To Stay at Home or to Cont Working (P/t)

I recently became a sahm. There are pros and cons. The pros are more time for family and getting things done around the house. The cons for me are that I've gained weight and sometimes feel unappreciated. Being a sahm is WORK without monetary pay regardless of what dad's think. My hubby works two jobs and I think he thinks I sit around watching t.v all day. He doesn't notice the clean house and doesn't see what goes on with the child and I. Sometimes I will work all day cleaning the house only to have him destroy it in minutes and he constantly reminds me of how hard he works and how tired he is. There are days I wish I had a job to go to so I could escape and have some ME time. But in the end it is the child that is going to benefit from this.

The grass is also greener on the other side. Staying at home is great. Though some day I wish I could get out to a part time job. There are a few questions I would ask yourself. How is your social, family life? If you were at home would you be able to talk to an adult at all. Some days I only talk to my kids. What time does your husband come home from work? If the house was clean and dinner was done because you were at home would it be easier for you to spend time together once he got home? Is he going to works 24/7 and you wouldn't see him at all? Could you take the kids and go and have lunch? If you don't like it can you go back? Right it down pro and cons, and see what comes out. We are very traditional dad works, mom stays home, dad does the yard, mom cooks, somedays please just let me go to work!!! Others I'd rather go to the park.

If you have a choice, I would always recommend going home with your children. There are so many things you can do at home to bless your family. You could do special things for your husband. You could bless other families in need by preparing meals for them or visiting them. You will have more time with your children to teach and train them. To me, all of this far outweighs working away from home. I can't imagine giving up these things for anything!

This is such a hard choice! And a personal one--you will get several different answers today, and only you will know what is right for you. I can say that in the 6 years since first becoming a mom, I have been happiest when I work part time. It gives me a good balance. I used to teach so I love kids anyway, and I loved being home with mine, but sometimes I felt like I didn't enjoy it as much when that was all I did. Working part time makes me appreciate the times I get to spend with them, and my job is very flexible so I don't miss anything, which is really important to me! I don't think you ever feel 100% sure about either decision, but you WILL feel more of a sense of peace about one or the other. Good luck to you!

J., really there is no decision. Stay home with your kids. If money is not an issue. Stay home. My husband and I made some BIG changes in our lives to be PARENTS and not just providers. When I got pregnant with my first child, we were both working. We had long discussions about what to do. She was born in Nov and I was asked to come back to work the following Sept (I was a teacher). We tried the "day care" thing for 3 months and I HATED IT (and it was only for 3 hours a day!). Someone else was holding my baby when she cried, someone else was tickling her toes (or worse NOT!) someone else got the smiles and the coos that were her trademark and that were meant for my husband and I. My husband and I made a decision, one of us had to stay home. At the time, I was earning more than him so he quit and became "Mr Mom".
It was hard. We gave up one vehicle, our cable, our vacation plans, and other "non-necessities". We did it for our baby. Because SHE was our priority. When we saw that things were getting a little tight, my husband took a nighttime post for 4 hours a night, from 8 PM to midnight. It brought in just enough to keep him home with our baby. When baby number 2 was born we were already into full swing of our routine. We even started to be "not so tight" with our money. I wasn't really making any more we just had a much simpler lifestyle. SOOOOO many of our friends couldn't believe that we were "making it". They were shocked! And needless to say, so were we. My daughters are 14 and 11 now, my husband is STILL a full time dad, my home based business teaching other moms to create the world they want (www.TheYummyMommy.com) is flourishing and we wouldn't have done it any other way. My girls are brilliant, well behaved, healthy and well adjusted. (no bias here! LOL)
My advice is this...DECIDE what is important and STICK with it. It will work, whatever you decide. Children are only young for a few short years. In my opinion there is NOTHING as important as raising children, your own children. I would challenge you to do whatever you can to stay home and be the mommy that your baby needs and wants.

Does that help?

B.
Family Success Coach

Just another thing to consider - do you have a healthy financial situation now (as in no debt at all at home or the business)? If not, consider paying it all off Dave Ramsey style before you quit entirely.

You say you and hubby own the business. If your husband has to hire someone else full time, your income WOULD change. You would now have to pay the employee's salary plus taxes on that employee, not to mention unemployment insurance, any benefits, and any other contengencies - and that would come out of your bottom line.

I was p/t for the last 4 years and this May I quit my p/t job to be a SAHM. I LOVE it. I have people ask if I get bored, and no that doesnt happen. I admit I do miss the adult interaction from time to time but wouldnt change it for the world. Since it is your own business is it something you could try out for a couple of months and see how it goes? Then if you dont like it you could go back to workiong with your husband? Its totally a personal choice so its hard for anyone to tell you one way or the other. Good luck and I wish you the best ((HUGS))

From the side of a mom who has to work outside the home 40 hours a week both of your options sound great to me! (LOL).

But seriously maybe you can have both. I know that it's difficult being home all day. I was laid off for 3 weeks, before being called back to work, a few months ago and I nearly went crazy. My boys were not at home and were in school all morning. I did not have that much to do around the house and was bored. I don't know any stay at home moms so It was not as if I could call someone to talk during the day. Everyone I know is working.

Although I really enjoyed that I was able to make my kids a hot breakfast, like pancakes or eggs, before school and that I was home to prepare dinner so that could eat as soon as they were home from school. And I did not have to rush out the door to get to work on time.

maybe because its a family business you will have the option to work whenever you feel the need to do something outside the home?
Good luck.

This decision is yours and your husbands. However, I know you are looking for our opinions. So here is mine--stay home with the kiddos! I've worked full time since I've had my son--he is 3 now. It's been extremely hard to know that I'm not the one raising my son. He spends more awake hours with his other caregivers than he does with me! Luckily he is an extremely bright, happy, sweet boy. I'm pregnant with baby #2 now and I told my husband I can't do it again. I can't have another child that I know someone else will be raising besides me. So I will get to be a SAHM after this baby comes and I am sooo excited! I know it'll be hard, but I know when I'm at work, I just wish I was with my son. I wish I would have more than a year at home with my son before he starts school, but at least I'll be home when he gets off that bus--with his sibling. Do what is best for you and your family. My own personal opinion is that if you are blessed with the wonderful opportunity to be able to be a full time SAHM then take it! Good luck!