Child Seems Mad at Husband

My 3 year old daughter does this & we think it's mostly for attention. My husband owns a construction co., so he's home at odd intervals. No 9-5. When he works alot, she acts like this because he has to work extra hard to get loving attention from her. :) It works out great for her! When he's home alot, it takes awhile, but she turns into a loving daddy's girl. She really does have him wrapped around her finger! We also have 3 older girls & they all went through this. It's just a phase, but it still hurts his feelings.

Woh! I see a pattern here. Seems like they're all 2 and 3 year olds.

My daughter did this when she was 3. She wouldn't let daddy read to her, put her to bed, kiss her booboo, dress her, or anything. I could tell he was crushed. So, I told him to start taking her out on a date. He began by taking her to breakfast, just the two of them, while me and my older daughter did something else. Now they go to the mall, go to lunch and other stuff. We haven't had this problem in quite a long time. Now she's 4.

Maybe he can take her out on "daddy-daughter dates". My father did and I looked forward to it all week long! Perhaps by strengthening their bond she will feel more excitment when he gets home and less resentment for leaving her. (Not saying they don't already have a great bond!)

It is becomming a game to her now: she probably receives some attention from her behavior. Good or bad attention, it is still attention.

So, don't act like it bothers you or your husband. Just do not notice (or mention) her response to him for about a week. Don't discuss her behavior with others while she is around. Pretty soon she will realize that her behavior is not expected nor thought of as special and she will stop.

The moment you return to paying attention to the behavior and making a big deal over it, it will return.

We've dealt with the exact same thing. I don't know why they do it, but for my husband's sake I tried a few things to get around it. First of all, I made it a point to spend some time with the kids about half an hour before he comes home. This might mean that dinner preparation is delayed or interrupted, but it works pretty well, so it was worth it. The other thing that seemed to work, is that when Daddy came in the door, I would drop what I was doing and run to greet him and hug him. Not only did my daughter start to catch on and join in the "see who can hug daddy first" game, but my husband was delighted to come home to all the attention!

My 2 1/2 yr old daughter has done that a few times when my husband comes home, she does not want to give him hugs or say hi to him. I think kids just get used to who they are with all day. Does your husband talk in a loud voice?, do you fight? Your daughter may feel some tention between the two of you, or she could feel your husbands stress from work. Have him come in and go straight to the floor and really act goofy and want to play. See if that helps her to feel more relaxed around him. She could also feel that he does not want to play with her if he is real busy when he gets home. My husband has come in some days and gone straight to his computer to look at mail and do bills. Make more special times in the evenings for them to play. I've been waiting to go grocery shopping until after dinner so they can play without me. She enjoys her daddy alot more and now she wants him to put her to bed or at least read her a book.

Wow, Im so glad you asked this question. My 2 1/2 yo son does this too. He will ask when Daddys coming home and keep looking out the window. Then when Daddy pulls up he gets all excited. But as soon as Daddy opens the door to come in he turns off and starts acting aloof. As if he doesn't want anything to do with him. My DH has to be the one to make extra effort for hugs and kisses. Then my son will kind of want to play but he wants my DH to be the one to make the effort of coming to him. Sometimes he we get extra clingy to me. My son will also act up at dinner and trash his toys at this point. I tell my DH that hes been good all day and that he is just doing that for attn. DH is a little "NO" happy so I think my son gets mad and just does things to get a rise out of Daddy. Ive been trying to change things from "NO" to "lets do it this way instead"

I will show this to DH when he gets home so we can get some ideas on how to change this. Because this does end up rubbing off on me and I end up in a bad/snappy mood all of a sudden too. It might be what another mom said, that if Dad is all tense and still in work mode, then we feel that and we instantly go from smiles to frowns. Hmmm, interesting.

Sorry I didn't have any advice, but you are not alone.

Thanks again,

T. Lee