Toddler Affection

Updated on October 11, 2011
L.A. asks from Springfield, MO
12 answers

My son is 22 months old and has always been a super affectionate little guy!! I, of course, relished that. In the past couple week or so he has not wanted to give hugs and kisses to my husband and myself. Is this a normal thing for this age? Do toddlers or boys stop giving affection at this age? What should I do? Should I try to encourage him to show affection like he did before? I understand that it is not his job to meet my needs, I just didnt know if this is normal. Thanks.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Redding on

It's normal.
He'll come back around to affection and then change again when he's a certain age in school.
Then he'll go back again.
My son is 16 and he still loves snuggling and hugs me in the morning before school. He's taller than me now so he finds it funny to make me stretch to reach his cheek for a kiss, but at night....guess who wants his back rubbed and scratched before he goes to bed.
My son is all boy/young man, and he is on the road to a career in law enforcement, but he still loves his cuddles.
He'll be a very affectionate husband and father.

Don't worry about the phases.

They will come and go.

Best wishes.

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

It'll come and go. It's pretty typical. My son is very attached to me (17 months) and is so happy if I go anywhere and then come home. He'll run to me and sniggle. Today when I got home, he ran straight towards me and then past me. I was kneeling and holding my arms out only to have him run right past me. I said "Come give me a hug" and held my arms out again only to have him run past me again...LOL LIttle stinker!!

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

He is so young.
Kids are fickle.
So many age stages.
He sounds normal.
They don't even have... fully developed "emotions" yet or social skills.
So if you remember that, then don't feel worried.
And, they don't even have, fully developed communication yet either. Nor even know the accurate 'names' for their feelings. Kids this age, don't even "know" how they feel. It is still abstract for them.
They are, developing. A rock collecting moss.
Its okay.

Nothing, is the same everyday, with a child and young child. Even Teens and Preteens go through that.

Let him... KNOW himself.
Don't force affection.
It is age stages.
A child, has to learn their OWN cues too.
Which is good. It helps them, become, themselves. And to trust their own instincts.
Just love him.
Don't expect, or make him, do affection if he is not wanting too.
Nor to others.
Its an age stage.

3 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Yeah, kids go through stages of independence. Mine did that for a few months then got cuddly again. Every child goes through it a bit differently, and at varying ages.

3 moms found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

You have nothing to stress about. My little guy is 2.5, he started getting the same way around 2. I believe it's when he started to "feel" his independence, lol. I've noticed the past couple of weeks that he's wanting to hug and kiss more ; ) Just continue to reach out to your son for hugs and kisses, and take his cue as to if he's receptive or not.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.T.

answers from Chicago on

Oh don't worry..my son would never kiss me before.. I used to worry a lot. thinking he even doesn't know how to kiss... this is when he was 2 and half.. hugs.. also forget it.. but now when he is three and half.. he knows how to kiss.. he kisses me and my husband.. and he gives hugs freely.. so all kids are different.. and they have phases in life..
he is fine..

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

My DD will run hot and cold and for a while there utterly refused to give hugs and kisses at bedtime. It was partially she was wanting some control, I think and partially that she didn't want to go to bed. Sneak in the hugs and kisses when you can (maybe focus on first thing in the AM or last thing at night when he's sleepy). DD has come around. If anyone forgets kisses and hugs at night, she goes and finds them. Even her college-aged brother home for just a day or two from school. It's very sweet.

2 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

I think that it is just a way of him showing his independence. There are so few things that a 22 month old can control, but this is one of them. They really like to be able to control whether or not they give kisses or hugs It is a phase and will pass, especially if you don't make a big deal about it.

2 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Kansas City on

eh its a roller-coaster ride... try to enjoy every minute even if it means giving him his space now and again.. he will come back to you... keep lovin' on him! He might not admit it but he loves it when you hold him tight and smooches the daylight out of him.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.L.

answers from Boston on

It really depends on the child -- my oldest son has always been a very affectionate cuddly guy, and even now at 10, he's still willing to hug me and hold my hand in front of his friends (I don't expect that to last much longer though).

My youngest (33 months) is also very affectionate and snuggly and always has been, though sometimes if I ask him for a hug, he'll refuse because he wants to do it on his own terms, when he wants to, not when I want to.

I do wonder if the fact that I have nursed all my children to about age 3 years has added to their snuggliness.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.G.

answers from Champaign on

It is definitely his way of establishing his independence. It can also be that he's simply too busy. I know sometimes when our boys get really in to play they just cannot be bothered. Sometimes when my husband or I get home from work our 2 1/2 year old will run over, give a big hug and run right back to whatever toy he was playing with :-) So cute!

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

My 3yr old (who's a big snuggler) fell off the cuddling at that age. He was way too busy getting into other stuff to stop and cuddle with me!

He's come back to it, though. They'll go through phases. Nothing to worry about.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions