would be too easy to get caught up in it, and therefore putting your daughter and yourself into a negative environment. There are other things she can do to earn scholarships that involve her using her talents and not just her looks.

Are you sure you want the kind of responses that most will be?

While I think there are some die-hard pageant people, the vast majority of people "out there" think it's just wierd. I find that it really sets up the girls for huge disappointments in life and reinforces to them the mistaken concept that your value is based on looks, body, the way you walk, the way you dress and the way you "perform" when people are watching. It's so opposite of what should be valued in a young woman.

My DD has always been tall, thin and strikingly beautiful (which she did not inherit from me or my husband just the way the genes combined) - when she was a child people would stop me in the street to tell me how gorgeous she was - she did some modeling but I found it to be so awful, so much waiting, so much artificial stuff (primping, smiling a certain way, etc.) that we stopped. She is now a teenager, about 5'10" and begs me to let her try modeling or pageants. Our answer is that when she's grown up and out on her own she can try it - but while we are in the process of raising her to be a contributing member of society, someone who loves God, she (and we) are not going to spend days and weeks, financial and other resources trying to out do other girls with hair, makeup, walks, kissing up to judges, etc.

Instead we make her keep her grades up, volunteer, and be involved in one school and one church activity. So she helps teach sunday school, she babysits for an autistic boy who adores her and will only go with her, and she does flagline at school. The goal is that her physical beauty is only a small part of her and does not in any way measure who she is, or establish any value - but that her value was established by Christ's life & sacrifice and that she can add much more to society by giving back and helping out.

Physical beauty is nice - but it really does fade as the years go by - even with plastic surgery!

I personally find them horrifying. What a message of self worth(lessness) does it send to little girls? You will need way way way more than 10K for college in 16 years.I would start saving now. If you start saving now, rather than in 5 or 6 years., the difference will more than make up for any possible pageant winnings. Plus since I assume most entrants lose, for most people it must be an expense rather than a profit. Things that she would enjoy doing with you - going to the park, rolling/tossing a ball to each other, building with blocks, reading books, going for walks. Best of luck.

I would absolutely never put my child in one of those.
Watch "toddlers in tiaras" It's horrifying.
little girls should not be dressed up like little hookers.
little girls should be little girls , they should be playing , they should be running and scraping their knees. Toddlers should not be primping.
and the $$$$ you will spend to dress her up and pimp her out will out weigh the $ you will get.

You asked....Here goes....HELL NO! I am sorry but I am so anti pageant I can barely stand it.....Little girls should never be subjected to it...your DD might enjoy it now but in the end it is so cut throat and nasty its discusting...I truly believe this shows women at their worst....These pageants use the the "shpeal" that oh...they'll learn poise, and communication, confidence and self-esteem......BS!!!! They can learn all this by parent's teaching their children independence...teachers at school who care...Awana Club, Debate Club, Girl Scouts, Karate, Gymnastics, Music Classes, Swimming, Sports! Little girls don't need to wear fake tans, see a hairdresser, wear fake straight teeth to accomplish any of this....All they need is encouragement, support and the love of God and family.... What happens when our little girls don't grow up to measure 36-24, 36 and stand 5 foot 10 or 11 inches tall...with smooth skin and luxurious hair...Sorry we all know that we come in different shapes and sizes! I certainly have and will continue to buck the system that has a specific idea in mind what beauty is....

Hell no to the glitz ones IMO. If you can teach her that you don't need to be that way to look good, but it's going to be really hard if she starts dolling up that young. There are going to be plenty of opportunities for her to get college scholarships that don't involve her putting on fake tans, bikinis, and make up at TWO. I still will never understand how adults can have their toddler prance around in a bikini for another adult to judge... isn't that borderline pedophilia (judging a toddler on her body)? If it's not, it is still just creepy and wrong. I cringe thinking about some adult judging my daughters (she's 2) body... gross! To me, it's sexual exploitation and I want to puke everytime I see some poor little child being shown half naked to be judge by a ROOM of ADULTS!

I agree with Denise, a scholarship at what cost? If natural ones don't have scholarships then who is funding the glitz ones that basically sexualize toddlers... not very good people I can tell ya that.

Oh geez megandollie, I have seen that show and it makes me want to puke... I can't believe people are that selfish, but apparently there are.

I agree with NY metro mom, I have had relatives actually pester me to have my DD be a model and do those magazine contests, but it sets up bad vibes.

Absolutely NOT! I think the people who put their little children in those things with all the hair, makeup, dresses and glitz are FREAKS who are creating little freaks! I find it deeply disturbing. As she gets a little older, try to find some sports or musical instruments or dance or something that she enjoys and that (if she chooses to really get into it) could also yield a college scholarship someday. Not to mention, if you put the money you would spend on the "glitz" and entry fees into a 529 account starting now, she'll have a nice chunk for college when she's 18.

.

I agree with the others that the pageants are gross/disturbing on too many levels.

I grew up in the Miss America system, participated through college and did well with some scholarships. I was a qualified judge in SC for a few years until I relocated.

You do NOT have to pay to be in the Miss America system other than what YOU choose to purchase for your child to wear, any travel expense, etc.

Many of the pagaents now are simply money makers for the people running the pageant. This sounds much like a "deal" my daughter was offered. She was "spotted" in the mall and asked to come back for an interview. Well, she made it and then they wanted us to pay a $600 fee to come be in their program, fly to CA for a week on our dime. I laughed in their face.

My daughter and I model... run if you are asked to spend money.

Also, it gets very cruel out there with the stage moms, your daughter is not going to win them all and she needs to be strong enough emotionally to handle the rejection.

I think you'd be better off contributing money to a college fund that you know will be around when it comes time for her to use it.

I agree with most everyone else (sorry). I wouldn't do it. The question is - do you want your daughter to be looking for her self-esteem by people liking the way she LOOKS or who she actually IS? Being judged on looks - especially the way they do it in those glitz pageants - just creeps me out. Little girls in make up - ugh. I don't think those pageants make $$ for anyone other than the people who run them.

You said your 2-year old enjoyed it and had fun? She would probably have just as much fun playing with an empty box at this age.

totally creeps me out. I'd rather find some other way to get a scholarship. If there were a way to do it and keep perspective/stay grounded, maybe. But as an outsider, it seems hard to do that when the whole thing is dressing them up like fully grown women.

Maybe looking at different types of scholarships that schools have now - for special things that you'd never consider - would give you ideas as you see her natural talents/gifts develop. Who knows :) Perhaps contact Miss America pagents and see what they have to say. I don't know how reputable the little pagents are, if it's a money generating thing or what.

food for thought: my BIL's children are all college age and all did lots of competitive sports, earning some pretty descent scholarships. However, he confided that what ever money came in for school, he payed double for uniforms, travel, lessons, leagues etc. No doubt pageants will cost you a pretty penny in the end, scholarship or no scholarship. So do it if its something you can really have fun with, but don't think you'll get ahead doing it for scholarships.

I see you've taken quite a beating from the responses so I won't add to that, but, No, I would not want my daughter to be in glam pagents.

I personally would never do it, but whatever floats your boat.
Here's a couple of other things to think about.....
Have you thought about how much money you will have to put into a full glitz pageant? It's not cheap, people invest up to a few grand just to compete.
Will your daughter sit still for everything for full glitz?
Fake eyelashes, spray tans, rolling, curling, teasing of hair and putting in extensions, fake nails, possibly wearing a flipper, etc.
Just a few things to think about.

If you and your family enjoy it, then go for it. But do not use that dream of a scholarship be your motivating factor. As it has already been mentioned the amount of money you will spend on pagents (especially glitz pagents) will cost much more over time than the cost of college.
When my 2 year old was 10 months we did a sunburst pagent. Sunburst pagents are supposed to be all natural so we didn't see the harm. It was about $100 for the entry fee, but there were supposed to be talent scouts, modeling agencys, and scholarship prize money. Well after we signed up we found out all that wasn't until the next round. But we decided to do the pagent anyway. I found a pagent dress at a consignment shop for $21 and it was blue, which is what I wanted for my big blue eyed girl. She looked amazing and had as much fun as a baby can have sitting up on stage, smiling and waving to everyone. Well she won - best eyes, best smile, best personality, most photogenic. (We did not enter her in best attire (consignment shop outfit though pretty we didn't think would win) or best hair because she was bald) So she won all four categories we entered her in, but she got first runner up and did not win her age group. We, like you, got our entry fee paid for for the next part of the contest. States I believe. My husband said NO way. If she didn't win this one, becuase we didn't spend enough how would she win against the other winners, including the girl she already lost to. This girl was from a pagent family. In a 20 minute competition where they were asked to only wear one outfit, she had 3 costume changes. We had to keep waiting for her so that they could do the next part.

I also saw hair pieces in the 2 year old category, and tons of makeup for the 3 and ups. Which was specifically stated was not allowed, but guess who won each category?

That was our expeience, but if you guys enjoyed it it is totally up to you what you want to do! Just be careful and don't expect anyone to be nice to you or your daughter at anytime. Many of these women get so catty about it all, it's insane. And I know I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth closed, so it's better that our baby did her little baby pagent and that was it. We have all her trophies and medals in her room and we were very proud of how adorable she was that day (and still is today) but she doesn't need another pagent to prove it.

Philosophically speaking I"m not sure that I have an opinion, but I would never put fake tanner on a young kid. or heavy makeup. Too many chemicals being absorbed. But that's just me. I'm sorta crunchy like that. If you H. her develop some of her natural talents she might end up getting a scholorship later in life for playing basketball, field hockey, or any number of other things, including academics. This is not your one and only shot at getting a scholorship for her so if you're having doubts you should probably trust your gut.

Funny you should ask. I have a 4yd old and on a whim I entered her in a local pageant back in January. She did not win but she did place (they don't do "runner ups" there are different titles and she actually got next to the highest for her age group). In turn, she had her entry at the state level paid and we have that in May. The only reason this pageant was ok with me is because anyone 12 & under is NO makeup. Everyone is natural (no false lashes or hair unless there is a medical condition to warrant it), real kids in real clothes and focuses on real inner beauty. Kids 6 and under has a interview rather than a "talent" competition. I would not enter the ones like you see on Toddlers and Tiara's. Little girls should look and act like little girls meaning that they should not look like miniature adults, they should not wear skimpy or otherwise "sexy" clothes, or be in bathing suit competitions.

If she enjoyed it and you are wanting to pursue it, I would suggest that you find a Cinderella Pageant in your area.

Please tell me you knew you're playing with fire asking this question ;)

To every responder: to each their own.

I personally would neverrr put my kids through that stuff, BUT my aunt put my cousin in pagents from 6 months to 16 years, and my cousin loved every second of it and reaped a lot of benefits from it. There's two sides to every coin.

Just wanted to remind ladies that even though you don't agree with something, doesn't make it wrong ;)

The Miss America's, Miss USA's and Miss Universe's didn't all just jump into pageants in their 20's. I'm sure many of these women started at early ages also. Who didn't grow up watching these pageants on TV and rooting for the Miss of your particular state? Do what you think is right for you and your daughter.

Pagents are very expensive once you get into them. From what I have seen on Dr. Phil, parents can spend 13K a year participating, easy. The way I see it, if you have money like this to burn on pagents why not just put that money in the bank for her future. You may end up paying 20K just to win 10K.

If she likes it and you do natural I would say go for it. That way you aren't compromising your values and potentially giving your daughter the wrong message about her self. But to be fair, she will probably have a poor body image anyway. Don't we all as women. I mean really. Most of us develop ours between middle school and high school. She might just get it earlier, like at 4.

Have fun. Try not to get sucked into the glitz by the discounted fees. Look for something that matches your values.

My older daughter is always asking me to put her little sister in one of those, and while I don't see noting with the talent part an I see actually very good that kids learn any talent and practice and work hard and take pride on their work, I do wish that some parents would try to convince their little girls that they can do so much more then just shake their little bottoms in extremely small clothes, it actually make uncomfortable to see it sometimes.
Is the whole make up, fake hair, fake teeth, etc that I don't see the point. Kids that age are SUPER cute, I don't see the need of all that.
To me everything has a age, and I love to see all the make up and glitz in Miss Universe.
While I probably wont put my kid on them, I sure enjoy the kids on the show, even with all that fake stuff, is some mothers that sometimes get in my nerves, lol.

I think it depends on the pageant, the parent and the child. I absolutley hate Toddlers & Tiaras simply because the girls are allowed to act like brats and the moms just laugh it off. I think most of the moms I have seen on there are trashier than the pageant. I just don't understand making your toddler do something like this when she clearly does not want to.

However, I also think it could be beneficial for the kids too. If you think this is right for your daughter than go for it. If you have any qualms about it, then listen to your gut.

I have no issue with it as long as there are boundaries and she understands that it is dress up. My only thing is you should make sure she is emotionally ready for this world. High glitz pageants are like ruffles you can't just have one! Plus it is a financial investment. You can go the ebay route and talk to other moms who's older daughters have dresses they no longer fit in to see if you can buy one off them but be ready for it all. I think that if they are handled well by the adults and children they are a good thing. It is kind of like a dance with that bad boy you think is cute ... can you just dance with him and keep yourself or will you get carried away with his bad boy antics? I support you if you are able to keep it in the uplifting spirit.