Baby Won't Go to Daddy When He Comes Home!

COMPLETELY NORMAL and NEEDS to be respected! I know that sounds strange, but not everyone likes someone to come at them expecting or demanding hugs and kisses..even a child with a parent. Your hubby should come home, give you a hug and kiss, in plain view of your little one and walk over to her, say "Hello Sugar Bear!" and ASK her if he can have a hug &/or kiss. If she refuses, let her be. Next time daddy comes home, you get your hugs and kisses, he says, "Hello Sugar Bear!" and walks on about his business. Best thing would be for him to "get interested" in something of hers, say coloring or a toy and let her come to him.
Seriously, this is normal. Her day is reaching another phase and she may not be ready for it and he is interrupting it. He should not, NOR should YOU take it personaly, remove feelings from the picture. In 12 years you'll be PRAYING to the Good Lord that she pushes guys away!! :)

Transitions are hard for kids these age. She may be responding to the confusion of feeling sad or angry that daddy "left" her. I know this is stressful for you & your husband, but I think letting her be is best. Once daddy is settled in at home he could try reading a favorite book or another activity and she may then choose to go to him ("her idea").

Hi A., I work at home too. I do a business at home marketing for a great company and I also help other moms do the same. What do you do?

Don't worry about your daughter. Both of my kids went through that phase too. My first one lasted much longer. It just has to do with the transition ... your sweet baby girl would rather have her daddy home all the time just like she has you! Soon she will be giving him wonderful greetings!

D.

A. - I went through this same thing with all three of my children. I work and we had a nanny. The kids would all go to me or the nanny, but never their dad. It was awful and stressful and I wish I could tell you I found a way for it to change. We had to simply wait for them to outgrow it and keep trying. It hurt my husband terribly when they would refuse to go to him. Now, they are daddy's girls and all my kids always ask where he is if he's not at home. I hope it passes quickly.

We SO went through this with my daughter Lily. I talked with my friends, and just about everyone had been through it, too. It seemed like the best solution across the board was to tell her that Daddy will be home soon and won't it be fun to see him (like you're doing), and then you go ahead and greet your husband, but don't make a big deal of her going to him. Let him say hi from a distance, go change out of work clothes or whatever, and just kind of ease into her world. I think for Lily it marked the end of Mommy/Lily time, but also she likes to be in control of her environment and this was a new thing entering her little world.

After a little while, Daddy would just come in the room and sit down, maybe read something, talk with Lily, and eventually he'd catch her up in a game of "Upside-down baby" or another of their favorites, or lay on the floor so she could come jump on him. Now she's 2.5 and it still is an issue from time to time, but it's generally a lot better. I also have Daddy get Lily up in the morning, because she would tend to fuss if I got her up and then she saw Daddy.

Hope this helps! I think the biggest thing is to let your DH know that it isn't him and a lot of other fantastic Daddies go through it, too. It's really important that he not take it personally and act hurt around your daughter. You'll get through it, and someday that little girl will be running down the walk to see daddy! :)

Best,
K.

She just realized he was gone all day away from her and she is mad at him! I would just welcome him home and let her go to him on her own. She will warm up to it. Other things to try, have him talk to her on the phone during lunch and on his way home to warm her up to him coming in the door. Good luck!

Just relax. She will outgrow this phase. Just ignore that she is doing it and stop pressuring her to greet daddy. Give your husband a hug and a kiss when he walks in the door and don't pressure her to do anything. Pretty soon she will be doing the exact same thing that she sees mommy doing.

I know it is distressing, but I wouldn't worry about it too much - it is probably just a phase. The suggestion of talking to Daddy on the phone during the day is good. Occasionally I take my children to meet Daddy for lunch maybe once a month or whatever works for you. My children love to hide from their dad when they see him in the driveway. They squeal at the idea that he will soon come in and find them. Maybe you and your husband could play a little hide and seek with her when daddy comes home or come up with your own sweet, mischievious game to help her.

I would guess that she is just struggling with the transition. Reassure your husband that this doesn't have anything to do with him or how much his little girl loves him. I think she is just struggling to go from having you all to herself and then to having a different dynamic of having all three of you together. It is really common for some kids to struggle with all transitions, even to activities they really enjoy.

Good Luck

Hi A.
I wouldn't be too worried - this is probably just a phase. My son has gone through this with both of us and he still is going through this (2 yrs old now). Right now, my husband is the go-to person for my son. My husband and I both work FT out of the house and he goes to daycare full time. My husband takes/picks him up from daycare every day and then when I get home my son says "no mommy" and has a fit. I actually have to warm up to him and then he's fine. It really hurts my feelings and then my husband, on the other hand, feels smothered. I try not to let my son see my feelings. I keep telling myself that this is just a phase. I'm starting to see things kind of ease. This has been happening for about a month.
I think if you guys keep doing what you're doing, I'm sure this phase will end. Main thing is to try not to take it personally. I'm sure you're baby loves both of you.

Good luck, P.

You go give him a big hug when he comes in, and don't let her cling to you if she won't greet him. I'm sure it's just a phase, but I'm also sure that it hurts his feelings. Probably the less attention it draws, the quicker it'll stop. Praise and affirm her for desired behavior and ignore the undesirable as much as possible.

Hi A.! Don't worry, this is perfectly normal, especially at this age. My daughter is 2 and she has done this with my husband several times. I think it's because I'm with her all day and he's not, so when he gets home, she has to almost readjust to him being there. It only takes a few minutes and she's fine. I also think it's a little bit being mad that he's gone all day, although she's 2 and can't tell me that. Sometimes it makes daddy sad but he knows why and we don't pressure her when she has one of those moments. As she got older it got a lot better so sit tight! It's worse if he's gone for a longer period of time, like overnight or if he works later than normal. It's just a reaction to the separation anxiety and it will get easier as she gets bigger. No worries, just keep reassuring daddy that she's just reacting to the situation and not to him, and keep getting excited when daddy comes home but don't push her to show affection until she's ready. Good luck!

I completely agree with Debra G. My first thought was that she is not liking the idea of sharing Mommy with Daddy. Plus, I am learning that the relationship you have with your husband is the relationship your child will have with their father. Especially true for SAHMs. If you and hubby are touchy-feely all the time, your child will be the same way. If you and hubby do your own things and are more stand offish', your child will be the same. Children learn by nonverbal communication up until the age of 12-13 years old. They hear your words, but learn by your actions.

I know you want your little girl to go to daddy when he gets home and she will...soon enough. I went through this with both my boys (one is now 3 and the other 19 months). I stay home with them and they just get attached to you. She will grow out of this. Just model it. Whenever my hubby came home I would stop what I was doing and go over to him and give him a big hug and a kiss and start talking to him. After a while my oldest started going over to him and putting his arms up to be picked up by daddy. They go through phases. My youngest now only wants my hubby and not me anymore. I don't worry about it b/c not long before that he only wanted me and not him. My oldest still prefers me (momma's boy) but he will rough house with daddy. Just don't force it...model the behavior you want. She will grow out of this just like any other phase babies pass through.

Hi A.,
I think all little ones go through this to some extent. My son is almost 3 and yesterday, he didn't even acknowledge my husband when he got home. He finally wandered into the kitchen about 20 minutes later and gave him a kiss before walking back off to play with his toys. I wouldn't take it personally, and just go with it. Don't force her to go to him if she doesn't want to. Have dad come and sit down after getting home and relax. When she is ready, she will go to him. We notice that my son goes into "mommy mode" or "daddy mode" for days at a time. He wants daddy to give him a bath and snuggle, and not mommy. The next week it's the opposite. Your daughter's behavior (and all like it), is very normal! Good luck!