To Have a Third Child or Not, That Is the Question??????????

I think you know if you are done - if you have a nagging feeling you are not done.

I have 2 kids - and NO nagging feeling lol

It's such a hard thing isn't it? Knowing when enough is enough. I can relate to this dilemma. I have five, and the thought of being "done" is difficult to decide.

Honestly, after having two, you probably already have most of the 'gear' you need. Monetarily, yes, it might be a bit more, but kids can certainly share rooms and learn compromise.

Most will tell you, going from one to two kids was so much harder than going from two to three kids. For us, five to six, wouldn't be much to add, other than an extra mouth to feed, and expensive schooling tuition when the 6th is school age.

But, I will tell you this: the best advice I ever got and will still use: God entrusts these decision to us, as parents to be able to use our right reason, so that we might be able to provide adequately for the children we currently have, and possibly for future ones that we bring into the world.

Good Luck,
sahmatwork
www.familysentinel.blogspot.com

Had to edit my comment, after you got a post here, that seemed uneducated and downright rude. FYI, do a little research and you'll find the truth: the world is not overpopulated. We all take good care of our earth. No one is breeding out of control (with the exception of the Dugger Family), and having children is not out of selfish desires, as anyone will tell you that having children is purely self-less, and I can attest to that fact, thinking of the amount of diapers, laundry, clean up and temper tantrums I've dealt with in the past. Each child is a blessing, a gift, and hard work. If I left my life to my selfish desires...well, then I'd be making big bucks, huge home, and all the luxuries life can offer.
But that's not life. True happiness, truly living comes from giving of oneself, now that's true fulfillment. How you choose to do that, to give of yourself, well that's your decision, and I would never criticize those who have one, two, three or more kids. But that's me.
This outlet of Mamapedia is great in the sense, we can all support and encourage each other, that's the beauty of it, we may not all agree, but we should all be kind.
Just my .02.

Will you ever get rid of that nagging feeling of wanting another baby? Probably not...even if you have a 3rd! It's always so tempting to have another little soft and cuddly baby to hold, but it isn't always practical.

If you can afford to add a third kid and can afford to still live the way you want and do things you want to do for yourself and for your kids, then do it. My husband and I struggle with this as well, but I have started thinking about things like taking vacations and a bigger house (as you mentioned) and those are major life changing things, not to mention all the things like soccer, dance, etc. that kids want to do. When you add schooling/college costs on top of that I about had a breakdown! ;) The world, right or wrong, is really designed for families of four...you can fit in the booths at restaurants, you can fit in one car, you can fit in one hotel room, etc., etc. I'm not really saying you shouldn't do it, that is such a personal and difficult choice, but I just thought I'd share some of things I think about!

I think I've decided to stick with two, but I know, without a doubt, when my youngest gets older I'll probably go back to my longing of a third! Good luck!

I have a lot of friends with 2 kids and a lot with 3. I always wanted 3 kids, but I figured they'd come one at a time!! I have a daughter plus girl/boy twins. So my 3 came in a way I didn't expect, but I absolutely LOVE having 3. Mine are now 8, 4, and 4. Having alone time with one is great, and I have the benefit of no kid being left alone without a playmate when I choose one for a special day. There is always a spare sibling to play with (plus dad). The bond between big sis and each twin is just as great as between my twins. We've never felt like one was the 3rd wheel, and I don't think the kids feel left out at all. We had a van already for bike trips & road trip vacations, so it was great to not have to buy a bigger vehicle. As for space in the house, we are tight, but we have 2 sharing a room, and they love it. We actually have bunk beds in both rooms now, so while my twins share a room & closet space, often one or the other will have weekend "sleepovers" downstairs in big sis's room. We make do. I have stayed home since my oldest was born, so childcare costs aren't an issue for our family. However, in choosing to stay home over 8 yrs ago, I did leave a senior level career and, at the time, it cut our income in half. It seemed a little bit scary then, but we don't feel we're missing anything and we're used to living within our means. We did have to buy extra gear, obviously, since we had two newborns at once. Our kids get along great in pairs and as a threesome, yet they don't completely rely on each other for play or for company (or us). It's amazing to see their 3 different personalities and styles and how they interact differently with each other. They've evolved, obviously, from the baby stages and we're done with diapers and the harder parts of the baby & toddler years. As for the house, ours is small, but we have a huge deck and a very big backyard. We've debated countless times and have decided that we're ok with sharing rooms and having less inside because we don't want to give up our yard! We've even taken the kids through houses and asked what they thought about it, and they, too, would miss their yard. We've got enough space, yet we're cozy here, and it's very satisfying to live with each other and within our means here. My biggest complaint is only when there seems to be 15 pairs of shoes piled up at the door when I'm trying to carry groceries in :) At the end of the day, it's about relationships and not stuff for me. I can't tell anyone how many kids is the right number for their family or their lifestyle, but I can tell you that 3 is wonderful for us!!

Keep the two! Especially if you're having to think about money in regards to a third. Also, if you feel complete -you're fine! Think of all the things that are much easier with two:

Vehicles, traveling, entertainment, babysitters, childcare, college tuition, clothing, braces, giving adequate attention, etc.

Plus -more people need to think about only replacing themselves. The world is horribly over-populated, so if we want a nice earth for our children and grandchildren and their children to inherit -we need to quit breeding out of control to fulfill our own selfish desires.

If you feel complete now, I hope you'll quit with the two wonderful kids you already have, and not only because it would be costly to your family. All the extra gear, bigger car, etc., are costly to the planet that our future generations, including your sons and their children, will need to survive.

for me personally, i decided to stick with my 2! I dont think that nagging feeling in the back of your head saying, "well, maybe ONE more" My husband always told me to keep my mind open for a third, but when i think of a third all i can think about is how much money goes into raising a child and that is all money that i could put aside for my 2 kids that i already have to go go to college and to provide them with extra things, vacations, new clothes, going out to eat, etc. things that may not be possible if we had the expense of another child. But, that is just me! i dont judge on anyone who had more then 2 kids. 2, was just what was right for me!

All I can offer you is that I'm very sorry I didn't have a third child within a couple of years of my youngest child's birth.

Now my two are 16 and almost 13 and I desperately want a third! Needless to say there is quite a large age gap there and I am not getting any younger.

When my two were small it just never seemed like the right time for more. I just wish I had thought more "long-term" back then. There is a time and a season for everything - and it does pass before you know it.

Whatever you decide, good luck to you and your family.

HAH! I thought we were done. One boy. One girl. Somebody higher then me had a different plan. We now have a 9 month old bonus baby girl. At 40 (me) and 45 (hubby). Best thing that ever happened to us. I cannot imagine our lives without her. She is just pure delight.

Do it. :-) Kids are great and worth anything you have to 'sacrifice' to raise them. I have four and have never regretted it, but often think about how much I would be missing if I had chosen to stop at two like I originally wanted.

And the overpopulation stuff really annoys the heck outta me. For those of you who want to play that card, read this: http://overpopulationisamyth.com/2-point-1-kids-a-stable-...

I don't have any advice for you, but if you feel complete you should stop. You have already replaced yours and your husbands lives with a child each so you are not adding to the pop. growth which is good!!

Agreed that you would not regret--I know too many people who wish they had had one more, but have never met any (healthy) families who looked at their third (or fourth, or whatever) and said, "Man, I wish we hadn't had you!" :) Money is one concern, but not the only--there will never be "enough." I can fit three carseats in the back of my Ford Focus (squishy, but doable). We also live in a 2 bedroom duplex and our boys share a room--we're trying for #3 now, who will live in our room until a year like our other boys, and we'll go from there. I actually saw an awesome triple bunk bed frame online for around $700-800--two bunks on top, one on bottom, that goes in a corner of a room.

If you are both interested, go for it. Too often one parent wants one more, and the other doesn't, but if you both want to grow your family, you will both be sad if you didn't at least try. You also have a little bit of time before the baby is born and will need all the extra space in the home. My boys adore other kids and get so excited when they see babies, and my husband and I just see our family's future with more than the two of them, so we are very excited about growing our little family now.

Child care can also be negotiable--a lot of providers have sibling discounts, you might be eligible for some financial assistance for working families, or you could look at alternatives, like family care or a nanny which can be less expensive for more children. I think we each child, too, people use less "gear." You know what you need, what you like, and what you can't live without (like a bouncy seat so you can actually take a shower, or a baby sling so you can wrangle the older kids, or an umbrella stroller that actually fits in your car with your groceries). Have fun house hunting, too! :)

YOu will never regret having another child, but you might regret if you never try, wondering what if. We have 2 boys ages 5 and 3 and now preg with our 3rd. It's not what I wanted having them that far apart, but with my husband's personal struggles that's how it worked out. I was in owe when we found out that we were preg again..........having couple friends who had 2 kids with no problems and just could not get preg with the 3rd.......I was wondering if 3rd was in God's plan for us. Since both you and hubby are considerng 3rd, go for it...... WE are still in the small town home, all 3 kids will be in 1 room, we only have 1 car and it's a 5 seater(nowdays they make car seats that can fit 3 in the row), as far as gear goes we too do CL or just ask friends to borrow thier stuff and child care, your oldest might be in K by then, so that will help.