Toddler Seems So Sad Since His Baby Brother Arrived

Aww hun you are projecting. He is fine. If you keep doing that he is going to start reacting to your perception. Not sure if that makes sense. It is just as kids grow they change, you cannot attribute that to a new sib, it would have happened anyway.

He is just adapting to the world around him but if you start thinking he is sad he *will* start thinking there is something to be sad about. It is a self fulfilling prophecy.

Just to kind of give background both my son's have sisters two years younger than them, both of them were over three before they started talking, neither of them really cared that their sisters came home though when they were around eight they did tell us they were big mistakes, usually after something they treasured was broken by said sister. I have four kids with two year gaps between genders and nine years between sets.

He doesn't know how to voice his feelings, so you need to voice them for him. Mirror what you believe his emotions are. "It's sad sometimes that you're not my only baby any more, isn't it." And things like that.

You know the comparison that people sometimes make about how would you feel if your husband brought home another wife, and then said to you, "Hey honey, look how great this is, I brought another wife home!!" Well, that's how oldest kids feel, when they are suddenly supplanted by a new baby.

You are obviously very sensitive to your little boy's feelings, which is great. Help him express his emotions by voicing them for him and he will feel a lot better. Also, when you do this, it will be good to add, "I know it's hard for you sometimes to not be the only baby any more, so how about if you and mommy have some special time every day, without the baby," And then do that -- call your time with him a name, like "Billy's special time." If he knows there is special time that's just for him it will help a lot.

You know, after a certain amount of time he will not even remember that there was a time without his little brother in his life. Wait till his brother gets big enough too play pretend games with him and run around shooting nerf guns or playing sports or superheros together! My oldest adored his little sister at first. Then after about 6 months he realized she got an awful lot of attention and he complained about it and said he missed the time when he got all our attention. He wished we could go back to the way we were. Then over time I think he grew to accept this is life now and he does not even remember now when he used to be the only child. I think you should focus on the positives with your oldest and remember babyhood is short lived. Before you know it you will have two little boys running around playing together and being buddies.

I never had this happen with any of our kids. Have you had him help you with little things he can do for the baby, like bring you diapers, etc.? Maybe he feels left out in that way. I would just not worry about it and maybe he's just changing. You're spending time with him and doing things with him. I would try including him more and talking about what a great big brother he is, etc. Talk to him like he's part of the daily routine. Ask him how he feels and see if he can let you know even without great speech how he feels. He should adjust soon but we never had that with any of our kids.

When my grandchildren would talk to me about being upset over the arrival of a younger sibling, I would point out to them how happy me and their mommy were that they were older so we would have someone to talk to. I would tell them how tired I get of babies always needing something and how refreshing it was to be with them because they were a "big boy" or "big girl." I just pretty much told them that I prefer older kids but we have to put up with the baby and that soon the baby would not be a baby anymore but would be a great playmate.

They always walked away feeling valued and happy.

Each time we brought a new baby home we made a huge deal about being a big brother or sister. The baby would bring a special surprise the the older kids and whenever anyone would come to the house to see the baby it was the older kids job to show of their new sibling. In the end we made having another baby all about the older kids. My kids have alway been so excited about their babies. They couldn't wait to tell people all about this little wonderful gift to the family. Maybe if you made this baby business more about him and less about the baby.