Toddler Constipation with Potty Training

My son had the same problem eventually he will go in the potty but this is his last thing he can hold onto of himself...it's a kid thing. We didn't put a diaper on him until night and then let him go. It wasn't fun but it was better than fighting. The doctor said he will live through it and I guess he is right he is 20 now and goes on his own.

Hi, have this same issue but my son is 4. He won't sit on the potty at all. I have him in a Pull-up and he goes #1 on the potty. I remind him all the time to go poop on the potty but he never does.We have tried putting him in underwear and he has no problem pooping in them. We have tried everything and I have just realized that he will do it when he is ready. Lets hope that is soon. I have a 7 and 8 year old that were the easiest potty trainers and I thought I had it down and now my third child has made me realize I was wrong. He is very independent and wants to do everything on his own so I am thinking that he wants to do this on his own too. Good luck to you. If you get any good advice let me know.

A child will go poop when they are ready. It's the age and stage and emotions that go along with potty training. Just don't force the issue or make him feel weird about it. It is not only your son... MANY children do this as well. It is common. Potty training takes time. It's not a slam dunk and it doesn't happen overnight, and many times they will back slide too. They just need gentle encouragement and love. It's a big transition for them, growing up. For my daughter, nothing worked not even sticker boards or incentive charts or treats or videos. In the end, she went when "she" was ready.

Just watch the constipation though... many toddlers get constipation per potty training... and if he continues to "with-hold" going #2, it will cause pain, thus they will hold it in more, and this will cause pain, and thus they will not want to poop, and internally this will cause the poop to become impacted and harder and harder to expel. It's a vicious cycle. I know because I went through this with my daughter... and we were referred to a Pediatric Gastroenterologist. The Doc said this is very common.

Good luck, each child is different. I'm finding out that too with mine. LOL.
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

My 2 year old is currently potty trained and he did the same thing.....I majored in child development and learned that children that are in the potty training stage feel that when they go #2 that part of their body is going away for good. They don't see it as human waste they just see it as part of their body. We were taught to sit the child down and don't let them get up until they have in fact gone #2 and make sure to tell the "potty" bye bye. My little boy was constipated at first and I gave him some pedialax (glycerine supposetory) as soon as I gave it to him we were running to the toilet. He sat down...went...and said "bye bye potty". He's been doing great ever since. Good luck.

This really is a common problem. My daughter did the same thing. As a former preschool teacher, I saw many children that were not "bowel trained" until they were 3 1/2 to 4 yrs. old (especially BOYS). Back off a bit & just make sure he is eating plenty of fresh fruits, vegetables & whole grains every day. You can also make him a fruit smoothie & add some flaxseed to it. They are a delicious & nutritious treat & the extra fiber will make it harder for him to "hold in". Also make sure he is drinking enough water every day (nutritionists say that 1/2 your body weight in ounces is the proper amount). So, if he weighs 30 lbs. he should be drinking 15 oz. of water. My family & I also take a "whole food" nutritional product called Juice Plus+. It is 17 vine-ripened fruits, veggies & whole grains put into a gummy, chewable or capsule & has been published in 12 prestigious medical journals. You can check the product, research & doctors recommending it out at: www.juiceplus.com/+sc57599. Let me know if you do & if you have any questions afterwards! Good luck!

S.

Hi S.,

Oh, this is soooooooo common! Constipation can be a slippery slope with toddlers. My son has had major issues with it since he was young. He too would hold it because he was afraid of pooping on the toilet - he still does, but not because he's afraid, it's just a habit. He is on Miralax to help him go everyday. All I can say, based on my experience, is just lay off. Don't make a big deal out of it - especially if he just started peeing in the toilet. I started to pressure him a little bit, and it backfired. My sister-in-law really pushed her son and it backfired miserably - it was bad. I know that it is frustrating, and who wants to keep changing poopy diapers? But, just give him some time, especially if he is stubborn. Hope this helps - good luck!

I've had this issue twice. I would not push the issue. I would wait. My son (now 8) sounds like yours. It was closer to 4 that he FINALLY sat on the potty for a BM. And that was because we were out at a store and I did not have a diaper on me (on purpose, because I knew after 3.5 he could handle it) and he had to go. So I said, "look, here is a toilet, it's private and I'll be with you. You are safe." In desperation, he went. A trick I used that worked wonders was taking a picture of the poopie (I always carry my digital camera with me, now phones take pictures) to show Daddy. He loved that idea. I still have a digital photo selection of a few of those poopies.

My daughter is 3 yrs, 9 months and she JUST started using the potty to have bowel movements! Same issue... fear. For months, she would ask for a diaper and then run and hide (for privacy, she didn't want anyone looking at her) behind the couch to poop. I never pushed the issue, knowing things WOULD change one day. Two weeks ago, I ran out of diapers (at home) and I told her if she did it in the potty, I could take a picture of it and show her Daddy. So she said, "OK, I'll sit on the big toilet." It worked! She has been going on the toilet ever since and if she asks for a picture, I'll take it, no arguments. She doesn't ask much. But both were very proud of their poopie photo and wanted to show it to their father.

I really wouldn't push it right now. Just give it time. I'd be stubborn too if I thought I would fall in, since I was so little and that toilet is so big, ya know?

Hi! I have worked in GI nursing for 22 years. COnstipation is a big problem. First, he needs to have success with it not hurting. I love a product called Miralax, which is over the counter. It is a powder that can be put in anything. Call me for details.
I also love a natural product in gummie form called Juice Plus. It is fruits and veggies in gummie form.
I'd love to talk to you about both of these options.
K. ###-###-####

Wait and try different things for a few months, and if that doesn't work, here's what I did. My daughter who is a teenager now, she was potty trained for #1 just after age 2. She occasionally went #2 on the toilet, then started only wanting a diaper for #2. So we knew she could go on the toilet, she just didn't want to. Then a couple of months before she turned 3, we said at age 3 no more diapers for #2 because we know you can go on the toilet. We kept reminding her. (The doctor also recommended this, and books did too.) When her third birthday came and went, no more diapers. She kept holding in her poop. On the third day of holding it, the doctor said give her an anal suppository (over the counter), that will soften it, and she will have go go #2 within minutes. Some kids may not let you put something there, but our daughter let us. After 5 minutes, she sat on the toilet and went poop, and starting doing so ever since. Some people may think this is cruel, but we had to give her a limit of when we were going to stop doing diapers, especially since we knew she could go on the toilet. It worked for us. Who knows how long it would have gone if we kept letting her have diapers for her #2.

Hi S.
I had the same exact problem with my son. He is now almost 13 but I went through this too. He was #1 potty trained at 23 months, but would not go #2 on the potty. He would finally ask for a diaper and once I put it on him he would go. This only last about 6 months. I think maybe he had to get use to one thing at a time. Not sure. The problem I had after that was then he would only go #2 on Wednesday. Weird I know. No clue why only that day. But come Tuesday he was in pain and wouldn't even go in a diaper. The doctor had me add a lot of fibers to his diet and he began to be regular. I think if you just give him a little time, he will start to go in the potty. Have you tried offering candy or a treat if he goes? Thats what worked for my daughter.
Not sure if I helped, other than letting you know its not odd, but good luck and take care.
E.

I bought "Once upon a Potty" for both my daughter and son. They have different books for boys and girls. It really helped them to understand and accept the process. There are also a lot of other books that feature familiar characters like Elmo, whicy your son may relate to.

If he gets too backed up, you can add a tablespoon of mineral oil to one of his drinks every day until he can go again. It will keep things from getting stuck.

we had a really hard time potty training our 2nd child. he didn't want to go NEAR the toilet. A friend of mine told me this "trick":
we went out and had him pick out a few toys and when he went #2 he got to pick out one of the toys. we ended up buying maybe 10 toys and after that, he just went by himself.
Good luck!

I find that getting a potty seat to put on the big potty is helpful then there is no getting up and down. I use to sit my son on it and we watch movies on my lap or i would sit with him on a stool in the bathroom and read books together. Also, i would offer rewards stamps, stickers, even a cookie (this is huge for my kids because i don't give them sweets) I hope this helps

K.

I'm in exactly the same boat. My son is 2 1/2 though, and because he became so fearful of the potty, we knew he just had to go so went back to diapers just so he'd be comfortable. We'll be working on it again in a couple of months, and I know you can't do this for your son because he's 1/2 way there already, but 1 thing that seemed to help a little was to explain that the poo-poo WANTS to come out and go into the potty. For my son, it seemed that he was scared because he knew something was coming out and he didn't think it should. He seems more comfortable going (though in his diaper, but at that time he didn't even want to do that) now, but another part of the issus is that they hold it because they're constipated, and in turn that makes it harder to go, so it's really a cycle. His doctor told me that he WILL go when he absolutely has to, so not to worry about it too much, but I've also snuck in some flaxseed meal into our food (good for everyone and I buy mine at Trader Joe's) and his ketchup (since he LOVES it) and that seems to help as well.

Good luck and hope this helps some.
M.

My daughter struggled with pooping in the potty for a solid year. No kidding. She had some mental issue with it. She was prone to constipation as an infant, so I did not force the issue, and she would ask for a diaper when she needed to poop, so it was not a huge problem. We talked about it, and she would have different ideas, like "cut a hole in the pull up and I'll try going in the potty (unsuccessful) but she really did have some sort of fear. One day, she just did it, just like that. He knows what to do, but his health may be affected if you force it. just be supportive, and work out a system so he does not poop in his pants every day.

Do like everyone else says and put a diaper back on him. I am writing because believe it or not, you are lucky your child will still go in a diaper. When I started potty training my daughter she too wouldn't go #2 on the potty. So I offered her a diaper, but she had just learned that you should use the potty and not a diaper, so she wouldn't go in a diaper, either. And my girl would go #2 2-3 times a day! She was so backed up, she made herself sick! When she felt like #2 was coming, she would kind of squeeze it back in. She knew that wearing a diaper at night was ok, so she would wait until then and even then she wouldn't go every day. We tried begging, bribing, anything we could, and finally we just gave up and stopped talking about it. Then finally she started going #2 on the potty. I say this laughingly, but just be happy your child will go somewhere! :)

Just wait, it will happen. I would back off for a while, and never try to force him to go. Every child is different when it comes to potty training, as I learned with our second child. He'll do it when he's ready, and he won't go to college in diapers! :)

S.,
I have seven kids and trust me I have seen this before. My Pediatrician (who is the head of Sharp pediatrics)taught me very early on, with my first child about the constipation thing. MY daughter had pretty much potty trained herself. She was great about it even stayed dry through the night, however she did not want to go #2 on the potty. She held it and held it and then after feeling so tense about her not going I put a diaper on her and she went.
My Doctor told me that I had to trust her on this, but she said that I had to simply tell my daughter that to get to wear the panties that she had to go #1 and #2 in the potty and that if she was not ready to go #2 that was ok. If she was not ready to be such a big girl yet that it was ok to go back into diapers until she was ready and comfortable, but that she could not get to wear the panties until she could do both in the potty. It was very hard thinking that I had to go backwards and put her in diapers again. This was where the doctor said I had to trust her but if I did I would find that in about 1 week she would go #2 in the potty and do you know that is exactly what she did. She was ready. and she was all done with diapers and did beautifully in her pretty new panties!!!
If you let your son get the reward of underwear without earning it all the way you might set yourself up for him wearing the underwear fine for #1 and wanting the diaper to go #2. This scenario may just work or it might be that he is not all the way ready. Rest assured if he is three, he is just about there and it won't be long. You'll see sometimes it is a control thing and they can control this part of their lives. We can not make them go #2 and they have found something to control. You might find that as you let him be free to be in charge, such that you say,,,,,ok it's fine if you are not ready, but when you are ready to go #1 and #2 in the potty you get to wear these really cool big boy underpants. When it becomes then his idea he may just be ready all of the sudden one day maybe even as fast as a week!!!
Good Luck you are almost there!!!!! I hope whatever you decide that it works and I hope that maybe some of this helps you!!!

Hi S.,
It's been my experience that boys are just harder when it comes to #2. Have you tried making it a game? "say bye-bye to your ____" whatever you call it at your house :)

Also, for constipation, an all natural remedy I would recommend is a fruit juice called Monavie. It is loaded with 19 different fruits from all over the world. Not only would it help with constipation, but it would also give him all he needs in the way of fruit requirements each day. Best of luck to you!
S.

Patience and love is your answer. He will eventually go on the potty but seems he is feeling pressure....which affects self esteem. He's still a baby so enjoy him. I learned this from being a mom and now seeing my grand-daughter potty trained - she is 2 1/4 qane not readfy completely so she is still in diapers but tells her mommy when she goes so she can be changed. Communication is good too. Each child is different. All the best.

T. Rainey
Wellness Coach & Self Esteem Trainer