Won't Poo in Toilet

Have you tried this: letting him know that 'this is how grownups do their poo,' then keep toileting low key/no mention and see if he chooses to do it the grownup way?

I went through exactly the same thing with my son- I mean all the same! It is very frustrating i know! I won't bore you with the same details but tell you our 'breakthrough". My ped told me some parents had resorted to cutting a hole in the diaper- wow that sounded so dumb- so I kept dismissing the idea. My son would tell me he couldn't do it in the potty- that it hurt etc... I will say he had a way of crouching in the diaper that was hard to do on a toilet, so you might star with a floor potty. One day he was begging for a diaper because he really had to go- I had bargained him into using the little potty with a diaper on. So I would make him sit on the little potty even though he had his diaper on. I had cut the hole already, so as he was begging for the diaper I put on the one with the hole and 1,2,3 he pooped and it fell into the potty. I went nuts cheering and carrying on- you should have seen the look on his face- he kept looking at me then at the poop in the potty- he could not believe it. We did this a few more times until he had the confidence to do it without the diaper at all. We made a very big deal about it every time. About a week later the kid pooped in the toilet a New Seasons- no sweat. I wish you the same kind of breakthrough- it will happen- you must believe!

I worked as a preschool teacher for a while and we experienced children such as your son quite often. Most of the time, they are afraid to go on the toilet for one reason or another. The hardest part is finding out why or a way to get around it. He may be scared of it splashing into the potty or that it will hurt. The only way we found to help was to just give it time, but it seems you have given it plenty of time. I'm sure you have tried this, but if not, find some child-friendly potty training books and read those. Another idea if you haven't tried it is putting him on the potty when you know it is his usual time that he goes and just wait. Even though it can be really hard, try not to let him see your frustration. That will make it worse for him. I know after living through it for all that time that it can be hard not to get frustrated. Good luck and if I remember anything else I will let you know!

I was right there with you. My son was alomst 2.5, and pee potty trained. He would do the same thing, ask for a diaper, go into the bathroom, close the door and then come out and ask for a change. I read all the books which say just give them the diaper, they will grow out of it. I did this for about 4-5 months. I knew it was time for a new strategy when he was at the park, got a pull up out, I put it on and he went running across the park in a pull up and shoes to the bathroom for privacy. I read on the internet to cut a hole in the diaper and not tell them. I did this out of his sight so he wouldn't know. I put it on him, had him sit on the potty and I closed the door to the bathroom and stood outside. It was a little bit of a struggle to get him to stay sitting, but I would just say you have to sit on the potty with the diaper. He did his business and it fell right through the hole in the diaper and into the toilet. That is all it took! The next day he started going on the potty without a diaper and it has been 3.5 months and not one accident. Try it, it works!

he is just probably afraid of the toilet. You said that he was a ble to with the potty chair. You should go to Babies r us and buy a portable top for the toilet its call a BabyBjorn Toilet Trainer it cost $29.99 and always keep it in the toilet for he could go. Also dont forget the step stool. I used them for my older son hes 3.4 years old and me and my hubby started training his at 2 years old when i was expetting my 2nd baby. Also him him regard At BRUS they have a chard and you stick stickers an that works as a rewards for the children. Goodluck! keep me posted.

My daughter was the same way. We tried everything, including refusing to give her a diaper so she had to either go in her pants or use the toilet. NONE of it worked! Now, why would I tell you such a discouraging thing? Because I finally realized that with her (not all kids of course) it was AAAALLLL about control! She didn't get to control much in her life, and certainly not things that made Mommy and Daddy so emotional. We had to literally force ourselves to stop reacting. We got a routine for dealing with it, and treated it like an everyday thing and started ignoring her completely when she was using the potty. Two days before starting her preschool (which she had to be potty trained for) she just decided it wasn't interesting anymore, and started using the toilet. She had a few accidents, like all kids, but for the most part it was instantaneous.

Good luck!
K.

Maybe let him pick out an inexpensive potty chair and see if that helps. Sometimes they need something of their "own" to make it happen. Good luck!

My niece was this way for close to a year. She knew she had to go, but for whatever reason was scared to go on the toilet. She asked for the diaper, and her parents always put her on the toilet then for just a few minutes to encourage her, and when she wouldn't go, they would put the diaper on her. It will just take time, and there really isn't much you can do about it. Just keep encouraging him, and in time he will do it. When i get frustrated at my daughter, who is a thumb sucker, i just remember that she won't go into kindergarten sucking it, so i just let it go.

You can try putting him on the toilet and walk away from the bathroom for a few minutes see if that helps him at all. my daughter can take several minuts in the bathroom, so i walk out and do something else right there, so when she is done i am available to help her out, but she has some privacy as well.

That's usually how potty training goes. With my son, I bought the $4 Ikea potty chair (super easy to clean and sanitize with no little crevises for germ to hide) and let him pick out the color. We gave him candy for going poo in the potty, and I often just sat him on it when I knew he had to go and refused to give him a diaper. You can't do this if your son is able to hold it in for days on end though. My son wouldn't be able to hold it that long. We made sure to give plenty of fruit juice and I added corn syrup to drinks to get things moving through him quicker. It only took a week of this and he realized it wasn't a big deal.

My daughter was the same way , but she was potty trained for almost a year and would still ask for a diaper when she had to poo. I took her in for her yearly appointment at the doctor and her doctor looked her straight in the eye and told her when she turned 4, there were no more diapers. So we kept reminding her about this as we approached her birthday and on that day we got rid of the diapers. We also told her that when she went poop in the toilet we would take her to Toys R Us and she could get anything she wanted within reason (basically anything under $50). She held her poop in for 5 days and then just couldn't hold it anymore and went and sat on the potty and went. We made a big deal about how proud we were and what a big girl she was. They next day we went to the toy store and she pooped in the toilet from then on. I think having someone else with authority (her doctor) besides her parents tell her it was time, really helped, the bribe was useful too.

It is normal.
He is fine.
Pottying.. is in stages.
Not all at once.
It is a learning curve and about acquisition of biological and emotional maturity.
He will get it... just not on a parental time-line.
Pooping, in a toilet is often the last stage of mastery.
Well, actually night-time dryness is a WHOLE OTHER thing, unrelated to daytime pottying.

My son, is 3 years old... actually 3.5, and he still will not poop in a toilet.
AND IT IS A FICKLE thing. As the child begins to attain some semblance of comfort with it.

For me, I do not push the pottying thing nor poop.
When my eldest child was potty learning... she became constipated. So much so and so badly... that we had to take her to a Pediatric Gastroenterologist... who, says the majority of his patients are Toddlers who are potty training. The constipation... occurs when the child is not ready to poop on a potty, but is pushed to do so. As a result, the child "withholds" their poop, on purpose... meaning, they do NOT poop.... either in a toilet nor in a diaper. NOTHING. This then causes a medical problem and actual pain, from the constipation...and as the BM gets harder within the body... it then becomes nearly impossible for the child to poop, without having great pain. The problem, then becomes an "emotional" problem. Or, the child can develop bulging bowels... or Encopresis.
For my daughter, even though we did not force pottying... the idea of pooping on a toilet or on a potty simply gave her a lot of anxiety and stress. So then she stopped pooping. Per the Doctor, we had to give her prescriptions... and it took about THREE months... for the constipation, to normalize and for her to gain normalcy in pooping, in a diaper.

So, this can become a 'battle' or a 2 pronged medical problem (biological & emotional based). And once it becomes an impacted constipated poop problem... it is hard to correct and undo the bodily pain they have when constipated.... because by then, they have an actual "fear" to poop.

Per the Doc... he said, don't battle it. Don't force it. It will occur naturally, when the child is ready.

Kids.. have imaginations and 'logic' that is not like adults. For us, we may be fed-up... but it does not help the child.

He will get it. Just not yet. Kids DO get "scared" of pooping.
My son as I said... will not poop in a toilet yet. Even though he did it before about 2 times.
No biggie.
After what my daughter went through, just to poop... I am not going to push my son about it.

all the best,
Susan

Some children are fearful of the toilet. try the potty chair for awhile, then transition to the toilet.

I just asked this question the other day about my daughter. The responses on here have been great. My daughter is the same as your son. She just turned 3 and will go pee, but not poo on the potty. My 3 year old son is still working on both.

I talked to my pediatrician about this the other day and she said a lot of what others have said - just don't push it. They will learn on their own time. Just keep encouraging them. She said that they become worried when they are not pee trained by 4 and when they are not poo trained by 5 (which really surprised me).

I do like the hole in the diaper idea though - I might try that and see if that works or discourages her even more.