Toddler - McMinnville,OR

You may be lucky to have a perfectly sweet child... but... most people say that if they don't hit the terrible 2's, then the 3's can be just as challenging. At some point, they learn the word "no" and think they can do more than their little bodies can do- which is super frustrating. Learning how to express that frustration seems to be the biggest culprit in the tantrums.
But, it is so fun to watch them learn and grow... it's a fun time!

Three is certainly more challenging than two. But, just realize you are simply both facing new challenges and figure out how to deal with them and you can ride it out a lot smoother. They are dealing with their emotions, control issues, the "I can do it" stage and so much more. Find ways to stimulate, challenge and encourage your child as they are driven to do things on their own anyway, they will enjoy being encouraged rather than being told no all the time.

Three is a wonderful age Mom. I teach young children and never have believed in the old adage of "terrible twos." You will find your child to start getting curious about things around her and become a little more independent as she gets closer to 4. SHe will ask lots of questions and will start to engage a little more with others her age when playing. Be sure you are answering her questions as best and you can in simple understandable words when she asks why, don't just cut her off and tell her you don't know. Continue to read a lot to her and sing children songs with her, start introducing her to nursery rhymes if you haven't already and tradtional childhood stories. It is a good time to start teaching her color words and shapes too and how to count to ten. You can do this with simple games and books. WHen you and your husband do things around the house encourage her to help as best as she can. Ask her to help you make her bed, show her how to put her clothes in the hamper and encourage her to put her toys and belongings away where they belong, you can often make a game of picking up toys. Do this by saying, lets have a contest, do you think you or I can pick up your blocks the fastest ? Give her a broom when you are sweeping or vacuuming to help or a duster or dust cloth to help when you are cleaning. When you are cooking invite her to help. SHe can tear up lettuce for the salad help mix things with a big spoon etc. Young children at 3 can also put help set the table by putting out napkins and silverware or even plates if you are brave Mom. Children at this age love to be involved and included with what parents are doing at home, it starts teaching them responsibility and also builds confidence. Another suggestion, be sure you are explaining things around the house and telling the words of common household objects you are using throught the day and things you see outdoors and in public too. This helps build her vocabulary. In the car ask her how many "red" or "round" things she can find on the way to the store etc. Encourge her also to "use your words" often, especially if she gets upset or frustrated about things rather than to hit or get mean or angry, it helps her express herself. Mom, encourage playdates too with others her age to help build her social skills too. Threes are still quite friendly and loving too and so curious about the world. You are in for an awesome year. Have fun and happy b-day to her.

We've found 3 much more challenging than 2, our son was still really easy and agreeable at 2, and not so much at 3. He's still great, but it's more work. He doesn't just do whatever we want anymore.

I'd say expect her to want to make her own decisions, and this is actually great. It's time to let her make enough that she feels she can make good ones, or discovers minor inconveniences when she makes poor ones. You have to have your limits, and she has to understand what those are. The three things you cannot make a child do are eat, sleep, and use the toilet. She will understand that this is in her arena of complete control. So expect to work with her on deciding how and when to do these things, and have your limits be reasonable but not autocratic and arbitrary. Prepare to have a lot of patience, and nurturing, they can really push buttons at this age and it's important to remember that you are helping them process emotions and grow into competant kids.

Best wishes!

With my daughter 3 was worse than 2. She got much more sassy and defiant at 3. She is always testing me as well. It could be she was trying to assert her independence or some tricks she picked up at preschool. All I know is this past year has been much more trying that the one prior. Just hang in there and stand your ground!

I called it the "terrific trying/doing three" ... I found if I put a POSTIVE spin on the horrible "names" everyone gives the ages it reminds me that I am here to guide and raise my child instead of blaming the age she is in for behavior.

With that we are working on how to properly express oneself when mad, frustrated and upset... tantrums, yelling and hitting are not ok... instead use one's words nicely to express how you feel. We also say if you do not feel like talking but are mad/frustrated it is ok to go sit in ones room for awhile to calm down.

Our daughter is starting to see that the world does not center around her (mentally they start to develop the realization of a bigger world), and it is tough for a child to switch their minds from me to others so we talk about that when the occasion calls for it.

Your child will want to do more for herself, as long as it is safe let her or some how invole her if possible. This helps in learning and it does cut down on tantrums because they will know you let them help/do things but when you say no that there is a reason (it also helps to tell the reason, you do not need to tell them the reason all the time but it helps them understand why they can not do something).

Being consistent in whatever you do (punishment, eating, everything) it will help a lot because any kid is comforted by a schedule and consistency (obviously as long as it is not hurtful or puts them in harms way).

Congrats! Happy birthday to her. With our lil guy we found that we just needed to stay ahead of the game. If we backed down at all and got comfortable on rules or structure that was his chance to try to invoke his independence. Every child IS different but yes. 3 was harder. He was MORE verbal, MORE mobile, MORE everything!

Good luck and have FUN!!
We do 4 next month-

For me, 3 was worse than 2 with #1 and we are soon to find out with #2 who is almost 3. My 9 year old was a terrible 3!! She has always been strong-willed though and the "I do it myself" phase was made much worse by that. 4 is a magical # and she "magically" got better after that. My biggest problem at that age with #1 was being consistent! Make sure that your punishments are consistent and you should be fine. :)

Each age is difficult for different reasons. The "twos" are when children begin to exercise their own will. The test bounaries and realize that you can't "make" them do most things. Twos are when you have to show them who's boss.
Threes are a time of intense learning. You can almost see the wheels turning in their head. The repeat every word you say at the most inappropriate times. They are constantly asking why, and need everything explained. They also are discouraged easily when things don't work the way they think they should. Because they are so busy learning so many things, they often have no patience and little self control left. Be consistent with sleep, always keep snacks in your purse, and be consistent and firm with discipline and you will be fine.