With school fast approaching, letters and requirements are being mailed out. At our school, we have a MS / HS retreat in the Fall that’s 3 days. We’ve done this every year and it’s nothing new. Well, I was in the office the other day and a teacher / friend grabbed the information letter and read it. She was appalled that the deposit was $80 and the price went up $15. All of a sudden she blurts out “Well you know who’s NOT going!” I just stared at her and thankfully I didn’t open my mouth. This teacher just got back from a SIX WEEK vacation. Her in-laws purchased a weeklong cruise for her family of five. Her son (who just got his first job this summer) and husband (who just got a job 9 months ago) had to come back for work. She and the two girls stayed with the in-laws. When school was ending, she was telling me how hard this summer was going to be b/c our school doesn’t pay in June / July. I suggested she get a PT / Temp job, so at least groceries or the water bill was paid. At that time, was when she said she’d be gone most of the summer…and how she felt so bad that Jon (the 16 year old) was having to homeschool summer school (one class) b/c his job as a lifeguard was going to help pay rent – and he needed all the hours possible. That really threw me off (not the answer I expected). So, your children are going to have to do without, yet – YOU took a six week vacay? My daughter said she would talk to Jon to feel out if maybe he was going, but not the little sister (maybe Jennifer can’t send Bailey). I’m wondering if WE should “scholarship” half of Jon’s trip (he’s good friends with my daughter). At the same time though, this is a family who is constantly day late, dollar short for EVERYTHING! I used to feel sorry for them, but as I got to know them – I realized Dad is very lazy, cannot keep a job (always the victim and feels he has to leave) and “holds out” for better positions b/c he’s above flipping burgers (he went two years without a job until he got this current job). BUT Jon is sweet, hard working, compliant, eager to help and desperately wants to be with his fellow classmates (not always the option b/c of money). So that’s where I’m stuck on making the offer. Jennifer and Sam are CONSTANTLY getting sympathy from parents, church, etc. and are always getting “donations” b/c of their need. I used to help and MY MOM even offered to take their daughters shopping for winter clothes. So, I personally think if we pay for ½ of Jon’s trip (we would remain anonymous), it would be another opportunity for Sam to NOT step up, Jennifer to just sit and be pitiful. My daughter shrugged and mentioned she has enough her in bank account – but I don’t know if SHE was offering to pay for Jon to go (which wouldn’t surprise me). Any thoughts? Should we step up to help or make Jon do without?
You can't punish Jon because of his parents....its not his fault they are that way. And from what you say, he does not act like them.
So if you can afford it I would definately help him out. and that's how you have to look at it...your not helping them, you are doing it for Jon.
He sounds like a good kid... and he's lucky to have your daughter as his friend.
My husband and I have had a situation where we either help a mom by taking her son with us or have him over. We know that if we take the child the mom goes out and parties, but if we don't the child suffers. We prayed about it and really feel we need to do what we can in the interest of the child. Even though the mom gets the advantages, the child gets the benefits and needs our love.
If you want to sponser it do so. Maybe work with the school so that you can pay anonymously for 1/2 and they or you can give Jon a letter saying that 1/2 is paid for this trip, he only needs to pay the other portion to attend. This way the money dose not even end up with the parents or even the child but for the real purpose of going towards the trip for this specific student.
If I was in the situation and could afford it I would help my daughter's friend, but I would do the above. Some people are just not repsonsible with money so if I want to sponser or help out I usually pay for it up front or ask to take the child with me to do such and such (bowling, skating, shopping whatever). This way I know for sure the money is getting used for what I attend it to go towards.
Enough is enough, the parents need a good YELLING by more than one person! What lazy people that dont deserve the kindness befriended on them. I think you should spread the word about them so they can stop conning people.
As for Jon, how about making a barter. Find a service he mom/dad/Jon could do for you. Mow the lawn, or something
