Toddler/Parent Favortism

My advise is to let her stay home or go with somewhere with just dad. No mom around. When mom is not around she will depend on dad and that will make him feel special. As she grows she will be a daddy's girl. I know from past experience. I have a 19 year old daughter, a 15 year old daughter and a 2 year old. They are all the same. My boys too. They know who they can go to to get what. My little one wants just mom but when I am not around she wants just dad.
I love being my kids mom!!!

My 3 year old started this too. Maybe Daddy could take her out to do fun stuff. You know just daddy girly time.

My daughter is 19months and we have the OPPOSITE problem. She is a daddy's girl and prefers him over me! But, it's because I was afraid early on that we had bonded more than she and my husband had so I set up lots of daddy/daughter time so they could bond and the plan backfired slightly :)! But, I do thing the suggestion to set up some time for them is a good idea. Home Depots Children's workshops are excellent! My husband takes my daughter to the pet store to look at the animals sometimes too and she loves that.

I might also suggest that an outing may be a better way to facilitate bonding. Your daughter probably associates you with the home environment as dad is probably out at work more often than you are and she's probably home with you more right? So, start slow and have him take her somewhere fun and then once she warms up to him after one or a few outings, then you can try the home playdate while you go out for some most likely well deserved alone time!

Also, it is very important to respect your daughter's boundaries to teach her how to have healthy ones when she grows up. When kids say they don't want to show affection and we force them too, then later on when she's a teenager she might be in a similar situation with a boy. There's research on this stuff, I probably sound like a nut but I promise I'm not making it up :). It's important to validate her feelings and if your hubby asks for a hug and she says no, he should tell her that that's okay and when she's ready he'll be there.

My daughter is VERY shy around strangers. She doesn't speak and she puts her head down and is as still as a statue. People try get her to give them five or say hi and tell her to do those things instead of asking. I never force her and people probably think she's being rude. But, I don't really care what they think. I just tell my daughter that she doesn't have to say hi if she doesn't want to, but that it is a polite thing to do.. and then I leave it alone. I also ask others to respect her and tell them that she's shy and would prefer them to respect her personal space. Okay, I've rambled into an issue somewhat off topic so I apologize and wish you luck!

Good luck!

I think that it is a phase most kids go through. My son, who just turned 3, used to tell his dad to go back to work. Ouch! And refuse to say goodnight, give kisses, etc. Part of it, in my opinion, is that my husband opens the door for some of this rejection. For example, he tells our son that's time to say good night, and then my son tells him to leave. I think my husband should just say good night himself and not expect anything in return. Same with hugs and kisses. My husband asks for them, leaving room for my son to say no. I agree with another person that you can't ask a child to show affection/love, but at the same time it's not okay for them to be rude. I'm not sure, however, that leaving your dauther for the day will solve the problem. I know several moms whose children definitely prefer them over daddy and whose children scream when their mothers leave. Mom still leaves but as soon as she gets back, the situation is the same. It sounds like it works for some people but maybe not for others. You can always set up fun activities at home for you husband and daughter to do, and still be in the house yourself.
Does she act like this all of the time or is it more at times when she might be getting tired or hungry? For my son, it is usually at those times of day when he's winding down, or just woke up, or we're getting ready for dinner. If that's the case for you, I'd say just go with it. I know from experience that you can pay for groceries while holding a child, as well as doing tons of other things while holding them!! My dad assures me that all kids are like this to varying degrees and that when they get to be around 5 years old it's all about daddy and mom is pushed to the wayside.

I would highly recommend that you abandon them ;-). Prepare Dad with a typed schedule of the daily routine. Be sure to include any mealtime or nap time rituals or tips for survival. Give him some ideas for fun things to do (looking at the fish, rodents and birds at PetCo is a free, easy field trip with Daddy; a trip to Home Depot to look at tools; or pick up some bedding plants, pots and soil for a little gardening project). Also be sure to encourage him to stay positive and cheery even if she starts out being a grump about it. He'll need a reminder that she won't instantly take well to this idea. And you might give him permission to break some rules -- for the sake of bonding, it's ok if they eat lunch on the living room floor for an indoor picnic, or eat dessert first, make a mess of the house, etc.
Once he's confident about the day, you go shopping, have lunch with girlfriends, catch a movie, scrapbook all day at a friend's house....whatever. Just leave after breakfast and don't come back until after dinner. After breakfast, tell your daughter that you've got some things to do and that this will be a special Daddy & Me day. Maybe talk up some of the things Daddy's like to do. Then peel her arms from around your legs so you can get out the door....
If you can make a weekend of it, even better. Every couple months my kids will get like this and the only solution is for them to re-learn that Mommy isn't the only one who can meet their needs. The only way that can happen is if you are invisible and they MUST turn to daddy for their basic needs. When you return from your mini-sabbatical not only will you have a less clingy child, but you will find a more confident daddy.
Oh, and one tip I learned for when my husband comes home from work: Our daughter would run away from him or get fussy when he tried to hug her when he got home. It really hurt his feelings. So, I decided to experiement and see what would happen if I dropped what I was doing to enthusiastically greet my husband at the door. It only took one time for me to say, "OH! Daddy is home! I want to be the first to hug him!" Next day she was racing me to greet him and he was MUCH happier about coming home.
Good luck!

My 20 mo is like that. She prefers me over daddy. My husband was(is) upset about it too. I've been leaving them at home together a lot on the weekends or when he stays home and works and I do stuff for myself. It goes pretty well until she sees me come home and than she cries until I pick her up. He also gives her a bath but he can't put her to bed otherwise she will cry until I come in there. It will past cause my 2nd daughter was a mommy's girl but now she is totally a daddy's girl.
Good Luck!:)

I have no advice, I just wanted to sympathize with you. My oldest daughter, now 3, does the same thing. She loves her Dad and talks about him all day, and she is great when it is just the two of them. But, 7 out of 10 times, if I am around, she is simply not pleasant to her dad. I have no idea why??? His feelings get hurt everytime and he doesn't really know how to handle it. I have made a point to tell her that she doesn't need to give hugs and kisses if she doesn't want to, but it is NOT ok to be rude and hurt people's feelings. Her "phase" has been going on for a long time, hopefully it will be over soon! Also, she is very independent, and everything needs to be her idea, so sometimes if we aren't trying to make her be loving to Daddy, she does it more willingly, because it was her idea, not ours.

Good luck!! I know what you are going through!! Take care!
S.

My son is almost 2 and he's always been a mama's-boy. I personally think it's mostly due to our personalities being very alike. But, I've also noticed that he gravitates toward the parent who is mostly the caregiver (usually me, but at times my husband becomes more involved). When my husband takes over some of the duties I usually handle (more diaper changes, feeding, bathing, etc...) my son starts to gravitate more toward my husband. Try getting out of the house for a walk around bathtime a few nights so your husband can be forced to some alone time. They'll have fun together for bath-time and gradually, things might begin to turn-around.

Well, goodness, I was going to post some advice, but the other moms have said everything I planned on saying! :) Great advice ladies!!!!!

D., don't stress! My son went through the same thing at the same age. Now my son is 6 and although he still favors me, he does adore his daddy too. The problem I had was that my dh did not want to listen to the whining and screaming so it was difficult to get them to do alone time...ya know? But I would make appointments that I "couldn't miss" like my AVON meetings or teaching scrapbook classes or PTA meetings...whatever I could do that wouldn't be "children friendly" and would tell my husband that he should do something fun with my ds. After a while my ds wanted to go places with daddy! I think alot of it is just letting go a little bit on our side...which is probably just as hard on the mom as it is the little one.

Good luck, and with time it will get better. :)